Gods Blueprint for Lasting Friendships
Proverbs 18:24 and Selected Passages
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
1. One of the most severe epidemics of our time is loneliness. Though most of us are surrounded by people, we live in a society of loneliness. Everyone, from little children to aging seniors experience feelings of isolation, rejection and seclusion. We often think of single people who live alone as being lonely, but some of the loneliest people I have known have been married with a house full of children.
2. There are two types of loneliness:
#1 first, there is SOCIAL loneliness. This occurs when we are isolated from our families and friends.
#2. Second, and worse there is EMOTIONAL loneliness. This is the most common type of loneliness. It occurs when we feel we have no one to share our deepest concerns, no one who truly understands our struggles or our joys.
Every human being needs friendships on two different levels.
#1 we need HORIZONTAL friendships. We need deep meaningful friendships with other people. The proverb says, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly." In other words, we have to work on building friendships.
QUESTION …….Do you work on building friendships with others or let it happen?
#2 . We need a VERTICAL friendship. The second part of our verse says, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
That friend is Jesus Christ. Unless you have a personal friendship with Jesus, you’ll never escape loneliness.
Ex.33:11 "So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend."
Jam.2:23 "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. And he was called the friend of God."
John 15:15, "No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you."
I WANT TO GIVE YOU A BLUEPRINT FOR LASTING FRIENDSHIP.
LET’S EXAMINE 10 CHARACTERISTICS OF GENUINE FRIENDSHIP.
#1 Friends Listen.
A. Genuine friends have open ears.
1. Many people are self-centered. They only want to talk about themselves. They don’t listen when you speak because they are too busy thinking of what they will say next.
2. A true friend will listen when you speak. He wants to understand how you feel and what concerns you.
STORY
Chuck Swindoll tells this story about one of his daughters when she was quite small. One day he came home tired from a long day of ministry. As he sat in his easy chair in front of a relaxing football game, hoping to catch the last half in peace, his young daughter approached him and began jabbering as fast as she could. Vainly trying to enjoy the game, Chuck said, "Honey, slow down. You’re talking too fast." Quick as a whip, the child responded, "No Daddy, I’m not talking too fast. You are listening too slow!"
B. Because Jesus is our friend, He listens to us.
Psalm 91:15 "He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him."
Isaiah 65:24 says of Him, "It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer; And while they are still speaking, I will hear."
Luke 11:9 "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
James 5:16 reminds us "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
#2 Friends Share Interests.
A. Genuine friends always find common ground with us.
Though you may have friend with whom you have no common interest, your best friends have something in common with you.
Because Jesus is our friend, He sought common ground with us.
1. Jesus found common ground by becoming one of us. He loved us so much He became one of us.
Philippians 2:7 He "made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men."
#3 Friends Protect.
Genuine friends always look out for us.
1. Walter Winchell has said, "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out."
2. Jonathan was a genuine friend to King David. When Jonathan’s father, Saul, planned to kill David, Jonathan warned him and helped him escape.
QUESTION?
HOW DO GOOD FRIENDS PROTECTS US ?
#1 They know how to keep private things private.
Proverbs 17:9 He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends."
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends."
#2 They will not allow others to speak badly of us.
I recently read of a mother who decked another mother because she made fun of her handicapped child. If necessary, they fight for us.
BECAUSE “JESUS IS OUR FRIEND, He PROTECTS US.
CONSIDER A FEW THOUGHTS.
1. He protected the Israelites on their way out of bondage.
2. He protected Elijah when Jezebel wanted to kill him.
3. He protected Elisha and showed his servant His army.
4. He protected the three in the fiery furnace.
5. He protected Daniel in the lion’s den.
6. He protected Jonah in the belly of the great fish.
7. He protected Paul and Silas, and others, in prison.
8. He protects us today.
Psalm 125:2 "As the mountains surround Jerusalem, So the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever."
Psalm 34:7 The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them."
#4 Friends Tell the Truth.
