FINDING THE BALANCE: FAITH, FAMILY AND WORK
SELECTED SCRIPTURES
INTRODUCTION: (Song: Running Just to Catch Myself by Mark Shultz)
Have you ever felt like that? In the spin cycle of life, going round and round... not having enough minutes to get everything done? Finding it hard to stay balanced? Well, you are not alone. So many of us find it difficult to keep a balance to all we have to do. And yet, in God’s Ten Commandments, the 4th Commandment reads: “Remember the day of worship by observing it as a holy day. .."(Ex. 20:4 GW) Obviously, to God there is to be a balance between work and our worship of Him. But as we read Scripture we also see that we are to spend time with our family, take care of our bodies, rest... but to keep a proper tension between work and the rest of life is a very complex problem. How can a modern worker, give the proper amount of attention to their career and at the same time not neglect family, the church and personal time? It’s a difficult assignment that a lot of folks are struggling with..
A 2002 Lewis-Harris poll showed that 71% of those families earning $50,000 or more annually would give up a days pay each week for an extra day of free time. "Leisure time, not money, is becoming the status symbol of the new century," says John Robinson, who directs the "American’s use of Time" project at the U. of Maryland. "A large segment of Americans," he says, "feel a critical time crunch."
Well, I believe if we are going to maintain a proper balance we need to examine what the Creator of time has to say about this. So, since this is Labor Day weekend I want us together to look at God’s plan through the Bible and see if we can avoid the extremes that often cause our “time crunch” and employ a balance to our lives.
I. IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM: AVOID THE EXTREMES
Since we are looking at a balance issues let’s see the extremes we need to avoid.
(1) The extreme of laziness. Three boys were boasting about their dads and one boy said, "My dad is so fast, he can shoot an arrow and get to the target before the arrow hits it." The second boy said, "My dad is so fast that he can shoot a rifle at a deer and get to the animal before it falls." The third boy said, "My Dad’s faster, he’s got both of yours beat. He gets off work everyday at 4:00 and he gets home by 3:30." Do you think that, in general, the American labor force is suffering from lazy employees? Consumer Report magazine does. For example: They suggest that if you are contemplating buying a new car that you ask the dealer to find out what day the car you were looking at was built on. If it was made on Monday the article suggested you not buy it because Monday is the day when the greatest number of assembly line workers call in sick and so the car is built by less employees doing several line jobs. Ecc. 10:18 - "If someone is lazy, the roof will begin to fall. If his idleness continues, the house will leak.."(NCV) In other words, laziness produces a poor product. And now we have folks that think it’s their God-given right to be lazy.
Listen to this letter to the Editor that appeared in the LA Times. “There has been a lot of criticism of people who do not choose to work, especially when they are collecting welfare. Most people prefer to work and that’s fine, but others may prefer to sit in the park, go to the beach or observe the wonders of nature. Now, those who dislike working should not be penalized by depriving them of the benefits of our society, there’s plenty for all. Everyone does not feel the same way about working//, some have built in feelings against it, especially when it’s required.
Now, my solution is that this natural attitude should be looked on as a handicap. We don’t punish other people with handicaps. Our society provides for them and should do the same for those who have a natural aversion to work. Why can’t we just live and let live, with each to his own style? We must not discriminate against one’s personal work ethic but provide humanitarianly for all people, no matter their labor preference." Isn’t that special?
You know the Bible has some harsh words for the lazy.. 1 Tim. 5:8- "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."(NIV) 2 Thess. 3:10-13- "Even while we were still there with you, we gave you this rule: “He who does not work shall not eat.” The book of Proverbs has all kinds of instructions against laziness. It says a lazy person sleeps in instead of doing what he should. Pro. 26:14- "As a door turns back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed." They sleep through class, they miss appointments or are late for work because they slept in, they go to St. Mattress on Sunday morning. Proverbs also says the lazy person is full of excuses. Pro. 22:13 - "The lazy person is full of excuses, saying, “If I go outside, I might meet a lion in the street and be killed!." He rationalizes his inactivity. “I can’t work today, the pollen count is too high. It’s Monday, people don’t buy on Monday. It’s Friday, people are knocking off early on Friday.” There’s always an excuse. Everything in God’s creation, from the ant to the human being, has a function and is supposed to work. But the lazy person spends his energy finding way to avoid that responsibility.
