Trinity Baptist Church July 30, 2006
Character on Display
The Freedom of Forgiveness
Genesis 50:15-21
Packed away, near a town in the state of Washington, are millions of gallons of radioactive atomic wastes, stored in huge numbers of underground tanks. The tanks have a life expectancy of 20 or 30 years. The radioactive waste inside will be deadly for about
-- 600 years.
Just like those tanks of waste, our human wisdom will suggest to us that we can pack and store away -- and never fully deal with -- the pain and hurts others have done to us. And, of course, sooner or later, the stored up offenses and hurts will begin to break out -- and when they do, there will be pain, damage and bitterness for many, many people.
We’re finishing our study today from the life of Joseph in the Old Testament. We’ve called this portrait of Joseph’s life, “Character on Display” -- in part, because the Bible has practically nothing negative to record about this man. That doesn’t say that he was perfect, by any means; it does mean that he offers a pattern of what it looks like to walk with God, to trust God in the toughest of times, and to allow God to do whatever He purposes to do in building our character.
If you’ve been with us, or if you know Joseph’s story, you know that his family background wasn’t healthy by a long stretch. In our first study, I suggested to you that God removed him from his dysfunctional home and family in order to do some major work in Joseph’s character.
Much of the pain in Joseph’s life came from his brothers. When he was about 17 years old, they glibly decided they would kill him. No longer could they stand their father treating him specially; no longer could they handle that his two dreams pointed to a day when he would rule over them.
Let’s remember some of what his brothers inflicted on him. They sold him like a piece of furniture to traders headed to Egypt. With that act, he was forcibly taken from his father, his home, and everything familiar. Sent to Egypt with those strangers, he was sold off to be a slave. He worked hard and well, but when his owner’s wife took an interest in him, Joseph was falsely accused and, without trial or appeal, he was thrown into prison. He sat in that dungeon for about 13 years. One of Pharaoh’s servants, whom Joseph helped understand a dream, could have helped him, but the man forgot him as soon as he got out of prison.
More than once, we’ve realized that if anyone is justified in taking revenge; if anyone deserves to hang on to a heavy dose of bitterness; if anyone’s life should be driven by deep hatred and a desire to get even: it’s Joseph.
After all, it’s in human terms that we most often judge these things, isn’t it?
Every time we start discussing biblical forgiveness, someone will say,
“you don’t understand” or
“you don’t know what I’ve been through;” or
“you don’t know what he did to me.”
So, in purely human terms, we seem to believe it’s fine and dandy to forgive others, as long as the offense was small -- or there was some justification for the other person’s actions, or, it was someone we hardly knew. But when it was a father, or mother, or brother who hurt us…. When it was a person I trusted, someone I thought was a friend, who did the damage…. And when it was intentional, pre-meditated, and deeply personal and hurtful, then forget it! That person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. They should suffer like I did!
Human wisdom repeats some familiar phrases: “Don’t get mad, get even.” Or, “the sweetest thing in all in life is revenge.” Or, a little more subtle: “Never forget where you buried the hatchet!”
From everything we’ve observed, Joseph ought to be at the front of the line of the “non-forgivers” of Scripture. The moment his brothers showed their faces in Egypt to buy food, they should have lost their heads. But, of course, they didn’t. We’ve watched
Joseph take a very different course of action.
There are two explanations embedded in his story: One is he walked with God. The other is God built character into Joseph which resembled God’s own. We need so much to remember, God is out to do an identical work in you and me.
Today, as we finish his account, let’s learn something about biblical forgiveness from God’s man, Joseph. First, we’ll look at the narrative in these verses in chapter 50, and then we’ll review some principles of forgiveness.
Let’s begin again at verse 15.
First observation:
1. Joseph reacts in sorrow to his brothers‘ message. (50:15-17)
Chapter 50, verse 15:
When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him.”
So they sent a message to Joseph saying, “Your father charged before he died, saying, ‘Thus you shall say to Joseph, “Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong.”’ And now please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.
The brothers figure it was just for the sake of their father that Joseph had held back all these years. Now, he might let his human urges take control. Now they will finally have to pay for their sin. There are two problems with the brothers. With Jacob dead, two things come to the surface in their thinking. One is obviously guilt, something with which they’ve never fully dealt. They’re still battling the guilty consciences they had for plotting his death and then selling him into Egypt. They’re plagued with feelings of guilt.
The other problem is they never accepted the reality of Joseph’s forgiveness.
