What more could a young man ask for? He was young and handsome and he had risen up through the ranks becoming one of his boss’s favourite and most trusted employees and had become fairly well to do in the process. He had everything he could possibly want. And to top it off a beautiful woman wanted him. If you know what I mean, nod nod, wink wink, nudge nudge.
The only problem, was that she was the boss’s wife.
At first she was coy, dropping hints about a possible relationship, dropping clues about what illicit pleasures might await him, but he never bit. When that didn’t work she got a little more direct, “Hey big boy, you wanna get lucky.” And he got a little bit more direct and said “No.”
Actually what he said is found in Genesis 39:8-9 But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. No one here has more authority than I do! He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I ever do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”
You have to admire Joseph’s integrity and more then that you need to admire his self control, because after his initial refusal She turned up the heat so to speak, Genesis 39:10 She kept putting pressure on him day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible.
When nothing else worked she tossed caution to the wind grabbed his shirt and said “If you don’t sleep with me pal, you are toast.” At which point he pushed her away and vacated leaving his shirt behind. Well to quote William Congreve “Heav’n has no Rage like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.”
And she had definitely been scorned, I don’t know if she was more upset because he wouldn’t sleep with her or because she took it as a personal insult, “What’s wrong with me, do these robes make me look fat?’
We don’t know how she perceived his refusal but the end result was the same. Well maybe you know the story, with our hero’s shirt in hand she calls her husband and accuses Joseph of trying to rape her and he’s chucked into prison.
Maybe you remember the entire story of Joseph, perhaps you’ve seen the musical “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” If not I have it and you can borrow it if you like.
Joseph was Abraham’s great grand-son and he was one of 12 brothers. You might recall that he had a habit of annoying his older brothers by telling them about dreams he had where he was in charge and they were all bowing down to him. So let’s pull up a map here. One day when they were attending their father’s sheep in Cana, which is right here, Joe was sent out with their lunch. When he got there he couldn’t wait to tell them about his latest dream. Well they had had enough, so they decided to do young Joe in. So they tore his coat off dipped it in blood so they could tell their father that a wild animal had obviously had Joe for lunch and then threw him in a well to starve to death. Right about then a caravan of traders happened by and the guys thought, we could sell him. Ever wished you could have sold one of your siblings? Well they did and the traders took him from Cana to Egypt and that is where the story that Karen read started.
And we discover Joseph being courted, wooed or harassed by his boss’s wife. And when he wouldn’t be part of the plan he ended up in prison. So what was it that kept Joseph from succumbing to her offer?
Over the past two months we been looking at the fruit of the spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22-23 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.
We’ve looked at how these are referred to in the singular that is they were the fruit of the spirit, not the fruits of the spirit. And because of that it is an all or nothing proposition. If you are controlled by the spirit you will exhibit these characteristics. It’s not going to be a pick and choice, buffet kind of thing. You can’t say, “Well I’d like a little love, a lot of joy, a bit of gentleness, but I think I’ll pass on the self control and patience.” Nope doesn’t work that way, the bible, God’s word says “When the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit.” Not he might or he may, but he will, not some of this fruit or most of this fruit but all of this fruit.
So since the beginning of the summer I’ve spoken about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and this week we are looking at being self-controlled. And you know what that means, right? That’s right summer is over.
So in the scripture we are looking at we discover these are the characteristics that we exhibit if we are controlled by the spirit, but what is the flip side of the coin? Let’s listen to the other scenario: Galatians 5:19-21 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Listen up because this is the thing none of us wants to hear, you will determine which scenario will be yours. You will determine if you are to be controlled by your sinful nature or by the Holy Spirit. It’s not about your upbringing, it’s not about your education, it’s not about your environment. It’s neither nature or nurture, you will have to accept the credit or the blame for this all by yourself because it is your choice.
Now you may not have the boss’s spouse hitting on you, maybe you do, I’m just saying. But every one of us deals with the issue of self control. It might be sexual temptation, it might be anger, it might be addictions of one kind or another, or appetites of one kind or another. But at some time you will have to decide about something and you will ask the question of yourself “will I decide to do what is right or will I decide to do what is wrong?” And then you will make the decision, you will determine whether or not you will control your desires.
Here is the reality that we need to acknowledge nobody else can do it for you, if you are going to succeed it will because you decided you were going to succeed. So here is something for you to engrave on your forehead.: If it’s going to be, it’s up to me. Say that after me: If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.
But in saying that here are some hints to help make it a little easier for you:
1) Pray You can’t do it alone and you don’t have to. Too often in our spiritual walk we want to be the hero and prove that we don’t need any help. We’re like a little kid insisting that we can do it ourselves and we end up with our shirt on backwards and our shoes on the wrong feet.
