INTRO: I believe the Lord wants me to focus on relationships, so I am going to try to preach through the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) to give us some insight on relationships.
Insight to OT [broken into three sections]
1) Gen. – Neh. (historical section)
2) Isaiah – Mal. (prophetic section)
3) Between historical and prophetic section we have the poetic (dealing with the big issues of life)
-God in his worship (Psalms)
-Relationships among people and how to handle money (Prov.) -How does God allow evil and still be sovereign (Job) -Mysteries of life and how the body matures (Ecc.) -Song of Songs (Solomon) deals with relationships
(Dealing with all the facets that go along with it.)
Common sense – In a relationship where there is such strong emotions and passions, which are normal mixed into a marriage relationship.
-Do you think God just throws us in and says, "Figure it out!"
2 Peter 1:3 – "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
-God gives us the book Song of Songs.
-Most people have not even read the book, and if they have read it, they have had a difficult time understanding it.
About the book – A lot of material I’ll use is from Tommy Nelson "A Study of Love, Sex, Marriage and Romance"
1. This book is 8 chapters long, taking a couple and giving you seven snap shots of their attracting, courtship, marriage.
-For two chapters you watch this couple fight.
Q: Have you ever fought, well you’ll see this couple fight.
2. This book according to Nelson is meant to be taught to singles (so they will know what to expect).
(Do you realize people spend more time learning how to drive a car?)
3. This book takes marriage and sees it as something divine. It will show you your desires, your passions as something normal and view it in the divine.
Ex... Have you ever been out to eat and you see a couple embracing one another and cuddling, and you think, "Oh, newlyweds. They just got married!" But as the years go by something seems to change.
-Friends, it shouldn’t seem to be that way.
TS: This morning, we’re going to look at a 3,000 year-old document that will help us tremendously.
-You might think, "How could a man write a book on (courtship and marriage) who had over 700 wives? (Who should know better than Solomon, the wisest man?)
-How can you have a book on worship (the Psalms) with a guy that committed murder and adultery? King David
-How can you have a guy write the church epistles that was a part in killing the first Christian and who also said that law produced within him a coveting of every kind? This was the Apostle Paul.
TITLE: The Art of Attraction TEXT: Song of Songs 1:1-7 I. Background to the text.
A. Joseph Pillow writes on the background – King Solomon lives in the tenth century B. C. He is Israel’s richest king, and owns vineyards all over the nation—one of them close to Baalhamon in the northernmost part of Galilee, near the foothills of the Lebanon Mountains. While visiting this vineyard, Solomon meets a country girl, Shulamith. She captures his heart. For some time he pursues her and makes periodic visits to see her at her country home.
Finally he asks her to marry him. Shulamith gives serious consideration to whether she really loves him and can be happy in the palace of a king, and finally accepts.
Solomon sends a wedding procession to escort his new bride-to-be to the palace in Jerusalem. The book opens, as she is getting ready for the wedding banquet and the wedding night.
B. Open with a question – "How do you attract?"
1. In other cultures you get married based on character and virtue, and it grows into romance.
2. In America it starts with romance and it devolves into chaos.
3. Key: What is attraction?
Ex...In the book of Genesis, Abraham sends a servant out to look for a wife for his son, Isaac.
-Servant goes, he does not know who the woman is, but he knows what kind of woman she ought to be.
Tommy Nelson – It’s not so much that you have to find the right person for your life, but you’ve got to be solid on the right kind of person that you will not settle for.
a. Servant Abraham looking for:
1) She had to be a believer. She had to be willing to leave everything to believe the Word of God and follow him to go back to the land of promise.
2) She had to be a camel watcher – In other words, she had to be a servant.
-He waited and God brought that type of woman (She just happened to be beautiful in form and face, extra bonus).
C. In the text today – what attracts this woman to this man and vice versa (v. 2-4).
1. V. 3 – "Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes.
-Men in those days didn’t have the opportunity to take many showers or baths, so they would cover themselves with perfume.
