INTRO: There was a man who came to this village and he sat down with the villagers by the river and began to eat, when all of a sudden this large crocodile came out of the water and bit his arm off. The man was horrified along with the villagers. They gave him aid and then went about their business.
The man was upset the people didn’t talk about it, to try to resolve the problem. He found out the tribe thought it was impolite to talk about such matters. He also noticed many people in the village were missing fingers, toes, hands, and some had died; but the tribe refused to talk about such matters even though there was so much destruction taking place.
Sex – we don’t talk about it in church. Do we talk about it in the home (show of hands – those learned about it at home)? Trying to talk about it in the schools.
People have been hurt, wounded, and devastated; but the churches refuse to talk about it because it’s not polite, even though we have in the Bible the Song of Songs.
SUMMARY: Song of Songs – We’ve watched how they’ve met, how they’ve courted. We’ve looked at very important concepts: attraction, self-image, and traits of a solid relationship. Today we get to witness the wedding.
TITLE: The Path of Becoming One
TEXT: Song of Songs 3:1-4:4
I. Frightening Dream – Counting the cost (v. 1-5)
A. The setting – she has had some wonderful times with Solomon, but some major decisions are on the horizon.
1. In her dream – there is the painful longing to be with her beloved. This recurrent dream of what life would be like after she married Solomon.
2. Joseph Dillow – "The dream reveals a nagging uncertainty as to whether she would be happy with a king whose time would be occupied with the affairs of state and who would often be away on business."
3. She wants to marry Solomon and live in Jerusalem, but she is not sure she can be happy away from her mother’s home in the countryside.
-Idea: She wants the best of both worlds. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
B. Our walk with God – has the same struggles
1. Remember when I began this series – we could look at two humans in a relationship (Solomon and Shulamith); but we can also look at this allegorically (where we are the bride and God is the groom
2. Just as Shulamith wanted the best of both worlds, so do we as Christians. -There is this concept of counting the cost to follow Christ.
-Christianity is far more than saying a few words at the altar or coming to church. It’s a lifestyle where you are not your own person you belong to Christ. (He has purchased you by his blood).
3. The Apostle Peter – seems to be doing great things for God, then at other times failing miserably.
-Peter, remember, denied the Lord three times just after he was blowing and going that he would die for him. Jesus gets killed, and over a period of time, Peter goes back to doing what he was doing before following Christ (fishing).
-Jesus comes to visit Peter to reinstate him. Jesus tells him to feed his sheep or he goes on to say:
a. John 21:18 – "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."
Idea: To be a true follower of Christ, you have to follow (do things that you don’t always want to do).
THOUGHT: Shulamith realized her whole life was about to change if she was going to marry Solomon.
-She decides to marry Solomon.
C. Side Note: Before I talk about the wedding day, let’s take not of v. 5b – "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." This is twice now we have seen this thought – Chapter 2:7b
1. Idea of restraint – every time their passions increase, their holiness holds them back, their faithfulness to God will be rewarded.
-God will reward you for your faithfulness to him.
II. The Wedding Day – The Big Day – v. 6-11
A. The wedding procession – some of the language used comes from Israel’s exodus journey.
1. Explanation on v. 6
-V. 6 – coming from desert like a column of smoke – who was a column of smoke to the children of Israel? God. I’m not inferring that men are gods; rather it’s the idea of a holiness.
-V. 6 – perfumed with Myrrh and incense – a picture of sweetness.
-The concept that this wedding is holy and sweet. It’s going to be an exciting celebration.
2. Explanation of v. 7-8
-Carriage basically was a traveling couch that was enclosed with poles so it was carried on human’s shoulders.
-Groomsmen, 60 warriors, to protect this bride from any problems. (Imagine having groomsmen standing at your wedding with 357 Magnum strapped to their sides). Idea: the man is going to be the
protector in the marriage; the woman is going to feel safe (safety, security to women is very important).
