Have you ever had a dream crushed? Have you ever totally devoted yourself to something only to see it fail? Have you ever felt complete despair in the midst of suffering? Have you ever doubted so thoroughly what you had taken to be true that you doubted everything? Have you ever lost a friend you loved deeply and been so confused about the “why” that doubts crept into your faith? Then you have experienced everything that Thomas experienced and you will be able to understand him quite well.
We’ve all heard the phrase “doubting Thomas.” We use it to refer to skeptics, to people who have a difficult time believing anything unless they see it or experience it for themselves – and even then they have their doubts. They are people who have to have everything proven to them to the point that there is absolutely no “wiggle room”, and even then they’ll try to not get pinned down to a commitment that they believe.
The first disciple we want to try to understand today is the man who began it all, in a manner of speaking, the Apostle Thomas. We know little detail about him. We don’t know where he comes from, and we know nothing about his family. He is called Didymus in John’s gospel. Didymus means “Twin”, and it would have been his Greek name. We don’t know who or what he was Twin to. So, on to what we do know.
We are all familiar with the account of the incident where Thomas doubted the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, but let’s review it all together for a moment. Turn with me to John 20:19-29, and let’s have someone read this story for us.
Okay, now that we see this in context and all together, what do we discern? First, since Thomas wasn’t a personal witness to the risen Christ, he refused to believe it. Second, he set up specific criteria by which he would believe. Third, he made an extremely rigid statement to the effect that, “Unless my standards are met I WILL NOT believe!” Pretty unyielding, don’t you think?
Well, that was Thomas alright – rigid, unyielding, not easily swayed, stubborn beyond belief, pessimistic, melancholy, gray, somber, and just downright mule-headed and grim. Yet, he also had a deep love for Jesus that carried him through, even when his faith was in question.
Let’s go back a little ways to a story recorded for us in John 11:1-16. Jesus and His disciples are taking a break away from the rising threat of the Jewish leaders who have already tried to stone Jesus twice in recent days. Word comes that one of His closest friends, a man named Lazarus, is deathly ill and needs Jesus to come. Jesus delays, waiting for Lazarus to die. The theology in this is enormous, but suffice it to say for now that, no matter what our circumstances seem to be, there is One who loves us just a dearly as He loved Lazarus and He may consider it best for a time that we endure whatever it is we are in the midst of.
At any rate, once Lazarus has died, Jesus determines to go to Bethany, which is right outside of Jerusalem. The disciples, sure that Jesus is walking into a trap and will most likely lose His life, try to talk Him out of going, reminding Him about the close call He has just survived. Jesus then says (John 11:14b-15), “Lazarus is dead, and I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, so that you may believe; but let us go to him.”
Enter Eeyore: “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.” Dedicated to Jesus, yet resolved to his fate, Thomas sounds so much like a man I heard about not long ago.
This man was a farmer, his neighbors were farmers, and everyone in the area considered him to be the biggest pessimist in the world. His closest neighbor did all he could to encourage him every time they spoke, leaning over a fence that divided their properties on one side.
“Look’s like the sun’s gonna shine good today!” the optimist said one morning.
“Yeah,” came the droopy reply. “Probably be so hot the crops’ll dry out and shrivel up and be no good.”
A couple days later, “Looks like rain, don’t you think?”
“Yep, and it’ll probably flood the fields and ruin the crops; just wait and see.” Ever the pessimist, never with any hope in anything.
This was the way it went year after year, season after season. The only thing the man seemed to come out of his gloom for was duck hunting. A transformation came over him every time he went out and brought home duck for dinner.
So, the good natured farmer decided on a plan to cheer up his neighbor and so he invested months and months and months getting things ready. Finally, everything is in place, so he invites his grouchy neighbor to go duck hunting. Still grumbling about anything and everything, yet he agrees to go with just the faintest hint of a smile tugging at one corner of his frown. All the way out to the marsh he asks a bunch of questions about the new bird dog his neighbor has with him. No detail is forthcoming.
“He is an amazingly talented dog, just you wait and see,” was the only reply that came.
