FRUIT THAT IS NEVER OUT OF SEASON
KINDNESS AND INTEGRITY
Galatians 5:22
John Maxwell
INTRODUCTION:
This morning I want to cover two aspects of the fruit of the spirit which I have not done in any of these messages: kindness and integrity. Let me define integrity, first of all, this morning.
Integrity: Deciding to integrate my heart’s value into my daily actions.
And I think the key word is the first word: "deciding." Circle it, please. Because we do not slip into integrity. We don’t accidentally one day discover that we have it. It’s a decision. Now, God places a very high value on integrity. Proverbs 22:6 in your sermon section, "Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than he who is crooked, though he is rich." In other words, God places much more value on integrity than on material possessions. I Chronicles 29:17, "I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity." Integrity is one of the things that makes God smile.
Now, there’s a gap in America. I know that because the George Gallup poll recently came out that said that one of the problems that Americans face is that of incongruent values or lifestyles. In other words, what we say as Americans and what we seek or want or do, are two totally different things." He said that for example, if you poll the average American, they would say that materialism is not important to them, and yet they want a lot of things. If you talk to a father, he would say something like "I want to spend a lot of time with my child," but he doesn’t. If you talk to a couple, they would say something like, "I want to have intimate conversations with my spouse," but they don’t. And George Gallup, as he looks across America, says that one of the problems in our country is that what we say and what we do are not consistent in our lives.
I think that Paul, when he wrote to the church at Rome, saw the same problem. He said, "No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself to do right. I want to, but I can’t." There are many of you this morning who are very frustrated, as you listen to this message. What you know is right and what you do is not the same thing. You want to do right, yet there seems to be something within you, like the Apostle Paul, that causes what you try to do to sometimes just not come out the way you want it to.
I want to teach you today, through these principles in the Word of God, that integrity is the foundation for every relationship that we’re ever going to have in life. It’s the foundation for marriage. It’s the foundation for a good business relationship. It’s the foundation that makes you a good neighbor. Integrity is the key. In fact, in your sermon notes I have this little statement that says,
Integrity has the power to build trust.
Trust is what fuels a relationship.
All good relationships stem and go back to a foundation of integrity. God’s word tells us that...
Integrity provides...
1. Protection - less fear. Psalm 25:21
"May integrity and uprightness," the psalmist said, "protect me because my hope is in you."
2. Security - greater confidence. Proverbs 10:9
"The man of integrity," the proverb writer said, "walks securely."
3. Guidance - better decisions. Proverbs 11:3
"The integrity of the upright guides them."
For a few minutes this morning, I want to talk to you about having integrity where it is needed the most -- the home. There are four things that if you and I were to have integrity with our family with those who are the closest to us, there are four things that you and I need to do.
How can we practice integrity ... at home?
1. Speak honestly. Ephesians 4:15; Proverbs 20:7
Integrity means that we are honest in our speech. Ephesians 4:15 states, "Speak the truth in the spirit of love." Proverbs 20:7: "It is a wonderful heritage to have an honest father."
One of my favorite people to quote is Mark Twain, and he said, "Speaking honestly is better. It takes a lot of stress out of our lives. If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything, but if you don’t tell the truth, you have to remember what you said." That can be a real problem, can’t it? Ephesians 4:15 tells us that we are to speak the truth in the spirit of love. In other words, our honesty must be in the context of love. Haven’t you and I known people that speak truth but don’t speak it with love? They grate on us. We think they have a lot of joy in blasting us. They’re kind of like the Clint Eastwoods of life. "Go ahead, make my day." They can hardly wait to tell us truth. And there’s something about their spirit as they tell us this truth that just doesn’t sit well with us. What they may be saying is true, but the attitude or the spirit in which they say it isn’t clothed with love or kindness, and it certainly isn’t taking the high road. And God’s word tells us to speak truth with the spirit of love.
