Tilling the Soil of the Soul April 2, 2006
The Spiritual Discipline of Silence
James 3:2-12
Have you ever said something that has gotten you in real trouble?
In between University and Seminary, I worked at a steel mill in Burlington. My boss was the meanest guy in the plant. His name was Earl. Everyone was afraid of Earl – he had a crew cut when they were not anywhere near in style, he never flicked the ash off his cigarette, the ash just got longer and longer until it dropped onto his expansive belly. He was just mean to everyone. I worked outside in the yard on the trucks, and in the winter months, when work was slow, I’d head into the office to stay warm. At one of these times, people were in the office, telling stories and Earl told the story of finding an old empty gas tank in a field. He had brought it into his shop and was welding it to make something out of it. As the welder heated up the metal, the gas that had impregnated the metal years before was released and the tank blew up. Earl said he was lifted right up to the rafters of his workshop by the explosion, but he said, he landed back down without any injury. Without thinking, I said, “so you landed on your head!” the whole room roared with laughter which stopped as quickly as it started as everyone realized who I had insulted. Earl wasn’t laughing – he called me all sorts of body parts and kicked me out of the office. I wasn’t able to escape the cold for at least a week.
Have you every done that? Have you ever opened your mouth without thinking and said something you regretted later. Maybe, like me it was an innocent slip that didn’t go over to big, maybe you let go on someone and hurt them deeply, maybe you do it all the time – open mouth, insert foot.
This is what James says about controlling our mouths: James 3:2-12
Here it is in a nutshell – if we can control our tongue, there is nothing in our lives that we will not be able to control. The tongue is the most powerful part of the body with the power to curse & the power to bless, the power to start fires and the power to put them out. But the difficulty is that it is impossible to tame! But we are called to tame it!
The good new is that nothing is impossible with God – one of the fruits of the Spirit is self control, and as we partner with the Holy Spirit, he enables us to do the impossible – to learn to control our tongue.
One of the main ways that we partner with him in this area is through the Spiritual discipline of Silence
Three areas in the Discipline that I’d like to highlight.
Silence of the Mouth
Silence of the Ears
Interior Silence
Silence of the Mouth
When we think of a vow of silence, we think of this aspect of the discipline of silence. Although there are people who are called to a lifetime vow of silence, most of us are just called to practice silence for small portions of our life. Instead of fasting from food, we fast from words.
Why silence?
To train the tongue
“How can the discipline of silence teach tongue control? On a long fast you discover that much of the food you normally eat is really unnecessary. When you practice silence you find that you don’t need to say many things you think you need to say. In silence we learn to rely more on God’s control in situations where we would normally feel compelled to speak, or speak to much. We find out that he is able to manage situations in which we once thought our input was indispensable. The skills of observation and listening are also sharpened in those who practice silence and solitude so that when they do speak there’s more of a freshness and depth to their words.” – Whitney p. 193
One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are so accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. If we are silent who will take control? God will take control; but we will never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust.
The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation. A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us, so we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If! have done some wrong thing and discover that you know about it I will be very tempted to help you understand my action! Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on that.
One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let our justification rest entirely with God. We don’t need to straighten others out. There is a story of a medieval monk who was being unjustly accused of certain offenses. One day he looked out his window and watched a dog biting and tearing on a rug that had been hung out to dry. As he watched, the Lord spoke to him saying, “That is what I am doing to your reputation. But if you will trust Me you will not need to worry about the opinions of others.” Perhaps more than anything else, silence brings us to believe that God can justify and set things straight. – Foster p. 88-89
By observing a silence in our lives on a regular basis, we are training our tongue so that we learn to control it rather than have it control us.
To Express Worship
Often we think that worship is something that we express by speaking, or singing, or dancing. Worship is usually seen as communication with God in some form or another. But Scripture gives space for standing before God in reverent silence. Habakkuk 2:20: But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him.” Zephaniah 1:7: “Be silent before the Sovereign Lord.” Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”
Try standing before God in silence as part of your daily worship.
To Express Faith
Along with worship, we often think that faith is best expressed in our words, we tell God how much we believe in him or trust him. In our personal relationships, our words often express a lack of faith, a lack of trust – if we do not trust some one to drive properly, we take to back seat driving, if we are not sure if someone can perform a task we talk them through it until we have faith that they can perform it on their own. It is tempting to backseat drive with God. We evangelicals are especially good at telling God how to fix our problems. Would it not express more faith to come to him in silence and trust Him to get it right?
