Hearing God: The Counsel of Others
Series: Hearing God # 3
1 Kings 12:1-14[1]
9-11-05
Intro
We have been talking the last few weeks about how to hear God. In the next message on this we will focus on our personal communion with God. But it is important to embrace the broad biblical principles that protect us from our own emotional responses in a situation and help us distinguish between our own desires and the desires of God. In this series we have come to understand hearing God as a process and not just an event. We talked about the issue of motives in the last message. And prior to that, we saw that subjective leadings of the Lord will correspond with His providential work in our circumstances and the will of God as already revealed in His Word.
Today we will see the importance of community in this process of hearing God. We take as our subject: “Hearing God through the counsel of others”. How do you know when its time to go to someone for counsel and help concerning something in your life? How do you know where to go for that help? How do you sort through all the advice to arrive at an understanding of what God is wanting you to do or what the real solution to the problem is? Those are the kind of questions we want to address this morning.
I. Why do we need counsel from others?
If we have the Holy Spirit why can’t we just ask God what to do and listen to what He tells us?[2] That is the first thing we should do. No matter what problem or decision we face in life the first thing we should do is go to God with it in prayer. In the story we read at the beginning of the service from 1 Kings 12 there is no mention of Rehoboam going to God in prayer and asking Him what to do. That was a big mistake! But as we see in the story he did not really want to know God’s counsel. For many decisions in life we can simply ask the Lord what He wants us to do and do it. We can use the principles discussed in previous sermons on this subject and know the mind of the Lord. But sometimes we have done all that and we are still at a loss as to what the answer is.
Why—because God has not designed our relationship with Him to be exclusive of other people. He sets the solitary in families. He leads us into relationships with other people. He places us in the Body of Christ as it pleases Him. Paul uses the imagery of a human body to describe our relationships in the Church. 1 Cor 12:20-21 “As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’” No matter how spiritual a person may be he can never say that he has no need for the gifts and ministries of other Christians. That is one reason that God will not always give us direction exclusive of other people. He has called us to interdependence upon one another. You will find over and over in the New Testament those two words that describe our relationship—“one another”. Let me read you just a few. Rom 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Eph 5:19-21 “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Heb 10:24-25 “ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
There are two extremes that we should avoid. One is dependence instead of interdependence. We should not just hand our life over to someone else and let that person decide how we will live it. The Bible says each one of us will give an account unto God of himself.[3] Life can be challenging. Sometimes we get weary. And there can be the temptation to just hand all the decisions over to someone else and let them take the responsibility. That kind of dependence is unscriptural. Each one of us must ultimately make our own decisions before God. The other extreme is independence which is very prevalent in the American culture. We don’t want to be accountable to other people. We want to be free to do what we want—when we please. But that attitude is contrary to Scripture and will ultimately get us into trouble. Ponder with me the words of Proverbs 18:1-2 for a moment. “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment. 2 A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.” (NKJV) What is a man (who isolates himself) seeking? Is he seeking to know the will of God through godly counsel? No he “seeks his own desire”. By himself he can pursue his own will without anyone else interrupting him or holding him accountable. Does he seek a wholesome exchange of ideas? No his delight is “in expressing his own heart.” That verse is not talking about a brief time alone with God. It is talking about pulling back from the Body of Christ to do your own thing—no matter how much of a religious, spiritual spin you may put on it.[4] God’s design for His people is interdependence—not dependence and not independence.
Listen to the value God place upon wise counsel.
Prov 11:14 “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” NKJV
Prov 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.” NKJV
Prov 15:22 “Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.” NKJV
Prov 19:20-21 “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days. 21 There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel -- that will stand.” NKJV
Having seen the value of counsel the next question becomes
II. When is it appropriate to seek out counsel from others?
To seek out counsel on every decision would be the kind of dependent relationship we criticized earlier. You don’t need counsel on what kind of milk to buy or whether to buy a loaf of bread today. Everyday you will make hundreds of little decisions that don’t even require much thought let alone counsel from others. But we have established the value of counsel and there are times when we need to get insight from others.
I can not tell you exactly when those times will be. But I can give you some criteria to consider when deciding whether to seek out counsel.
