Do You Charge to Forgive?
Colossians 3:12-13 & Matthew 6:14-15
There was a time in Arizona that I had been feeling really uncomfortable about something, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. For about a month I was irritated with everything and everybody around me. Then one morning I woke up and my stomach was upset and I was angry even before getting out of bed and as I was walking across the room and I tripped on a pair of shoes that my husband had left in the middle of the floor, I instantly became enraged and starting mumbling something under my breath. As I got ready for the day I kept grumbling about the shoes and as I was walking through the house I felt the need to take this matter to the Lord in “prayer”.
So I began my prayer like this... Father I realize that I am wrong to get angry about the shoes, BUT ....
During my complaining and whining to God I noticed something unusual occurring in my conversation, I realized that I wasn’t complaining about the shoes anymore but now I was bringing up a bunch of old stuff that has happened in the past that I have not let go of. (Holy Spirit revealed truth to me)
At this point, then God entered the conversation; and he said “Are you ready to truly forgive now?”
A sign in a convenience store read, "Check Cashing Policy: To err is human. To forgive, will cost $10." This is a funny way to recognize the fact that people make mistakes, but it’s also evidence of the way many people think about forgiveness.
After God showed me that I hadn’t truly extended forgiveness he reminded me of some passages I had learned a long time ago.
I want us to look at both Colossians 3:12-13 & Matthew 6:14-15
Colossians: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Let me see: FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE ME and IF I DON’T FORGIVE GOD WILL NOT FORGIVE ME
Not only did the Lord take me to scriptures that I already knew, but also He had me reflect on two stories of men and how they handled forgiveness:
The 1st is the story of Joseph- Here is a man who was rejected, kidnapped, enslaved, and imprisoned and even forgotten by those he had helped. AND yet even after he had the power to punish the very people who betrayed him he was still merciful and repaid them with kindness.
The 2nd man is Moses- Here is a man who was just being obedient to God’s call, and all the while dealing with thousands of complaining, whining and ungrateful people and even after the many miracles they had witnessed they got impatient because their leader took too long on the mountain top with God and decided to make an idol. While on the mountain God told Moses what they were doing and said, “they are a stiff-necked people. Leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation.” Now understand Moses had a way out here, but instead of choosing it he stood in the gap on their behalf and prayed for God’s forgiveness over them and because of his prayers God did not destroy them.
Why is it so important for us to forgive others?
1. Because CHRIST forgave us.
ILLUSTRATION: Two brothers were playing, one was 5 years old and one was 2 years old. The 2 year old reached up and yanked his older brother’s hair. He screamed in pain, and his mother came rushing in. He told her what his brother had done, but his mother said was “HE is only 2 years old and doesn’t know what its like to have his hair pulled” and then left the room. A few minutes later she heard another scream and as she entered the room her 2 year old was crying. She asked the older child what had happened; he said, “You said he didn’t know what it felt like, well now he does.”
If we love someone the way Christ loves us, we will be willing to forgive. When someone hurts you deeply, instead of giving him what he deserves, we are to befriend that person. If we have experienced God’s grace, we will want to pass it on to others. By doing this we can break the cycle of “getting even” and instead show the example of reconciliation.
2. Forgiveness is an example of a CHRISTIAN life. Because God has forgiven all our sins, we should not withhold forgiveness from others. Realizing how completely Christ has forgiven us should produce a free and generous attitude of forgiveness toward others. When we don’t forgive others, we are setting ourselves outside Christ’s law of love
3. If we expect to be forgiven, we need to extend forgiveness. Jesus gives a warning about forgiveness; if we refuse to forgive others, God will also refuse to forgive us. It is easy to ask God for forgiveness, but difficult to grant it to others. Whenever we ask God to forgive us for sin, we should ask ourselves, “Have I forgiven the people who have wronged me?” Or “Do I need to ask for forgiveness of those I have wronged?”
ILLUSTRATION: One day a visitor leaned on the old fence around a farm while he watched an old farmer plowing with a mule. After a while, the visitor said, "I don’t like to tell you how to run your business, but you could save yourself a lot of work by saying, ’Gee’ and ’Haw’ to that mule instead of just tugging on those lines." The old farmer pulled a big handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face. Then he said, "Reckon you’re right, but this animal kicked me five years ago and I haven’t spoke to him since."
The moral of this story is: A grudge is harder on the one who holds it than the one it is held against.
As you heard me tell my story there were very definite warning signs that should have told me something was wrong. DO you know your warning signs?
The following is just a couple of warning signs
1. Resentment: We start to resent not only the person we haven’t forgiven but also others around us and we continue to conjure up old hurts just to keep the feelings fresh.
2. Short Tempered: Everything was making me angry
3. Sarcasm: Notice how I spoke with God
4. Manipulation: We become very manipulative in our actions and sometimes our words. Even to the point of trying to manipulate God.
5. You can become Physically Ill: We become physically or emotionally sick, such as withdrawn, lack of sleep, upset stomach. Jesus healed many people by forgiving their sins.
6. Physically abusive:
BRIDGE: When you are driving and you see a sign that says: “bridge is out up ahead” if you continue to go on that path it is very likely you will be in danger. There are also dangers that we face by not forgiving others
What are some dangers of not forgiving others?
1. We become bitter and could end up alone (deathbed)
2. Our heart becomes hard (too many people need Jesus)
3. We damage our relationship with God (I could tell something was wrong in my relationship with God)
4. We leave an opening for Satan to attack us in other areas
5. We become disobedient to God’s will (Colossians tells us God’s will is to forgive)
6. We stand in the way of God’s salvation (Not only in ourselves but for others as well. It would help us to put a value upon the privilege we enjoy as Disciples of Christ, to consider the state of hopelessness of those who do not know Jesus)
7. We see ourselves better than God (This last statement concerns me more than any I have stated here; because the Bible balances itself on forgiveness.
Understand that God allowed his beloved Son to die just so he could forgive us of our sins. So when we do not extend forgiveness to others we are going against our Creator.
For some people forgiving is the easy part, it is what the Lord expects from us next that is the most difficult. THAT IS TO FORGET
ILLUSTRATION: Following the Civil War, Robert E. Lee was visiting in Kentucky where one lady showed him the remains of what had been an enormous, old tree. This tree stood directly in front of her house. She bitterly cried to General Lee of how its limbs and trunk had been shattered by Federal artillery fire. Having poured out her anguish she looked to the old soldier to start condemning the North. But following a brief silence, Lee responded, “Mam, Cut it down and forget about it.
It is better to forgive the injustices of the past than to allow them to take root and add bitterness to our future. Memory is a marvelous thing, especially when it brings us wisdom or joy; however, forgetfulness is equally marvelous for it allows others to succeed where once listed them as failures.
God’s Word says, “I will remember your sins no more” and “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us”
Now if God can forgive our trespasses should we not forgive those who trespass against us?
After God revealed what was in my heart I had to ask for forgiveness not only from Him but I had to return to the person I was holding a grudge against and ask for their forgiveness. Instead of bitterness I asked God to fill me with His love. At that point I could then experience Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful”.
The warning signs before I had before forgiving were
Resentment Short tempered Sarcasm
Manipulation Physically sick
The signs that I have since extending true forgiveness are
Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness
Gentleness Faithfulness Goodness Self-control
These signs tell me that my life is back in line with God’s will.
Invitation to receive forgiveness