But I suspect in the room today, there are more people struggling with the opposite and second listed extreme.. the Work-Aholic. The workaholic gives an inordinate amount of time and energy to their career. Jesus gave an excellent example of a workaholic in Luke 12:16- “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. In fact, his barns were full to overflowing. ." But instead of enjoying that success, that God had given him, what did he do? "He said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store everything. " Now, Jesus was not saying that we should never prepare financially for the future but He was making the point that this man’s things were his future! He was so wrong.. vs:20- “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get it all?’" You see, the workaholic becomes obsessed with achieving. He or she tells themselves that they’re doing it for tomorrow. There’ll be a day in the future when they’ll be able to relax and enjoy his family and get his spiritual life together. But somehow that day never comes. You see where the lazy person produced a poor product, a workaholic produces greed, selfishness and a false security. They think they’ll always have enough time to turn things around, they count success in dollars and cents and yet have no sense. For they have put their security in temporary things. Jesus says, that’s foolish, because you don’t know the future and the things you have won’t be taken with you. And He says in vs:21- "Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God."
I think we have several contributing factors in this area. (1) I think we’ve traded the good for the best. You see, it’s not evil to have nice things or to work hard. But we’ve gotten so caught up in giving our time to the job that, we have, in our stress and worry, neglected the best things.. our relationships. In Luke 10 Jesus says something to a workaholic woman named Martha, that we need to hear. "As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing..” I mean here is a lady that is doing it right. She really knows how to run a kitchen. Stirring with one hand, cracking eggs with the other.. She’s preparing lots of food. But in the next room you can hear laughing, they’re having fun, but not Martha. She’s mumbling, can your hear her? "Stupid sister, I do all the work, she sits out there. Sweet little Mary, always ready to listen and never ready to work.” Finally, she’s had it. Vs:40b - “She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me." I think the room went silent.. Maybe all your could hear is the tapping of Martha’s foot impatiently. Martha’s so stressed out she’s begun to boss God around. But listen to what Jesus says to her.."My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details! " What had Mary chosen? She had chosen to sit at the Lord’s feet. Don’t you think Jesus would of been just as pleased with a bologna sandwich that took 3 minutes as He might be with a four course meal that took 3 hours? Some of you are missing the point of life! There is something better than your career, than getting your "to do" list accomplished... and that’s knowing Jesus. You see, in her business Martha forgot what was really important. That can happen to us so easy, I know, I’m one of those “Marthas.” And I’ve also learned that once out of control, it can present stumbling blocks to relationships with our loved ones and even with God.
(2) Another stumbling block for the workaholic is escape. These folks have somehow fallen into the trap where the only real satisfaction is found at work. Some of you here have been working 65, 70 hours a week and you never stop. But the time is only part of the problem. People hung up on career achievement give their primary emotional energy to their work. You give your best effort to work and then your family and your faith get the emotional leftovers. When you’re at work, you really work. But when you’re at home or at church, you’re still at work, at least mentally. Or you’re like one writer called, "passive puddles of protoplasm." You are so burned out from work you’re no good to anyone.
(3) Another stumbling block is insecurity. Maybe as a child you were raised in a home where you experienced conditional love. Approval was based on what good things you did. So you developed a performance oriented lifestyle.. but you found to your disappointment that no matter how many good things you did, it never was good enough. And now, even though you are away from home you are still trying to prove yourself by what you do.. only now it is only to yourself.
