The Missing Piece: Other People
Following Jesus, part 5
October 30, 2005
Wildwind Community Church
David Flowers
An article in Christianity today begins this way: I came to a startling revelation a few months ago. I don’t have any friends. I don’t. I have a lot of acquaintances but, other than my wife, I really have no close friends.
I’ve had some friends in the past, but not many. Eventually something happened-nothing sinister, just something like moving, having a baby, changing jobs, building a home, going back to school, changing churches. Nothing bad or wrong, just something that happened-and the next thing I knew, another friendship slowly eroded.
There are half a dozen guys whom I consider to be close, caring people I always look forward to being with. They are people who accept me as I am.
But a close friend? Nope. Not one.
Are you lonely? Do you look around you and think, “Man, I have it all – how come I’m not happy? What am I missing?”
I don’t know if there’s a statement much more sad than the statement, “I don’t have any friends.” Folks, I’m convinced that a person who calls him/herself a Christian but upon reflection realizes they don’t have a single close friend is missing the core of the gospel message. Talk about needing the puzzle to come together. How can a person be a follower of Jesus, serve a God who has called us into fellowship – true community – with each other – and be without friends?
As a pastor I talk to people all the time who keep saying, “But what’s the point – I don’t get it. What difference does it make whether I’m in a small group or not.” That’s frankly one of those questions that if you even have to ask the question you will almost certainly not be able to understand the answer and my main response to you will be to keep an open mind, to allow your personhood over time to be shaped more and more by Jesus and to at some point take the risk of really letting others into your life and from that point you’ll come to see very quickly why it is so important.
We’re in a series right now called Following Jesus and I want to talk to you about Community, about Friendship, because I believe that it’s a piece of the “following Jesus” puzzle that’s frankly just completely missing for most people – so much that it’s totally off the radar screen.
Now I’m going to get into details right now about why this aspect of community is essential in your being able to follow Jesus faithfully and learn to become like him. As I do that I want to preempt something you may be tempted to think as I proceed. I’m going to talk to you about Jesus and the disciples, the growth of the early church, and other things that may have taken place before you were born. It’s part of the often shallow American psyche that many of us have a hard time seeing how something that happened before we were born could possibly apply to us. So here’s how I want to challenge you. Please do not hear my ideas and simply think, “That was then, this is now – times are different.” Saying that times are different does not address the real issue which is whether different is better. The question is not whether today is different than yesterday, the question is whether earlier ways of being Christian were more likely to lead to success in living as God defines it than the way we often attempt it today.
I will be speaking to you today from two primary scriptures. The first is Acts 2:42-47. Let’s take a look at that.
Acts 2:42-47 (NIV)
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.
45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,
47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
We start with this brand new baby church, pastored by Peter and the other disciples. We see they dedicated themselves to four things:
1. The Apostle’s teaching. The people were committed, were devoted, to it. They wouldn’t miss it. They understood it to be the words of God – words that would impart life to them that they couldn’t afford not to hear.
2. The Fellowship. The fellowship here refers to much more than everyone standing around talking in the gym after church – and I’m definitely not saying that’s a bad thing. But when you read that they devoted themselves to the fellowship, this means they were committed to authentic and deep relationships with one another. That’s what fellowship was then. And they were deeply committed to it.
3. The breaking of bread. This represents a commitment to the sharing of The Lord’s Supper, to communion. Have you ever thought of being devoted to The Lord’s Supper? Jesus had just gone into heaven at that time – it hadn’t been that long since he had broken bread and given it to them and said, “Remember me – do this and remember me.” So they devoted themselves to remembering.
4. Finally is prayer. Prayer was their life blood. They prayed over everything. In fact just before this passage we see them praying and drawing straws in order to replace Judas Iscariot who had betrayed Christ and killed himself.
They were devoted to these four things. But I don’t want to stop there. Let’s see what came of that devotion.
Acts 2:43 (NIV)
43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.
Do you think that sense of awe, do you think those miracles and wonders, were unrelated to the intensity of the devotion these people had to the teaching of the apostles, to one another, to remembering the life of Jesus, and to prayer? In other words, are verse 42 and 43 disconnected from one another? Are we to believe that they devoted themselves to the teaching, the fellowship, the sacraments, and prayer and that oh yeah, by the way, they were filled with this incredible sense of awe, and the apostles kept doing these miraculous things, but those aren’t related or anything. Or do you, like me, suspect that they are DIRECTLY related? Of course they are related and that’s why they appear next to each other. What we are being told here is how the early church was so amazing that it made other people want to be part of it. Did you know that? Did you know there was a time in history when the example of most Christians made people want to become Christians?
Acts 2:44 (NIV)
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.
All the believers were together. All the believers were together. Amazing to realize that once upon a time the universal Christian church was so small that literally ALL the believers could hang out together. We can’t do that anymore can we? If we are going to ever have the potential of doing anything like this, we have to break down into smaller units. Those smaller units are called individual churches. And individual churches further break into smaller units called – well, we haven’t been very creative here – small groups. Because it’s not about pursuing small groups, it’s not about pursuing programs, it’s about pursing the kind of life, the kind of relationship with God, those early Christians had. If our intention is to ever experience what the early believers experienced, it will require that we be devoted to what they were devoted to. All the believers were together. Yes they heard teaching, yes they built deep friendships, yes they took communion, yes they prayed – but first of all, they were together. What did this togetherness accomplish?
Acts 2:44-47 (NIV)
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.
45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,
47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
They were able to meet the needs of those around them, and that was a powerful witness to those going, “Okay, who on earth are these people?” We see in verse 46 they were together every day. Every day! They ate together, gave thanks together – they did life with each other. Mi casa es su casa. They lived with one another. Not very American is it?