-So when the woman is saying pleasing is the fragrance of your perfume (she was saying, "You’re a nice looking man").
2. But what took precedence over looks – v. 3b – "Your name is like perfume poured out." a. A man’s name – is a man’s character. It is his virtue, his integrity.
-Ladies, the word character comes from the word kroso (a metal tool used to etch something) meaning character is something in your life that will not fade away because it’s been etched in you.
POINT: Your name is more important than your looks. In other words, someone’s character, his love, his holiness, honesty, morality, flexibility, ability to listen, is far more important than his looks.
3. Tommy Nelson – "Ladies, you can marry a blue-eyed, blond haired, 6"4’ hunk whose tan body everyone marvels at, who makes a ton of money.
-However, if that guy will not listen to you, he is rude, a pouty baby, when he does not get his way, will stomp out mad, fight you at every turn. He doesn’t compliment you and will not love you [All you’ve done is grabbed yourself a little bit of hell when you marry him."
II. Character is very important when marrying someone – In fact, it is far superior to someone’s looks.
A. Character – Highly prized, v. 3b – "No wonder the maidens love you", not because of his wealth or power. It’s because of his character.
1. Common sense – Ladies, if someone is pressing you morally it’s because he does not fear the standard of God, and if he doesn’t obey God when he’s dating you, how do you ever think he’ll obey God when you are married (when God confronts him with the standard to love his wife as Christ loved the Church): he’ll break your heart.
B. Her attitude – v. 4 – take me away with you. It’s the idea that it’s a privilege to be with you. In fact, it’s a delight.
1. In your marriage – what’s your attitude? Is it a privilege and a delight to be married or is it something else?
TS: We’ve been dealing with him – Let’s now focus on her.
C. Look at the girl – v. 5 – tells us she is dark.
1. Dark like the tents of Kedar – Kedar was Bedouin Tribe, which had black wool.
-The woman says she’s lovely, but yet she has a physical drawback.
2. Why she was like this – v. 6 – First of all we need to understand one of most precious things to a woman back then was her skin. That’s why they covered it.
-Don’t stare at me because I’m dark (sunburned). In other words, she was a woman who did not take care of her skin.
a. Reason, because mother’s sons made me take care of the vineyards. -In other words, she obeyed the authority over her.
b. Simply put: When looking at courting a girl understand if she can’t submit to her father or she does not respect her mother:
-What makes you think she’ll treat you in a godly way when you are married (again, physical appearance is downplayed)?
3. V. 7 – "Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?"
a. Prostitutes would veil themselves and follow after the flocks and would give themselves to the shepherd.
-This is where our term "hooker" comes from. In the Civil War the prostitutes who followed the Northern Army of General Hooker (were called "hookers").
b. Ladies, it means this – there are certain things you will not do to get a man. -You will not give up your relationship with God in order to have this man.
4. When are you ready to many? (Couple things that will let you know if you are ready to many –according to Tommy Nelson)
a. When there is a set of standards that you have for a mate and you won’t settle for anything less. It’s the kind of person you’ll wait for.
b. When you know the things that you will not do to get this man and you are willing to be single.
SUMMARY: Attraction is a man’s name meaning character not his physical appearance. For a woman it’s respect and one who understands authority. It’s interesting that physical beauty plays such a small role.
Think About it: Usually when you get married you are at the height of your physical beauty. So if you base your marriage on this, it’s no wonder why there are so many divorces.
-Marry for character rather than passion.
IN CONCLUSION: We’ve looked at this from the vantage point of humans, but it’s interesting to look at this from the vantage point of Christ as the king and we as his bride.
v. 2 – Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.
-Idea is we long for more, a deep intimacy with him.
_v. 3 – Your name is like perfume.
-Jesus’ character is of the highest standard.
v. 4 – Take me away.
-A longing to go into the inner sanctuary with Christ. This is of more value than anything. v. 5-6 – I am dark.
-Idea we are creatures of sin.
v. 7 – Where you graze your flock.
-A longing to be with him.
