If There is Sin, What Then?
Matthew 18:15-20
(Given at an associational meeting)
All of our churches have the same main problem. It isn’t the number of baptisms we had last year. It isn’t how much we gave to missions. It’s simple. Your church has this problem, my church has this problem, every church on earth has this problem because every human being on earth has this problem. Sin.
Sin is the most basic and most fundamental problem of every church. That rebelliousness that tells God, “I’ve got another way of doing it.”
How do we move away from sin’s influence in the church to grow in holiness? Many churches preach against sin, yet do virtually nothing about it.
Jesus gave us very clear commands of how to deal with sin.
Matthew 18:15-20 (ESV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
You know, when I was in school, we got taught how to deal with one of the most destructive forces on earth: fire. If we were ever in a fire and our clothes caught flame, the instructions for our own safety and survival were very simple: STOP, DROP, and ROLL. For anyone who would do this, they would be assured the flames would hurt them no more. But for anyone who would not follow these simple commands, the fire would continue its damage until it consumed its victim entirely.
There is something more destructive than fire. It’s sin.
Yes, brothers and sisters, the church is made up of redeemed sinners, but it is not meant to be a place for sin to breed and grow. It is not meant to be a place where sin is given a wink here, a chuckle there, a blind eye, or an embrace of tolerance within the church.
I mentioned to one of our brothers here that I was considering preaching a Scripture passage that dealt with church discipline, and he jokingly said for a title, “My way, or the highway.” Some people think that’s what this is all about.
I mentioned to a brother who was heading off to seminary last fall about the church’s desperate need for practicing church discipline as Jesus taught it, and he told me he had never heard of it before.
So I don’t assume this is familiar to each of you. Discipline is not a well-accepted word in this day and time. We think it’s overly restrictive, and that we should ignore it for the sake of personal freedom.
I hope you won’t tune this out- some of you will be wondering how this helps bring people to Christ, how this really is a part of our mission, and I will answer those things.
Now, I want you to relax for a moment. Church discipline is not about a witch hunt. It’s not about practicing a judgmental attitude, or mean-spiritedness. It’s not about humiliating another person. It’s not a way to get even with someone who wronged you. There are a lot of ways it should never be done, because it can be done wrong- yet it is equally wrong to avoid doing it, as if Jesus never said anything about the subject.
Some of you may hear this message and grow fearful I am teaching some form of perfectionism in order to be accepted by God. Let me assure you I am not- the cross signifies God graciously accepts repentant sinners who believe the Gospel, not those who have performed a perfect life. But on the other hand, we must not be neglectful of the call upon us to holiness, for God has said, “Be holy, as I am holy.” Church discipline is more about restoration than punishment. It’s about people being reclaimed, and keeping each other from sin. It is like surgery that corrects something wrong so that more serious injury does not result.
Baptist historian Gregory Wills discovered that after the Civil War, discipline in churches declined in part due to churches growing larger. He said, “Urban churches, pressed by the need for large buildings and the desire for refined music and preaching, subordinated church discipline to the task of keeping the church solvent. Many Baptists shared a new vision of the church, replacing the pursuit of purity with the quest for efficiency. No Baptist leader arose to call for an end to congregational censures. No theologians argued that discipline was unsound in principle or practice… It simply faded away, as if Baptists had grown weary of holding one another accountable.”
If sin happens, or perhaps, when sin happens, this is what we are taught to do.
The first step is,
I. Privately confront the offender.
What are you supposed to do when someone has wronged you? Gossip? Call all your friends to get your support? Start plotting your revenge? No. You are not told even to sweep it all under the rug and avoid the person. You are not told to leave the church to go out in search of the perfect one.
Look at verse 15:
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
There’s no mention here of the pastor, or deacons, or even a discipline committee. It’s you. You might say, I can’t do that. I’m not a confrontational person. I’m too loving. Friends with all due respect, you are not loving enough, if you would let your brother or sister persist in sin.
