What is Christian Maturity?
Introduction
As we grow and mature, there are four stages of growth and development
1. Infancy
2. Childhood
3. Adolescence and
4. Adulthood
We can look at someone and tell how physically mature they are
In the Christian life, there are two stages not four
They are: infancy and maturity
They have certain characteristics but the Scripture tells us there should be growth in between
We all should be growing, maturing, changing, becoming more Christ-like
More dead to ourselves, more alive to God.
How may of you today want to be mature as Christians?
I have noted about three things that characterize maturity in the Christian life but I just want to deal with one today
It will help us realize if we are still in spiritual infancy or spiritual maturity
Chronological age does not automatically mean maturity.
This is true in the natural as well as the spiritual
I have observed some 18 yr. olds that are as mature as 30 yr. olds, 30 yr. olds that are as mature as 16 yr. olds.Don’t assume that just because you have been a Christian for a number of years that you are automatically mature.
Let us turn our attention to: 1 Cor. 3:1-4
Here, Paul is writing to the Corinthian church and addressing several problems that they had.
Outwardly, the church seemed very spiritual
had great meetings, the charismatic gifts were flowing (prophecy, healing, faith, miracles)
They were growing and exciting things were happening
But Paul gives us indication here that they were not mature but infants in their faith in Christ
Why?
There was Jealousy & Strife among them.
A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
Let’s look at these two things that Paul brings our attention to as being spiritually immature.
Then I will give a way to work around them
Jealousy
Jealousy - - fearful, suspicious of being displaced by others.
Envy – feeling resentment or discontent over another’s attainments, endowments or possessions
“An envious man not only wishes to see the other deprived of his possession, but also wishes to obtain it for himself.”
Movie Clip – Amadeus - where Saleri is jealous of Mozart
Seems like there is much of this in Christian circles
Many in the church can weep with those who weep – but they are too jealous, too insecure, too prideful to rejoice with those who rejoice
They give weird looks and vibes – if someone in the church gets a new car, or a promotion or a season of good fortune. They don’t like it. They won’t say much maybe – but give subtle comments, put downs or give people the once over.
Do you and can you genuinely rejoice for others when the Lord blesses them in their life?
Are you genuinely happy for them or secretly, out of your insecurity feel threatened by them?
Being competitive, jealous, petty will grieve the Holy Spirit, damage your relationships with others and injure yourself.
God is the source for all things. The mature believer is secure in Him.
Jealousy, insecurity shows that you are still a spiritual infant. It reveals that some ego, pride, a self that has not been crucified or given over to Christ. It is more problematic than just that. Jealousy can and will destroy you.
There is an ancient Greek legend that illustrates beautifully the plight of jealousy, envy and the wrong kind of competitive spirit
In one of the important races a certain athlete ran well but he still places second. The crowd applauded the winner noisily and after the race, a statue was erected in his honor. The one who placed second came to think of himself as a loser. Envy, jealousy began to eat away at him and corroded his mind and emotions.
He decided he had to destroy the statue that was a daily reminder of his lost glory. The plan took root in his mind which he cautiously began to implement. Late each night, when everyone else was sleeping, he went to the statue and chiseled at the base, hoping to weaken the foundation and it would eventually topple.
One night as he was chiseling away, he got more and more aggressive in hammering, thinking about his opponent. He chiseled away too much and the statue teetered on its base and then crashed down on the disgruntled athlete.He died beneath the crushing weight of the marble replica of the one he had grown to hate.
In reality, he had been dying long before, inch by inch, chisel blow by chisel blow.
That is what envy, jealousy will do to you. Eats and chips away at your love for God, love for people, your mental and emotional health.
God will bless you as much as others – there is no scarcity of His goodness. There is plenty of it to go around. Rejoice with your friends, family, church brothers & sisters when they experience God’s blessing in their life or when they have something that you don’t. This is a test of your spirituality, your Christian maturity
A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
There is something else Paul mentions here that is a problem in many people’s lives. It shows that we re spiritually immature if we have it operating on a regular basis in our lives
Strife & Quarreling
Here the Corinthian church was fighting, quarrelling, having factions, saying one was better than another.