Rick Warren, a preacher in California, wrote an article once entitled: “How to keep your profession from being an obsession.”In that article he gave this little test. Here’s seven questions that might help you measure how your are doing in this extreme. See how many you say “yes” to. I’ll give you a gauge at the end. Warren says, Ask yourself.....
(1)“Does doing nothing "drive you up a wall?" I.e., you can’t sit still.
(2)“Do you find it difficult to say "no" to opportunities at work, but not in other areas your life?
(3) “Do you frequently find it difficult to turn your mind off when you go to bed?
(4) “Do people around you frequently tell you, "you ought to slow down." (When they do, do you consider that a compliment?)
(5)“Do you procrastinate about taking vacations?
(6) “Do you find yourself often bringing work home?”
(7) “Do you have to get sick to slow down?”
Now, here’s the gauge: How many did you answer “yes” too? 1-2 - It should throw up some red flags. 3-4 - Borderline obsessive. 5+ - workaholic.
Ecc. 10:15 says: "Work wears fools out; they don’t even know how to get home."(NCV) Folks, this world has caught many of us in it’s workaholic clutches. The philosophy of this age says, Success at work = success at life. But that is so far removed from what God calls success. The world evaluates our success in life by status symbols, God evaluates our success in life by spiritual depth & by balance, neither lazy nor a workaholic.
II EMPLOYING THE CURE: FINDING THE BALANCE:
I’m pretty confident that most here probably agree in theory with what we’ve just been talking about... but how do we put it into practice? Let’s look at 4 practical prescriptions we can take to provide a cure for the extremes and give us balance.
1) Recognize that it is God’s desire that you have balance. The 4th commandment in Exodus 20 instructs us to work, it is a command. But it also commands us to rest. Why did God say to rest at least one day a week? Because He knows how we are constructed. He knows in the long run we’ll be more productive and effective if we have balance, if we have a change of pace. Did you know that medical experts tells us that our bodies expend more oxygen in a day of toil than our body can recover in one nights rest? So, a days rest helps us to recuperate that expended oxygen. God knew that and He said, "Take a least one day off." So when you take time off, you’re not disobeying God, you are living life His way, by His design and in His desire. And here’s the really big plus.. When you strive for this balance you become more effective and your life - your relationships, your contentment even your health benefits.. In fact, CBS 47 reported last week that a new study shows that those who work more than 50 hours per week have higher blood pressure than those who do not. The study also showed that there was a direct link between the amount of work and stress levels.. The more work, the higher the stress. You see, God knew what he was doing when he talked about balance and since He wants your best He wants you to have balance.
(2) Schedule a personal appointment with your family. You get the necessary things done at work probably because, for the most part, you’ve scheduled it. You know what time you’re supposed to be there, what time your deadlines are due, when your appointments are. I believe one of the real secrets in living the balanced life as God has planned is to schedule the other areas of your life too. Remember, 1 Tim. 5:8 says that if you neglect your family you are worse than an unbeliever! I recommend at the start of each month that you sit down and place your kids ball games and activities in your calendar. Make those as sacred of appointments as you do that meeting with the boss or that presentation with an important client. When someone asks you if you can do something on that time you say, “Oh, sorry, no, I’ve already got an appointment.” I’d also recommend that when you do this family calender planning that at least once a month you choose a Saturday or an evening and make that "family night." Have devotions together, play a game together, eat supper by candlelight and don’t answer the phone. Make it a time where just your family is together. We did that when our children were young and it was great. Our rule was on family days there was no TV, no video games, etc. the kids would come home, do their home work and then we’d be together. We would play a board game, have devotions and talk. Now, one word of caution (especially to guys) think about this more deeply than I did. When we did this we picked Monday because that was my day off. We made this decision as the kids as the kids were going back in school - August - and I remember my wife saying, “You’re sure you want this to be Monday? And we’re not going to turn on the TV?” I said, “Yes” a hundred times not even thinking that football season was right around the corner and the first time I turned on the TV after the kids were to bed to watch Monday Night Football my wife reminded me this was “family day.” No TV. I started groveling! My wife is a shrewd woman and so she said, “I’ll let you out of this since the kids are to bed but I want another day.” That’s how “date night” came to be for us. And it worked well. At the beginning of each month we would set family day and date night. The later is where you and your spouse get out of the house without the children! Get a baby sitter and go to a movie, or for a walk or a drive. The important thing here is schedule it! First of the month, sit down and along with all your other things schedule your appointments with God and family and don’t let anything interfere with that. But the key is to schedule in advance! We budget our money, why shouldn’t we budget our time as well?
