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I. INTRODUCTION
So what do you think? Fair deal? That word commitment – it’ll get you everytime!
So what do you want out of marriage?
Is it what you expected when you made those famous vows?
Lastly, what are you willing to do to make it all God wants it to be?
ILL: Christian Globe says this in regards to Commitment in Marriage:
Back in 1870’s there was one divorce for every 34 marriages.
By 1900, one in five marriages ended in divorce.
Today, one out of every two marriages ends in divorce
I think you would agree that there’s a problem somewhere. I wonder if it could be because we expect it to be that fairy tale only to find out it’s the hardest thing we will ever do.
And truly, if there is one thing I have learned – it’s exactly that. If my marriage is going to be worth a flip, I’ve had to accept it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tackled! How about you? And it is because of my expectations of the word ‘Commitment’
Our study of Ephesians brings us to this subject of marriage in a round of bout way. Actually as we saw last week, he does discuss marriage but in line with a deeper subject.
A. Last week, we saw that Paul’s actual command was:
1. “Be Filled With The Spirit” (VERSE 18b)
a. Submitting to One Another (VERSE 21)
b. Paul addressing the 3 Household Codes (VERSE 22/3, 6:1, 6:5)
c. Saw God’s Intention: Woman – not man/animal & to be a helper
2. 1st Household Code: Marriage
1. Looked at two words, Submission and Headship.
Submission – In subjection to another
Headship – To lead (Not Over/Under)
B. This Week – The Commitment It Takes to follow God’s Way of Marriage.
Screen: What Paul is showing in this section is 2 Keys to a Successful Marriage: Commitment to God and Commitment to Each Other
1. All of Chapter 5 ..to walk the calling… we must ..to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
2. We can’t do marriage God’s way unless we are off the throne.
3. Are you willing? What’s your marriage worth?
4. Committed to The Lord Jesus; Committed to your Spouse for the Long Haul
When you got married, you made a commitment. What did it mean?
PRAYER
I. THE WIFE’S ROLE
VERSE 22-24
First, that word submission. From vs. 21:
“submit – as to the Lord” – Not because you must – but because you love him.
A. Why? Verses 23/4 tell you.
As the Lord is head of church – husband is head of home
As the Lord saves and protects (Savior) the church – so is husband is to save and protector the wife
“as the church is subject to Christ” in everything so the wife is …subject to husband…everything.
1. It’s not an over/under relationship.
The Lord doesn’t force Himself
He doesn’t lord Himself
Instead, he gave Himself.
2. And the church, because of the Lord’s love for it, loves the Father & is obedient– in everything.
John 14.15 we keep because we love (not because we must – we want)
3. So the wife – because of the husbands love – will follow – will be subjective (v. 24) in everything.
Pr. 31:12 “she does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
1 Ti. 3:11 “likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.”
The wife, as the helpmate God intended for her to be is to love, encourage, lift up, support, and recognize the husband as the head of the home.
II. THE HUSBAND’S ROLE
Now, husbands, let’s talk about your role in the home. You are to be (as we saw in 22-24) the head of the wife. Let’s look closely at what that means.
A. First, notice it’s “AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”
VERSE 25-27
He begins – first thing –to love our wives.
25- “Love your wives”, 28- “love their own wives”, & 33- “so love his own wife”
“as Christ loved the church”- Verse 25
A love that places her worth above your worth!
Phil 2.6 “being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself nothing”
Headship is NOT an Over/Under relationship.
Vs. 26 - “that He might sanctify (set apart) and cleanse her” – “he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot (perfect) and without blemish”
Oh What A Comparison!
1. Christ: Gave of Himself – so that he sanctified the church and cleansed the church (the body of Christ) – All that is taking place right now is preparing the church to one day be presented back to Christ as the bride of Christ.
2. Husband (Now the comparison to husband) – To give of himself (as Christ did) – taking his wife just as she is – with all her faults or imperfections (as Christ took you), he places his wife as the top – of his life (without fault – unconditional).
A Love: without restrictions. -- without conditions. -- without over/under.
Why? is perfect -- is set apart -- without flaw –just right just -- you are just right for Christ.
So first, we see that a husband’s love for his wife is unconditional – with no restrictions or limitations
B. 2ND, WE SEE A LOVE FOR HIS WIFE AS FOR HIMSELF – IN A SPIRIT OF ONENESS. (SCREEN) 2ND - A LOVE AS ONE.
VERSES 28-30
“love wives as their own bodies” – Why? Because we are one. Jump to VERSE 31.