The best way to handle a problem you have with another Christian is to talk about it, face-to-face. Notice it says, “if your brother.” Sisters, I think you are implied here also. This is not so much a plan for dealing with conflict with the world, but within the church. Jesus taught us to make this a priority in Matthew 5:
if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
We have no right to nurse grudges, whine about our wounds, and resist efforts at healing. We are to take the first step – to risk the engagement- that can lead to a restored relationship. We are to do this with gentleness and with love toward that person, the kind of love God showed you in forgiving you.
This passage stresses something very important to us: first of all, that our relationship with one another in the body of Christ is extremely important, and secondly, that our faithfulness to God is something we are accountable for.
Did you know this is why we have church membership? It isn’t so you can get cheap cemetery plots. It is to say, this is the family of God I am accountable to for my life.
Too many times we act like Cain… remember Cain? He killed his brother, and then he had the nerve to ask God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Uh, yeah! But here we are 5000 years later, and if we are not careful, we neglect this sacred responsibility as well.
When a person sins against you, they are not only breaking fellowship with you, they are breaking fellowship with God also. Jesus doesn’t say, “learn to live with it.” He doesn’t even say, “You know, nice people just go with the flow.” No. He says, “Heal it. Here’s how.”
Why don’t we do this more often? I suppose we are concerned about backlash if that person gets defensive.
ILL: Richard Belcher tells the story of a pastor who came to a church in pretty rough shape, spiritually speaking. There was a dear older lady there named Miss Lilly who always was warm to the pastor. She made him cookies and cakes and had a big smile on her face. One night, the pastor got the call Miss Lilly had been in a car accident. As the pastor was getting read to go see her in the hospital, the phone rang. Someone in the church told him, "Miss Lilly has been charged with a DUI." As he went to the hospital, he prayed how he could lovingly respond to this problem. He visited with Miss Lilly, caring for her, praying for her, showing his love. Then he said, "Miss Lilly, I understand you may have a problem. I’d like to help you." Miss Lilly became a different person. She was furious! As the pastor was starting to receive this "new" Miss Lilly, other church members walked in, seeing Miss Lilly visibly angry. "What’s wrong, Miss Lilly?" "The preacher just told me I’m going to hell!" (Source: A Journey in Purity by Richard Belcher- an EXCELLENT, enjoyable source as a pastor wrestles with church discipline. I have paraphrased the account here.)
APP:
Many are simply afraid of conflict and confrontation. We are aware that we might get involved in conflict who doesn’t play by the same set of rules.
Brothers and sisters, sometimes it is the lack of confrontation that causes as much conflict as anything else! Mold in the home or gangrene in the human body do the most damage when they are not confronted, and they are worth the cost of confrontation. In fact, we would count it foolish not to confront those things.
One pastor noticed, “Many church fellowships and small groups remain superficial because they are afraid of conflict. Whenever an issue comes up that might cause tension or discomfort, it is immediately glossed over in order to preserve a false sense of peace. Mr. ‘Don’t Rock the Boat’ jumps in and tries to smooth everyone’s ruffled feathers, the issue is never resolved, and everyone lives with an underlying frustration. Everyone knows about the problem, but no one talks about it openly. This creates a sick environment of secrets where gossip thrives.”
When we don’t stand up to sin in the church, others in the church will become tired of their hurtful behavior and the church will eventually self-destruct.
Peacemaking does not happen by avoiding conflict. It happens by addressing it in a way that honors God.
We should not put things ahead of holiness. No matter who they are related to, how long they’ve been in the church, how abundantly they may give in money or time to the church- sin needs to be dealt with.
But such private confrontation must always surround the Word of God, and not the rules of man. Don’t confront someone because they didn’t do things your way. Be sure it is something God calls sin.
The goal of this process is not kicking someone out of church if they sin against us. Sinning against each other does not call for immediate disqualification fro the church. But if we say nothing, all we do is give legs to sin in the church. We enable it. We allow it to grow stronger. Sin needs darkness to grow- it needs isolation disguised as “privacy.” Jesus does not say to run away from our brother or sister who sins against us. The goal is their repentance and restoration, that is turning away from sin, and to obedience to God.