Well, hours later, the grumbler gets a shot off and a duck falls from the sky. The dog owner calls out, “Gittit!”, and the bird dog takes off at a run, right across the top of the water! Grabbing the bird softly in his mouth, the dog brings the duck back and drops it, right at the feet of the man who shot it then sits back, wagging his tail and waiting to be commended.
The pessimist shakes his head in disbelief. “Seems pretty doggone foolish to spend so much time and money on a dog that can’t even swim!”
Well, that’s our Thomas. He was so mopey and pessimistic that he was nowhere to be found that Resurrection morning; nowhere near the upper room where the rest of the disciples were hanging out, waiting to see what would happen next. He had lost his best friend, and – more then that – he had lost the one person whom he had believed was the hope of Israel and the hope of all mankind.
People like Thomas miss so much! They miss out on the majority of the wonderful things that God goes about doing in the world around them because they expect the worst. They can’t help it. They’ve never learned to live with hope. They’ve never learned to live in anticipation of good. They’ve never been able to completely stop the melancholy from taking over – sooner or later, the bad they anticipate just seems to happen, once again proving them right.
I believe that Thomas’ early life was so filled with tragedy and loss that, despite his desire to live a faith-filled life, life itself overcame him often. Hope was fragile as well as elusive, yet still he persevered, “hoping” life would change.
It took Jesus giving Thomas what he thought he needed for it to finally get through. It took the Risen Savior being physically present, allowing Thomas to physically touch the wounds on His body before Thomas could believe.
His response? “My Lord, and my God (John 20:28).”
How often have we thought, “Oh, it would have been so awesome to have been able to walk with Jesus and to see and hear everything He did”? How often have we thought or said, “I wish I could see Jesus face to face, just once. Then my faith would never waiver” ?
Thomas saw Jesus up close and personal after His resurrection. Jesus tells Thomas that he believes because he has seen, but those who will believe without seeing will be more blessed than he is.
Thomas loved Jesus deeply, and did not want to have to face ever being without Him. That’s why he was willing to go with Jesus to Bethany and risk being killed by the Sanhedrin. Better to die with Jesus than to live without Him.
In John 14:1-6, Thomas again is faced with the prospect of having to face life without Jesus. Jesus tells His disciples to not let themselves be distressed – even though He is going to have to go away, He is going to make a place ready for them, and then He will return for them. Thomas is scared and confused, telling Jesus, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, so how do we know the way?” He is anything but convinced that Jesus isn’t going to leave them all behind and that he will never be able to find Jesus again once He is gone. He sees the source of his hope threatening to disappear once again.
By Resurrection Day, Thomas’ worst fears have been realized – Jesus is dead and gone and Thomas now has to face an uncertain future without the one person who ever gave him any hope at all. What is he going to do? What is he to believe? Did he just waste the last several years of his life on an illusion? Where was he to go?
When he heard from his fellow disciples that Jesus was alive and that they had seen him, he so wanted it to be true! But, he didn’t dare get his hopes up – what if they were wrong? What if it was just a wishful hallucination? He had to see for himself. He just couldn’t trust what other people said – not again. He just couldn’t risk it.
Jesus had a use for Thomas or else He never would have called him to be one of His disciples. Jesus knew that, despite his affinity for pessimism, Thomas loved Him and was willing to die for Him. That was something Jesus knew He could use. Thomas is famous for doubting, but we forget the depth of his love for Jesus. What we learn from Thomas is that Jesus is going to meet us right where we are and expect us to pay attention to what He has told us and stand on that, no matter what we may feel or think we have figured out.
This is what faith in Jesus Christ day-to-day is all about. We have to take Jesus at face value. Stop hesitating; stop believing your doubts more than you believe His Word. What camp do you fall into?
Now, on to the last man in this group, the author of the first gospel: Matthew.