As they did this, the Bible says they enjoyed the favor of those around them because why? Because people could see the miracles. They could see the wonderous signs and feel the sense of awe. Their needs were being met by these strange people who seemed so joyful and to have a connection between them that outsiders just couldn’t understand. And what was the ultimate result of this environment they created in the early church that sprang from their fellowship and togetherness and commitment to one another?
Acts 2:47 (NIV)
47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
There we go. A vital, dynamic, growing, alive church sprang from believers who were just incredibly devoted to the Word of God, to one another, to remembering the life and death of Jesus, and to prayer. That’s why the church grew like wildfire, why Rome could not control it, why people just had to become Christians and get in on this amazing thing.
To follow Jesus was, and is, to live in constant connection to, and fellowship with, his church. There you go. And I don’t mean generally speaking. I’m not saying that to follow Jesus is to go to church every Sunday. What I’m saying is that all of these things had the power they had because of the witness of what happened as they lived their lives in connection with each other. Had those early believers simply been baptized then gone home and turned on Joel Osteen or Billy Graham, you wouldn’t be sitting here today. God worked THROUGH them, as they remained together. That has always been the plan from the earliest days of the Christian church. Even when Jesus was here, he hung out with a small group – constantly. He frequently did things in huge crowds, but always retreated and processed with the disciples, with his small group. When Jesus started sending others out to preach the gospel message in Luke 10, he chose seventy-two people and paired them up. This life has always been lived with other people with virtually no exceptions. So I am astounded that there are so many people today who think they are following Jesus even as they remain isolated from Christ’s other followers. But I don’t blame them because the church has perpetuated this idea by ignoring how we are to live the Christ-life now and focusing instead on this idea of forgiveness from sin and going to heaven when we die. I don’t want to minimize those things – that’s really important. But what I want to know is, in between now and whenever it is that I die, does Jesus have anything to tell me about how I should LIVE, about what it means to “follow Him” and learn to live my life the way he lived his life? Do I have any hope for actually becoming the kind of person who turns the other cheek rather than responding in violence? Do I have hope of becoming less lustful, more gracious and patient, less quick-tempered? Did Jesus really come to bring me abundant life like he promised, or really just a more tolerable death?
John 10:10 (NLT)
10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.
I’m going to be bold here and come right out and say what I believe is obvious, but it might make some people mad. If you do not at some point commit to developing an intimate relationship with a few other Christians IN THE CHURCH where you worship and serve and give and fail and grow and win and lose alongside them, there is ultimately no hope of real spiritual maturity for you. I’m not saying God will withhold growth from you as punishment, I’m saying that other people are the primary means through which God will make you more like Him, and if you do not enter into the deep relationships that allow God to be present to you through them, you have chosen to sit out on God’s plan for your life.
Romans 12:9 (NLT)
9 Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good.
We haven’t been called to pretend like we love each other, or to act like we are patient and kind to one another. We have been called to put our nose to the grindstone and develop these qualities in real life in the real world. And that demands relationships – it demands a willingness to have a few close friends in the church who can love us with tough love. Love that tells the truth and won’t permit us to think more highly of ourselves than is appropriate.
Romans 12:3 (NIV)
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
Jesus didn’t simply sit in heaven and repeat over and over how much he loves us. He put skin on, he came down here and lived in a house and got a job and built relationships, and taught real things that should make a real difference in our lives, and took not philosophical or theoretical or ideological or symbolic nails through his flesh and blood, but real ones with real rust and real pointed tips. So we are called not to love one another philosophically or theoretically or ideologically or symbolically, but REALLY. We’re called to love so deeply that it costs something, because it cost Jesus everything. And we can’t love that way from behind the walls of our homes or even over the Internet or on the phone. Like Jesus, we too will have to get our bodies out of the house, and out among the people. For us that means we need to get to church where Christ’s body unites, and apply Jesus’ teachings to our daily lives, and learn to live in real community with real people. Real, authentic, legitimate, annoying, frustrating, spoil-your-plans-all-the-time people. If we can’t learn to love THOSE kind of people, we can’t learn to love at all, because that’s all there is.
Before my first child was born I thought I had problems with my temper. After she was born, I KNEW I did. The intensity of the parent-child relationship revealed in me what I had suspected, and showed me how bad my problem was. As Brittany approached two years of age, I was proud of myself for being angry less often, getting control over my temper. Then my second child was born and I very quickly realized I wasn’t doing any better at all. The truth is that over the previous two years when I thought I was getting better, it wasn’t me getting better at all – it was Brittany getting older and easier to manage! As soon as I had another infant, I realized I still had a temper problem.
If you do not have close friends, you do not have any way of knowing if you’re following Jesus faithfully or not, if you’re growing or not.
Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
17 As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.
It’s understandable why people avoid this. It hurts sometimes to be sharpened. Parts of us have to be lopped off and that can hurt. But remember this:
If our intention is to ever experience what the early believers experienced, it will require that we be devoted to what they were devoted to.
And what were they devoted to? They were devoted to being together – they were devoted to each other.
You have a part to play. If you are a Christian, you ARE a part of the body of Christ. Will you take your place? If you’re not in a small group, will you join one? If you haven’t been going regularly to your group, will you recommit yourself, knowing it’s the best God has for you? If you have been jumping around from one church to another, taking things from each church like an a la carte menu, will you pick a church and commit to those people, to love them and serve alongside them, to hear God’s Word together with them, to commit to deep relationships with them, to remembering and focusing on Jesus with them, to praying with them and for them and basically just doing life alongside them?
Will you take your piece of the puzzle and put it where it belongs, locked tightly into the big picture, playing your vital role in making the picture what it needs to be? As we close, allow me to illustrate. Actually, I will allow YOU to illustrate.
