Lost and Lonely
I Kings 19:1-14
June 4, 2006
Awhile back, I got hooked on the television series “LOST.” For those of you who don’t watch it, the show is about the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 which crashed on a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean. They run into all sorts of surprises and challenges as they fight to survive in the wilderness. I think this is a great show.
The problem is that, after getting hooked on this show, I very seldom see it. I used to make it a point not to miss it, but that determination didn’t last very long. I seem always to be doing something else: a meeting or a family obligation or some such thing. I don’t get to see the show too much any more. We don’t have TiVo. Our VCR doesn’t have a record function. So this season, I have pretty much lost track of the characters. Somehow, my wife always manages to make Thursday nights her night for ER, but I have trouble setting aside my Wednesday’s for LOST.
Have you ever been lost? I have told you before about the work camp to Russia which I led in the fall of 1994. The last two days were spent in Moscow sightseeing. Our guide was Father Sergei at whose parish we had been working about 100 miles or so west of Moscow. When it was time to leave, he accompanied us to Moscow, dropped us off at our hotel, and said good-bye. And we were alone with two days to fill before catching our flight home. None of us spoke Russian. It was a strange feeling.
The manager of the hotel spoke English, so we were able to get subway directions to Red Square and the Kremlin. We got down there easily enough and had a great time doing all the tourist stuff. We walked around the city. There is a huge mall right across Red Square from Lenin’s tomb (which is really ironic if you think about it); a mall that compares with any high-end mall in the United States. We had a great time there.
When it came time to catch the subway back to the hotel, we realized that we hadn’t a clue where to go. We had a map of the city, but it made no sense. We walked around and around, and I, being the leader of the group was beginning to get a little concerned and bewildered.
Finally, we found a police officer – with an AK 47 slung across his shoulder – and walked over to see if he could help. I made eye contact with him and asked him if he spoke English. He said, “no.”
Obviously, we finally found our way back or else we would still be wandering around Russia, but it was a scary afternoon. There’s no feeling quite like being lost.
My guess is that everyone here can tell his or her own story of being lost. You know, not only is it scary to be physically lost, I have a feeling that we can sometimes become emotionally lost, and that can be as scary as not knowing east from west. Being lonely, confused, afraid, ashamed, and angry can make us feel as though we have lost all our bearings and that we have no where to turn.
For the next few weeks, we are going to take a closer look at those emotions and do what we can to find the spiritual resources to help us get back on track, discover our way in the midst of chaos and unknowing, and really find what we are looking for. We want to begin today with being lost and lonely.
Back in the Old Testament book of I Kings, there is this fellow named Elijah. Now Elijah just sort of appears on the scene. There isn’t an introduction. One minute he is not there and the next minute he is.
Ahab was king at that particular time in history. In terms of being a bad guy, he out did them all. The Bible says that he was a new champion in evil. The first thing he did was to marry a foreign woman who worshiped foreign gods. He started worshiping these foreign gods himself and even built shrines to them. During his reign they rebuilt the walls around the city of Jericho. He sacrificed his oldest son when they laid the foundation and his youngest son when they hung the gates. This was not a nice man. Later, in chapter 21, the Bible says: “Ahab…set an all-time record in making big business of evil.”
There was a long drought over the whole land. And God told Elijah to go see Ahab. Ahab was told that the drought was his fault because he had forgotten about God and had started to worship strange, foreign, false gods. And then there was a big confrontation between Elijah and the prophets of the false gods. Of course, Elijah won. 450 prophets of the false god were killed.
When the king told his wife, Jezebel, she was mad. She immediately made a threat to kill Elijah. She said that by that time tomorrow, he would be dead. So Elijah took off into the desert to hide. He had been up in the north of Israel and he fled all the way down south of Jerusalem, to the desert. This was a trip of a hundred miles or so. After that, he was prodded by God to walk another 40 days farther south into the desert. It’s a long walk. But he was scared and afraid and didn’t know what else to do.
