“MARRIAGE” Gen. 2:15-25
INTRO – The word “marriage” conjures up all sorts of ideas and notions in people’s minds today. For some, it’s a source of humor, something to joke about. A couple of stories I read this week:
A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss." The husband takes the doctor’s advice and rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, "From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong. And another thing, guess who’s going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?" His wife says calmly, "The undertaker."
If being assertive doesn’t work, guys, you might want to try being more considerate:
The husband who was told by the marriage counselor to try and be more considerate of his wife. One day he comes home from work. He’s dressed up in a suit, he has cologne on, and he has a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy in his hands. He rings the doorbell and he’s standing there as she opens the door he holds out the flowers and the box of candy.
The wife opens the door takes one look at he standing there and starts crying. In between her sobs she says, "I can’t believe this! Little Johnny has been throwing up; the dishwasher just broke; your parents are coming to visit this weekend and, to top it all off, you come home drunk!
Someone once said that if love is a dream, marriage is the wakeup call!
Truth is that in our world marriage has become a joke. We hear stories all the time about marriages in our world today. Just think of some of the junk that you hear in today’s world.
- Elton John is getting married – to his longtime “partner” David Furnish? Going to England in mid-Dec. when civil partnerships for gays become legal there.
- Prince Charles recently got married again to Camilla Bowles. Has had an ongoing affair w/ her for years, even while married to Diana.
- Heartthrobs Brad Pitt & Jennifer Anniston have divorced. TV talk show – “Brad and Jennifer were so cute together. They made the perfect couple, & no one knew the divorce was coming. They just matched.”
- More & more people living together now to try each other out for a little while to see if it works.
- If you don’t like being w/ just one person, you can be polyamorous, which means being involved in relationships w/ several people, all of whom agree that this is OK. This is considered to be a very “spiritual” thing.
Many of you agree that the world has totally degraded, devalued, & debased marriage. I sent out an email a couple of weeks ago. Asked – what do you think the world’s view of marriage is? Here are some of the responses I received:
We desperately need to come back to what the W of G teaches about marriage. Whether you’ve been married 30-40 years or are a teenager who one dreams of being married, you need to clearly understand what G’s plans for marriage are. And you need to live accordingly.
- Don’t listen to Oprah
- Don’t listen to the celebrities
- Don’t listen to the pop psychologists
- Don’t listen to “Dear Abby”
- Listen to G!
Marriage is about Godly companionship – v. 18
Marriage is G’s idea. He intended marriage to meet the basic human need of love & companionship. He established His plan for marriage all the way back in the Garden of Eden, and His perfect plan has not changed, no matter what the world says.
- Cohabitation is not G’s plan.
- Extramarital affairs are not G’s plan.
- Homosexual marriage is not G’s plan.
- Divorce is not G’s plan.
G’s plan is that a man & woman commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives, being totally devoted to one another in every way. Paul Stevens wrote, "In marriage, death and life interpenetrate, as crucifixion and resurrection are eternally joined. Married persons are literally buried into each other, physically, emotionally and spiritually, losing themselves but finding themselves in the other." (Marriage Spirituality, InterVarsity Press).
V. 19-20 – As Adam looked at all the creatures that G had created, he could not find one that met his need for companionship. Why? B/c that creature had not been specially created by G yet. She wasn’t out there among the dogs, cats, elephants, monkeys, & beetles. She didn’t just happen to show up in the middle of a pack of hyenas.
No, G had a special plan in mind when he made this perfect companion for Adam. He could have made her from the dust as He made Adam. But the beautiful picture of the woman actually being made from the man’s flesh & bone shows the depth & the intimacy of the companionship that a husband & wife are to share. Marriage is NOT just a legal contract, not just a piece of paper, not just another human relationship that one can walk away from whenever one wants. It is a deeply intimate, deeply personal, deeply spiritual companionship rooted in the very heart of G. Companions help one another, are suitable & compatible for one another, & are willing, able, & ready to stand alongside one another no matter what comes their way. They desire to share their entire lives w/ one another, holding nothing back from the other. One definition of “companion” is “a traveler who accompanies you” (www.dictionary.com). How true that is for marriage! Godly companionship means that a husband & wife travel w/ each other down many different roads throughout their marriage. Sometimes the road is smooth w/ beautiful scenery all along the way. Need to drink those times in, enjoying the revelry of your love for one another. At other times the road is bumpy or full of potholes. Those are not the times that you bail out on your companion. Godly companions hold on to each other during those times, knowing that they need each other to make it safely through.
Marriage is about recognizing the uniqueness of our mates –v. 20b-23
Eve was created uniquely for Adam. No other creature was a “suitable helper” for him. That phrase means “a helper corresponding to him” or “a helper alongside him.” She was unique in that she was created differently, she was brought to him in a different manner, & their relationship was different from all the other creatures. Everything about her was unique. Everything about their relationship was unique.
One of the most important things we can do in our marriage relationship is to recognize the uniqueness of the person that G has brought into our lives as our husband or wife. They have qualities, talents, abilities, and personalities that make them unique & special. They have gifts that complement you & help make you a complete person, as your gifts do for them.
Too often, marriage is seen as a 50/50 proposal. Truth is that it is too be 100/100 w/ each mate giving all of themselves to the relationship. When this happens, both spouses are made complete & whole by the unique contributions that ONLY their husband or wife can give to them. Many of us would do well to remember that just as G brought Eve to Adam, He brought our spouse to us. Wife, your husband is uniquely yours. He was created by G to complete you, to lovingly lead you, to provide for you, to be the head of you as Christ is Head of the Church. Husband, your wife is uniquely yours. She was created by G to complete you, to stand alongside you (not beneath or behind you), to give you the unique insights & wisdom that only she can give. Martin Luther, the great Protestant Reformer, once said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, & let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
Marriage is about making sure that our spouse is our top priority earthly relationship – v. 24
Let me state this clearly: There is no other earthly relationship that is more important than your relationship w/ your spouse – PERIOD! You have become one w/ that person & there is NO OTHER RELATIONSHIP on earth that can make that claim. Ladies, your “girlfriends” are not that important! Guys, your hunting/fishing/golfing buddies are not that important! Parents, your kids are not that important! I repeat: There is no other earthly relationship that is more important than your relationship w/ your spouse.
My computer has a program called Microsoft Outlook on it. Has all my contact info (addresses, phone #’s, email addresses), my personal calendar, my to-do list. When you enter a new appointment on the calendar, there is button that you can click on that has a red exclamation point on it. Clicking on that button designates that appointment as a high priority item, one that has high importance to me. When it shows up on my calendar page, my eyes are immediately drawn to it to remind me of an extremely important appointment that is coming up.
We need to put a bunch of red exclamation points around our spouses! Why?
- So YOU will remember the high importance of this relationship. There is no other relationship that should have this high level of importance in your life.
- So THEY will know how important they are to you. This is so crucial in a marriage relationship. Too many marriages are suffering b/c one or the other spouse (or both) have gotten to the point where they are taking each other for granted. Your spouse needs to know that they are the most important person in the world to you. Don’t think, “They already know that.” Take specific, proactive steps to make sure they know.
- So EVERYONE ELSE will know how important your spouse is to you. I truly believe that many affairs would never get off the ground if we would stamp these red exclamation points all over our spouse. Everybody needs to know how important your spouse is to you. Make sure that everyone knows that there is not a chance that you would cheat on your spouse b/c they are the top priority of your life. Don’t give anyone a hint that there is the remote possibility that you would do this!
