Sex and the City of God April 23, 2006
Biblical Theology of Sex and Sexuality
Show Nooma Flame video – 11 minutes
I just love Rob’s interpretation of the verse from Song of Songs: “You know whatever this is, It’s so good, it’s so beautiful that we can’t do anything to mess this up.”
I feel a little like that as I approach the topic of sex and sexuality in this sermon. The way that the Bible talks about it is so good, so beautiful, that I don’t want to say anything that will mess it up!
But as Rod said “maybe our culture has no clue what true sexuality really looks like. Maybe the world around us, when it comes to sex, just doesn’t get it.”
The problem is that the world around us doesn’t have a problem with spreading its ignorance everywhere. When it comes to sexuality, the media and the culture are downright evangelistic about promoting their lack of understanding.
So, at the risk of messing it up, I am going to try to give a whirlwind Biblical theology of Sex and Sexuality this morning.
Genesis 1:27-31
So God created human beings in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
In the second telling of the creation of humanity in Genesis 2:20-25, it says this;
“the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. …
… The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." …
… But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ’woman, ’
for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
There is so much to say about these two passages, but one of the most important thing to know is that God created this physical world and he created us as physical beings and he declared it GOOD. Because we live in both the physical world, and the spiritual (or unseen) world, we can get confused that the physical world is not so good. I’ve even heard people say, “You know the spiritual world is even more real than the physical world!” as if there was a competition. They are both real, and the physical world is not the “b-side” to the spiritual world “a-side.” When Christ comes again, we will all be raised up in physical bodies and the Earth will be renews, and God will make his dwelling among us. We do not look forward to a spiritual eternal life, we look forward to a redeemed, physical, resurrected eternal life!
God creates us as physical beings, and it is good.
God creates us as gendered beings and it is good.
God creates us as sexual beings and it is good.
There is almost this thought that there was no sex in the Garden of Eden before the fall, but the command to “be fruitful and multiply” is a command that comes before Adam and Eve sin. It is difficult to obey that command without sexual relations.
God created us as sexual beings. As Nicky Gumbel says, he’s not looking down from heaven and saying “my, my, what will they think of next!”
God created sex and sexuality and it is part of all that he calls “good” – good: beautiful, honourable, pure: good.
The Song of Songs or the Song of Solomon gets the God-declared goodness of sex and sexuality. Listen to a portion of this love song:
He:
I liken you, my darling, to a mare
harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh.
Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.
She:
While the king was at his table,
my perfume spread its fragrance.
My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
from the vineyards of En Gedi.
He:
How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.
She:
How handsome you are, my lover!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.
I am a rose of Sharon,
a lily of the valleys.
He
Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the maidens.
She:
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
He has taken me to the banquet hall,
and his banner over me is love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
Song of Songs 1:9-2:6
To be honest, I believe that the poetry of the Song of Songs does a much better job of detailing the beauty of sexuality that I ever will by trying to communicate a Biblical theology of sexuality. But we continue on…
Purpose of sex
Intimacy & unity
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Sex is a sign of the unity between a man and a woman, but it also acts as a force that binds us together. I the movie “Vanilla Sky,” after Tom Cruise dumps Cameron Diaz, she will not let him go, and verges on stalking him. She says to him, ““Don’t you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not?” She might as well been quoting Paul who says, speaking of sexual sin, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 1 Corinthians 6:16
This is why there is no such thing as casual sex – Lauren Winner, in her excellent book “Real Sex: the Naked Truth About Chastity,” says that while we might feel casual about sex, sex itself, because of how it united the beings of two people is never casual.
Pleasure
Another thing that Nicky Gumbel says on this topic is that God created pleasure, the devil didn’t. The pleasure that we receive from really good food, from seeing and smelling a rose, from a beautiful mountain scene and from sex all comes from God. That pleasure is something sacred. That is why Paul says “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” - Ephesians 5:4. When the church has said in the past that sex is only for procreation, they missed the beauty and pleasure that God created it for. The pleasure is to be given and received, not taken.
Procreation
Although we are wrong to say that procreation is the only purpose of sex, in sex, a husband and wife join in the creative process with God in the beginning of new life. It is a wonderful thing that God enables us to partner in creation through physical love!
A Way to know God More Fully
In his book “Sex and the Supremacy of Christ” John Piper says that “(God’s) goal in creating human beings with personhood and passion was to make sure that there would be sexual language and sexual images that would point to the promises and the pleasures of God’s relationship to his people and our relationship to him. In other words, the ultimate reason (not the only one) why we are sexual is to make God more deeply knowable. The language and imagery of sexuality are the most graphic and most powerful that the Bible uses to describe the relationship between God and his people – both positively (when we are faithful) and negatively (when we are not)” p. 26
I don’t agree with John that this is the ultimate reason why God created us this way, but God does use this language to help us know him better.
God’s purpose for Sex.
I want to push what Rob Bell said a little further. He says, “When you separate the flames, it can never really satisfy. It’s like you’re living outside of how God wired you to live.” That is true – God’s ways are the best ways, and living outside them is a recipe for ultimate dissatisfaction. But God’s will is greater that just the “best way.”
The Bible is pretty obvious that the only place for Dod (sexual love) is in the presence of A’hava (committed love) This committed love is not just a decision that we make – “I decide that she is the girl for me & therefore we can be joined together in sexual unity.” the A’hava that opens the door for Dod is a vow that we make together before God and others in marriage. A decision made in the heat of the moment that your girlfriend or boyfriend is your life-mate is not enough – you need to seal that felt a’hava with the enacted a’hava of marriage vows.
God has given us this gift of sex, and he has declared it sacred. Sacred means “set apart.” If utensils for the temple we declared sacred, they were set apart for use only in the temple – to use them outside of that context was to defile them. In the same way, to use sex outside the bonds of marriage is to defile it. There are two main concepts for sexual sin in the Bible – one is adultery – or infidelity: having sex with someone when you and or they are married to someone else. The other is translated as fornication in the older translations, or sexual immorality in the newer translations. While you may want to make up you own meaning for this word, or accept someone else’s meaning. When it was first written, it was simple; it means sex outside the bonds of marriage.
Sexual sin has been given a greater emphasis in the church down through the ages, and you may wonder why. Paul explains it this way: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18
In this explanation Paul has a high view of sex – that it is an act that is greater than it looks, and a high view of our physical bodies – they are not just some plaything that we can do whatever with, but they too are sacred – temples of the Holy Spirit!
So what if you have acted outside of God’s will for sex and your body? The great news is that although there is a highlighting of sexual sin in the Bible because of its effect, it is not less forgivable than any other sin. Paul writes to the Christians in Corinth and says: “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
I love that line “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed…” God’s boundaries for sex are hugely important, but if you have crossed those boundaries, it is not over for you, you are not “damaged goods” God forgives you, and he can heal the effect of the sin in your life! You cannot step so low that God’s love will not reach down and pick you up again.
There is so much to be said on this topic, and we will say more in the coming weeks, but this has been the beginning of an overview.
I’ll leave with the blessing that Rob Bell shared:
May you honor the way that God created you.
“May you have a profound sense of respect for the fact that you are a deeply spiritual and mysterious being, and that love is ultimately a profoundly spiritual thing.
May you realize that the three flames are meant to burn together.
And may you discover the big flame.”