It’s just like what often happens in our relationship with God. We have Scripture’s solid assurance that God fully and finally forgives all our sin because of Jesus Christ; yet, so often, we still stew and fret and worry over “has He really?” And we live accordingly.
Look at what they resort to, based on those issues. First, they won’t come see Joseph themselves, they send a message -- or, as some versions say, they send a messenger. One commentator said, maybe they sent Benjamin. They’re full of fear, so they put distance in the relationship, they use a “go-between“.
The greater problem is the content of their message: they resort to what is most likely a bald-faced lie. They quote their dead father and make him say something he probably never said. They appeal to Joseph’s emotions while he’s still grieving his father’s death with these supposed words of his. Your father charged, before he died!…..
Joseph weeps as the words are spoken. Joseph responds as he has more than once in these chapters. The tears flow. He’s crying, maybe because they feel they have to lie. We know, he spent time with his dad before he died, when he blessed Joseph’s two sons; something of this magnitude never crossed Jacob’s lips.
He’s more likely crying because they’ve never believed him. They’ve never trusted him. They’ve assumed the worst about him. “Now that our father’s dead, now he’ll take revenge!!” That’s their opinion of his kindness, mercy, grace and forgiveness. Again, a lot like how we respond to God’s kindness, mercy, grace and forgiveness. We’re often still out there, trying to earn it, trying to perform for Him or do penance for some sin which God Himself, long ago, wiped away -- sin, which God alone can wipe away.
Joseph weeps for them.
Secondly -- and every one of us needs to learn this lesson about forgiveness.
2. Joseph refuses to play God by taking revenge.
(50:19)
Hear what he says in just six words in verse 19. "…for am I in God’s place?" You understand that? He’s saying, “if I would stoop now to get revenge, I would be assuming the role of God in your lives.” The Bible says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
The apostle writes in Romans 12, "leave room for the vengeance of God." In other words, when we take it upon ourselves to play God, to take revenge on people who’ve hurt us, then apparently God does not.
What’s the principle Joseph is illustrating? Just this: only God can look into the heart and motives of the person who hurt me and deal appropriately with him. Only God can see the “why’s” and the “wherefore’s” of the intents and motives of Joseph’s brothers. And only God can therefore measure out appropriately what must happen in their lives.
He might decide on justice. God’s movement may be swift and harsh judgment. The Bible provides us with examples of people who receive that kind of response from God.
It may be that God will work overtime on someone’s heart, using their consciences, or pressing in on them by means of His Holy Spirit, and thereby bringing them to repentance.
It could be that God will allow someone to go a life long without ever coming to the place of knowing the kind of pain and hurt they have inflicted on others. But one thing is certain: in eternity, they will know. God will make all things right.
The Bible calls Him, "the judge of all the Earth"; and it asks us, "shall He not do right?"
Joseph has it figured out: So he presents us the principle: don’t take on God’s role in someone else’s life. He will continue down the path of extending mercy and forgiveness.
Third, in his response,
3. Joseph repeats God’s purpose despite their intent. (50:20)
Last week I read to you the half dozen times in these chapters where Joseph announces again and again to his brothers that God was operating behind the scenes. The best known of those is here in this passage: verse 20.
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive."
In the context of that final reminder of God’s great capacity and power to turn evil things on their head, Joseph doesn’t overlook what his brothers did. He says it plainly: You meant it for evil. That really happened, there’s no getting around that. And we need to understand this:
Biblical forgiveness doesn’t minimize sin.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean we are to simply sweep sin under the rug, and ignore its reality and the pain and evil it causes. Forgiveness means I release people to God, and that I no long hold the right to take revenge.
There’s another point we need to be clear about. Neither Joseph nor the rest of Scripture offers us the idea that evil comes from God. That’s not what Joseph is saying. Scripture tells us quite the opposite. James, for instance, says, God is not tempted by evil, nor does He tempt any man. The Bible says, God is not the author of sin. He has no part in any evil that is done, like in what these brothers did.
You need to know that God was present with you when evil was perpetrated on you, but God did not plan it or approve of it. But sin, having been committed, is never done outside of the careful sovereign control of God. Even things which are absolutely hideous, like the abuse of a child, God can and will weave into the pattern of His overall divine purpose.
People have often said, we see life as if we’re looking at the bottom side of a tapestry or needlepoint project. We see threads, knots and tangles; but on the top side, God patterns every detail into good things. That’s His promise to believers who walk with Him.
And Joseph never lost that clarity because, as the text has told us God was with Him. It has been apparent that mentally -- purposefully -- Joseph set God before His eyes -- he trusted Him, he knew Him, he refused to give in to the idea that God could not take care of him in the worst circumstances imaginable. And God did. And so Joseph can rejoice in all that God did to do what He planned long in advance to do.
