How to Find Comfort:
Stopping the Overflow of Life’s Hurts
2Corinthains 1:3-7
Pastor Brad Rigney
Intro.:
A. God created us to be in relationship with People – Gen. 2 – “It is not good that man is alone…” Yet, in relationship with others (Parents, Spouses, Siblings, Friends, Co-workers, children, and yes, even brothers and sisters in Christ) – we will experience Hurt.
It is inevitable. Why? Because none of us are perfect. We will say something, do something, or not do something that is expected and it will hurt.
Ex. Liz and I – I love her and would never intentionally hurt her. But in the 15 years of marriage – guess what? I have hurt her. In fact, there was this one time… No, I am not going to share what it was that hurt her You thought I was – but you know what I mean.
B. Here’s the point: How do we live in relationship with people and yet deal with the hurt? God’s got an answer for us and we want to look at it today.
Lessons from 2Cor. 1:3-7:
1. God is the Source of all Compassion and COMFORT , vs. 3
2. God wants to Comfort YOU , in all your troubles, vs. 4a
Though Paul is writing the church of Corinth and about their sufferings for Christ in the ministry – it is clear in this passage that God wants to Comfort you in ALL your troubles.
3. God uses Comforted people to COMFORT others, vs. 4b
Here’s something I know:
Hurt People – Hurt People; Comforted People – Comfort People.
God wants to use us as we experience Comfort through life’s troubles to Comfort Others!
Sources of Hurts in your life:
Words, Rejection, Isolation, Lack of Understanding, Abuse, Neglect, lack of true love, Unforgiveness, Deception, etc.
Realize that sometimes people don’t realize that they are hurting you!
So how full is your Cup from the Hurts in life?
We are like a cup – some of the cups you just received are beautifully decorated. Sometimes we might put on a happy face, dress up and look good on the outside but inside we are full of hurts. How full is your cup from the hurts in life? Let’s learn how to empty our cups of the hurts.
God’s Prescription for Emptying your Cup from life’s Hurts: Anything other than God’s Prescription for Comfort is deceptive and/or temporary.
Ex: People feeling rejection turn to someone else (even if they are married) to find compassion and comfort but only end up with more problems. A Person feeling hurt by someone, turns to excel in such things as Work, or turns to Alcohol or drugs to find comfort.
1. MOURN the Hurt, Matthew 5:4
Grieve that someone has hurt you – Admit and Truthful with yourself and God what exactly is the Hurt. So often we just move ahead thinking that it is over and done, when in fact, it is not – because deep within us – we have been Hurt.
Now there are some things in life - deep hurts, that may require a professional counselor to help you get to the root of it – especially if you have you denied that particular hurt for many years.
But for most of us the particular hurt through words still plays back in my minds – or the hurt by action, plays again like a video in our hearts. WE know what the Hurt is but for different reasons, we have tried to ignore it – compensate by focusing on other things in life, rather truly dealing with it and Mourning it.
2. SHARE the Hurt with someone to Receive Comfort, Rom 12:15
Matthew 18: 15ff - Go to your brother who sins against you alone first….
This is hard for most people for a couple reasons:
a. our society has pretty much groomed us (especially us MEN) to work things out ourselves, ignore it, move on, etc.
b. We are afraid that the people we share our Hurt with will not Comfort us.
Now when a person shares with you their Hurt you have to Mourn with them and Comfort them!
Examples of NO Comfort: “You think you have it bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Oh, grow up – forget it – Move on with your life. You know what you need to do – Get Revenge. Or someone shares their hurt with you and then finds out that you went and told others that you both know.
Or rather than Mourning with them – feeling their pain, grieving that they went through this, you try to tell them how to fix the situation – “Oh, what you need to do is…”
Examples of Comfort: Key word in Mourning with someone: “I am so Sorry…” But it can’t just be words, it has to be honestly felt.
Asking them, what can I do to comfort you?
Pray with them.
Comfort is about relieving a person’s pain (physical, emotional, spiritual) through godly encouragement, caring, and counsel!
Actions to Receive God’s Comfort in your Life
1. Assess through the “Understanding Personal Needs” areas you have been Hurt by those closest to you (parents, spouse, siblings, children, etc.).
2. Ask the Lord to show you how those hurts in your life have progressed in filling up your Cup. Hurt – Bitterness - Anger - Rage
3. Seek the Comfort from the Holy Spirit (John 14) as well as someone close to you who can Mourn with you that Hurt!
When we fail to be Comforted and continue in our Hurt – sooner or later we will add to that Hurt and eventually will Spill over with Anger and Rage onto someone else (usually those we care the most about).
We will also limit our abilities to truly Love those we want to Love. In fact, we will create a Cycle with those in our family.
We will also limit our abilities to provide Comfort to Others.
We will limit our effectiveness in Ministry – sometimes Hurt overcomes different people and paralyzes them from taking risks and/or moving forward in new areas of ministry God wants them in.
We also limit the PRAISE for God, by blocking His work in us and others – vs. 2Cor. 1:3