Jesus’ brother James summed it up when he wrote the early church saying James 4:2 And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
God wants to help, he wants us to succeed he’s just waiting for us to ask for that help. So why don’t we? I have been in the ministry for over twenty five years now and been in life considerably longer and I have discovered that the reason we don’t ask for help in resisting temptation is we don’t want it. We are afraid that we pray “Lead me not into temptation” that God might take us serious.
God wants you to be free of whatever it is that controls you. And Jesus made this promise to us in John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free. God wants to free you but you are holding the keys, those keys are called free will and he won’t break the locks without your permission. Are you ready, is it time to turn the keys over to God? Talk to God tell him what you want and ask him for the freedom that only he can give, remember, John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free. Has the son set you free? If so then stop living like a captive.
Set Goals What is it that you want to stop doing or that you want to start doing? Not some nebulous, I want to be a better person. What is it that you want? Do you want to quit smoking? Do you want to quit drinking? Do you want to end an immoral relationship? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to read your bible more? Pray more? Be less angry and more loving?
What you really want is to stop being under control of the sinful nature. And so set a goal, by this time next week, by the first of October by next year. What is it you want?
Words to the wise, Lee Iacocca said “The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” And from my favorite philosopher, Yogi Berra, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
Now in saying that be reasonable, you probably won’t lose 100 lbs next week, or be ready to run a marathon in October. But before you can be sober for 100 days you need to be sober for one day. And that may have to be your first goal.
Can you do it for an hour? How about 8 hours? 16 hours? Now you are ready for bed and you’ve been in control for a day.
Be Accountable Don’t try to do it alone, find someone who can help. A friend who will ask “How are you doing?” and that you can be honest with. A friend who when you feel like you can’t do it anymore will come along side and help out.
There’s a great story in Exodus about a battle that was being waged between the Israelites and the Amalekites. And as long as Moses held his staff up the Israelites were winning but when he dropped it the Amalekites gained the upper hand. Well how long can you hold your arms over your head? When Moses couldn’t hold the staff up any longer his brother Aaron and a friend name Hur came alongside of him, had him sit on a stone and they stood next to him and helped him hold his arms up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.
There’s someone out there who wants you to succeed and they will help but you are going to have to ask.
Surrender This is the tough one, you see it’s called self control but it happens when we allow the Spirit to have control, and it’s not easy to surrender control. Our key scripture has told us what happens when we allow the Spirit to have control but it’s not the only place it’s mentioned, listen to Ephesians 5:18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.
Who is in control of your life? It can’t be the Holy Spirit and you, cause here’s the reality you will mess it up. Jesus told us in Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Let’s go back to the story, Joseph was supposed to be serving Potiphar, Potiphar’s wife wanted him to serve or service her whatever the case may be. He couldn’t do both and he had to choose who he was going to serve.
If you are going to win you need to surrender control and leave it surrendered.
During the summer of 1977 I had a great job, I was a helmsman. Now you might be wondering what a helmsman is, that’s easy it is the man at the helm. You see I spent the summer working on the Irving Artic a 632 foot oil tanker and my job was two fold. When we were at sea I stood watch. Which meant that I watched. I stood out here on the wing of the bridge and kept an eye out for land, buoys, boats and other stuff. If it was out there I was expected to see it. But when we were in close confines, for example going into a harbour or up the Saint Lawrence Sea way I would man the helm. That simply meant I got to steer. Now understand in the summer of 1977 I had just turned 17, I had been in possession of my drivers licence for nine months and I got to steer a 632 foot tanker full of high test gasoline into places like Boston harbour, cool.
But I didn’t steer all the time, I would steer for four hours and then I would get eight hours off and so when my relief took over there was a procedure that had to be followed. He would come up along side of me and I would tell him the heading, which was simply the direction we were heading, he would repeat it I would repeat it and then I would surrender control to him. So he would step up and I would say 320 to which he would reply 320 I would affirm 320 I would step aside and he would take my spot and I would say “you have the helm” I was in effect surrendering control of the vessel to him.
Have you surrendered control to the Holy Spirit?
Pray Did I mention that you should pray? Again you can’t do this alone but God wants to help, listen to another promise made by Jesus Matthew 7:8-11 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
Paul wrote a letter to Christians in the city of Ephesus and in it he told them that he was praying for them, this is his prayer, Ephesians 3:16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit.
So Where you at? Whose in control of your life, because the only way you will develop self control is by surrendering control of self to the Holy Spirit. Let me pray for you.
Lord I pray that from your glorious, unlimited resources you will give each of these folks mighty inner strength through your Holy Spirit.
Powerpoint is available for this message, just email me at denn@cornerstonewesleyan.ca