(1) The magnitude of the decision is a factor. What are the consequences of making the wrong decision? Decisions about who to marry, what career to pursue, whether to withdraw all your retirement money and send it to the mission field may warrant some counsel. I remember an experience when I was pastoring in Texas. One morning my associate pastor and I were at the church praying and God spoke something to me. It was in regard to a retired couple who had been coming to our church for awhile. The husband wanted to get a ministry going and I was praying about what God might want me to do. Abruptly the Lord told me to go immediately to his house. I had never been to his house and as I recall it was about 7 o’clock in the morning. But I knew God had told me to do it so I invited my associate to go with me. When we arrived at the man’s house I was shocked to see him and his wife in the front yard having a physical fight. She was holding her own because she had a hammer. When we broke up the fight and talked with her we found out that her husband had taken a substantial part of their retirement money and sent it to a ministry in India as I recall. In talking with him he felt that God had told him that he would get a 100-fold return on the gift. The first counsel that man should have sought was the counsel of his wife. Had he asked counsel of me as his pastor I would have shared with him a lot of stories where ministers promised big returns and it never happened. I’m not saying it couldn’t or wouldn’t happen. But that was a good example of someone who didn’t seek counsel who should have. As far as I know the expected increase never came. It’s hard to get God to bless you when you are betraying your wife’s trust.
(2) Another criteria to consider is whether you are stuck in the sense that you have already tried everything you know to do or you are in confusion about the matter. If God has clearly spoken to you and all the affected parties are being properly considered then you may just need to do what God has already told you to do. There is a story in 1Kings 13 where God spoke to a prophet and sent him to Bethel to prophesy against Jeroboam’s altar there. God told to him to give the prophecy and then go straight home. The prophet almost obeyed God. He went to Bethel. He boldly prophesied against the altar. When King Jeroboam stretched out his hand to have the prophet arrest God intervened and Jeroboam’s arm shriveled up. Supernaturally the altar spilt apart just like the prophet said it would. When Jeroboam experienced all that he humbled himself and asked the prophet to pray for his arm. And when the prophet prayed the arm was healed. Then the first test came. King Jeroboam asked the prophet to come home with him and he would give him a gift. The prophet refused because God had commanded him to go straight home. But on his way home an old prophet met him and told him that God had said that the younger prophet was to go home with him. This test the young prophet failed. And he was eventually killed by a lion because of his disobedience. What is the moral of the story? If God has clearly spoken to you then you don’t need counsel. You need to obey what He has told you to do. If you’re in the process of hearing God, then counsel can be helpful. It might even be appropriate to tell the counselor what you think God might be saying. But this prophet knew what God wanted him to do and he shouldn’t have allowed anyone to talk him out of it.
More often than not we are in the process of discerning God’s will. If we have been struggling over something for years and still have not peace—and still have no answer—we may need to submit the matter to others for their counsel. On definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing expecting a different result.[5]
(3) Sometimes we need counsel because we don’t have experience or expertise in what we are about to do. When I was functioning as the general contractor while building the education wing I went to people like Dave Turner, Larry Ellsaesser, and others to get counsel because I knew they had much more experience and knowledge in that field. That paid big dividends for the church. We enjoy a large kitchen today mostly because of Larry Ellsaesser’s counsel. There were all kinds of good decisions made because of Dave Turner’s counsel. It is just plain stupid to not draw upon the wisdom of others especially when we don’t have adequate training or experience in an area.
Ask God to give you wisdom about when to get counsel. And be humble enough to ask for it when you need it.
III. To whom should we go for counsel?
The best I can do with that question is to talk in terms of broad biblical principles. (1) I would suggest you go to the godly for counsel. Ps 1:1 “Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful.” (NKJV) When our daughter was a baby she had a blood defect and actually died on the operating table. She was revived and the operation abandoned. The anesthesiologist was not a Christian; the MD was. While Jeanie and I were waiting for each one separately to come in and talk with us God told us what we were to do. Immediately after that the anesthesiologist came in and said exactly the opposite. When he left we decided we would obey God and trust Him with the results. When the MD came in his counsel was in perfect alignment with what God had told us to do. Two doctors: one speaking the word of the Lord to us; the other speaking the word of the devil. We were responsible to sort it out. I know it’s not always an option in every situation—but you’re much more likely to get good counsel from a godly person than an ungodly person.
(2) Seek counsel from people with the expertise you need. If I need to know what to do about my plumbing I’m not going to ask a mechanic; I’m going to ask a plumber. If I need advice about medical problems I go to someone trained in that field of medicine. This is pretty well accepted in our culture. If I need counsel about spiritual matters where do I go? If I need counsel about relational issues where do I go? Go to someone who has knowledge about those matters. Some people know the Bible better than other people. Don’t go to somebody that thinks there might be a scripture somewhere that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Get competent counsel.