Psalm 62
1My soul waits in silence for God only;
From Him is my salvation.
2He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.
…
5My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
6He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
Isaiah 30:15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength.
Whitney says we can express our faith to God in ways He thinks are beautiful through seasons of eloquent silence.
Ways of Silence
The most obvious way of observing the discipline of silence is to go on a silent retreat, just as we would for Solitude. I mentioned last time that Silence and Solitude are partner disciplines. Just as I recommended that every person take at least one retreat a year in solitude, I’d recommend the same for silence. But I am also aware that that is not enough for training the tongue. It would be like running a marathon once a year as a fitness regime – it only causes pain, not health. So we need to find ways of practicing silence in our everyday life.
Silence at home – you may be able to take a day of silence at home, on a weekend or if you work out of the house. Just explain to your family and or friends, roommates what you are doing and have a day without words as you go about your everyday life. Just as many people can fast and still work, you may even have a work situation where you can observe silence without putting your job and relationships at risk.
This complete abstinence of words is the best way to tell your tongue that you will not be controlled by it.
You could get your household involved in your silence. When I was a kid at camp, we would have a “monk’s meal” where we would attempt to eat with no words – it was mostly silly, but later in life, I discovered that if you retreat at St. John’s Convent, here in the city, their meals are in silence except for a bit of instruction and prayers led by one of the nuns. It was a novel and good experience for me. You as a family, or as a household might try it as a corporate spiritual discipline. As long as it doesn’t get too silly.
Commit to simplicity of words for a time.
Thomas à Kempis wrote “it is easier to be silent altogether than to speak with moderation.” So practicing simplicity of words might be more difficult, but might be more practical to practice in everyday life.
You could commit to saying only the most necessary of words for a day or more. You could find a physical reminder that helps you keep your words simple. The desert fathers and mothers were a group of Christians who retreated to the Egyptian Desert for a time to seek God the first centuries of the Christian church. It was said of one of these fathers, Abba Agathon, that for three years he carried a pebble around in his mouth until he learned to be silent.
My Aunt quit smoking by cutting out spaces in her life where she would smoke. She began by not smoking in the kitchen, and then not smoking in the car. As she broke the habit of smoking in those spaces, she would add more, until there was no place left to smoke. You could do this with silence, and chose places in your life where you will be silent for a time.
Silence of the Ears
I quoted Richard Foster when I spoke on Solitude when he writes, “Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. We keep up a constant stream of words even if they are inane. We buy radios that strap to our wrist or fit over our ears so that if no one else is around at least we are not condemned to silence. T. S. Eliot analyzed our culture so well when he wrote, “Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence.”
Even if we cannot keep a time of silence ourselves, we can learn to live without the constant noise of background music, TV or radio. It is hard to hear from God when we are filling our ears with other noises and voices. You may want to give up media and “company-keeping” noise for the two weeks that are left of lent. Maybe you can just turn the radio off in the car, and become aware of God’s presence as you drive.
Our practice of outward silence, is not just getting some peace and quiet (although, that is good) it is being silent before the Lord.
Interior Silence
I remember on one of my first spiritual retreats, I was involved in a church where some people seemed to hear from God constantly. I was a bit angry and bewildered that I wasn’t hearing from him – he wasn’t talking to me. I was out in a canoe playing, and trying to listen, and musing about this frustration, and in my heart, I cried out to God, “why don’t you talk to me?!” I heard him reply in my heart, as clear as day, “I’ll talk when you learn to be quiet.”
Keeping silent on the outside, either through not talking, or shutting the noise off, is easy compared with learning inner silence. My mind is constantly spinning, I’m always solving some problem, daydreaming about the future, mussing about an event, jumping from topic to topic in my mind. People like me need to earn to keep silence, not just on the outside, but also on the inside.
You probably have friends who ask you questions, and then even before you’ve started into the answer, they’re talking about another topic. We can’t be that way with God – we have to slow down and listen to what he says. As Eli teaches the young boy Samuel, we have to learn to say “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening,” and then actually listen.
Give the discipline of Silence a try. It will help you control your tongue, it will enrich you worship and your faith, it will help you hear the voice of God.