Now in a perfect world, all conflicts would get resolved at this level. At this level, you win your brother. You gain back that valuable treasure that had been lost. I had the occasion in the last year where a brother saw something in my character he confronted me about, and I said to him, “Thank you for loving me enough to offer this correction.”
Confronting someone is not necessarily easy, but it is always godly. Don’t be afraid to confront an offender even if you suspect you will only get pride and ugliness in return. Sadly, many people do not acknowledge any authority greater than themselves, and they’ll resent it. Be more concerned about their restoration to the body than how you are treated.
So Jesus says sins against each other are to find private resolution, even without knowledge of the pastor. But sometimes that doesn’t happen. Sometimes, the two involved can’t see the big picture. Or perhaps one of the persons is stubborn and refuses to repent. So Jesus says there is another step to take.
II. Establish the facts.
Jesus said in verse 16, “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
One of the problems that can develop when a brother or sister sins against someone, is that the story gets changed and transformed. There’s a tweaking and twisting of the facts, a shifting of the blame, and all you have left is a warped version of what really happened.
Notice the sin should still be a fairly private matter at this moment. Those that go along are witnesses, not cheerleaders. Because in such situations, facts matter most, not feelings, not previous relationships, not rumors.
Sometimes, we are all slow to repent. Sometimes we all make excuses for our behavior and try to justify it. Jesus calls the offended to take along one or two more with them not only to establish the facts, but that it might further encourage repentance.
But if that is a fruitless experience, there is still one more step to go.
III. The congregation needs to act.
If sin lingers this long, what are we to do? Drop it? Let it linger in the shadows? Not according to Jesus.
Notice this is not the first step. A church business meeting must never be the first place a sin is to be confronted, unless that sin is of a particularly severe and public nature. Notice also the final responsibility does not belong to the pastor, but the whole congregation!
Now, if a church has to get to this step, it is a sorrowful and serious moment. It is not enjoyable, any more than serving as a juror is enjoyable. I would compare it to paying taxes- none of us enjoy writing checks to Uncle Sam, but we know the consequences of not paying it is far worse, and that this is part of being a responsible citizen.
The members of the church should hear the matter responsibly, and without partiality.
No one should look forward to it, but to neglect it is equally dangerous.
Fairfields has some rich history on this. In 1845, the church was in its second year, and Dr. Kirk was the pastor. A member was excluded for adultery. But I want you to imagine what would have happened if Dr. Kirk had taught the church, “Oh, just let it go. We need their giving and we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Besides, we want a bigger building. We don’t want them to stop coming to church.”
Sometimes, churches are afraid to follow through with this because they fear it will cause their self-destruction. In our own church’s history that year, 3 people were baptized, 5 were disciplined, and 6 died. But less than 5 years later, the church membership had grown considerably and they had difficulty seating everyone who wanted to come to church! They even had to build more space so that people could hear the Gospel!
Being called a member of the church of Jesus Christ is not anyone’s right. It is a privilege given by God’s grace working in one’s heart when they are saved. And it is a privilege the congregation may remove when necessary.
Some of you may say that sounds so unloving. Friends, since Jesus said to do it, it is the most loving thing you can do, if it needs to be done, and if it is done in a humble manner. Correcting sin for the purpose of bringing their repentance is far more loving toward that person, even if they resent it, than of tolerating their sinfulness.
What if the congregation hearing this matter does not result in reconciliation and repentance?
Jesus said to treat them as a tax-collector or Gentile- in other words, as a non-believer.
Why would we do this? The same reason we send children to their rooms when they disobey their parents. It encourages repentance. It is not so we may feel superior to them. It is so they might be truly sorrowful for their sin and turn from it.
