FRUIT THAT IS NEVER OUT OF SEASON
SELF-CONTROL
Galatians 5:19-26
John Maxwell
INTRODUCTION:
Turn with me to Galatians, Chapter 5 this morning. We have talked about the different aspects of the fruit of the spirit that Paul gives us. Through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live an incredible life. Let’s start in Galatians 5:19 because Paul does a tremendous job of contrasting the Christian who lives in the fruit of the spirit with the non-believer who lives by the fruit of the flesh. In this first part, Paul describes people that are out of control, and the last aspect of the fruit of the spirit we’re going to talk about today is self-control. And so we’re going to be able to contrast the believer who has learned self-control and self-discipline, with the person who has never been able to get their act together and their life under control.
"People’s desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds. They worship idols. They practice witchcraft, hate others and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are envious. They get drunk, carry on at wild parties, and do other evil things as well. I told you before and I’m telling you again; no one who does these things will share in the blessings of God’s kingdom. God’s spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. There is no law against behaving in any of these ways. And because we belong to Christ, we have killed our selfish feelings and desires. God’s spirit has given us life and so we should follow the spirit. But don’t be conceited or make others jealous by claiming to be more right than they are." Galatians 5:19-26
In my book, which was released last June, Developing The Leader Within You, Chapter 9 is basically on self-discipline. I began that chapter by saying, "The first victory that successful people ever achieve or win, is the victory over themselves." The moment we begin to have victory over our own flesh and our own desires, and become self-controlled, then all of a sudden we can become victorious over other things in life.
The Greek root for the word self-control means "to get a hold of " or "to get a grip on". Proverbs 25:28
It literally means to get your hands on something until you are in control of it. Today, we’re going to talk about getting our hands on and getting control of ourselves. Proverbs 25 states, "A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls." We all know that cities when this was written were safe only because of their walls. And the proverb writer says that the moment that we lose self-control and self-discipline, we are a city without any kind of protection.
Anything uncontrolled can harm your relationships:
Anger (Proverbs 29:11) Drinking (Proverbs 23:29-35)
Lust (Proverbs 6:26) Ambition (Proverbs 23:4)
Spending (Proverbs 21:20)
"What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend upon what we already are. And what we are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline." H.B. London
I want to begin this message by giving you 5 very simple starters of living a self-controlled, self-disciplined life. I think many times we take a character trait such as self-discipline, and make it more difficult than it is. It’s very simple.
The "starters" of self-discipline:
1. Start with yourself.
"Looking back, my life seems to be one long obstacle course ... with me as the chief obstacle. Jack Paar
No, that’s a little disgusting, isn’t it? Wouldn’t we rather start with someone else? How many of you know somebody you really wish could hear this message? I’m saying don’t start with your brother, your sister, your husband, your wife, your neighbor, your dad, your mom, your kids; start with yourself.
D. L. Moody, that great evangelist of the last century was asked, "Of all the people you come in contact with, who gives you the most trouble?" He said, "D. L. Moody. I have the most trouble with myself."
Several years ago I saw a sign on an office door that was so good, I stopped and I wrote it down. I knew some day I’d use it and I’m going to use it now. It said, "If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for weeks." Start with yourself. I’ve got to start with myself. The whole issue of self-control starts with self. This is a poem my father gave me when I was in high school. This was a classic.
Your Competitor
An enemy I had, whose face I stoutly strove to know,
For hard he dogged my steps unseen wherever I did go,
My plans he balked, my aims he foiled,
He blocked my onward way.
When for some lofty goal I toiled, he grimly said to me, Nay.
One night I seized him and held him fast,
From him the veil did draw,
I looked upon his face at last and lo ... myself I saw.
2. Start early.
Self-discipline - The first lesson that ought to be learned, but usually the last.
In fact, the earlier the better. I consider self-discipline the most important part of a person’s character. It will give them the success and help them reach the highest potential that they can possibly reach. So I would encourage you to start early.
Much to my regret as a child, my father started early on me. I can still remember him giving my brother, my sister, and me our chores for the week. Now some of them I had to do every day, but some were once a week deals and I could pick when I did them. For example, my job every week was to clean the basement. When I moved out on the West Coast and found they don’t have basements out here, I wished that I’d grown up out here. But I would’ve been cleaning the garage or something else.
I can remember my dad saying, "John, you can clean the basement any day during the week, but at Saturday noon, inspection time comes. And it must be clean. On Saturday afternoon we’re going to go do something as a family. Maybe we’ll swim, or picnic. Something fun for you kids. But if the basement’s not clean you’ll miss out on the fun."
And I could remember the very first time when I messed around and goofed off as kids do, and Saturday noon came and I didn’t have the basement cleaned. They were all ready to go, and I’m all ready to get in the car and dad says, "You don’t get to go. You didn’t get the basement clean." I remember I stood there at the door and watched the family leave to go have fun. I’ve got to go down and clean that lousy basement. Why was it that I had a father that hated me so much? Oh, life was complicated and times were tough, and why couldn’t I have some undisciplined jerk for a dad who wouldn’t require anything out of me?
