Have you ever done something you later regretted; (or) have you missed an opportunity that you later regretted; (or) have you said something you later regretted? All of us know the pain of regrets. For some it could be the regret of a broken marriage. For some it could be the regret of an abortion. For some it could be the regret of a painful relationship. For some it could be the regret of a missed opportunity. For some it could be the regret of something you did. For some it could be the regret of something you said.
Illustration: Living above regrets is a worthy goal. “In 1904 William Borden, heir to the Borden Dairy Estate, graduated from a Chicago high school. His parents gave him a trip around the world. Traveling through Asia, the Middle East and Europe gave Borden a burden for the world’s hurting people. Writing home, he said, ‘I’m going to give my life to prepare for the mission field.’ When he made this decision, he wrote in the back of his Bible two words: No Reserves. Turning down high paying job offers, after graduation from Yale University, he entered two more words in his Bible: No Retreats. Completing studies at Princeton Seminary, Borden sailed for China to work with Muslims, stopping first at Egypt for some preparation. While there he was stricken with cerebral meningitis and died within a month. A waste, you say! Not in God’s plan. In his Bible underneath the words No Reserves and No Retreats, he had written the words No Regrets. (Daily Bread, December 31, 1988. Contributed to Sermon Central by Mark Brunner)
All of us would like to live as William Borden. However, the truth is most of us have regrets that we must work through. The important issue is not our regrets. The important issue is moving beyond our regrets. How do you do it? Where do you start? What do you do? The Bible gives us help with this subject! Look at Philippians 3. “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.” (vs. 13-15 NKJV)
If anyone had reason for regrets it was Paul. Before his conversion to Christ he had been a persecutor of the church. He had stood passively by while Stephen was stoned to death. He had been a thorn in the side of the early church. However, he came to faith in Christ and moved beyond his regrets. How did he do it? Paul teaches us three valuable lessons that helped him move beyond regret.
1. Lesson one: if you want to move beyond regret you must exercise Faith. In order for faith to benefit it must be exercised. Does an exercise program benefit if it is not carried out? Even so, faith does not benefit unless it is exercised.
A. Faith offers the possibility of a new start. Paul was given a fresh start by God. The Bible says “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (II Cor. 5:17; NKJV)
Illustration: It has been said “Though no one can go back and make a new beginning - anyone can start from now and make a brand new end.” (Carl Brand; Contributed by SermonCentral)
Illustration: I experienced a new beginning (of sorts) a few months ago. I had purchased a set of shelves from Home Depot. Assembly of the shelves seemed to be an easy task. I decided that I would not need instructions. After getting the shelves assembled I noticed that some shelves had an edge on the front while others did not. Obviously I had not assembled the shelves properly. In that moment I took the shelves apart and started over. The second time I used the instruction sheet. Life is like that. Many times we try working through problems, only to realize things did not turn out properly. It helps to go back to the instruction manual (God’s word) and start over. The beautiful part is that God gives us an opportunity to start over.
B. Faith offers us the possibility of a new start. However, it also offers us the possibility of being forgiven for our sins, mistakes and failures. There are some wonderful promises in the Bible concerning forgiveness. One of my favorites is found in Ps. 103:12. “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (NKJV)
2. Lesson two: if you want to move beyond regret you must learn to Forget. Those of us who are over fifty know the frustration of forgetting things. In our situation forgetfulness is frustrating. However, there are times when forgetfulness is a positive thing. All of us have experiences we would like to leave behind.
Illustration: Consider the story of Rev. A.J. Jones. The following series of advertisements reportedly appeared in a daily newspaper:
Monday: "The Rev. A.J. Jones has one color TV set for sale. Telephone 626-1313 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who lives with him, cheap."
Tuesday: "We regret any embarrassment caused to Rev. Jones by a typographical error in yesterday’s paper. The ad should have read: ’The Rev. A.J. Jones has one color TV set for sale, cheap...Telephone 626-1313 and ask for Mrs. Donnelley, who lives with him after 7 p.m.’"
Wednesday: "The Rev. A.J. Jones informs us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of an incorrect ad in yesterday’s paper. It should have read: ’The Rev. A.J. Jones has one color TV set for sale, cheap. Telephone 626-1313 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who loves with him.’"
Thursday: "Please take notice that I, the Rev. A.J. Jones, have no color TV set for sale; I have smashed it. Don’t call 626-1313 anymore. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Donnelley. She was, until yesterday, my housekeeper.’"
Obviously Rev. Jones wanted to move beyond that episode. (SOURCE: First United Methodist Church, Meadville, PA. Content, The Newsletter, August, 1990, p. 3. Contributed to Sermon Central by David Yarbrough)
In discussing the concept of forgetting there are two areas I want to mention.