Because of what he knows is true about God,
4. Joseph responds to them with compassion. (50:19, 21)
Look at his behavior. He weeps. He calls them to himself. In verse 19, he speaks to them with words of tender endearment. Instead of their human tendency, he says "do not be afraid". He’s encouraging them not to fear him because there is no reason to fear him.
Because of the goodness of God, and God’s good purpose in verse 20, he says in verse 21, "therefore, do not be afraid." There it is again. But there’s more.
"I will provide for you and your little ones. And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them." The same thing happened in our passage last time when he revealed himself to them.
This is a man who has not inkling of moving against them, so he encourages his brothers and tries to comfort them.
There is a clear, discernible spirit of forgiveness and grace in this man and you can see it in his tender heart. He goes further than simply forgiving them, he takes steps toward reconciliation of their relationship; that’s the upshot of his actions and loving words, his sensitivity and tenderness.
We’ve talked about how God broke Joseph’s heart. This is very likely an overflow of that brokenness before God. It’s a reflection of what Joseph has come to know about God.
When you grasp God’s heart toward you, you begin to display His character toward others.
And again, this is so against the flow of our human emotions and desires. We think “getting back” or holding a grudge is going to do something good; it’s going to even the score or make another person realize the hurt and pain they’ve caused us. In most cases, that never happens. In most cases, un-forgiveness and keeping lists, keeping score, and holding alive the memories of what others did to us hurts one person only. The one who refuses to practice biblical forgiveness.
Let me mention a few
Principles of forgiveness
These might answer some questions that linger in your mind. First,
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation.
You can fully and effectively practice biblical forgiveness toward someone without ever being able to reconcile the relationship. Romans 12 says, in as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. In this life, it is simply not possible to reconcile with everyone. There are people who refuse to reconcile, there are people who have died, there are people who may never even realize they have hurt you. The point of forgiveness is, that before God, you decide as an act of obedience to forgive them. Then, you simply do it, no matter what they do.
Secondly,
Forgiveness flows from God’s forgiveness toward us.
Colossians 3 says, forgive one another as God as forgiven you. There is no comparison between my sin and offenses toward God and the offenses others will ever inflict on me. Biblical forgiveness always rests on the foundation of God having freely forgiven us in Jesus Christ. He therefore urges us to practice forgiveness.
Third, Forgiveness is not giving up justice, or punishment, it is turning people over to God.
It’s letting the offender off your hook and letting God deal with them. It doesn’t mean they’re off God’s hook.
Peter said about Jesus, Who being reviled, did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.
Finally, fourth; and this is the greatest encouragement for us to practice biblical forgiveness.
Forgiveness brings freedom.
Freedom, from the heavy burden of re-counting the sin, the hurt, remembering the details and the pain. And freedom from bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says, see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; and that no root of bitterness, springing up, cause trouble and by it many be defiled.
Do you want to freedom? Will you begin to release people from your list of offenders? Will you begin to allow God handle them?
Steps I need to take
If this is where you are today, if it’s your conviction and desire, to begin the process of forgiving biblically, let me give you just a few steps in dealing very personally and practically with this issue.
First, identify the specific people and hurts inflicted. List their names and offenses. Ask God to bring to your mind any additional people you’ve been holding onto with un-forgiveness.
Secondly, before God, work through each name and offense. Admit aloud to God the hurt and even the emotions of hatred or anger you’ve held toward the person.
Third, as an act of your heart and will, release each person and each offense that comes to mind about that person. Aloud, honestly, and clearly before God, say something like, “Father, I forgive ___________ for _____________." Speak their name. Speak the hurt you felt. Remember it as it was and as you experienced it.
Then, clearly and pointedly, pray one at a time over each name, “Father I release this person to You.”
Don’t be vague; don’t say something like “Lord I want to forgive”. Be concrete and specific. Stay with each individual until you are sure you’ve dealt with him and with the pain you remember. This is for your benefit, so continue until you know it’s finished.
Finally, claim God’s peace and freedom. Again, aloud, thank God, and say, “Father, I now claim the peace and freedom You will give me; I leave this offense to you; I trust you with it; I am willing to live with the consequences left over in my life and I trust Your Promise to work them out for good. I will not use these sins against these people, though memories may remain. Help me to use any memories to remember the price Jesus Christ paid for my redemption. Thank you
for the grace to release them, as you released me.”
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Let’s pray.