My dad had a favorite expression that he used to teach about prioritizing our life: "Pay now, play later." And he’d say, "Kids, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Somebody always pays for it. If you pay on the front end and work hard, which may mean in your homework, your chores, your marriage, your relationship with God, then you can play on the back end. You can really enjoy life. Or, if you want to, you can play on the front end." What he always taught us is that whether you play on the front end or on the back end, there will be a time when you pay. If you play on the front end, you’ll pay some day in your life. You may wake up and say, "Good night, I’m not the father I wanted to be. My kids aren’t what I wanted them to be. Uh-oh, life exacts a payment from me."
My friend, Bill Klassen, is a member of our church and prayer partner of mine. One day, when he heard me telling this illustration, he said, "John, if you pay later in life, the price is greater." And I thought, how true that is. This is one thing I would say to those who are young. If you learn self-discipline early, it is amazing the dividends it will pay later in life.
3. Start small.
What you are going to be tomorrow, you are becoming today. It is essential to begin developing self-discipline in a small way today in order to be disciplined in a big way tomorrow.
I think so often when we look at life we think we’ve got to do something big. No, don’t do something big. There’s an old joke, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." How do you tackle the big issues in your life? Start small. Do what you can do today. How do you become a great spiritual giant? You don’t by starting out praying an hour a day. You do it by spending a little time with God every day. Maybe it’s 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 10 minutes.
How do you build a great marriage? You don’t by coming upon great discoveries the first year that you’re married. Good night, you’re lucky to keep your marriage together. But you do the small things and you don’t despise them and you do them well. And you pay the price. And you make those building blocks until some day you’re able to tackle the big things in life. But start small. Don’t try to do everything. Just do some things exceedingly well.
4. Start strategically.
"Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it’s not all mixed up."
Christopher Robin, in Winnie the Pooh
Look at the things that you need to get control over. I am assuming that all of us have areas that we need to get control over, that we’re not disciplined in all areas. Am I assuming correctly? How many of you probably need discipline in at least one area of your life where you don’t exercise it much now? Those who didn’t raise their hands are lying. You can’t tackle them all or knock them all out in one day. So what you have to do is just list your three weakest areas. And if you’re not sure what they are, ask your spouse. Three, only three.
And of those areas that are weak, which one hurts you the most? Well, which is really the one that’s defeating you the most, keeps you from living that triumphant life we were singing about a little bit earlier? Once you decide, then you begin to work daily in that area. Just a step at a time and have someone hold you accountable in that area. Begin to chart your progress. Just get organized and get control of certain things in your life, and then begin to do them a step at a time.
5. Start now.
John Hancock Field says, "All worthwhile men have good thought, good ideas, and good intentions, but precious few of them ever translate those into action."
I encourage you that the best time to get self-control of your life is today. Not tomorrow. I’m amazed at people who are always going to do something someday. Most of the time, those people have dreams, but they’re never going to accomplish them. Every one of us knows what it’s like to procrastinate with things that we need to be doing right now. Start now.
How many of you have ever sung in the shower, and have had your spouse yelling from the bedroom telling you to shut up? In the shower, we all get good ideas, don’t we? You start off in the morning just rubbing the body down and you’re starting to smell pretty good. And you’re starting to sing a little bit. You get a good idea. How many of you have ever had a good idea in the shower? For those of you who didn’t raise your hand, how many of you have ever had a good idea? Now, can I tell you the difference between a person who’s successful and one who’s unsuccessful in this area of self-discipline? It’s very simple. We’ve all had good ideas. The question is, when you dry off, do you implement them or do you leave them where the shower is? And the next day you get back under the shower and say, "Oh, that’s a good idea." Start now.
Characteristics of self-disciplined people:
1. They accept responsibility.
Show me a person who has the ability to discipline their life, and I will show you a person who has already understood that they are the greatest problem they have in life, and they accept responsibility.
Responsibility requirements:
A. Be responsible for who you are.
Look at yourself right now and what you are. I want to tell you , you didn’t get there by accident. We are today what we decided yesterday. And we will be tomorrow what we decide today. I read recently about a psychologist who did a survey of prison inmates, like six hundred of them. And he said not one of them said they were personally guilty. He said, "I found the most innocent people on God’s earth in prison."
You know what the problem is? They haven’t taken responsibility for themselves. I want to tell you something, I not only find that in prison, I find that every day working with adults. Amazing how many people are not taking responsibility for where they are, who they are, what’s happening to them in their life. We have -- oh, God help us what a sick, pathetic society we have -- a victim society. And people looking around and finding someone else to blame for what they are. It’s very seldom our fault. It’s always someone else’s fault.
Just watch the news. People kill people. It used to be when you killed, you were tried for murder. Now we bring in 17 therapists. "Well, yeah, they killed him but they’ve had a traumatic background. So you’ve got to understand what they’ve gone through." They get off. They’re gone. They’re free. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Talk to adults, they don’t even have their act together. They’re blaming their parents. People my age, 47, still blaming their parents for not diaper training them at the right age. Get a life. You can’t even get saved or develop a relationship with God until you admit, "I am a sinner. I have done wrong. I am guilty. I am the one to blame. I’m the one who deserves hell. I’m the one who deserves death. I am the guy. It is me."
