Steppin Up To A New Level Of Thinking About Sex
GNLCC 4/2/06 Song Of Songs 7:1-9 1 Corinthians 7:1-8
Now for those of you who were paying attention during the Scripture reading, you would have noticed that a man is describing how beautiful his naked wife is to him. He described the movement of her legs, the beauty of her navel, the curves on her hips, the excitement in her eyes, her breast, her nose, her hair, and her head. He went on to say you stand fine and tall like a palm tree and the coconuts sitting at the top of the tree remind me of the deliciousness of your breasts. I got to climb that tree and grab hold of its fruit. Now I want you to notice that this passage is just as much the word of God as John 3:16.
If you want to step up to a new level of thinking about sex, you need to see what God’s perspective was and is on sex. First of all let me tell you that God is pro-Sex. When He created Adam and Eve, he commanded them to have sex with each other. He said, Be fruitful and multiply. There were people who believed that the sin Adam and Eve committed was not eating from a tree as the word of God clearly states, but that they had sex with each other and somehow God got upset. Nothing could be further from the truth.
God designed men and women to be sexual creatures. God tells us to marry and to become one flesh with each other. God expects sex to be a delightful experience. If you read Proverbs, you will see God instructing men to enjoy the wife of their youth, and to let her body please and satisfy you at all times. If you read the rest of Song of Songs, you will see a lady looking forward to having sex with her husband as something pleasurable and desirable. In the New Testament, husbands and wives are told they have a right to enjoy each other’s body. God designed sex so that it feels good. God gave us sex also for the building of commitment of two people to each other in marriage.
God has been consistent with his position on sex since the dawn of creation. His position has been and still is, I have given you sex as a means for you to express yourself and your love for each other fully and intimately within marriage. God is glorified when a husband and a wife express themselves in a loving sexual relationship. Sex is such a pure and wholesome image that God uses it to describe the relationship between Christ and the Church. That is why the church is called the bride of Christ.
For some reason we allowed Satan to come and steal what God had created and sex became something dirty and nasty and you were not suppose to talk about it. You had to learn about it in the streets, or at some sleepover or in junior high health class. It is amazing to me, how kids think the idea of their parents having sex is abnormal and weird, but that it’s natural for people on TV’s and movies to jump in the bed with just anybody at anytime. Isn’t it something that some couples don’t mind their kids hearing them yelling and screaming at each other at home, but they want to make sure the kids do not hear them possibly having sex with each other. Which situation is God being more glorified, During the arguing or during the sex. Maybe if more kids knew their parents were regularly having sex, it would take some out of the mystery out of sex.
Now God is very consistent with his views on sex, but not so our society. On the one hand our society says sex is great. It’s wonderful. Go out and have a great time. There is nothing wrong with it. But then it turns around and says, sex can leave some serious psychological problems when it is not used properly. Many of us have brought into the idea, that there is nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage.
Why shouldn’t kids and teens have a good time with sex. Why shouldn’t two consenting adults have a great time with sex? What’s marriage got to do with it? Even if you’re married, how does it hurt to play the field a little bit? We enjoy being sexual creatures. Why do we wear tight fitting clothes and short dresses? We want to be desired by the opposite sex? We want to flirt. We want to flaunt what we have. We want to use our power that comes along with sex. That desire to use that power is starting at earlier and earlier ages. The fights in our home about what is appropriate to wear and what is not keeps moving back in time. The fight over what age to start dating heats up younger and younger. Just remember, the younger you start dating, the greater your chances of becoming sexually active.
On the one hand our society tells teens, its okay as long as you have safe sex, but then we still have this uneasiness that something is wrong. Let’s take Rayshawn for instance who was in 1lth grade and was 18. He was aware of this fine ninth grader Quita who has the body of 16 year old but is only 13. Rayshawn. Rayshawn’s sister who is 14 has a sleepover. Quita is at the sleepover. When Rayshawn comes home that night, Quita makes a move at him and leaves to sneak up to his room. They have sex. Quita asks if he’s going to be her boyfriend. He says no, “all he wanted was a good night.” Now some of you might think Ray got lucky.
But what Ray has done has put himself at the mercy of Quita. What happens if she gets upset and says he forced her to do it? Even if she doesn’t, if her parents are upset after finding out and they press charges, Rayshawn is guilty of Section 2907.4 which says no person 18 or older shall engage in sex with a person who is a minor between the ages of 13 and 15. It is a felony of the fourth degree. But if Quinta had turned 14 it would be a misdemeanor of the 4th degree, but if Rayshawn had of been 23 it would be a felony of the third degree.
Now how many of you know that Quita knew exactly what she was doing whether Rayshawn was 15, 17, 21, or 29? Why would Rayshawn have been okay if he was 17 or 16 but not 18. So what is it that makes our society feel uneasy about sex. We play these games, that if a person has any kind of authority over you, you are unable to make an informed decision about sex. For instance 17 year old is capable of choosing to have sex with anyone she or he pleases, so long as the person is not a coach, a teacher, or anyone with any authority including a security guard at the school she or he attends.