Imagine being audited by the IRS and that the audit does not go well at all. One minor error a long time ago is now a major big deal. By the time the IRS agent is through with you, you owe more money in penalties and interest than you have paid in the previous ten years of taxes. He could have cut you some slack, but he has a standard to uphold and a reputation to live up to. Your appeals all fail, so you have to pay every penny. By the time you get it all paid off, you are going to need a very long vacation. A missionary comes to your church and tells all about the exciting work God is doing in Costa Rica, and it really appeals to you. You can go away for a long time and do a good work for God at the same time. Just what your wearied soul needs.
Now, imagine that you are all packed and ready to go to Central America for your extended mission trip; your job is on hold, your friends think you’ve lost your mind, and your family is praying you’ll get it out of your system before you ever board the ship for the month-long voyage to another continent. As you shake hands at the top of the gangway with the mission leader whom you have grown very comfortable with and trust a great deal, you see your favorite IRS agent walking up the gangway, loaded down with luggage.
No! It can’t be! This cannot be happening! But, sure enough, the mission leader turns to the new arrival with a warm smile and says, “Let me introduce you two.”
This is a toned-down version of what Jesus’ followers felt when Jesus said one day to a man named Matthew, “Come, follow Me (Matthew 9:9).” We studied this a little while ago when we studied Matthew 9. As you no doubt recall, Matthew was a tax-collector for the Roman government.
The collecting of taxes back then was much different than collecting taxes is in our day and age. The Roman government established a specific amount of taxes to be collected and paid in a given area of the empire, then sold to the highest bidder the rights to collect the taxes they imposed.
The Romans set the base amount that was to be collected, and anything that the collector received over and above that was theirs to keep. The Roman legions were the enforcers of the tax collection system, and no one argued with them. Death to the complainant was the way complaints were handled. The tax-collectors collected the duties, or taxes, on everything. They set up their booths where the roads crossed and they collected on everything that was imported, everything that was exported, everything that was bought, everything that was sold.
They set tolls on roads, tolls on bridges, tolls on harbors, tolls to enter towns and tolls to enter market places. They set tolls on the numbers of axles on carts, how many legs were on your donkey, the size, number and type of packages and letters. You name it…everything – absolutely everything – had some kind of tax on it.
The tax-collectors made a designated commission on everything they collected. Then, on top of that, they accepted enormous personal bribes from rich businessmen who wanted to avoid paying the majority of the taxes they were legally expected to pay; they swindled the common people and embezzled from the government; money and power were their gods. Matthew was one of these men.
What made it all the worse was that he was also a Jew. Most scholars agree that Herod Antipas was most likely the one to whom the Romans had sold the rights to collect the taxes, and that would mean that Matthew was working for the one man in Galilee who was more hated by the Jews than the Romans were.
Matthew was in a position that was despised by his fellow Jews more than any other. He was seen as a traitor, he was seen as unclean, and he was seen as an enemy. He was a publican – a greedy extortionist and thief who gained great riches at the expense of his neighbors and fellow Israelites while consorting with and aiding the enemy, the Roman oppressors.
He wouldn’t be allowed to testify in court because it was known that tax-collectors were liars and thieves and that they accepted bribes at the expense of their fellow Israelites. Robbers and murderers were not allowed to testify. He wasn’t allowed to enter a synagogue or even the Temple itself because he was seen as unclean and was cut-off from God. The Talmud taught that it was “righteous to lie and deceive a tax-collector.” Imagine, being considered so vile that your own religious teachers considered it an honorable and righteous thing to lie to you and deceive you.
This is the man Jesus invited to be one of his disciples that hot, dusty day. This man who was much despised and much feared was invited to leave behind his life of legalized extortion, and he accepted. Now, they were stuck with him, just like in our imaginary story at the beginning of this portion of our lesson today.
So, what do we know about Matthew, who is called Levi in both Mark’s and Luke’s gospels, and more specifically called “Levi, the son of Alphaeus,” in Mark 2:14?
Let’s go back to our IRS agent for a moment. Why do you think he was getting on the same boat that you were? Probably for the same reasons. My guess is that, just like Matthew, there came a day when he looked at his life, felt trapped in it, and then a voice offered him a means of escape. Jesus extended an opportunity for him to be rescues from his life...and he took it.