And the passage I read to you earlier, Proverbs 20:7, says, "It is a wonderful heritage to have an honest father." I think a lot of times, dads think that their kids are impressed with their accomplishments. But if you would ask the children, I think they would say that it’s the character of the father that molds them, not what their father has accomplished. It’s the integrity, the truthfulness, the love. It’s the fruit of the spirit that we’ve been talking about that molds the family.
In fact, I want to say something to you, Dads, if the world never knows you and you never reach a high profession or you never own a business or you never accomplish what the world says you need to accomplish, but if you have loved your kids and have shown the fruit of the spirit to them, and if you’ve been a person of integrity and character, you are already, in your children’s eyes and in the eyes of God, a success. That’s all you need. And you don’t need to try to go up the ladder. It’s sad if in going up the ladder we sacrifice some of the real values we need to exhibit for our own family.
I was just in Orlando, Florida, for a couple days this week speaking to some church leaders. My dad lives in Winterhaven so he came up and sat on the front row and encouraged me. And so when we had lunchtime, I took Dad to lunch with about a half dozen pastors. We were sitting in this restaurant, and they were getting acquainted with Dad. They had asked Dad what he did, and so he was telling them. My father’s been very successful in Christian work. They found out he had been a college president and had planted 40 churches. They found out all these good things. And I’m listening to them as they’re pumping him for information on what he’s done.
Finally, when it kind of subsided a little bit, I said, "Let me tell you something. My dad is great, not because he’s done all those things, but because everything he ever taught from the pulpit, everything he ever preached in a message, everything he ever wrote in a book, he lived out in his life." Such a feeling of warmth came over me as I just told those guys to shut up and listen to me. And I held my dad’s hand right there at that table, as for about 5 minutes I told them what a great Christian man he is. How he lived for us: truth, love, honesty, joy. How, although all those things are all in the Bible and those verses are all good to memorize, we didn’t even need to memorize them because all we had to do was watch Dad live it day in, day out. He walked his talk and talked his walk. When we got done with that lunch, my dad and I walked arm in arm out to the car. And I looked at him and I said, "Dad, I hope there’s a day when Elizabeth and Joel Porter, sometime in their adult life, can sit with me at a table and hold my hand and say that I walked with integrity as a parent, so that they knew how to love God, serve God, and knew how to receive the best that God had for them."
I know I’ve got an awful lot to cover today, and I know I quit covering it a long time ago. But I just stop here long enough to say, that it’s a wonderful thing when as the proverb writer said, we can look at our father and say he’s an honest man. As I looked at this verse in reviewing for this message, I thought to myself, what would happen to the families of America if the fathers were these kind of men? We would not be having all the splintered dysfunctional families if men really were men of God, speaking honestly.
Probably my highlight of this coming summer is the opportunity to speak to Promise Keepers across America. And we have the privilege in June to go into Indiana into the Hoosier Dome and speak to between 35,000 and 40,000 men. And then I have the privilege of going to Colorado at the Boulder and speaking to 55,000 men. What a joy it’s going to be to talk to those guys about being honest dads, men of integrity. But I want to tell you, I don’t want to go to Boulder, Colorado, or to the Hoosier Dome in Indiana, without first of all looking you right in the eye and telling all of us this morning, "Let’s be husbands and fathers of integrity." Amen? Speak honestly.
2. Confess regularly. James 5:16; Matthew 5:23-24
I really like this poem.
"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, when you’re wrong, admit it and when you’re right, shut up."
Don’t you love the depth at which I preach? And when I pull out poetry, I really pull it out, don’t I? James 5:16 says, "Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other." You see, there’s a principle in forgiveness that we don’t talk a lot about, called restitution. We don’t talk about it a lot, because when I ask God to forgive me, he forgives me immediately.
Restitution - if I’ve wronged someone, I need to go to them.
Although I’m forgiven by God,if I’ve done something wrong to someone else, I need to go confess that sin to them.