A truly spiritual person, a mature Christian -- avoids strife, arguing, jealousy
A truly spiritual person, a mature Christian – lives in harmony with others
This doesn’t mean you bury issues, never have an argument never deal with them. It is normal to have conflicts, misunderstandings, miscommunication with others. But if you are habitually arguing, speaking to wife and family and others in harsh tones. Regularly embroiled in some kind of argument, strife, then you are spiritually immature
We need to flee from strife, Jealousy, Quarreling & Petty competitiveness with others
Flee from it in your
Homes
Schools
Jobs
Church
Marriages
It grieves the Holy Spirit and His presence dissipates when we give in to that kind of behavior
The problem is that people who give themselves over to strife, jealousy, insecurity aren’t living in the presence of the Holy Spirit and might not miss Him if He did dissipate in their lives
Keep your temper.
The problem with loosing your temper is that nobody else wants it either
Notice: the bible calls strife worldly, carnal, unspiritual!
Church folk get mixed up on what is being carnal or worldly really is
They talk about
Cigarettes
Way people dress
Movies
Music
Make-up
The bible does not tell us that those things indicate a person’s spirituality or how worldly they are or aren’t
Here it teaches that if we operate in strife, jealousy, if we have difficulty flowing with people – we are carnal
I don’t care how involved you are in church, how much you pray, fast, read the bible or memorize Scripture -- If you are living in anger, jealousy, strife, arguing – your are worldly. You are walking beneath your calling and spiritual ability. You are walking in this life as mere men and women and not sons and daughters of the Most High God.
I see in this verse that how we conduct ourselves in our interpersonal relationships reveals how spiritually mature we really are.
Indicates how much we love God and are controlled by the Holy Spirit.
There are three main reasons for strife, arguing, jealousy
1. Pride – ego, selfishness
Prov. 13:10 – “only by pride comes contention”
It is pride, ego that makes us argue
You are saying – “I’m right, I’m smarter, I am stronger, I will win”
1 Cor. 1:11 – this attitude – party spirit – caused divisions
We as Christians are called to die to ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus
Not live life out of our egos but out of leadership of the Holy Spirit
Another way of saying this is selfish ambition
Turn to James 3:14-16 – think of that statement
If we are selfishly ambitious - have our own self, our own ego, our own agenda really at heart
We open the door for confusion and every evil thing
This describes some homes, some marriages
The rat in the wood pile is ego, pride, selfishness and self will
2. Anger – form of pride and selfishness
Pr. 29:22 & 15:18 – “an angry man stirs up strife”
Some people are just angry all the time
They have a hyper concept of justice – look at things if they are not perfectly just – get angry
Rooted in ego & pride
Angry person has not surrendered themselves to the cross of Jesus Christ
How to Deal with Strife, Jealousy
1. Humility
Since only by pride comes strife it would logical to assume that only by humility can we avoid strife.
Mature Christians are humble, not proud or self-willed
Col. 3:12-15 – read – something that we are suppose to do, can choose to do - “put on”
That means you might just have to bear with other’s weaknesses
There is a practical way to obey this verse.
Four ways to think when we come to an impasse with others (taken from Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Successful People)
a. Win – Loose
b. Loose- Loose
c. Loose – Win
d. Win – Win
Let’s look at them in a little more detail
a. Win – Loose
Common attitude for most people
Authoritarian, egotistical approach
Uses position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to “win”
This type of mentality fosters argument strife
Comes from our ego our competitiveness that often gets us into a I am going to win mentality
Big I, little you mentality
This is being immature spiritually as well as emotionally
b. Loose, Loose
We both loose – If I can’t get my way, no one will ( ex. –Movie “For Your Eyes Only” – Where at the end Bond throws away de-coder and says “None of us get it – detente!)
c. Loose- Win
Can be co-dependant mentality
Voices no standards, no demands, no expectations of anyone else
Quick to please and appease
Always give up, let the other person have their way when you really don’t want to
Bury your feelings, don’t communicate your desires
This ends in frustration or a build up of anger then one day Mt. Vesuvius blows!
This is not emotionally healthy or the way to deal with strife
I must qualify this and say that sometimes the Holy Spirit will tell you to do this.
To just give the person their way – it is not that big of a deal. Die to yourself and get pleasure from seeing them be happy
d. Win-Win
The best way is to be in the habit of Win-Win
Humility - is how can we both win?
How can we all win out of this thing?
That is a healthy, mature attitude.
Realizing that effective, long-term relationships require mutual benefit
In this mentality – you seek mutual benefit
You are cooperative, not competitive
Listen more, communicate with more courage
Should think win-win or no deal
This is practically what it means to put on humility
During a hike in the woods a troop of Boy Scouts came across an abandoned section of railroad track.