Genuine friends are always honest with us.
1. Oscar Wilde wrote A true friend always stabs you in the front."
2. Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."
Sometimes we need to be told the truth. I think that’s what Paul had in mind when he admonished the
Ephesians to "speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15).
We need to be told when we’ve offended someone.
We need to be told when we’ve made mistakes.
We need to be told the truth when we are about to make bad decisions.
A true friend, "speaking the truth in love" will risk being liked in order to help you.
. Because Jesus is our friend, He deals with us in loving honesty.
1. Have you ever noticed how the Word of God cuts?
2. Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
He speaks to us through the Word, through the Spirit and through counsel.
Sometimes the truth hurts. But the truth of Jesus is like a surgeon’s scalpel. It cuts to heal.
#5 Friends Overlook Faults.
Genuine friends accept us, warts and all.
Lawrence Peters says you can tell a real friend by the fact that when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Because Jesus is our friend, He overlooks our faults.
1. Many people have the false idea that when a person comes to Jesus, he must first clean up his life.
2. Jesus accepts just where your are. During His personal ministry, He associated with the dregs of society. The religious establishment gave Him the title "friend of sinners." He wore it like a Medal of Honor.
3. Don’t misunderstand. He doesn’t condone your sin. He hates your sin. He wants to take your sin away. He’s the only one who can clean up your life.
#6 Friends Bear Burdens.
A. Genuine friends help you carry your load.
Often, life hands us great "burdens": loss of a job, a handicap, poor health, loss of a loved one, etc... A true friend helps your carry that load.
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Proverbs 17:17). A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity
Because Jesus is our friend, He takes our burden upon Himself.
1 Peter 5:7. cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
Matt.11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"
#& Friends Are Loyal.
A friend is someone you can always count on.
STORY
A farmer was detained for questioning about an election scandal. "Did you sell your vote?" the attorney asked. "No sir, not me," the farmer protested. "I voted for that there fella ’cause I liked him." "Come, now," threatened the attorney. "I have evidence that he gave you fifty dollars for a vote." "Well, now," the farmer said, "it’s plain common sense that when a fella gives you fifty dollars you like him."
Because Jesus is our friend, we can always count on Him.
1. He said, He would never leave us or forsake us.
2. Luke 15 records the story of the prodigal son. When all his friends deserted the boy, His father accepted him.
#8 Friends Bring out our Best.
Genuine friends always want what is best for us.
. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."
A true friend always encourages you to do your best.
Because Jesus is our friend, He brings out our best.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
James 1:2-3 Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience."
#9 . Friends Build us Spiritually.
Genuine friends want you to become more like Christ.
Someone once said, "A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become and still gently invites you to grow."
Because Jesus is our friend, He wants us to grow spiritually.
#10 Friends Love.
Genuine friends express their love.
STORY.
As the movie Brian’s Song depicted, the friendship between Gale Sayers and Brian Piccolo deepened into one of the best relationships in the history of sports. During the 1969 season, Piccolo was cut down with cancer. He fought to play the season out, but he was in hospitals more than he was in the games. Gale Sayers flew to be beside him as often as possible. They had planned, to sit together at the Professional Football Writers annual dinner in New York, where Sayers was to be given the George S. Halas Award as the most courageous player in pro football. However, Pick was confined to his bed at home. As he stood to receive the award, tears sprang to Sayers’ eyes. He said, "You flatter me by giving me this award, but I tell you here and now that I accept it for Brian Piccolo. Brian Piccolo is the man of courage who should receive the George S. Halas Award. I love Brian Piccolo and I’d like you to love him. Tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him too." "I love Brian Piccolo." How often do we hear men say words such as those? But how much more enriched our lives could be if we dared to declare our affection as Sayers did.
Jesus’ greatest _expression of love was His death.
Someone asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" He spread out His arms, said, "This much" and died.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
I WANT TO ENCOURGE US ALL TO BE A REAL FRIEND TO YOUR FRIENDS. AMEN. LETS PRAY
