Some Good Things Fathers Do
Deut. 5:16[1]
6-19-05
Intro
Today is Father’s Day. Some of you are fathers. Some of you are married to fathers. And I’m just guessing that many of you have fathers. The purpose of this holiday is based soundly upon the word of God. The Bible clearly tells us to honor fathers. Moses wrote in Deut. 5:16 "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
This issue of giving due honor to parents is a big deal as far as God is concerned. It is so basic that it was included in the Ten Commandments. Parents are usually the first representatives of God that we encounter in life. Our response to their authority often sets the tone for the attitudes we develop toward God Himself. Today we will talk about appreciating fathers for what they do. As we share some things fathers do, I hope that you fathers will be encouraged to continue in well doing. I hope family members will be inspired to appreciate the dads for their faithfulness. Some Good Things Fathers Do:
1. They BEGET—at least that is the term the KJV of the Bible uses. Remember all those long, boring passages in the Bible where verse after verse says “And So & So begat So and So and he begat somebody and on and on it goes.” When you read those verses just remember—none of those people would have ever even been here if it weren’t for begetting. In fact, you wouldn’t even be here if somebody hadn’t begotten you.
I like the way the NIV changes that word begot to “who gave you life”. Proverbs 23:22 says, “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despises your mother when she is old.” Of course, we know ultimately that God is the source of life. But the point of all this is giving honor for even the most basic reason. Your earthly father may not rate very high on some of the other reasons I’m about to share for honoring him. But even if he does not live up to all those you have cause of appreciation toward your biological father “who gave you life”—the person God chose to use in bringing you into this world.
Almost 40% of children in America go to bed every night without their biological father in the home.[2] You may not even know your biological father. And you will have much reason today to honor those people in your life who stepped in and filled that role in some way for you. It is not easy at all when mom has to function as both father and mother for all practical purposes. If she does that faithfully, she should be worthy of double honor. I think about how challenging it was for Jeanie and me to raise our children together and it reminds me to pray for every single parent. I can not image how difficult your job is. I just pray God will be a Father to the fatherless[3] in that situation and give the grace needed to do the job.
But having said that, no matter how much a father falls short in his duties as a father, there is some degree of respect that can be given simply because he is the person God used to give you life. The command to honor father and mother is not negated by parental failure. It’s just that the honor given must be appropriate for reality. God is a God of truth and some fathers are worthy of more honor than others.
When there has been a divorce in the family it is difficult for everyone involved. In those situations it can become tempting for parents to discount the other parent because of all the conflict that arises between the x-spouses. But let me encourage you to not yield to that temptation. Moms teach your children to honor their father for the kid’s sake. If they violate this commandment it will be detrimental for them. Dads teach your children to honor their mother regardless of what issues are going on between the two of you. You will need to work those out but don’t influence your kids contrary to this commandment.
I am very aware that Father’s Day can be painful for some people for a variety of reasons. We don’t deal with that pain by avoiding the issues. We deal with it by addressing the reality and receiving God’s grace in the process. So here is one reason for honoring a father—fathers beget.
2. Fathers PROVIDE for the material needs of their families. In our culture moms participate in this role more than they did in Bible times. But the primary responsibility for working and providing food, clothing, and shelter for the family rests with the father.
Paul brings out the significance of this responsibility in 1 Tim. 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” That is very strong language.
Sometimes fulfilling that responsibility can be so “daily”. It’s something we can easily take for granted. But this is a powerful, self-sacrificing expression of love. When a man gets up each morning, five or six times a week, and goes to do a job (that is not always fun)—takes it on the chin from customers and bosses and sometimes even fellow-workers—that ought to say something about his love for his family. Talk is nice but action speaks loudly about our love for our families. Kids seldom realize what it takes to “bring home the bacon” until they have to do it. It’s not always the big, spectacular sacrifices that spell love. Sometimes it’s the faithful hard work of a dad who wants to make sure his family is OK.
I think about the Story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. That story is probably more about the heart of the father than the foolishness of the son. Who provided all that inheritance for those two boys? It’s plain to me that it wasn’t the prodigal son. He seems to have little appreciation as to what it took to work out that farm and all the resources associated with it. Why did dad work so hard? I think his generosity toward the boys answers that question clearly. This dad obviously loved his sons and wanted the very best for them. A dad like that is worthy of double honor.
3. Fathers PROTECT their families. When there’s a strange noise in the middle of the night, I don’t send Jeanie to check it out. If there’s going to be trouble, I plan to deal with it before it can get to her or the kids. That’s the way most dads sitting in this room feel about their families.
