INTRODUCTION
• SLIDE #1
• One out of three marriages ends in divorce according to the Barna Research Institute.
• This is the Census Bureau’s often-cited "50%" rate, the proportion of marriages taking place right now that will eventually divorce, which has since been revised downward to roughly 43% by the National Center for Health Statistics but was moved back up to around 50% by the Census Bureau in 2002, with even more ifs ands and buts than usual. Most recently, according to the New York Times, it has been revised downward to just over 40%. http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html
• It seems like marriages and families are falling apart all around us.
• I think the answer for the break up of the family is found in the church. I believe that to be true, but according to Barna’s research, the rate of divorce for born-again Christians is about the same as those who are not saved.
• I am not here today to focus on the divorce issue. Nor am I afraid to deal with the subject, but today, we are going to look at some things that can make the family stronger and better.
• Marriages and families are struggling in part because we do not understand the God ordained roles of those who are a part of the family.
• What I am going to ask of all you this morning is for you to not tune me out because of what you THINK I am going to share with you from God’s Word this morning.
• Those who are in families are tied together and those ties we have to one another come with roles and responsibilities that when we fulfill them, we can have the great families we have wanted.
• Let us turn to Colossians 3:18-21 together this morning as we see what God’s Word has to say to us.
• SLIDE #2
• READ COLOSSIANS 3:18-21
• SLIDE #3
SERMON
I. A WIFE’S RESPONSIBILITY TO HER HUSBAND. (18)
• As a male standing before you this morning, this is the part where I can get in trouble with the ladies very quickly!
• Let us look at what verse 18 is telling us and what it is not telling us.
• When I was younger and dumber. I used to have this passage and the parallel passage in Ephesians highlighted and I made sure Robyn saw it. That was a smart move on my part!
• SLIDE #4
• When men start talking the responsibility of the wife, we sometimes go caveman in our thinking.
• Let us look at what verse 18 DOES NOT say first.
• Submitting to another person is an often misunderstood concept. It does not mean becoming a doormat.
• What is spoken of in verse cannot be forced upon the wife either. It does not say that Og is the supreme ruler of the wife or the home.
• In Paul’s day, the man in the Jewish culture was the absolute ruler in the home. Slaves were called to submit until they were free, male children were to submit until they were adults and the females were called to submit their entire lives.
• The submission Paul speaks of here is not the same that was practiced by the typical Jewish male of the time.
• SLIDE #6
• The second thing this passage does not imply is inferiority or superiority of one of the sexes.
• Many people think that because the wife is called to submit to her husband that it means she is less of a person or less important in God’s eyes and her own.
• SLIDE #7
• Galatians 3:28 (NASB) 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
• SLIDE #8
• Thirdly, it is not cultural in nature.
• SLIDE #9
• Genesis 3:16 (NASB) 16To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
• The order of things comes from Genesis. After the fall of man, as part of the curse of sin, God said that the wife would be ruled by her husband.
• Women have suffered at the hands of man every since.
• Let us now look at what it does say.
• SLIDE #10
• The submission spoken of is a VOLUNTARY on the part of the wife.
• The word submission means to willingly subject oneself to the authority of another.
• This is a not a command that a husband can force upon a wife, she has to want to do it. In a minute, we will see how a husband can make this a joy for the wife to do.
• Why would a woman in her right mind what to do this?
• Look at the end of verse 18. It is fitting to the Lord.
• This phrase expresses an obligation, a necessary duty.
• When a woman submits to the loving leadership of her husband and follows God’s intention for her, she is fulfilled and so is the husband. Efforts to reverse or confuse the duties of wife and husband destroy the blessing each is to be to the other. (MacArthur Jr)
• Ladies when you hear this passage does it make you want to run out and subject yourself to your husband? Let us see what husbands are to do to make this easy for the wife.
• SLIDE #11
II. A HUSBAND’S RESPONSIBILITY TO HIS WIFE. (19)
• Alright guys, it’s our turn now.
• We are given two commands.
• Let’s look at the first one.
• SLIDE #12
• Love your wife!
• Same love that God has for man.
• The love we are to have for our wives is UNCONDITIONAL.
• The word love is also one that denotes continuous action.
• If the husband wants to accept his place as the leader of the house, then he must also accept the sacred responsibilities given to him by God.
• If we want the blessing for our home that God wants to give to us, then we must also fulfill our responsibilities.
• SLIDE #13
• Ephesians 5:25 (NASB) 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
• Jesus loved the church so much that He gave Himself up for her. Everything Jesus did was for the good and well-being of the church
• Men, how many of us really love our wives that much?
• Now think about this. For the wife to voluntarily place herself in submission to her husband, she must trust that he is not going to use that to his advantage.
• The submission to the husband ends when he tries to lead his wife down a path that is not within the will of God.
• Husband’s, it is our duty to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Unfortunately too many of us love our wives with strings attached.
• SLIDE #14
• We are also told not to be embittered against them.
• This would call for patience with faults, and also for a refusal to vent on the wife bitterness generated by outside circumstances.
• The love that existed from the start of the marriage is to continue throughout the marriage; it must not give way to bitterness.
• My role as a husband is to love my wife with all I have. It is to look out for her best interests.
• SLIDE #15
III. A CHILD’S RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR PARENTS. (20)
• This one will be short and sweet. The child’s responsibility to the parents is to obey them.
• The word obey also denotes a continuous action. They are to always be obedient to their parents.
• If the husband and the wife are fulfilling their roles, then it will be easier for the children to obey because they feel security in having mom and dad have a good stable relationship with one another.
• Such obedience reveals an understanding of authority that can carry over into understanding God’s authority and all believers’ responsibility to obey him. A child’s obedience to his or her parents is well pleasing to the Lord.
• In the Old Testament, disobedient children could stoned to death.
• DEUTERONOMY 21:18-21
• C.S. Lewis said: If the home is to be a means of grace it must be a place of rules … the alternative to rule is not freedom but the unconstitutional (and often unconscious) tyranny of the most selfish member. —C. S. Lewis (LAB)
• SLIDE #16
IV. A PARENT’S RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR CHILDREN. (21)
• The command for children to obey does not give parents license for harsh treatment. Children must be handled with care. They need firm discipline administered in love.
• The purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow, not to exasperate and provoke them to anger or discouragement.
• Parenting is not easy—it takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner.
• Frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Instead, parents should act in love, treating their children as Jesus treats the people he loves. This is vital to children’s development and to their understanding of what Christ is like. (LAB)
• There are several ways in which we can exasperate.
• Here is a list of a few.
• SLIDE #17
• Overly protective.
• Overly Critical
• Favoritism
• Excessive Discipline
• Lack of affection
• Unrealistic goals
• Neglect.
• Parenting tough even under the best of circumstances. God calls us to not push the children to discouragement.
CONCLUSION
• The family is all tied together. You have heard the saying that if mama isn’t happy, the no one is. If the husband is not doing what he is called to do, mama will not be happy nor will the children feel safe and secure.
• I know I have work to do in this area. Can you imagine what marriage and family life would be like if we all did what Colossians calls us to do!