3. Explanation of v. 9
This carriage was made of wood from Lebanon. -Idea of strength, being strong.
a. Howard Hendricks, President of Dallas Seminary, said a secular counselor wrote one of the best books he’s ever read on marriage after 38 years of counseling marriages. He noticed something about bad marriages.
-That is passive men and wild women.
b. Observation was this – when it comes to a man’s job, they can be creative, zealous, ambitious; but when it comes to home, he is uncreative, a bad listener and not humorous.
-While the woman gets mad.
POINT: Men, no woman wants to marry a weak fellow. (I’m not talking about being macho. I’m talking about character). They want a man to lead.
4. Explanation of v. 10-11 (READ)
-He’s majestic, he’s mine. She wants all the women of the nation to come and look at him.
a. Ruth Graham was asked on one occasion, "Your husband is gone 7 months out of the year, what’s it like?" She responded 5 months with Billy Graham is better than 12 months with another man.
Q: Men, is your wife proud of you? If not, I encourage you she can be.
III. The Wedding Night – 4:1-4
A. The bridal chamber – culture of that day - you’d get married – a great celebration at the wedding feast.
1. Then a couple would go off into this room and consummate their marriage all the while the party is still going on, and when they are done they would return and join the party.
2. They are in the bridal chamber – here is what Solomon says – v. 1-4
B. Get the picture
-She walks in, he looks at her eyes, compares them to a dove’s (represents purity, gentle, sweet).
-Solomon lifts the veil, touching her hair, like a flock of goats from Gilead (black goats with long hair) (This land was the best.)
-In other words, Solomon was talking about how beautiful her hair is.
a. Then he proceeds to talk about her teeth, lips, neck.
-Rather than go through each one, I’m going to talk about a concept (that Solomon is doing) that may be foreign to some of the men.
C. The concept of romance – notice men, he has not put a hand on her sexually, but romantically.
1. Romance, according to Tommy Nelson, came from the Roman days, common language was Latin, but the language got to be so widespread that there was the formal language (marriages, birth certificates).
-The other less formal Latin became the common man’s language. This language was passionate, romantic.
-So the term romantic was talking about something that was not merely formal or legal but passionate and full of love.
2. That’s what we mean today by romance – when you get married, you get a certificate of marriage that is legal, formal, showing that you are married.
-Duties, requirement (make money, support wife, take care until death). -Romantic is far more, it’s the passion that comes from your heart.
a. What drives a woman crazy – merely to have a legal document with her husband who cannot express deep down how he loves her.
3. Joseph Dillow talks about 4 ingredients to romance (gets this from the Song of Songs).
a. Romance includes the element of the unexpected.
-Solomon, throughout this letter, does things that are unexpected.
1. Anything that repeats itself over and over again loses its romantic value. Ex...Baseball - throw the same pitch over and over again. They are going to hit it. -Then you are going to get pulled from the game.
b. Romance includes dating – A date is when you plan the evening (not ask, "Honey, what do you want to do?")
-You arrange the babysitter; you arrange the plans and activities.
-Remember, when you go out, go out alone. Going out can be spontaneous and also planned (be flexible and creative).
c. Romance includes the impractical – cedars from Lebanon are very impractical for bedroom construction according to Dillow.
1. Or emphasis of being practical is a major killer of romance.
Ex...David’s top generals going to get David a drink behind enemy lines (risking their lives) for a pitcher of water. How impractical!
2. Creative romantic love is often stifled by the desire to be reasonable and practical. -List: This is a foolish way to spend money, we are too old for this.
d. Romance includes creativity – Solomon is a very creative lover. He was creative to design that kind of bedroom.
-He speaks in poetry to describe her beauty.
-He takes her on walks in the forest and they make love outdoors.
-He buys her trinkets and jewelry
1. Men, how creative are you toward your wife?
-Men have a tendency to think in categories, and then settle down into a rut.
QUOTE: It has been said the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of it.
-Hand out test on creativity (ushers come forward) CONCLUSION: Call forward those who need prayer.
