How to Raise Your Parents
Luke 2:41-52
Luke 2:41-52
41 Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover.
42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom.
43 After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it.
44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends.
45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him.
46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.
47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.
48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?"
50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.
(NIV)
The FOUNDATION to be used when RAISING one’s parents is: HONOR them.
Exodus 20:12
12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
(NIV)
The first area I must raise concerning my parents is my opinion of them. Let’s face it: No parent is perfect and most are doing the best they can. Parents deserve an "A" for effort. In fact, in God’s economy, this effort of shaping human beings is such a good thing it deserves great honor, especially from the people who benefit from it most--the kids! It is easy for children to take for granted and/or fail to notice the work their parents do. This word “HONOR” means “to weigh heavily”. Put what they say on the scale and make sure that you weigh it heavily when you make your choices.
Children, as you RAISE your parents, recognize that the WALLS they put around you are for your good. As we children grow older, we desire and need more freedoms. Children, please be patient when your parents still see you as a “little kid” or when you seem to be growing up too fast! Parents sometimes need some vision correction to get back to the dream God has for their children.
Jesus’ parents needed a little vision correction when they could not find him with the rest of the people who were with them on the journey. Notice what Jesus did:
Luke 2:48-51
48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?"
50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
(NIV)
I can only imagine how frantic Mary was! I would venture to say that she did not ask Jesus calmly, “Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.” (Luke 2:48 KJV) Doesn’t that sound like she had spent three days trying to find Him! Mary must be mad! I don’t know if she jerked her little 12 year old rabbi around and dragged him out of the temple, but I can assure you she was not happy when she found her firstborn Son. The word used in the original means that they were dumbstruck! They could not believe that Jesus would put them through all this!
Mary asked Jesus the same question every parent asks their child when they cannot believe what this kid has put them through! “Why?” “What were you thinking?” And the twelve year old Jesus answers with the same question, “Why”, but then He reminds them about “why” he came into the world in the first place: “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49 NKJ) Don’t take this as a flippant answer from a smart aleck kid. Look what Jesus does next: “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.” (Luke 2:51 NIV)
When your parents set limits and say “NO”, don’t WHINE with a “Why?!?!” There is a right way to ask, “Why?” Accept a closed door from your parents without emotion. You may respectfully ask “Why”, but you must also respectfully obey what they say. Show that, although you may have a different perspective than your parents, you still value their views. Notice: Jesus’ parents did not understand what He was saying to them. Your parents may not understand where you’re coming from either! How do you show that you value their view?
Luke 2:51
51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.
If you are going to RAISE your parents, children, you must learn to accept their “NO’s” and obey them. If you will do so, you will learn how to make proper choices and you will gain your parents’ trust. Look what happened to Jesus and Mary as a result of this tension in the temple:
“Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
(Luke 2:51-52 NIV)
Jesus was obedient to them! He did not pitch a fit or leave the temple in a tantrum! He left with them and kept placing Himself in subjection to them. Even though Jesus would later raise the dead, he knew that His responsibility now was to raise His parents by being obedient to them!
When it says that “His mother treasured (or kept) all these things in her heart”, it does not mean she locked them away in a hope chest for safe keeping. It means that she kept these things handy in her heart, reviewing them often and thinking about what had happened.
As you RAISE your parents, put in some WINDOWS and DOORS.
Windows are for VISION (so that you can see the world around you) and for VENTILATION. Parents can sometimes get so bogged down with everyday life that they forget there is a wonderful world outside. Children need to learn how to interpret that outside world through the window of the Word of God and it is the Parents who must do the teaching!
Deuteronomy 6:6-9
6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
(NIV)
Kids, as you see the world around you and you mind comes up with questions about how this thing called life works, ASK YOUR PARENTS FIRST!!!! Don’t let your peers call all the shots! Ask your parents for perspective and demand it! You demand all kinds of other things. Demand that your parents tell you what they think! After they get over the shock that you value their take on a subject, what they have to say may surprise you. Your parents may make sense after all!
Windows are also used for ventilation. Parents, CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET MAD, how to let off steam without scalding everyone around them.
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down
while you are still angry,
27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)
Paul is quoting from the Psalms 4:4. Perhaps he had learned this song as a child, maybe his mother sang to him, “Be ye angry, and sin not.” Far too many parents fall into sin and then get angry over it! Children need to know that it is okay to be angry. There are things that will make you mad. But in our anger we are not to give a foothold to the devil by bottling it up and nursing that grudge. Open the windows of your life, let out the steam, and welcome the fresh air. Children, make sure your parents open the window!
Doors are for ENTRANCE and EXIT. That is not the job of windows and walls. Our entrances and exits are limited to the doors. Children, as you RAISE your parents, help them to understand that life is full of entrances and exits. You need to know when its right to step through that door and when to slam it closed. Demand that they be involved when you have choices to make.
The raising of a house is not complete without a ROOF. The roof is for protecting what is inside. Relationships build during the blood, sweat, and tears of the wonder years with children must be protected from the storms that life brings. The roof protecting relationships is TRUST. Children grow up. So do parents! The next encounter the Bible records an exchange between Mary and Jesus is found at the wedding in Cana.
Jesus is now a grown man, with an entourage of disciples following Him and getting on the job training. Mary requests Jesus’ assistance at the wedding reception.
John 2:3-5
3 When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him,
"They have no more wine."
4 "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied.
"My time has not yet come."
5 His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
(NIV)
When Jesus responds, he seems a bit cold. But notice Mary’s reaction. She had grown up! She trusted Jesus! She knew that Jesus would do the right thing! You can tell when a parent is properly raised when they show that they trust their children to do the right thing.
The building of trust is like ROOFING a house. As you put on a roof, shingles must be layered in a certain way so there are no leaks. Trust is build one LAYER at a time, beginning with the BOTTOM rung. Children, as you raise the roof with your parents, overlapping obedience will cause trust to grow. Mary learned to trust Jesus to do the right thing, because he had done the right thing when He was younger! Doing right in the small things makes you grow up in your parent’s eyes.
Children, are you doing what it takes to RAISE YOUR PARENTS?