Matthew must have been quite a scholar of the sacred writing of the Jews. Even more so, he must have been extremely familiar with the Old Testament prophecies regarding the coming of Messiah. Matthew had a heritage that was rich in the knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures. Matthew is referred to by his tribal affiliation in Mark’s gospel, which was the tribe of Levi. It was the tribe of Levi alone that provided the priests that served in every capacity of Temple worship and sacrifice.
Throughout his gospel, Matthew repeatedly uses phrases like, “for it was written by the prophet,” and, “so that the Scriptures might be fulfilled.” It is interesting to note also that not one single question or statement of Matthew’s is recorded anywhere in the New Testament.
See, I believe that Matthew was a man who was so keenly aware of his sinfulness, so deeply grateful that Christ would condescend to forgive him his sinfulness that there was a quiet humbleness about him that made him glad to just be able to be with Jesus. He didn’t need to make a show or a name for himself. Just being with Jesus was enough. That is also why I am convinced that Matthew put this single statement in about his calling immediately following the account of Jesus healing the paralytic carried by four of friends. Jesus said to the man, “Take courage, My son, your sins are forgiven.” That proclamation of grace extended to the weak and unworthy was the breath of life to Matthew. He responded to that call.
Jesus said, “Follow me,” and Matthew stood up and followed Him. No discussion, no negotiation, no wrapping up loose ends. He just stood up and walked away from the life that he knew. That is another remarkable thing about Matthew. His fellow disciples all had jobs and families to return to if things didn’t work out for them from following Jesus. In fact, John 21 records the fisherman returning to fishing after the crucifixion and even the resurrection of Jesus. There would always be boats and nets around the Sea of Galilee. But, Matthew wasn’t able to go back.
Once Matthew stood up from that tax table, once he walked away from his position, there was never any returning. The Romans would have seized everything there was in Matthew’s tax booth, and then they would have sold the lucrative business and its associated power to the highest bidder. The rights to collect export taxes that Matthew walked away from meant that he was not only walking away from his life and his income source, he was walking away from his acceptance by the Roman officials and soldiers. He became just another dirty Palestinian, another filthy Jew.
For Matthew, it’s all about forgiveness of sins. See, Matthew loved the Lord and loved His Word. He spent hours and hours and hours, pouring over the Scriptures, listening to the conversations of the learned ones, trying to understand all that he could. It is only the gospel of Matthew that quotes from all three of the sections of the Sacred Writings of the Jews; the Law, the Prophets, and the Hagiographa (the other eleven books of the Old Testament). But, somehow he had gotten himself stuck in a job with a circle of friends that filled him with guilt every single day – he just didn’t know how to get out. The one day, Jesus walked up to the tax booth and said those fateful words: “Come, follow Me.”
Rescued! Loved! Forgiven! Matthew would ask each of us:
“Do you have sin you need to have forgiven?
“Do you have a dead-end life that you need to be rescued from?
“Do you have a tendency toward selfishness and personal comfort you need to walk away from?
“Do you have friends you need to escape whom you find easy to follow down paths that dishonor and displease God that you know better than to pursue?
“Then do what I did, stand up, walk away from it, turn your back on it, and follow Jesus. And don’t you dare look back.”
What did Matthew do when he walked away form his tax booth that day? He invited all of his “friends” over for dinner and gave them all a chance to meet Jesus. He invited every person he knew who was in the same position he was in and gave them all a chance to be rescued, just like he had been. No shame, no embarrassment, no hesitation – when he chose to follow Jesus, he chose to follow him completely.’
Matthew’s gospel gives us more detailed accounts of the miracles of Jesus because Matthew so readily recognized the acts of merciful rescue that Jesus performed each and every day. Matthew understood that Jesus was God in the flesh, rescuing the people He created and loved from the pit of sin and hopelessness that they had climbed into. Matthew’s devotion to Jesus was quiet and humble, yet sure and complete.
That’s the kind of man that Matthew was. That’s the same kind of men and women that Jesus is looking for to follow Him today. Are you ready? Are you willing?
Then, let’s go!