Each boy in turn trued walking the rails but eventually lost his balance and tumbled off.
Two boys, after considerable whispering suddenly offered to bet that they could both walk the entire length of the track without falling off.
The others said prove it
The two boys jumped up on the opposite rails and extended a hand to balance each other and walked the entire section of track with no difficulty whatsoever
That is humility, that is win-win
Remember: A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
The second way to deal with strife & jealousy is:
2. Communication
Most problems are really – communication prob. when you get right down to it
There are misunderstandings, assumptions things not clearly communicated that cause confusion and strife
A man went overseas and was invited to participate in a game of cricket, but he didn’t know the rules.
His companion told him, "It’s really quite simple. You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that’s on the side that’s in goes out and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.
When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs that’s the end of the game. Simple isn’t it? Ready to play?"
Reminds me of a story where a lady met with a marriage counselor and said “I would like to divorce my husband!”
The counselor replied: “Do you have any grounds?”
“Why yes, we have almost an acre”
“You don’t understand. What I want to know is do you and your husband have a grudge?”
“No, we have a nice car-port”
The counselor shook his head and said, “Lady, I don’t see any reason why you should divorce your husband!”
The lady answered: “It’s just that the man can’t carry on an intelligent conversation!”
Mark Twain said that the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug
A man was in the doghouse with his wife, so he ordered her some flowers and told the florist that the card should read,
"I’m sorry, (comma) I love you."
Unfortunately, his instructions must not have been clear enough.
When the flowers arrived, the card read, "I’m sorry I love you." (no comma)
Ja. 1:19 – gives us an answer
James If we slow down, try to listen to the other person, find out what the real issue or issues are – this can prevent much strife
Ask the other person to explain their side and really listen
Then paraphrase it back to them – that will help you concentrate
Seek to understand where they are coming from first, then try to make yourself understood.
That is a good way to listen, to communicate
Avoid words like “Always” “Never” “should” “You”
Better is “When you do that I makes me feel like” or
“It seems to me like”
These phrases are less combatable and are conducive to listening and giving and receiving dialogue about a problem
Remember: A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
Third way to deal with Jealousy and strife is:
3. Be solution oriented -- Phil 3:12-14
Attitude of “How can we solve this problem rather than “why do we have this problem
You can talk about why for hours and not get anywhere
Talking about the past won’t help much either– “back in 1973 you did this..”
In an argument an guy said that is wife got historical
Was corrected – you mean hysterical
No historical - recited all his past mistakes!
Don’t need to bring up others who hold your opinion – “Mother always thinks that I am right!”
Solution oriented, you will have great success in not having strife & jealousy in your life.
Remember: A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
4. Live under the leadership of the Holy Spirit
That is the real point in what Paul is saying to the Corinthian church
That if they were truly spiritual, they would be filled with The Holy Spirit, living under His leadership
This is what being Spirit-filled or the Spirit-filled life is all about
Gal. 5:16-18 -- Read
Life is to be lived out of the leadership and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit
You will successfully live the Christian life if you orient your life this way.
Not out of rules
That is why The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is an integral part of the Christian life and experience
To be empowered, dipped into, immersed, filled with the Holy Spirit will cause you a greater sensitivity to Him
When you have a greater sensitivity to Him, you will be more aware of what pleases Him or grieves Him in your life
As you live that way – won’t fulfill the desires of the flesh which are listed here
You will stay away from strife, because you value as precious the presence of the Holy Spirit and you don’t want to grieve or hurt Him
F. B. Meyer defines Holy Spirit filled living best with the following anecdote: "Let there be no thought of what you can do for God, but all thought of what God can do through you."
Conclusion
A mature Christian lives in harmony with others
The main thing I really wanted to bring to bear is that you understand that a mature Christian and spiritual Christian was all about
God desires for all of us to grow from infancy to maturity
I trust that this has put in your heart the motivation to want to grow in your Christian walk and help you understand in part what that involves
Being Mature is:
Be Humble -- Think win-win
Communicate well
Be Solution-Oriented
Life leadership by the Holy Spirit
The most important of all of these is to live under the leadership of the Holy Spirit
The best church programs and best sermons and worship can’t take the place of that
You need him inside of you if you have never asked Him – we will give you an opportunity
If you have never been baptized in the Holy Spirit, we will give you an opportunity for that as well
I encourage all of you – Keep growing
