INTRO: Out of the furnaces of war come many true stories of sacrificial friendship. One such story tells of two friends in World War I, who were inseparable. They had enlisted together, trained together, were shipped overseas together and fought side-by-side in the trenches. During an attack, one of the men was critically wounded in a field filled with barbed wire obstacles, and he was unable to crawl back to his foxhole. The entire area was under a withering enemy crossfire, and it was suicidal to try to reach him. Yet his friend decided to try. Before he could get out of his own trench, he sergeant yanked him back inside and ordered him not to go. “It’s too late. You can’t do him any good and you’ll only get yourself killed.”
A few minutes later, the officer turned his back, and instantly the man was gone after his friend. A few minutes later, he staggered back, mortally wounded, with his friend, now dead, in his arms. The sergeant was both angry and deeply moved. “What a waste,” he blurted out. “He’s dead and you’re dying. It just wasn’t worth it.”
With almost his last breath, the dying man replied, “Oh, yes, it was, Sarge. When I got to him, the only thing he said was, ‘I knew you’d come, Jim!”
One of the true marks of a friend is that he is there when there is every reason for him not to be, when to be there is sacrificially costly.
TITLE: Friendship
TEXT: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I. Thoughts on friendship - before we look at the text this morning.
A. Sayings about friendship.
: C.S. Lewis: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.
: Erma Bombeck: A friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though you’re a little cracked.
: A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following:
-One who multiplies joys, divides grief.
-One who understands our silence.
-A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world is gone out.
B. In order to have friends you must be a friend. (Proverbs 18:24 KJV)
1. We need to realize friendship is a concern for others so the relationship you have with someone is for their good, it is not for your good.
2. Friendship in the Bible is laying down one’s life. (John 15:13)
-A true friendship wants nothing for itself, according to Tommy Barnett.
Question: How many times have you heard people say, Oh, I don’t have any friends, or I wish I had some friends.
-The truth is, they’re not being a friend. (This is just a mirror reflection of how they’re being friends.)
Point: Friendship in a biblical sense is putting your friends’ needs and cares above your own.
-So true friendship wants nothing for itself.
3. It goes along with that old adage – It’s better to give than receive.
-It’s better to give of yourself to others than expect others to give for you.
TS: You’ll never know true friendship until you learn to put others needs above your own. You might be thinking, be more specific. OK.
-The text this morning will give us three ways to be a real friend.
II. A real friend helps you when you’re down. V. 10 [Read]
A. This is a hard place to be – whether you’re physically, mentally, or even emotionally down, but the one thing you’ll find –
1. You will see your true friends in these situations. These are places where those who love and care for you stand out.
TS: A story stands out to me when I think of friends.
B. The story of the paralytic in Luke 5:17-26.
1. Jesus had started his public ministry and the multitudes came from all over to hear him teach because he had authority like no one they had ever heard.
-He was also healing people from their ailments.
a. These friends of this man who had paralysis wanted to bring their friend to Jesus. He was crippled and they thought Jesus was the answer.
Question: Do we bring our friends to Jesus who are in desperate need? Are we as zealous as they were?
-Can you imagine this man’s hopelessness?
-Noted psychiatrist Viktor Frankl who barely survived a Nazi concentration camp in 1940’s made an interesting observation about hopelessness in a sobering account of its horrors. Frankl described how some prisoners lost touch with reality. A prisoner who no longer saw hope for the future, quickly would begin to decline physically and mentally. Then one day, without warning, he simply would give up. No amount of pleading by other prisoners, no amount of beating by the guards, no barking of threats brought any response. The prisoner just laid on his bunk corpse-like, uncaring, barely moving.
-This is an extreme example but can you imagine this man’s hopelessness.
: They recognized their friend had a desperate need.
: They realized that there was a cure available.
-They had heard about Jesus and his mighty power and how he healed people and they were going to do something about it.
Problem: The crowds were so large that they couldn’t get to Jesus but they didn’t let that stop them. They climbed up on the roof and cut a hole in the roof and let him down so he could get right by Jesus.
-These friends cared enough to overcome every obstacle in bringing him to Christ.
TS: A real friend helps you when you’re down. V. 10
III. A real friend is someone who provides emotional or physical warmth in a cold, cruel world. V. 11 [Read]
A. Sometimes in life you face circumstances beyond your control and it’s at that time you need a true friend.
-Proverbs 12:25, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
1. A beautiful story of friendship is that of Jonathan and David. David was the shepherd boy anointed king by Samuel who saved a nation from humiliation by killing Goliath of Gath. David grew and became very powerful in King Saul’s army, so much so on one occasion the people sang a song, David has killed 10,000 and King Saul his 1000.
As a result of this King Saul tried to kill David on a number of occasions because he was jealous of him. Can you imagine living with someone who’s trying to kill you?
Another particular thing that was happening - David was becoming very close friends with Jonathan, the king’s son. In fact they were like soul mates. They were so close that Jonathan sided with David rather than his own father. They had a close bond throughout their lives. Jonathan was continually helping David in his times of trouble. He was helping him up.
Question: Do you help your friends up when they’re down or do you just watch?
Illustration: During his days as president, Thomas Jefferson and a group of companions were traveling across the country on horseback. They came to a river which had left its banks because of a recent downpour. The swollen river had washed the bridge away. Each rider was forced to ford the river on horseback, fighting for his life against the rapid currents. The very real possibility of death threatened each rider, which caused a traveler who was not part of their group to step aside and watch. After several had plunged in and made it to the other side, the stranger asked President Jefferson if he would ferry him across the river. The president agreed without hesitation. The man climbed on, and shortly thereafter the two of them made it safely to the other side. As the stranger slid off the back of the saddle onto dry ground, one in the group asked him, “Tell me, why did you select the president to ask this favor of?” The man was shocked, admitting he had no idea it was the president who had helped him. “All I know,” he said, “is that on some of your faces was written the answer ‘no,’ and on some of them was the answer ‘yes.’ His was a ‘yes’ face.
Summary: A real friend helps you when you’re down.
A real friend is someone who provides emotional or physical warmth in a cold, cruel world.
IV. A real friend is someone who will fight to protect your reputation. V. 12 [Read]
A. These words were written based on military strategy of the ancient world. Almost all combat was hand to hand combat.
1. Soldiers went into battle with a partner, someone that could be counted and trusted implicitly.
-The soldiers stood back to back of one another and they always kept their back in contact and fought whatever enemy came from any side.
-Friends not only never stabbed you in the back but they guarded your back.
Thought: When someone is destroying your reputation a true friend will not put up with it. A real friend will protect your reputation.
2. A true friend will overlook your idiosyncrasies and focus on your good traits rather than your falleness.
Question: Do you stand with your friends, and when others badmouth do you stand and defend or do you sit by and watch as their reputation is slaughtered?
In Conclusion. V. 9 [Read]
The writer of Ecclesiastes wants us to understand that friendship is a good investment. A good return means dividends paid on a wise investment.
The very best investment you will ever make in life will not be a financial one, but rather the investment made in relationships.
Remember in order to have friends you must be a friend, putting their needs above your own. More specifically,
1. A real friend helps you when you’re down.
2. A real friend is someone who provides emotional or physical warmth in a cold, cruel world.
3. A real friend is someone who will fight to protect you or your reputation.