Amazing. The unwillingness of people to just grow up enough to say, "I was wrong." Take responsibility for who you are. If you’ve got a bad attitude, it’s because you chose to have a bad attitude. You got a stinking attitude; fix it. Wouldn’t you like me to be the leader of your therapy groups? I’d do a good job taking you through the 12 step program, wouldn’t I? Yeah, here’s the first one. Be responsible for yourself.
B. Be responsible for what you can do.
You see, we’re not only responsible for who we are; we are responsible for our potential. I am, you are. God gave me certain gifts, abilities, talents, opportunities, privileges. I’m responsible to be the person that God intended and created me to become, and so are you. Amen? Reach your potential. God didn’t create you or me to live on easy street and be in retirement and lay back. He created us to reach our potential. As Zig Ziglar said the other day, "The only place you see retirement in the Bible is when it was punishment." Now, don’t panic. It was just a thought, and, besides, Zig said it.
C. Be responsible for what you have received.
People that are self-disciplined are responsible for not only who they are and what they can become, but also the blessings that God gives them at that moment. They don’t just live off of the land and the blessings. They understand that those blessings are given to them so they can pass them on to others.
2. They welcome accountability.
Plato said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
You show me a person that is self-disciplined and I will show you a person that welcomes accountability, welcomes others coming in and examining their life.
I put in here the four questions that John Wesley asked in his weekly class meetings. You know, the Wesleyan Church gets its heritage from John Wesley. And you have a proud heritage. He was the greatest man since Saint Paul, no question about it in my mind. He started small groups. When you think of lay ministry, letting people who are not ordained carry the gospel, it started with John Wesley. Anyway, Wesley had weekly meetings, and in them four questions were asked. I have them here because I thought you would enjoy them. If you’re in a home group you may enjoy discussing them sometime.
John Wesley’s "Four Questions"
A. What known sins have you committed since we last met? If there is such, what shall we do about it?
B. What temptations have you faced?
C. How were you delivered from these temptations?
D. What have you thought, said, or done, of which you are uncertain whether it was sin or not?
3. They develop integrity.
They did a survey of 1300 senior executives in America, asking what was the most important characteristic in a person. Out of 17 options, integrity was chosen by 76 percent as the top quality to have.
Integrity in a leader must be demonstrated daily in a number of tangible ways. Listed below are five that I strive to demonstrate to those I lead.
1. "I will live what I teach."
You know we ask young people, "What are you going to do when you grow up?" Can I tell you a more important question? I don’t think you should put the career decision before the character decision ,because a young person had better decide what he’ll be before he ever decides what he’s going to do.
If I decide to be the right person, no matter what I do I will be successful in life. but if I decide not to become the right person no matter what I do, I will always be a failure. Character always comes before career. A long time ago I can remember deciding that if I don’t live it, I’m not teaching it. People talk to me about my forthrightness in preaching and teaching. It’s not complicated or because I’m brilliant. It has everything to do with one thing: If I live it, I’ll teach it and if I don’t live it, I won’t teach it.
Two, three weeks ago I talked to you about faithfulness. Now, I personally prepared the faithfulness message about three weeks before that. I mean, as far as writing it down and getting the notes and putting them in my Bible. But that isn’t where the message was built. You know when it was built? It was built when I was 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. Margaret was with me when I was 17 years of age in the service where I answered the call to preach. We were just going steady, just dating. She went to the altar with me that night when I publicly told everybody I was going to enter the ministry. I remember walking around with her that night for about an hour afterwards and talking to her about what it would mean if she would ever marry me or a preacher like me -- the sacrifice and the whole process. I remember we had a good long discussion.
I want to tell you something. While I was dating and engaged to her, I had to live this message on purity and faithfulness. We were terribly tempted the last year -- the worst thing we ever did was not get married a year earlier. We’d see each other, kiss and leave after 10 minutes. She couldn’t keep her hands off of me. We had mostly 10 minute dates our last year. It was awful. I’ll never let my kids go through that, never.
When I look you in the eye and tell you to live a pure life, I’ve lived it. I’m not going to teach and preach something to you that I don’t live. I don’t get my sermons out of a book. I don’t get them out of some little recipe over there where you kind of get three points and a poem. I try to live it. And if I can’t live it, I hope to be honest enough to have someone else come in and preach it or I’ll just skip that passage of scripture. Because the last thing you need in life is some guy up in front of you preaching messages that he doesn’t live. You don’t need better sermons, you need better preachers. And we don’t need better testimonies from Christians, we just need better lives.
2. "I will do what I say."
3. "I will be honest with others."
4. "I will put what is best for others ahead what is best for me."
Here’s an important leadership principle: the higher you go, the fewer options you have in life.
5. "I will be transparent and vulnerable."
Basically that means that when I’m wrong I’ll ask forgiveness. You don’t have a perfect pastor. That bothered me once until I realized I don’t have a perfect congregation. I looked around at the lives of those I lead and got greatly encouraged.
We’re all trying to serve Jesus. Love him, live up to the potential he created for us. And be the best person we possibly can be. Amen?