Under the new proposed law in Ohio if you have sex with a girl or boy under 13, you will have a mandatory 15 year to life sentence which is what you can get for murder. If there are no negative effects of sex, then why do we equate sex with a 12 year old on the same level as murder. It is because we know that sex is more than simply a physical act of putting a vagina and penis together.
God’s word has indicates that something more takes place in sex than the exchange of body fluids because God designed for something far greater than that. There is a spiritual and emotional dimension to sex. This is why when a person is raped and sexually abused, it leaves devastating consequences for the person. But even when its two people consenting there is a spiritual and emotional component being exchanged that will leave an emptiness and abuse, because you’re taking something that cannot lawfully belong to you. The only way you can have entitlement to another person’s body through God’s eyes is through marriage. And the only way you can get authority to give away your own body is through marriage. So sex always involves an illegal taking of a part of another person’s body.
Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” God really does want you to experience life in its fullness. Each class I tell my guys at Pioneers, you have 4 things standing between you and the incredible man you can become. I ask them what are the four things. They respond, 1) Grades, 2) Attitude) 3) Choice Of Friends and 4)Sex.
Nothing is more debilitating to our community than our free and wild expression of sex. When people say, I don’t see anything wrong with it just look at the consequences. How many babies do we kill each year in the wombs through abortion because two people should be able to do what they want to do? Is murder a price worth paying for freedom to do as we please. You can say what you like about abortion but it is ultimately murder.
How many people’s lives are changed when a teenager brings a child into the world? The teen loses a lifestyle God intended for him or her to enjoy, college degrees are pushed into the distant future and sometimes are never achieved. Family finances are strained. The child is robbed from the start of knowing what it’s like to be raised by their own mom and dad with both in the same home loving each other. Grandparents are sometimes forced against their will to become parents all over again. Some teenage parents simply abandon their kids and try to pawn them off on everybody else so that they can find themselves.
We like to think that times have changed and that the Bible needs to get with it for today’s society. Let’s look at whether or not times have changed by turning to Proverbs chapter 5. The beginning of the chapter deals with a good looking and smooth talking person who sees nothing wrong with having sex. It uses the image of a woman, but it could just as easily be a man. You see people didn’t just start wearing hot sexy clothing. It was there a long time ago.
Verse 8 Proverbs 5:8-14 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, Look if you do not want to fall victim to sexual temptation, you have to stay away from where it hangs out. For thousands of years, parents have been telling kids not to go over to so and so’s house. If you have to spend a lot of time alone, with the other person or in the house by yourself with the other person, it’s just a matter of time before you fall. The bible never tells us to stand and fight sexual temptation. It says for us to run. Sexual temptation is a reality for 95% of us.
A young man wanted to know how long he would face sexual temptation. He went to this guy in the nursing home who was 75 years of age and asked him, when would the feeling for sex stop. The man said son, “you have to go ask somebody older than me because I can’t answer that question.”
Look at verse 9 9lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel, Here is a person that is having multiple sex partners. He’s young and satisfying many, but he ends up with cruel years because of a sexually transmitted disease he has picked up. When you choose have sex with someone, you choose to have sex with everyone they have had sex with. If they picked up something, they’re passing it on to you. Did you know in addition to AIDS, there are seven other sexually transmitted diseases which have no cure and all carry long term consequences.
There was time when a person’s sexual history consisted of just them and the opposite sex. Now you’re dealing with men having sex with men and now want sex with you. They did a survey of bars, clubs, and groups and discovered of the black men having sex with men 45% tested positive for Aids of that 45%, 64% did not even know they were infected. If they did not know they were infected how will you? Are you going to ask your male date, by the way, have you had sex with any men lately.
We come to verse ten and discover that child support payments are not new. Let’s read verse 10lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man’s house. Here is somebody whose money is going into another man’s house. He can’t spend his money the way he wants to because it’s going to pay for his former lifestyle. Everybody who brings a child into this world should have to pay financially for the child. But before sex, you have the option of robbing your future family of 25% of your income or even robbing your present family.
If you’re married, your wife and all your children suffer financially when you go out and have a kid by some other person. Your checks are going to be garnished. Your spouse is going to be devastated. You are going to be enriching another man’s house. You’re not even going to be guaranteed the money you’re sending over there is being used for your child. They can’t wait for you to get a raise, so they can take you to court and ask for more. All because you told yourself, nothing will happen.
Look at the next verse 11 “At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. Young girls, the earlier you start having sex, the greater your chances of contracting some disease that can keep you from having children when you really want them. Is that really worth trying to please some guy, who will not even be in your life a year or two from now.
For all of us who think we know it all now and nobody can tell us anything this young man’s experience ways one day like him 12You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! 13I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. 14I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."
Some of us are where this guy was. We’re not going to listen to our spouses, to our parents, to our teachers, to our pastors or even to our friends. We are going to go for sex and we’re going to do it because we want to. All I can say is, we will be here to help you deal with the broken pieces. You will pay a far greater price than you think. Sin always demands a price to be paid, because we reap what we sow.
Let me give you five reasons to go ahead and follow your sexual desires.