We guys are not always as refined as you ladies. But we can take a punch better than you. And if an intruder is breaking into the house, you don’t want refined—you want aggression—you want a man who will do something to protect his family. God made people male and female. Neither one was a mistake on God’s part. Neither is better than the other. Men are designed by God with certain qualities that are needed in the family unit and women are designed with certain qualities that are needed in the family unit. And it’s a big, big mistake to try to make women be men or men be women. We need to capitalize on the differences for the overall good of the family.
What a wonderful protection it is for the family when dad takes his spiritual responsibilities seriously. In Genesis 6 the world had become exceedingly corrupt—so corrupt that God decided to destroy it with a flood. Then we read these words in Gen 6:8 “But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.” Noah was walking with God. Noah was listening to God and he obeyed God’s instruction for him and his family. That whole family was saved because dad got right with God and did what God told him to do.
4. Fathers TRAIN their children. They are commanded to do so in Scripture. Listen to God’s instruction to parents in Deut 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” It is a father’s responsibility and privilege to impress the commandments of the Lord on their children. They are to talk about the things of God in all kinds of daily settings. “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” When parents apply the truth of God’s word to real, daily events—then kids grow up with a God-centered world view which is far better than just having a religious affiliation. Parents, I am responsible to declare to you the word of the Lord. We have children’s ministry to assist you in training your children. But you are the primary teachers of God’s ways to your children.
The most significant aspect of that teaching will be your example. Values are more caught than taught. Once my kids got grown I was amazed at how they embraced my internal value system much more than my words. The example we set is very significant.
In 1999, 39 white rhinos were slaughtered in the South African wildlife preserve which was about 10% of the population. The killings were mysterious because the expensive rhino’s horns hadn’t been touched. That’s how the officials knew that it wasn’t the work of poachers. The investigation determined that juvenile delinquents had killed the rare rhinos—not human juveniles but elephants. The story behind why this happened is amazing?
It all began 20 years earlier when there were too many elephants in the reserve. The park rangers decided to kill many of the dominate adults whose young were old enough to survive without them. As a result many of the elephants grew up fatherless.
As time went on, researchers observed that several of the young male elephants began roaming in packs and began doing things that elephants don’t normally do. They threw sticks and water at the rhinos and acted like bullies. They knocked down trees and threatened the females. Without dominant males in the tribe, these young bulls became extremely aggressive. Some became so violent they would attack the rhinos and pen them down and crush the life out of them.
To stop the destruction of the rhinos, the park rangers eventually had to kill the leaders of the pack. They concluded that these teen-aged elephants were acting crazy because they had no dominant male role model. The rangers eventually brought in large dominant males to counter the abnormal behavior. After a few years the young bulls returned to normal elephant behavior. The killings stopped and the wildlife preserve was saved.[4]
When a Christian man is being a good role model for young people—that may not seem so spectacular. But the results may be much greater than people realize. The father’s influence in a home is more than just what he says in the way of articulated teaching.
Listen to what God says about Abraham in Gen 18:19 “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."
Discipline is a part of that training process. A lot of people today think they are smarter than the revelation in Scripture. But the Bible is very direct about that issue. Listen to what we’re told to do in Prov 19:18 “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” Eli is an example of a father that didn’t discipline his children. He was a spiritual man. He was the spiritual leader in Israel at that time. The end result was exactly what this Proverb warns parents about. The end result was death for his sons and even for him. I think it is an extremely dangerous thing to disregard God’s instruction in Scripture for what we may think is a “better idea”. The principles in the Bible are not some outdated idea about how to live. They are revelation from the Eternal God as to how it is to be done.
Not only does God tell fathers to discipline their children. But He Himself sets the example. Prov 3:11-12 “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Hebrews 12 expounds on that verse as well. I have watched parents try to reason with their three year old—try to talk the kid into obeying—if that doesn’t work try to bribe him into obeying. The whole process is ridiculous for that age child. If you’ve got a teenager you need to know how to reason some. But the way we handle kids needs to be age appropriate. A 3 or 4 year old kid is not going to stop throwing his food because you explain the importance of good nutrition. He’s going to obey because it feels better to obey than to disobey and experience the consequence. I would much rather live by the revelation of God’s word than the theories of people who have probably never successfully raised a kid in the first place.
Well anyhow training from godly father is valuable to the development of children.
5. Fathers ENCOURAGE and comfort their children. Ps 103:13 “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” Again God is the perfect example. He disciplines; but He is also sensitive to our struggles and tender in His compassion toward us. We see that tender side in the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Both his sons were prodigal in their own way. But the father never rejects either of them. These boys are grown and he reasons with them. He gives them space to make some mistakes. And his arms are always open to them when they fail. He never, never stops loving them. He forgives them and encourages them to do the right thing.
