Many unfortunate things happen in many churches around the world, simply because people are people. There are the unattractive things Christians do, which ultimately result in the dismembering of the body of Christ. They are the sins we commit, which drive people away from the church where people are supposed to encounter God and be healed.
Many unfortunate things happen in many churches, but among the ugliest and most destructive of these are the three unfortunate events we’ve focused on in the past few weeks:
Hypocrisy: the practice of professing beliefs, feelings or virtues that we don’t really have.
Mediocrity: the state of being moderate to inferior in quality in our spiritual lives: ordinary, powerless, religious people. Satisfied with the status-quos Christian lifestyle. (It’s not meant to be.)
And finally, today’s unfortunate event: the third of the uglies, which is called Back Biting…
If Satan has an arsenal of weapons, back biting is among the weapons in his secret artillery. It’s the stealth bomber of the unholy armed forces because the attack always comes when your back is turned. Back biting is the coward’s approach to problem solving. See, back biters are afraid of confrontation, so they would rather attack from behind than obey God’s Word and approach from the front because they want to avoid detection. They have this costume they wear in public, so they seem as innocent as this little baby, but like this child, their teeth are deadly.
In a church we attended, I knew a woman on the church staff who seemed so sweet to everyone in their faces, but as soon as they turned their back, she had something nasty to say about them. She was so good at making everyone think she liked them, but I was surprised by some of the remarks she had for them when they weren’t listening, and you know, it made me wonder what she was saying about me when I wasn’t around.
Back biting occurs when somebody goes behind another person’s back and says bad things, or spread rumors about them to destroy their character.
Back biters are good at pretending they love everyone, but deep inside, they are vicious toward other people. They tear people apart with their words. As the book of James says, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Nowhere is this more true than in the mouth of a back biter… They are ruthless with their words and they have not learned to tame their tongues, and the result of their words is destruction.
Unfortunately, pastors and churches are the constant victims of back biting. All it takes is one hard to please person to complain behind the pastor’s back and the whole church can become discontented. People leave churches all the time because of things they’ve heard or said about the pastor. They church shop and church hop and no one benefits from it. The end result of saying bad things behind each other’s backs is always detrimental to the church. Jesus said, "He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.” Matt 12:30
Are you building up the body of Christ with your words, or tearing it down?
"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.”
We can be just as much enemies of Jesus with our mouths as we can with our actions. Words are very powerful in the building up or tearing down of the body of Christ, His church.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Prov 18:21
SO, LEARN TO TAME YOUR TONGUE AND FIND SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY!
I: A BAD MOUTH COMES FROM A BAD HEART.
That’s why Jesus is so disgusted by bad-mouthing.
In Matthew 12:34-37 Jesus said, “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. [That’s a promise from Jesus Christ. All of His promises are yea and what? Amen!] For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Don’t be caught up in the snare of bad mouthing.
Jesus is saying if you have evil flowing out from your mouth, then that evil is welling up from inside your heart. Your heart is the source of what comes out of your mouth, and therefore whatever we say is an indication of what lies deep in our hearts.
A BAD MOUTH comes from A BAD HEART. Don’t fix it in the mix illustration.
You can’t take bad raw video and make a good finished video with it. You can’t “sweeten it in the mix.” You start with quality to end with quality.
That’s why they’re extra careful to buy the finest equipment, to cast the perfect lighting, to use the best quality film and tape… Because the end product can only be as good as the things you used to start the project with.
In the same way, anyone who says hurtful things behind people’s backs is showing symptoms of something that’s wrong in our heart, and our God is a god of the heart. The heart is the most holy place, where the Holy Spirit sits enthroned in our lives. How can we expect Him to take residence there if we are full of evil?
If you’re gossiping, back biting and say negative things about your brother, then you have a heart problem and you need to get right with Jesus before you leave this sanctuary today. Today is the day of salvation. Now is the time to get on Jesus’ side. "He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.”
How can you say you are a child of God if you are working against His Christ? How can you say you love your brother if you’re tearing him down with evil words from your mouth? QUIT FOOLING YOURSELF! If you say you love your brother and yet you attack him with your mouth, then you deceive yourself and your faith is worthless.
What you really have is a disease that begins in your heart, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
? What are you using your mouth for lately? What kinds of things are welling up from out of your heart? Those things say a lot about the condition of your heart before God.
A BAD MOUTH comes from A BAD HEART.
Matt 12:33, "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.”
SO, do we all get the point? Back-biting is BAD! As President Bush would say, “Not gonna do it… Wouldn’t be prudent.”
And, THE CONSEQUENCES of Back biting ARE DEADLY! (To us as much as everyone else!)
There is no reward for the things we say that tear other people down, however right we may be.
As Ross Perot once said, “You wear a funny mask, I’m supposed to give you an Almond Joy? Well, think again, money boy! Think again!”
Now,
II: THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE CATEGORIES OF BACK-BITING,
which tear down people’s faith and destroy the church Jesus died to build:
Let’s explore those for a minute…
CATEGORY I: RUMORS & GOSSIP
Illustration: (The story of the Bayer Strippers)
1 Tim 5:13, “they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.”
Gossips are always saying things they ought not to. They damage the church and run people off with their mouths, because they can’t keep a person’s confidence.
I remember telling a close friend something personal I confided in him. Later on he got angry with me about something and told everyone that thing I trusted him with, and that really hurt.