I remember as I was working on my Bachelor of Theology degree in college, as I began preparing for the ministry, God began showing me things that I needed to fix before I got that diploma. And one of the things he showed me was that I needed to go make restitution to people in the little town where I grew up -- Circleville. I remember the day that I went down to Galliher’s Drugstore on the corner of Court and Main. I needed to go in there and tell the manager of that store that as a sophomore in high school I’d stolen a magazine. I think I walked around the block for a half hour kind of hoping the walls would fall down and maybe I wouldn’t have to make that confession. Finally I gulped and into Galliher’s I went, laid down $5 on the counter and asked the manager for his forgiveness.
I remember the Lord impressed upon me not only did I need to make restitution but I also needed to tell them why I was making restitution. Because I was a Christian and was going to be a pastor. I wanted to be a man of God and I didn’t ever want to preach to my people about integrity or an issue like this without saying, "I know there, I’ve been there, I’ve done that."
From there, I went to Mr. Pauls’ Grocery Store there. He’d known me all my life, and I had to admit to him that several years earlier three buddies and I went in and stole a Dr. Pepper out of his store. And I said, "Now, I want to talk to you about the Dr. Pepper I took, ask your forgiveness and pay you for not only mine, but the other three guys’." I knew them. I didn’t figure they’d ever be back. I remember going to Boyer’s Hardware where I worked over a summer. I know you’re thinking, "Man, this pastor is a terrible sinner." This is true confession time. Let me sit down and tell you about my life, go through a little therapy here. I’d worked for a summer at Boyer’s Hardware Store. And at times I’d go home and, you know, I’d have a pen in my pocket from the store. I’d remember taking a tape measure and about five or six other things. So I went back to Mr. Boyer and said, "Hey, these aren’t mine. They’ve been laying around the house, but they’re not mine. They’re yours. And I took them."
I remember going back to my high school coach. I had a gym bag full of stuff that I had taken. I played ball throughout high school. And I remember walking in there and sitting down in the locker room with him and pulling out jerseys, shorts, shoes -- big bag. "They’re not mine. I’m sorry. I took them. Will you forgive me?" Six years later, when I was pastoring, I had the privilege of having that same basketball coach look me up, walk into my office one day, sit down on my sofa, look me in the eye and say, "John, do you remember when you brought that stuff back you’d taken in high school? I’ve never gotten away from it." And that day I had the privilege of leading him to Jesus Christ.
Now I can honestly say I don’t know of anybody anywhere that I’ve wronged, that I’ve not gone to and asked forgiveness. And I can still remember the struggle of asking forgiveness. Whether it was a small item or a big item it sure seemed all big to me. But when I got done I could sing the old hymn, "Nothing between my soul and the Savior."
God’s word tells us in Matthew that if you’ve got something unresolved out there, you’re to literally leave the altar and go find that person and ask forgiveness. Then Jesus said, "Come back and lay your gift on the altar." You see, he can’t bless it until we’ve cleaned it up.
3. Live consistently. Matthew 7:21-23
We are to be consistent in our
A. Public life as well as our private life.
Jesus said, "Take care and do not do your public deeds to be admired." What it means very simply is this: I am the same at home as I am here. That’s what it means. In fact, my definition of success is, "Those who are the closest to me, love and respect me the most."
Now, I want you to love and respect me. And I think you do. I love and respect you. We’ve traveled together for 13 years. It’s been a great journey. And when I travel and I speak at conferences, I want them to love me and respect me and admire me. But I want to tell you something, the ones I want to love and respect me the most aren’t the people in Orlando, Florida, and the people here in this auditorium. But if I look back about four rows on the left this morning, there sit my daughter Elizabeth and my wife Margaret -- only God knows where my son, Joel Porter is. I want to tell you something, when I come home, the person I want to love and respect me the most is the lady that I’ve been married to for almost 25 years.
And I want to tell you something, on Sunday when you say "Good message," I really appreciate those nice compliments, but when I go home and Margaret looks me in the eye and says, "John, that was a great message. What you said and what you live is the same," that’s worth all the other compliments in the world. When Joel Porter was younger, every Saturday night when I’d pray with him, he’d say, "Now, Dad, are you going to tell them this story about me?" And he’d always want me to tell you stories about him. But when I prayed with Elizabeth, she’d say, "Oh, God, help Dad not to embarrass himself tomorrow." But I believe success is when those who love you the most are those who are closest to you. You know, there’s something wrong when the people who know you the best respect you the least. There’s something that doesn’t fit.
