OBJECTIVES:
The hearer will be instructed on how to respond when in conflict with other believers.
The hearer will be motivated to choose the way of meekness in order to bring glory to the name of Christ.
INTRO:
My friend Jeff Hartwell is a chiropractor in Oregon. He and his wife are also wonderful Christians who follow Jesus closely. They felt the call of God to sell their clinic and their home and go to Costa Rica to learn Spanish and prepare for a life of mission work among Spanish speaking people along the Mexican border in Arizona. They felt certain this was God’s plan when a Christian man in Vancouver WA called and expressed interest in helping his brother purchase Jeff’s chiropractic business. They worked out a plan, and the man’s brother sold his clinic in CA and moved to Oregon. All that remained was the finalization of some of the details on the contract.
Jeff and Allison had raised support for the missionary school where they were going and had made all sorts of plans for their year in Costa Rica. Then, with 2 days before the final sale papers would be signed, everything started going wrong.
The two brothers began making comments about how they were going to change everything after they took over the clinic, even mentioning how they were going to fire the staff and hire their own people.
This made Jeff and Allison very uncomfortable, for their reputation with the staff and with their patients appeared to be at stake. And so they did what was very difficult: they took their offer to sell the clinic off of the table.
As you can imagine, this did not make the 2 brothers very happy! In fact, they threatened to sue Jeff if he did not agree to pay them $6000 to reimburse them for their moving expenses.
It’s quiz time. What would you do? More importantly, what should you do if you’re in such a situation?
Obviously such dramatic situations are rare enough that most of us probably won’t face something like that. But the longer you are involved with Christian people, the more likely it is that you will have some sort of disagreement.
• It might be over a used car you sell to a fellow believer that ends up being a lemon.
• It might be over the work a Christian contractor did on your home.
• Perhaps it will be over a business contract you made to go into partnership with a Christian friend.
• If you are involved in ministry either as a leader of others or with others leading you – it is likely that at some point there may be a misunderstanding between you and one you lead or one who leads you. How will you handle such a situation?
While in Ephesus, Paul received a report about the Corinthian church that he founded 2 years earlier. And among the problems he heard they were having, he heard that they were having disputes with each other that they were taking to the court system to settle. In the 6th chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul instructs the Corinthians (as well as us) how they should handle the situation when a believer comes into a conflict with another believer that involves personal property.
As we continue our study on “Real Life Christianity” lets take a look at how we are to apply this passage of scripture to our real life experiences.
1Cor. 6:1-8 (NIV)
If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? 2 Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! 4 Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! 5 I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? 6 But instead, one brother goes to law against another — and this in front of unbelievers!
7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.
1. Believers should consult church leaders to help resolve conflicts with each other. (v. 1-6)
In the church in Corinth there was obviously a problem with spiritually immature people taking other believers to court in order to settle disputes.
This demonstrates two things about them:
1. They were more concerned with protecting their rights (winning) than with the bigger picture of the reputation of the church of Jesus Christ.
The Oakland Raiders, and in particular their owner Al Davis, have been known for their motto “Just Win, Baby” for many years. For them this has meant it doesn’t matter how you do it – just win!
That is NOT to be the mindset of a Christian when a dispute arises with another believer. We are called to be sure and keep aware of the bigger picture. We must ask ourselves – if I press for what is rightfully mine in this situation, how will this affect the unity of the church? How will this affect the reputation of the church to outsiders? Will it make people more likely or less likely to submit their lives to Jesus Christ and be saved from hell?
2. They were unwilling to submit to the leaders of their church.
Paul says it quite clearly: “Can it be possible that there is NO ONE in your church body whom you trust enough to settle these matters?”
Remember what Paul said in chapter 2:16 – “We have the mind of Christ.” Because we’ve been given the Holy Spirit, we have the mind of Christ, giving us the ability to make right judgments between right and wrong.
We’ve also been given the word, described in Hebrews 4:12 -
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
So the question really becomes this: would you rather trust a judge who is bound only by the laws of the land to determine who is right and who is wrong – or would you rather have someone who has the mind of Christ and is instructed by the Word of God make that decision?
Paul tells us that if we find ourselves in a dispute with another believer, instead of rushing off to draw up a lawsuit, we should seek out a mature Christian leader and ask them if they would help judge the issue clearly according to the principles of God’s word and according to the wisdom imparted by the Holy Spirit.
However, this necessitates a willingness by both parties in the dispute to abide by the decision of the leaders consulted, and a heartfelt desire to bring unity to the church. It also requires Godly leaders who are willing to make a judgment based upon God’s word and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
TRANS: But there is another way to solve the conflict besides bringing it before church leaders for them to solve.
2. Believers should willingly surrender when a conflict threatens to harm the unity and/or the reputation of the church. (1 Cor. 5:7-8, Matt. 5:38-45)
You’ve heard the cliché “Turn the other cheek”, right? Do you know where it comes from? The mouth of Jesus…
Matt. 5:38-45 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
If these verses describe how we are to act toward evil people (v. 39), then how much more generous and meek should be strive to be toward a believer with whom we find ourselves in conflict?
As Paul put it in verses 7 and 8 “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?”
Rather than drag your brother or sister in Christ through a painful conflict that will hurt the unity of the church; rather than take your brother or sister to court and thereby hurt the reputation of the church with outsiders, Paul says it would be better to just allow yourself to be cheated or to be wronged.
TRANS: Why? Because there in verse 7 Paul says 7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already.
It won’t matter if you win the case or lose it – before it even goes to the jury, you’ve already lost. The church of Jesus Christ has also lost. But…
3. When we choose to surrender we may lose materially, but we will gain spiritually. (Matt. 5:5, Prov. 26:2)
Matt. 5:5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
To be meek: to be gentle, humble.
When someone feels wronged by you or when you feel wronged by someone else, and you choose to willingly surrender your position and give them what they are asking for – that takes HUMILITY. It takes a GENTLE spirit. That is what meekness is. But Christ told us that when we lived life that way, we wouldn’t lose – we would actually inherit the earth!
Jeff’s story part 2: Though he had some people telling him he should definitely NOT do so. He chose to tell the brothers that he was willing to pay the $6000, if they would just produce an itemized list of the expenses they incurred. He chose to do this in order to avoid the dishonor of being brought to court by another believer. Some people thought he was a fool for doing so. “He doesn’t have a case, Jeff! He’d never win in court!”
You’ll never guess what else Jeff did. When these brothers opened up a chiropractic clinic just down the street from Jeff’s clinic a couple of months later, Jeff showed up at their open house with a vase full of flowers to show his support of their new business.
Later that year, the younger brother came to him and apologized for how things went down, and acknowledged that he and his brother acted wrongly.
Oh – and the brothers never did come up with that itemized list, and the matter was eventually dropped.
What happened in this situation reminded me of Prov. 26:2…
Prov. 26:2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.
This is just one example of what happens when a believer is willing to trust God enough to follow God’s word even though it seems foolish. Jeff could have lost a few thousand dollars. But he kept his integrity. He gained intimacy with God. He gained a reputation as an honorable man. He gained a restored relationship with his brothers in the Lord. In short, he laid up treasures in heaven.
CONCLUSION:
What about you? How will you respond the next time you have a grievance against someone who is a believer? How will you respond the next time someone has a grievance against you?
As you live a life of REAL LIFE CHRISTIANITY, may you have the courage to endure wrongs done to you in order to keep the unity of the church and to raise the reputation of the Church of Jesus Christ.