Vs. 31 – “two shall become one flesh”
1. If we really understood the meaning here, homes would be different today. When we made those vows that one day – we (in God’s eyes) became one flesh.
2. Our commitment to God was that we ALL THREE would be as one!
Commit to God – Commit to each other. (I am not an artist but picture this illustration) Growing Triangle.
“nourish and cherish” “just as the Lord does the church” (29)
Nourish means to train to bring up – Remember the day!
Cherish – To value – To warm
We to nourish and cherish each other to become the one unit – One marriage.
De. 24:5 “when a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go to war or be charged with any business, he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his new wife who he has taken”.
Make your Commitment – Forever “two shall become one flesh”
ILL: I heard of a couple who, as they were paying for groceries in the check-out line, were discussing their soon to be 50th wedding anniversary, when the young cashier interjected by saying, "I can’t imagine being married to same man for 5o years!"
The wife wisely replied, teaching the young girl a lesson at the same time, "Well, Honey, don’t get married until you can ."
APPL: Marriage – God’s Way requires work. It requires time. It requires nurturing, caring for, maturing. And we don’t do that today. We become a widow in marriage today but not because one dies but because something else becomes more important.
You or your spouse becomes a widow –because something takes the place of what once was. A golf widow; a career widow, a child widow.
What’s taken the place of love in your home? Marriage must be nurtured and matured – It must be cherished and cared for.
God hates divorce. It’s not acceptable to him. Hear from a divorced minister. There are times when there is no other way but hear me – you best be prepared for the consequences of that decision.
Ec. 9:9 “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity. For that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.”
Literal Meaning: Marry with commitment, keep faithfully attached to the wife thou hast chosen, and rejoice in the labor of thy hands
Verse 31/2
We looked at this last week a little.
It’s not a case of who God created first and that means that one is better. That’s absurd. But what is worth noting is that God did create woman to be a help mate to man and that both became one flesh. Just as the Gentile became equal to the Jew; Just as every person (regardless of race creed or color) became equal, just as Male became equal to Female – they are to be helpmates to the other.
That would say team! Yes the male is the head but his wife is part of his team.
III. CONCLUSION
Marriage is tough. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted to tackle before in my life. In fact, I can’t do it. It’s too much. But in too many marriage today – they FAIL because the husband or the wife try to make it work on their own.
They fail because they try and face the obstacles of marriage on their own. THAT’S NOT MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY (HEAR ME) AND IT WILL FAIL – I GUARANTEE IT!
REMEMBER Paul’s beginning to this psassage:
VERSE 18
You want your marriage to turn around. You COMMIT YOURSELF to being filled with the Spirit. You COMMIT YOUR MARRIAGE INTO GOD’S HANDS AND GOD’S WAY AND I GUARANTEE YOU IT WILL MAKE IT.
I don’t care what state your marriage is in – IT’S NOT TOO LATE! GOD IS STILL HERE! The question is this: “Is it worth it?”
Some of you may be saying, but you don’t understand: To much has been said. Too much hurt – there’s no way – we’re too far gone. I Know – I’ve Been There.
That problem – that attitude – that struggle – whatever it may be – YES IT’S TOO BIG FOR YOU. BUT IT’S NOT TO BIG FOR GOD.
ILL: Do you remember the story about Tony Toto, of Allentown, PA.? He operated a pizza parlor there. Tony Toto survived at least 5 attempts on his life, all arranged for or carried out by his dear wife, Frances, & her lover.
Twice she arranged for assailants to beat him over the head with baseball bats. On one occasion she put a tripwire across the basement stairs in their house, hoping that he would trip over it & plummet to his death.
Twice she arranged for him to be shot. The first time she drugged his chicken soup so he would sleep soundly, & he was shot in the head, but miraculously survived. The 2nd time he was shot in the chest, but only sustained minor injuries. Now this is a picture of a real happy couple, isn’t it?
Even more miraculous than Tony’s survival was his attitude toward his wife once he found out she was responsible for all of this. Tony, a self?confessed lady’s man himself, said that he held his wife blameless.
When she was found guilty & sent to prison for arranging for his murder, he took their 4 children & visited her every week - every single week. Then when she was released from prison, she went back to their red brick home to resume her married life with Tony.
With his arm around her, Tony said, "We’re more in love now than ever before. I don’t understand why people break up over silly little things
So what’s it worth?
4 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE:
1. Be full of the Spirit – “Walk in Wisdom”- Lordship.
2. Wife – submit yourself to your husband as to the Lord.
3. Husbands – Love your wives as the Lord loves the church.
4. Nurture and Cherish Your Marriage – It’s worth it!
And IN THAT ORDER!