1. It might feel good to you when you do it.
2. It might make you feel loved and wanted.
3. It might get you the girlfriend or boyfriend you wanted for a time.
4. It will allow you to boast about how many people you’ve conquered and some misguided souls will think you’re all that.
5. You will have the satisfaction of nobody telling you what can and cannot have.
For those of you who have decided not to become involved in sex or you want to stop now before you really mess up, or you want to protect your current family, let me give you five reasons on why you should have wait and have sex in marriage.
1. Waiting shows that you love yourself and you love those around you who truly care about you. You will not allow your own selfishness to ruin the situation for those around you.
2. Waiting means that you will not risk getting A Sexually Transmitted Disease that could result in your life being lost or your inability to ever have children with someone you truly love and have committed yourself to.
3. Waiting means your future child will be born in home with a mother and a father to start with, and your income will stay with you and you will control how it is spent. You will never have to choose to kill your unborn child or sit by while someone else chooses to kill your baby.
4. Waiting means that you will greatly increase your chances of graduating from high school and college and becoming all that you can be with a higher paying salary and position of importance for the rest of your life.
5. Waiting means you will be choosing to become the believer in Christ that God has called you to be. Sexual sin will always push as further and further away from God. It is a leading cause of us being unable to feel God at work in our lives.
God has promised to come and live in every believer. God’s spirit dwells within our bodies. God says, each time a believer has sex with a person to whom they are not married, it is like forcing him to participate in having sex with a prostitute. There is a spiritual union taking place in sex between the spirit in you and the spirit in the other person. Even if the other person is a Christian God has stated our bodies do not belong to us to do as we please. They belong to Him and that we are to run from sexual temptation whether it comes from another believer or not.
I’m going to finish this sermon next Sunday during the 10:00 hour because I want to deal with issues like how far can I go as a Christian. What about masturbation and other sexual topics. What about dating and who can I date. What do I do when I’m engaged. I want to have time for us to walk through the Scriptures together on this.
God says you are of infinite worth to him as a person. Society says you’re just a body for someone to lust after. Whose opinion are you going to choose about yourself. We need to step up to God’s level when it comes to thinking about sex. Our society spends billions to get you to say no to God’s plan for sex for your life because they get back even more billions in return. Jesus on the other had gave his life to give you the strength to say yes to what’s best for your life. He doesn’t try to make any money off your decisions. He truly cares about You.
Sermon Outline—Pastor Rick
Steppin’ Up To A New Level Of Thinking About Sex 4/2/06
Song Of Songs 7:1-9 1 Corin 7:1-8
A. The Bible Describes A Naked Woman
1. Isn’t She Beautiful
2. Help I Can’t Control Myself
3. God Started Out Pro-Sex
4. God Put The Good In Sex
5. God Put The Pleasure In Sex
B. God Demands That Sex Takes Place
1. 1 Corinthians 7
2. Sex Glorifies God
3. The Church The Bride Of Christ
4. Satan Comes In To Change It All
5. Sex & Parents Weird But TV Okay
C. Society Confused Over Sex
1. It’s Great, Nothing Wrong With It
2. Serious Psychological Problems
3. Should Our Teens Go For It
4. We Love Our Sexual Power
5. We Dress, We Flirt, We Fight
D. When We All Get Messed Up
1. Rayshawn The 18 Year Old 11th Grader
2. Quita-Wild & Sexy 9th Grader 13
3. The Overnight Sleeper Over
4. Lucky Or Possible Victim
5. Ohio Revised Code Section 2907.4
6. Between 13&15 Felony 4th Degree
7. 15 Misdemeanor of the 1st Degree
8. 23 Felony of the 3rd Degree
9. Who Is Setting Up Who
10. What Is Informed Consent
11. Rape & Murder Get Equal Sentence
E. God Says Sex Is Higher Than Exchange
1. Spiritual & Emotional Dimension
2. God’s Entitlement Plan
3. Jesus’ Offer Of Life
4. Grades, Attitudes, Friends & Sex
F. Have The Times Really Changed
Proverbs 5:8-14 Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house, [9] lest you give your best strength to others
and your years to one who is cruel, [10] lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man’s house. [11] At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. [12] You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! [13] I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. [14] I have come to the brink of utter ruin
in the midst of the whole assembly."
1. The Age Temptation Stops
2. The Person With Multiple Partners
3. The Person With Disease
4. The Child Support Payments
5. The Garnishments
6. I Know It All
G. Five Possible Good Reasons To Go
Ahead And Have Sex Now
1. Good Feeling, Feeling Wanted
2. Gets You The Date, Allows You
To Keep Score, Let’s You Do
Your Own Thing
H. Five Possible Good Reason To Wait
1. Demonstrates Love For All
2. Zero Risk Of Passing Disease
3. Child Comes In The Right Conditions
& You Have More Money
4. You Get A Real Full Life
5. Become The Disciple God Intended
I. God Comes To Dwell In The Life Of
Each Believer
1. What Happens In Sex
2. More Topics Next Sunday 10Am
3. How Far Can I Go—Masturbation
4. God’s View Of Who You Are
5. Will You Step Up