Now maybe you’ve been thinking all along, doesn’t Jesus say, “Do not judge.” Yes, he does in Matthew 7. What does he mean? Let me ask you something- when your church called a pastor, did they make judgments about him? When you got married, did you make any judgments about that person you married? Of course you did. Were you wrong to do that, were you disobeying what Jesus said when He said, “Do not judge?” No. The key to that passage is context. Jesus is saying do not make hypocritical judgments. Do not judge another as if you have no sin yourself, as if there are two different standards for you and for that other person. In 1 Corinthians 5, the church was just tolerating a man who was sleeping with his father’s wife? The apostle under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit reproves the church,
"For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. Purge the evil from among you.”
It is not deciding where they will spend eternity. Brothers and sisters, judging such matters is not playing God. But it is obeying God.
Does Church Discipline contradict God’s commandment to love? No. In fact, 2 John tells us, “this is love that we walk according to His commandments.” It is an expression of love. It is a training tool to lead believers toward faithfulness to God.
This idea that “I take care of me, you take care of you, and never the twain shall meet” is very American, but it’s not Christian. We’re to be each others accountability partners.
This is how God’s love is described in Scripture. Hebrews says, “For those whom the Lord loves, he disciplines and scourges every son whom he receives, for what son is there whom the father does not discipline.”
(Illustrations about disciplining our own children are most appropriate here. The need to tell them no and enforce consequences. There is no substantive difference between disciplining a child and disciplining a church member- many of the same principles apply.)
Friends, I grieve the number of negligent people our churches still call members. How can we do this with integrity? How can we include these in our testimony when they have abandoned us years ago? Non-attendance is often the sin that covers up many others.
To my brothers who are fellow pastors here, teach your people obedience to Jesus in this area very carefully and very patiently. This is nothing to rush into. This is not something to do without the formative disciplines of preaching, teaching, having spiritual conversations, and building a sense of accountability in our churches. Sometimes, it takes a while for a congregation to grasp what is taught here. Brothers, be patient and prayerful, even when people misunderstand you.
To my brothers and sisters who are church members here, will you support your pastors in teaching obedience to Jesus in this area? Yes, you’ll have some people in your church resistant to this. Will you go with them to the Scriptures and show them how we are to be obedient to Jesus? Stand with your pastor when he stands on the Word of God- even if it causes disagreement. Yes, you’ll find people who will receive no correction well, much like a small child throwing a fit. But our faithfulness needs to be to Jesus, and not to the whims of man.
I told you I would answer some of the questions I thought might be bothering you.
How does this help bring people to Christ?
Your church gives a testimony, whether you are aware of it or not, whether it is good or bad. When non-believing people come in contact with your church, many of them are inspecting it carefully. In many cases, they’ve got a better nose for what is good and what is bad in your church than you do. You say, well, I’ve been going there for years. Yeah, but if you’re not careful, you can get in the trap of just getting used to everything and accepting it.
Your pastor can tell you how heartbreaking it is when a non-believer points out behaviors in the church that don’t belong there.
Obeying Jesus in this area communicates not only to our own congregation that we take His authority and His person seriously, but it also communicates that to the lost. It communicates we believe in the reality of changed lives as a result of God’s grace.
When they see Jesus in us, God often uses that to warm their hearts to the Gospel, and to hunger for the Word. When they see sin, apathy, negligence, and carelessness among us, it doesn’t matter how good the preaching is, they see the hypocrisy. And many will conclude there is nothing special about our Gospel, or our Savior. Could there be a greater myth we could spread?
May it not be!
How is this a part of our mission?
Isn’t the question is, how well do we understand our mission? Our mission is more than performing good deeds, evangelism, or even baptizing new believers. It is walking by the obedience of faith, trusting and obeying God in all that He has revealed to us, because our chief aim is to enjoy and glorify Him.
Our mission is not to make our churches bigger, as if we are a business. Our mission is to glorify God, because He has been gracious to us to save us through Jesus and we are now both His children and His servants.
We must be concerned with bringing sinners back to God. We are Christ’s ambassadors. May God find us faithful.