What would it profit me if I built a big church and lose my own family? What would it profit any of us if we climbed the ladder and lost the people that God gave us accountability for -- those who are closest to us?
In fact, let me read you a passage from the Message by Eugene Peterson. If you do not have this beautiful translation of the New Testament, I’m encouraging you to get it. It is absolutely awesome. In fact, I’ll read it here today to whet your appetite. Now Matthew 7:21-23 is the passage where, "Not everyone who says, ’Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven." Listen to how Eugene Peterson translates this:
"Knowing the correct password - saying, ’Master, Master,’ for instance - isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience - doing what the Father wills. I can see it now - at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me saying, `Master, we preached the message, we bashed the demons, our God sponsored projects had everybody talking.’ And do you know what I’m going to say? ’You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’" Whoa! That says it all, doesn’t it? Our words and our actions are the same.
4. Commit boldly. Isaiah 45:19; Romans 10:9; Psalm 101:2
In other words, we make statements with our mouths that we follow up with our life. We fulfill our promises, our word is our bond.
Kindness...
Okay. Let’s talk about kindness for just a moment. One day a man came up to Jesus and asked him what the most important commandment was. And we know what that commandment was. Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your mind, heart, soul, and strength, and your neighbor as yourself." Do you know what Jesus was saying? He was saying that nothing matters more than relationships; in fact, he was saying something like this: "If your relationship with others is not right, then nothing is going to be right." You see,
God’s word teaches us that
success in life + failure at relationships = failure.
The moment that you and I fail in our relationships no matter how "successful" we have been, we truly are a failure. God’s word tells us, "By these things shall all men know that you love me" What things? By our love. Not by the Bible study that we attend, but by our love for one another.
I love the passage, "Jesus is the kindness of God." Titus 3:4
How is Jesus kind to me?
1. He understands my weakness. Hebrews 4:15-16; Galatians 6:1-2
He understands all about me. He knows me well. And he understands my weakness. Look at the Hebrews passage: "Jesus understands our weaknesses, since he had the same temptations that we do, though he never once gave way to them in sin. So let us come boldly to him and find grace to help us in our times of need." We’re to be kind like Christ. "If someone is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back into the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong. Share each others troubles and problems." I’m moved when I realize that Jesus knows all about me and he’s still kind to me. He loves me.
2. He tells me the truth. Proverbs 24:26
He is kind enough to me that he’s willing to tell me the truth about who I am. Jesus said, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." You say, "John, I thought Jesus loved me just as I am." He does. But he loves you and me so much and he’s so kind to us that he’s not willing for us to stay just as we are. He wants us to move in our spiritual development and in our growth.
One of the reasons I know that the Bible is the inspired word of God is because of how the Bible presents the heroes in the word. The Bible is honest and has enough integrity regarding David, a man after God’s own heart, to show us that he also committed adultery. Moses, the greatest leader of the Old Testament, in a rash of impatience, got ahead of God and literally lost the best of the Promised Land. And the Bible is honest enough to let us see him in this way.
The Lord wants me to be kind in my own relationships, but he wants me to tell truth in those relationships. Can I tell you something? You don’t have a good relationship if truth is not the core of it. I know husbands and wives that never tell the truth to each other. They skip around the real issues. They skirt around them. I suppose the reason that we have a hard time telling truth because we are fearful of what will happen if we tell the truth. We may lose our job. We may lose our spouse. And so, therefore, it is tempting for us, instead of telling the truth, to somehow back away from it and skirt the truth.
If I go to the doctor and they test me and if I’ve got cancer, my doctor doesn’t help me one bit if, instead of saying, "Let’s go to the hospital and let’s do surgery immediately and can fix this" he looks at me and says, "Don’t worry, be happy." He’s just failed me. And there are times when in our kindness to one another we must confront one another. We must be honest and truthful with one another. I love the fact that it goes together. You do it with kindness, but you do it with truth also.