Twice God came to Elijah and asked him what he was doing out there. Both times, Elijah answered that he had been working his heart out for God, but everyone had abandoned him. He said, “I’m the only one left and now they are trying to kill me.” “I’m the only one left and now they are trying to kill me.”
When I was a kid, the Kingston Trio had a song out titled, “Tom Dooley.” There was a line in that song – terribly cheesy as we look at it forty years later. Tom Dooley is talking and he says, “This time tomorrow, reckon where I’ll be. Down in some lonesome valley, hanging from a white oak tree.” Talk about lonely. Elijah was alone in the desert. He had no friends. He had no supporters. He had no help. He had no hope. Didn’t know where to turn. Didn’t know who to turn to. Have you ever felt like that?
It reminds me of another biblical character. A couple of hundred years before Elijah, Saul had been king over Israel, but God had decided that he needed to be replaced. David, a young shepherd boy, was chosen to replace Saul. Before that happened, Saul went out of his way to try to kill David. David’s fame had begun to spread and they were singing songs about him which only made Saul’s desire to kill him greater. So David was forced to flee to try to escape the king. At one point, he met a priest who asked him, “Why are you alone?” (I Sam. 21:1).
David was indeed alone. He thought the world had turned against him. He wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know who he could trust. Three Dog Night sang, “One is a lonely number.” David and Elijah both understood that.
Have you ever been lonely? What does it feel like? Now notice that there is a big difference between solitude and loneliness. Sometimes we can enjoy solitude: a time to be alone with our thoughts, a time be alone with God, a time to sort through events and make plans for the future, a time to consider one’s own relationship with God. Times of solitude can be helpful and beneficial.
Loneliness is different. Loneliness is having no one to talk to. Loneliness is being cut off from the rest of the world. Loneliness is deadly. Loneliness and depression go hand-in-hand. It’s possible to be lonely in a crowd if you feel that no one understands you and no one cares about you. Loneliness is looking for something without finding it. Loneliness is looking for love and acceptance and friendship.
What do we do then, when we are lonely? Let me offer you three strategies for overcoming loneliness.
First of all, find a friend. When David was lonely, he had his friend Jonathan. They loved each other deeply and committed themselves to each other’s welfare. They had each other’s back.
I remember seeing a poster years ago that talked about friendship. It said, “Let there be such oneness between you that when one cries, the other tastes salt.” That is the kind of friendship David and Jonathan had. When David was alone and cut off, he knew he had Jonathan worrying about him, thinking about him, and praying for him.
Elijah found Elisha; a man who was eventually was the one that took over Elijah’s ministry and prophecy. Their bond became so strong that Elisha refused to let Elijah out of his sight.
I’ve seen the data. When people are depressed and feeling cut off and alone, one essential ingredient of the restoration of their emotional health is friendship. We all need someone we can talk to, someone who can share our lives with us, someone who will accept us as we are. So, find a friend.
Secondly, look for ways to be a friend to someone else who needs you. You’ve all done this experiment before…if not, maybe you should. Walk down the mall and smile at people. The chances are better than average that they will smile back. Just the same, if you want a friend, look for ways to be a friend. Your friendship will usually be reciprocated. Jonathan knew he could count on David. Elisha knew he could count on Elijah. Who is it that can count on you?
Finally, and most importantly I believe, if you are lonely, don’t forget to follow God. Listen, pray, study, meditate, concentrate, and focus on God. Out there in the desert, God came to Elijah in a gentle, quiet whisper. And Elijah listened. David wrote, in Psalm 27, “Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.”
If you are lonely, you are probably looking for friendship, meaning in life, and a sense of being cared for. Loneliness happens. Sometimes the demands of life pile up and overwhelm us. It happens. That’s when we begin to look for a way out.
That is when we need to find a friend. That is when we need to be a friend. And most importantly, that is when we need to trust God more than ever. We may be lost and lonely for a time, but those times don’t have to last.
If you are lonely, there are resources to be found in the presence of God. If you know someone who is lonely, it seems to me to be your job to be that person’s friend, so that he or she can see God in you. We don’t have to lost and lonely forever. We can find what we are looking for.