A. We should forget the past. Paul tells us “one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” Our past can be a ghost that haunts us or a nightmare that sticks with us. No matter what the situation, we should move beyond it. This is not referring to the person who lives without a conscience. Some people have no remorse for their sins and shortcomings.
Illustration: I read about a boy who broke a dish, and went to his mother and said, “Mother, I did it, and I’m sorry. And I hope this will be the end of the matter.” This little guy wanted to avoid the consequences of his ways. In encouraging forgetfulness we are referring to the person who has dealt with his sin and seeks God’s forgiveness in a sincere way. In such situations God wants you to forget the past and move beyond your regrets. He wants to give you a new start.
Illustration: Consider Charles Colson, the aide to Richard Nixon who was sent to jail for Watergate. As a result of his experience as a convicted felon, Colson founded Prison Fellowship, now the world’s largest Christian outreach to prisoners and their families. Prison Fellowship has more than 50,000 volunteers working in hundreds of prisons in 88 countries around the world. A ministry that has blessed millions of people got started twenty-five years ago because Charles Colson committed a crime. God’s eternal purposes for that man included even the sin that sent him to prison. It was a part of God’s plan from the very beginning.
But the story that matters most to you isn’t Peter’s, or Paul’s, or even Charles Colson’s. It’s yours. And what I want to say to you this morning is that the story of your life has not been ruined, not by your sin or anyone else’s. God’s good plan for your life is not buried under the mistakes of the past. God has a plan for your life, a good plan, a wise plan, a loving plan, a sovereign plan, and that plan is still in effect. You haven’t missed it. He is working out that plan in your life right now, today. Will you believe that? And will you renew your commitment this morning to seeking God, and following Him, and serving Him with your whole heart; free of the past, no longer weighed down by regret?
(SOURCE: Alan Perkins in "Getting Past Your Past." www.sermoncentral.com/sermon.asp?SermonID=34927&ContributorID=5916 ; Contributed to Sermon Central by SermonCentral)
I think we need to be reminded that none of us can avoid regrets. All of us have made bad choices. All of us have disobeyed God. All of us have the taint of sin in our lives. All of us are influenced by Satan’s attacks. The important thing is to deal with our past, ask God’s forgiveness and move on with our lives as we seek to serve the Lord Jesus.
B. We should forget our past but also forget our failures. Our failures are in the past, so there is a sense in which dealing with the past deals with our failures. However, failure is a unique breed (all its own). Failure is something that tends to track us like a vicious animal. Failure can be both good and bad. John Maxwell has written a book entitled “Failing Forward.” This book emphasizes that failure can be positive. When we fail we must fail forward. We must be careful to avoid failing backwards. To fail backward is to fall into destructive failure. In the Bible we see many saints who failed.
- After coming off of the ark Noah got drunk.
- After founding the Israelite nation Abraham lied.
- After being chosen as the king of Israel David committed adultery.
- After building the temple in Jerusalem Soloman married foreign wives.
- After accepting the call of discipleship Peter denied the Lord.
Illustration: I read somewhere about the occasion when Thomas Edison’s experimental laboratory was destroyed by fire. It has been told that Edison responded to that tragedy by saying “Thank God! Twenty thousand mistakes have been burned up!”
3. The third and final lesson we learn from Paul about moving beyond regrets is to Focus. Paul said he was “reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” (vs. 13 NKJV)
A. Paul was focused on his purpose. In chapter 1 of Philippians Paul says “But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor.” Paul’s purpose in life was to live and serve Jesus Christ.
Illustration: William H. Hinson tells us why animal trainers carry a stool when they go into a cage of lions. They have their whips, of course, and their pistols are at their sides. But invariably they also carry a stool. Hinson says it is the most important tool of the trainer. He holds the stool by the back and thrusts the legs toward the face of the wild animal. Those who know about lion training maintain that the animal tries to focus on all four legs at once. In the attempt to focus on all four, a kind of paralysis overwhelms the animal, and it becomes tame, weak, and disabled because its attention is fragmented. (quoted in Autoillustrator.com, PRIORITIES /FOCUS/ PURPOSE/ PERSPECTIVE, from Developing the Leader Within You, by John Maxwell) (Contributed to Sermon Central by Darren Ethier)
B. Paul was focused on the promises of God. Look at verse 21 & 22. “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.” (NKJV)
Illustration: I heard an interesting story about Adrian Rogers the other day. Two days before Adrian Rogers died, his good friend, Jerry Vines went to visit him. Dr. Rogers told Jerry he was in a win/win situation. He said if God leaves him here he will be able to see his family and serve the Lord. However, if God carries him home he will see Jesus. Thus, Dr. Rogers saw a win/win situation.
Conclusion: I pray that you will be able to move beyond the regrets and sins of your past.