Although the gossip may appear to be your friend today, sharing the unfortunate events of another person’s life, tomorrow, you will be the topic of the day when the gossip meets with another friend.
Prov 11:13, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”
Don’t assume a gossip has any loyalties. Their loyalty goes only so far as their juicy conversations will take them.
There are 2 sides to every story. Don’t believe a false report until you know the whole story.
Don’t allow gossip and slander to destroy your faith and if you’re too weak to fend it off, then learn to shut your trap lest you destroy someone else’s innocence, and in doing so damage Christ’s body.
My name is Gossip. I am nobody’s friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments, wreck marriages, and ruin careers -- cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses… “GOSSSSSSIP” I make headlines and headaches.
Before you repeat a story, ask yourself, Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not – don’t say a word!
CATEGORY II: ARGUMENTS & LIES
A Christian in the church once said, “I used to have angels wings, but the backbiters bit them off…”
Titus 3:9-10, “…avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.”
Good churches loose good pastors who have given everything to minister to God’s people because of a few wolves among the sheep, who stir up dissention and discontent.
Titus 3:1-5, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”
CATEGORY III: HURTFUL TRUTHS strategically placed.
SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE OF AUTHORITY.
Eccl 10:20, “Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird of the air may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.”
One night I drove home from work, talking to God the whole way home alone in the car. I poured out my heart to Him, told Him my deepest desires and talked about all my fears and hurts with Him, asking for His help.
When I got home, I noticed my cellular phone had been on the whole time. Climbing in the car that night, I must have accidentally speed dialed someone on my list. What did they hear? Did I say anything bad about anyone? I hoped with all my heart I didn’t divulge too much information!
Fortunately, it was just my grandparents. They answered the call and they were listening to my muffled voice the whole time, and wondering why in the world I wasn’t talking to them!
The good thing for me is that God was my primary audience that night! But what if it had been a coworker or a friend? What would my grandparents have heard then?
Do you believe God is omnipresent? Can’t He hear every word you say? What is He hearing when you’re talking to your friends, in private? Did you know there’s a heavenly host listening in?
Would you live your live differently if every conversation and ever thought you ever had was being accidentally broadcast across the cell phone in your pocket to your Pastor? Well it is not being broadcast to your Pastor, but your every thought and the ear of God hears every word!
DEFEATING THE BACK-BITER:
I: REFUSE TO BE A PARTAKER:
REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN GOSSIP.
Eph 5:11, “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
Speak up for what is good and right: if you say nothing, you’re a contributor.
SHUT THE GOSSIPER DOWN!
1 Tim 4:7, “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.”
IF THAT DOESN’T WORK, SHUT THE GOSSIPER OUT!
Titus 3:10, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.”
II: LIVE BY THE SPIRIT AND LOVE:
Gal 5:14-16, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”
If you love your neighbor, you aren’t going to be saying things that tear him down, or make him look small in other people’s eyes. You’re going to want to build him up, earn his confidence and trust, be like Jesus… And when you hear someone saying evil things about him, you should be the first person to put them in their place.
Christians, we should be defending each other like we would want to be defended if bad things were being said about us.
III: MEDITATE ON THE GOOD THINGS: (flip the coin)
Phil 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things.”
There’s always something good to dwell on. Choose it instead of the bad. We all have personality strengths and weaknesses. The condition of your heart will determine whether you decide to focus on the strengths or the weaknesses. Choose to look at the positive attributes of your peers, and learn to overlook the negative ones. That’s what we’re doing for you…
CONCLUSION:
A Catholic man went to his priest and confessed, “The Lord has convicted me of gossiping… What can I do to make it right?” The priest told him to go to the top of a mountain, rip open a feather pillow, turn the feathers loose in the wind, and then come back the next day. So the man did - he went to the top of a mountain, tore open a feather pillow, and scattered the feathers to the wind.
The next day he went back to the priest and asked, “I scattered the feathers… Now what do I do?”
The priest said, “Go back and collect all of the feathers.” The man complained about how impossible it would be to collect all of those feathers. They were scattered everywhere.
The priest said, “That’s the point. Once you begin to gossip, the words you spread scatter to the wind and can never be retrieved. You don’t know where they are going to go, where they will land, or
who they are going to hurt.”
Prov 11:11-13, “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”
The fact is, we’re all guilty and innocent at the same time. Guilty of past sins, yet innocent by the crimson blood of the Lamb of God. Therefore, since we are all guilty of sin, not one of us has the right to point the finger at another man’s sin, and since we are all forgiven, how dare any one of us reach past the crimson flow and recover a man’s sins, which were covered by that blood. Shame on anyone who brings up sins forgiven. That person stands under God’s judgment.
Isa 29:20-21, “The ruthless will vanish, the mockers will disappear, and all who have an eye for evil will be cut down-- those who with a word make a man out to be guilty, who ensnare the defender in court and with false testimony deprive the innocent of justice.”
James 3:9-12, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” …
HYPOCRISY, MEDIOCRITY & BACK-BITING.
All three of these unfortunate events are church killers. All three work against and defeat the purpose of Jesus Christ to build up the church and shape God’s people into the image of Christ.
All three destroy people’s faith, work to divide the body of Christ, essentially lopping off valued parts of His body: the church, and all three summon the anger and rage of God against His people.
