FATHERS
Introduction:
Today is celebrated in this country as Father’s Day. A day when we honor those men who helped give us life and have nurtured us through life. As a church member, I have always had a pet peeve concerning Father’s Day. On Mother’s Day, the preacher gets up and praises all the mothers, placing them high upon pedestals, and attributing to them no wrong, which is fine, they deserve it. But on Father’s Day, the preacher gets up and tells all us Fathers that we need to be better fathers, and then proceeds to point out all the ways we fall short.
There are other differences between Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. On Mother’s Day almost all the children in this country call their mothers. On Father’s Day, almost all the children in this country call their fathers...collect! A small boy said, “Father’s Day is just like Mother’s Day, only you don’t spend as much on the gift, and I say, “what gift?”
I believe that fathers do not get the respect they deserve. Some modern day women believe the only thing a man is good for is to help them make a baby and then he is of no further use. And in this day of medical technology, even that role has been diminished.
Even those men with families are not always honored and respected for the contributions they make to the family. Perry Koehn went to the doctor the other day and the doctor told him, “Perry, you are in terrible shape and you have got to do something about it. First tell Debbie to cook more nutritious meals. Then tell her that you’re going to make a budget and she has to stick to it. And tell her to keep the kids off your back so you can relax. Finally, you need to stop working like a dog. Unless there are some changes in your life, you’ll probably be dead in a month.”
Perry then told the doctor, “This would sound more official if it came from you. Could you please call Debbie at home and give her those instructions?” The doctor agreed that he would call Debbie. When Perry got home from the doctor’s office, Debbie rushed to him, “Oh Perry, I talked to the doctor. Poor man, you only have 30 days to live.”
This morning I am going to do my best to honor the fathers of this congregation instead of chastising them to be better fathers. Can we as Christian fathers be better? Of Course. But that is for another day. Today I want to look at Scripture and honor the fathers of this
congregation through that Scripture.
GOD’S ROLE FOR THE FATHER.
God has several roles for the father.
1. The father is to be the leader of his family.
After the three men told Abraham and Sarah that they would be parents, they then started to leave and go to Sodom. As they left, one said,
“I have chosen him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice.”
Command is a word that we sometimes shy away from because it is so open to abuse. However, God has placed the man in a position of responsibility in the family. Remember that even though Eve sinned first, Adam was ultimately held responsible. In the Bible, that incident is always referred to as “Adam’s sin.” God holds the father responsible for the faithfulness of his children. Because God gives fathers responsibility, he also gives them the authority of command. Joshua exercised that role that God gave him when he told the people of Israel in Joshua 24:15, “Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we WILL serve the Lord. For Joshua’s family there was no doubt whom they would serve.
2. The father is to be the instructor of his family.
In that well known passage in Eph. 6:3 we are told, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” I believe that we have spent too much time cautioning fathers against provoking their children and far too little time emphasizing the second half of that verse in which the fathers are encouraged to teach their children about God.
And in regard to that, children are commanded to listen. In Prov. 4:1, the writer said, “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding.” Isn’t it amazing how our father’s knowledge increases or diminishes depending on how old we are.
The writer of Proverbs says if we properly instruct our children, we can reasonably expect a certain outcome. Prov. 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Now that is a passage that has caused all of us fathers many sleepless nights. We need to understand that this is a general statement that has a LOT of exceptions. Just because we are good parents does not mean that our children will always “go the way he should go.”
Even in the Bible a number of great fathers had children that went wrong. For instance, Samuel, one of Israel’s greatest prophets, was the father of Joel and Abijah whom Samuel appointed as judges over Israel. But unlike Samuel, Joel and Abijah “turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice.” (I Sam. 8:3) There are many other examples in the Bible of good fathers who had bad offspring.
But the principle stated in Prov. 22:6 is generally true. If we teach our children about God while they are young, they are more likely to follow God as adults. However, we have to remember that, like us, our children have the freedom of choice and they do not always make the right choices, in spite of the teaching they received at home.
By the way, bringing a child to church and Bible class on Sunday morning is not enough. The father (and mother) have the responsibility to teach their children at home.
Some years ago during the days of the church bus ministry, a father told his son one Sunday morning, “You better get ready. The bus will be here in a minute to pick you up and take you to Sunday School.” The boy asked, “Did you go to Sunday School when you were a boy?” The father replied, “Yes I did.” The boy then said, “It probably won’t do me any good either.”
3. The father is to be the disciplinarian to his family.
God expects the father to discipline his children as God disciplines us. The writer of Hebrews in 12:5-11 says . . .
God believes in discipline so much that he made the evidence of discipline in the family one of the qualifications for elders. “An overseer...must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” (I Tim. 3:4)
4. The father is to love his children. This love is expressed by the father by:
A. Showing compassion to his children.
The psalmist in Psalm 103 compares the compassion of God with the compassion of a father. “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” (Ps. 103:8,13)
In his compassion a father will carry (support) his children. Just before the nation of Israel crossed over the Jordan River into the promised land, God through Moses told them in Deut 1:31, “The Lord your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked, until you came to this place.”
B. Giving gifts to his children.
We may give gifts to our fathers today but our fathers give gifts to us every day of the year. Jesus said in Luke 11:11-13, “Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
C. Providing for his children.
Paul said in II Cor.
12:14, “...children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.”
Paul makes an even stronger statement concerning providing for one’s family in I Tim. 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.”
D. Disciplining his children.
Again in Hebrews 12 we are told that discipline is an expression of love. “For those whom the Lord lives, He disciplines.” As it is with our heavenly father, so it is with earthly fathers.
Leadership, instruction, discipline and love. These are four of the roles that God has established for the father. Well how do the men in this congregation stack up? Let’s take a look.
1. Look at the number of fathers that are here today WITH their wives and children. They did not send them to church, they brought them to church. What better example of leadership can you have than that.
2. Look at the men in this congregation who are now leaders: elders, deacons, ministers, song leaders, Bible class teachers, and worship service leaders. Where did they learn to be Christians and leaders themselves. I suspect that the leadership of their fathers played a big role.
3. Look at the number of children in this church who live in their parents home and are old enough to respond, who are Christians. I wonder what inspired them to make that decision. Sure, their Bible class teacher had a part. Also we must never diminish the role of the mother in bringing her children to Christ. But how many of them and how many of us today are Christians because of the example and teaching of a loving father?
4. Look at the various manifestations of fatherly love that we see around us.
A. Most of the families here this morning live in a comfortable home, have
plenty of food and clothing because of the hard work of the fathers who provide physically and financially for their families.
B. The children in this church sit quietly, most of the time, and are obviously in subjection, most of the time, to their parents. Where did they learn that level of respect and obedience? From loving fathers and mothers who loved their children enough to discipline them.
C. Observe the obvious affection of fathers for their children and children for their fathers. What better reflection of a loving home.
When we look at the roles that God has established for the father and we examine the fathers of this congregation, I think they stand up pretty well. Speaking of standing up, I would like all the fathers in the congregation this morning to stand up. I believe they deserve a round of applause.
Of course the greatest example of fatherhood is our heavenly father who loved us enough to send his son to die for us that we might have the hope of eternal life.