3. Jesus forgives my sin. Romans 3:23,24; Ephesians 1:4; 3:32
He shows his kindness to me in his willingness to forgive me for what I’ve done. Many people have what I call a wrong concept of God. They don’t see God as kind.
They kind of see God like the fellow does who was driving his car up to his mountain home. And as he’s driving up the mountain, he runs out of gas. And so he leaves the car to go get some. While he’s doing that, somebody comes and hits his car and knocks it over the cliff. And so now he has to walk to the cabin. It begins to snow and sleet and he catches cold. After several hours, as he finally comes over the hill and sees his cabin, lightning strikes it and it burns to the ground. He’s beating his head on the tree and saying, "Why me, God? Why me?" And the clouds part and a voice out of heaven says, "Because some people just tick me off." There are people that have this concept of God that somehow he’s a cosmic killjoy and is up there just waiting to slap your hand. And he can hardly wait for you to mess something up so he can come along and let you have it.
Once in awhile I’ll have someone say they don’t believe in God. And I never get defensive about that. I just smile and say, "Well, tell me about the God you don’t believe in." And they’ll begin to tell me about some God that has seemingly harmed them or hurt them. And after they get done, I’ll look at them and say, "I don’t believe in that God either."
I want to tell you something in what I know about God this morning. Listen to me very carefully. God is your best friend. And 2000 years ago he wanted us to have a good picture of him, and he wanted it so much that he was willing to give up his only son Jesus Christ to come into this earth so that we could see his life and hear his words and follow his steps and have a good picture of what kind of God he is.
And I want to say this to you, the moment you see a picture of Jesus Christ, you see a picture of kindness. Look with me at Romans 3:23,24: "All of us have sinned, yet now God declares us not guilty of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ who, in his kindness, freely takes away our sins." Look at the passage in Ephesians 1:4: "Through what Christ would do for us, God decided to make us holy in his eyes. Without a single fault we stand before him covered with his love." And because Jesus is so kind to us, we’re to be kind to others like he is.
4. Jesus affirms my worth. Ps. 139:16,17; Rom. 5:8; 15:7;
I Pet. 1:18,19; 2:17; I Thess. 5:11; Heb 10:24
When I understand God’s incredible love for me, it increases my value. He affirms my worth. He let’s me know that I am a person of value.
Let me read a recent interview with Madonna. Here’s what she said. You talk about low self worth. And listen to this. Madonna said, "I have an iron will, and all of my will has always been devoted to conquering some horrible feeling of inadequacy. I’m always struggling with that fear. I’ve pushed past one spell of it and I discover myself as kind of a special human being. And then I get to another stage and I think I’m mediocre and uninteresting again and I find a way to get myself out of that again and again. And my drive in life is from this horrible fear of being inadequate and then accepted. I’m always pushing me, pushing me. Because even though I’ve become somebody, I still have to prove that I am somebody. My struggle has never ended and it probably never will."
Madonna was right in that last statement, "My struggle has never ended and it probably never will." Do you know why? She doesn’t see herself in the eyes of God.
CONCLUSION
Listen to Isaiah 49:16, Jesus said, ”I have engraved you in the palms of my hands." When you and I get to heaven, if we want to stand before our Lord and we want to ask Jesus the question: "Am I valuable to you, Jesus?" He’ll tell us. And when we ask Jesus what our self worth is to him, he’ll just hold out his nail scarred hands, and he’ll say, "I’ll tell you how valuable you were. You were so valuable that I died for your sins."
Psychologists tell us that we get our self worth from looking through the eyes of the person that we most love and most value. And if that person that we love and value highly loves us, then our worth begins to grow. And if he or she doesn’t, then our worth begins to diminish. As I’ve talked about kindness and integrity this morning, look at yourself not from what your background is, not from who your parents are, not from the things you’ve done in your past, good or bad, this morning, look at yourself through the eyes of God, who loved us so much that he sent his only son, Jesus Christ into the world that whoever would believe should not perish but have everlasting life. God is your best friend. Amen? Your best friend.