In 1 Thess 2:11-12 Paul is talking to his spiritual children. He likens his interaction with them to that of a natural father. “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”
It is a tender time in 1 Chron. 28 when David encourages Solomon to serve the Lord and build the temple. David has handed him everything he needs to get the job done. Then he tells Solomon that if he will seek the Lord God will be with him and help him in everything he does. Listen to the urging of this father to his son. 1 Chron 28:9-10 "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. 10 Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work."
6. Fathers LEAD their families. Leadership is a privilege; but it is also a heavy responsibility. Leadership does not mean I get my way. Leadership means I follow the Lord and do what’s just and right even if it costs me. May God help every dad here to provide the godly leadership his family needs. Husband and wife are both involved in leading a family. But oh how much easier it is on mom if dad fulfills his responsibilities of spiritual leadership. Men by nature are usually less intuitive than women. But that does not make women more spiritual. It just means that their spirituality is usually expressed a little different from his—and both expressions are needed. Fathers, do not back off from your spiritual responsibilities. Rise up and lead your families in dedication to the Lord.
The words of Joshua in Josh 24:14-15 come to mind as we talk about these matters. Joshua boldly said before God and all of Israel, “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. 15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
Men, our wives and our children need to hear us say those words with conviction, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua was fully persuaded about what he was going to do and he intended to lead his family in that direction. When you’re double-minded you can not lead. But when your mind is fully made up you inspire others to join with you. “...as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
7. Fathers BLESS their families.[5] Abraham brought blessing upon his children for generations to come because of his obedience and dedication to God.[6] Prov 20:7 “The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.” David brought blessing upon his children because of his devotion to God; but he also brought trouble to them through his disobedience to God.[7] That has always been significant to me as a father. It’s a powerful deterrent to sin. To think that my decisions are not only consequential in my life but also affect my children. That will inspire you to walk the straight and narrow.
Dad’s have a special power to bless their kids. We can speak blessing over our children. We can pray and impart blessing to our children. We see this in Heb 11:20-21 “By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future. 21 By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.”
Isaac was not a perfect dad. Jacob was not a perfect dad. But their lives were in pursuit of God and overall they were men of faith. If you have a father who loves God you are already inheriting a blessing.
Conclusion
I hope from this message we are all inspired to honor the fathers today. I hope we fathers are inspired to be a blessing to our families. Erma Bombeck wrote a Father’s Day column that is a good reminder to tell dad now how much you appreciate him. She writes, "One morning my father didn’t get up and go to work. He went to the hospital and died the next day. I hadn’t thought that much about him before. He was just someone who left and came home and seemed glad to see everyone at night. He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn’t afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood that when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures ... but he was never in them. Whenever I played house, the mother doll had a lot to do. I never knew what to do with the daddy doll, so I had him say, "I’m going off to work now" and threw him under the bed. The funeral was in our living room and a lot of people came and brought all kinds of good food and cakes. We had never had so much company before. I went to my room and felt under the bed for the daddy doll. When I found him I dusted him off and put him on my bed. He never did anything. I didn’t know his leaving would hurt so much."[8]
I want to ask the fathers to stand. Would you join with me as we pray for these fathers?[9]
Richard Tow
Grace Chapel Foursquare Church
Springfield, MO
www.gracechapelchurch.org
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[1] All Scripture quotes are from New International Version unless otherwise indicated.
[2] Brad Froese sermon entitled “Fathers Day – Legacy of Dad” accessed at www.sermoncentral.com. He cites 39.6%.
[3] Psalm 68:5
[4] Story accessed at http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2000/08/22/60II/main226894.shtml?CMP=ILC-SearchStories and sermon entitled “A Call to Fathers” by Jason Freeman available at www.sermoncentral.com
[5] Prayer is an important aspect of this but there is not enough time in this message to deal with that subject. The book of Job opens with a tender scene as we see that father rising early to pray for his kids. We can only appreciate the intensity of that book when we realize just how much Job loved his family. The office of a husband/father is an office of authority. And God honors authority that He has established. A family is blessed when the father will rise up and pray for his loved ones.
[6] This is especially brought out in Genesis 22:15-18.
[7] 1 Chron. 17:11-12; 2Samuel 12:10
[8] Roddy Chestnut sermon entitled “The Blessing of Fathers” accessed at www.sermoncentral.com
[9] In our first service we used a clip from the end of the movie “Finding Nemo” (1:29:01 to 1:32:07) to illustrate the love of a father for his children.