(3) Cultivate an interest outside work. Some people say, "Well, my work is my hobby, I don’t really need anything else." And it is good if you enjoy what you’re doing but all of us need some diversion, something that gets our minds off the job. Prov. 14:30- "A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life.."(LB) There’s an old Indian proverb that would agree with that says, "You will break the bow if you keep it always bent.” I hear people say, "I’m too busy to play tennis, no time for crafts." I believe people who say that are busier than Jesus. He often took time away, to relax and to renew His mind. Develop something where you can find fulfillment painting, gardening, sports, etc.
(4) I want to let “Mitch” from City Slickers introduce this next thing.
City Slicker VIDEO CLIP - Chp.10 - 1:06:06 - 1:07:58- 1:52
You see everyone wants to be in on the “Secret of Life” - the One thing that will make everything else make sense. It may not be baseball like it was in that clip but all of us hunt for what makes life real. But most are like Mitch... They have no idea. But guess who does? God. He knows that all the things we’ve talked about are good but that we must keep reminding ourselves of the “one thing”that is the most important. I remember what Jesus said to Martha? “There is really only one thing worth being concerned about.” It was knowing Him. Or as it says so succinctly in Matt. 6:33- “Our heavenly Father already knows perfectly well what you need, and he will give them to you if you give him first place in your life." So you say, “Sunday is God’s, along with a regularly scheduled quiet time with Him. That is going to take priority.” That’s the best tangible way to put Him first.
I didn’t always work in the ministry. After Bible college I worked two years as a youth minister and then through a series of events and desires I spent the next 12 years in law enforcement. So, I used to work shift work and know that Sunday can be a work day. So, make sure you still have a time with God. A time you are learning about Him, a time when you are talking to Him. Because it’s not just about going to church. Jesus is to be first all week too. When you study Jesus’ life you see Him scheduling daily time to be with God. Everyday you are saturated with worldly values.. Values of materialism, prestige, popularity, power.. But Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters, either you will hate the one and love the other or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Will you simply ask yourself this question everyday: "Who am I trying to impress?” In the end there is only one judge of the universe that’s going to matter.. give yourself to Him.
Bob Benson once said that he gave a talk at his son’s high school commencement. He wanted to do good because it was for his son, so he went out and bought a new 3-piece suit. He spoke, and did a good job. Afterwards a student came up and said, "Mr. Benson, did you know that your vest is buttoned wrong?" He looked down and said, "sure enough, I had buttoned the second button in the first button hole. All the time I was speaking, feeling so self assured, this cock-eyed vest was staring at these kids." And then he said, "You know what, it’s not hard to button your vest wrong. Just get the first button wrong and the rest is messed up. But it’s not hard to button it right either, you get the first button in the right position and everything else falls into place." I suspect that we have made our lives a whole lot more complicated than the God intended. You see, in the end, it’s not so much a matter of our schedules or the demands of our jobs, it is a matter of our hearts. When your heart is in the right position than everything else falls into place. That’s why Jesus said, "Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be." So, where are yours?
{All Scripture taken from the New Living Translation unless otherwise noted}
(***You also can introduce this sermon with a video clip from Sermonspice.com entitled "Spin Cycle")