(3) Get counsel from someone with experience in the area you are dealing with. If you need parenting counsel you probably don’t need to go to someone who has no children or someone whose kids are more messed up than your own. Seek out somebody who has learned to do it successfully. “The proof is in the pudding.” Look at the results they have gotten. If you’re marriage is suffering don’t go to the lady who just got a divorce. Find a woman who has made her marriage work for years.
In 1Kings 12 we have the story of Rehoboam. He has just been made king. And he is facing the first major challenge of his leadership. We read the story at the beginning of the service. Under the leadership of Jerhoboam, the people come asking him to lower the taxes that Solomon had been requiring of them. Rehoboam goes to experienced people and asks them what he should do. They give him wise counsel. But it was not the counsel Rehoboam wanted to hear. So he went to inexperienced people and asked them what to do. They told him exactly what he wanted to hear. And when he did it; it was a fiasco. Prov 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Some counsel is better than other counsel.
1 Thess 5:11-15 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 12 Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
There is a lot of instruction in those verses regarding where to draw counsel. Every Christian should be committed to a local church where they know one another—know one another’s live—and know who the Lord has put over them in authority. [6] Some people have trouble hearing God because they are passive rebels. They may not be overtly resisting authority. But they just do their own thing without any accountability to anyone and then wonder why they can’t hear God. Very often if they would submit properly to a community of believers the fog would clear up.
IV. How should we approach and respond to counseling?[7]
My time is limited but I want to quickly go back to the two extremes that should be avoided. Don’t go to a counselor and hand that person your life. You will be ultimately responsible for the decision you make. There are counselors who neurotically need to exercise power and control over other people and they can do great damage. We saw that in the Shepherding Movement of the ‘70’s and we have seen it repeated from time to time. A counselor is not there to solve your problem. He or she is not there to take your problem from you. The counselor is there to equip you to solve your problem. So don’t enter into an unhealthy relationship of dependence upon a counselor. On the other extreme, don’t waste a counselor’s time if you are not serious about receiving instruction. If you already know what to do; then do it. If you just need a listening ear then ask the person if he or she would just be willing to listen. Honesty is the best policy. The person you need as an empathetic listener may not be the person you would need to give you advice. Rehoboam went to experienced counselors for advice but he was really just looking for someone to tell him what he wanted to hear. Make sure the person you go to is capable and experienced and then take the counsel serious.[8]
Perhaps the Lord has drawn your attention to a matter in your life that needs counsel from others. Will you humble yourself and receive counsel? Will you make that decision now to follow through with finding counsel?
Prayer and Invitation
TEXT: 1 Kings 12:1-14
12:1 Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all the Israelites had gone there to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. 3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 "Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you." 5 Rehoboam answered, "Go away for three days and then come back to me." So the people went away. 6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. "How would you advise me to answer these people?" he asked. 7 They replied, "If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants." 8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, "What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ’Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?" 10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, "Tell these people who have said to you, ’Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’-tell them, ’My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’" 12 Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, "Come back to me in three days." 13 The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, "My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions." (from New International Version)
Richard Tow
Grace Chapel Foursquare Church
Springfield, MO
www.gracechapelchurch.org
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[1] Text which was read at beginning of the service is provided at the end of this manuscript. All Scripture quotes are New International Version unless otherwise indicated.
[2] I John 2:27 and many other passages tell us that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide us. But that has to be balanced with other teachings in Scripture as well.
[3] Romans 14:12. It is very unfortunate when people in a psychological state of wanting to hand personal responsibility over to someone else encounter a leader with a neurotic need to control. That dynamic can result in a cult.
[4] After many years of pastoring I have yet to have anyone come to me and say he/she is pulling back from church so he/she can do his/her own thing without interference. There is almost always a lot of “religious syrup” poured on the explanation.
[5] From one of the books authored by John Maxwell.
[6] Attitudes toward authority often enter into this matter. For messages preached on that subject from 2/17/02 to 3/17/02 go to www.gracechapelchurch.org
[7] This is dealt with more extensively in a sermon I preached on 8-24-03 available at www.gracechapelchurch.org
[8] In our first service we used a clip from the movie “The Ten Commandments” (Disc 2)Ch 5 (0:19:21) to Ch 6 (0:23:01). In this scene Pharaoh has received good counsel much like Rehoboam did. But in his pride he is unwilling to follow it.
