The Challenge of Turning Critics into Friends
Job 23:10-14
How do you handle criticism? Job had his share of critics. He learned to handle his critics with class. God helped Job turn his critics into friends. In fact God encouraged his critics to become prayer partners with Job.
Job demonstrated that it is possible to live under pressure and have courage and endurance.
Ernest Hemingway, author of “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” boiled down the definition of courage to three words, “Grace Under Pressure.” Job is an excellent example of how to live and practice a life of grace lived under pressure.
Charles Swindoll, in his book, A Man of Heroic Endurance, Job, tells that history records how one of our presidents, Abraham Lincoln lived with grace under pressure. Lincoln was slandered, libeled, and hated by many people. He was publicly called about every name imaginable by the press of his day, namely such as: grotesque baboon, a third-rate country lawyer who once split rails and now splits the Union, a coarse vulgar joker, a dictator, an ape, and many other names.
As President Lincoln learned, no matter what he did, there were going to be people who would not be pleased. Lincoln handled all this criticism with patience, forbearance, and determination uncommon to most men. (Page 182)
From the life of Job we can learn how to handle our critics with class and turn our critics into friends.
I. Job Endured Many Heartaches and Pressures
On a scale of one to ten, where would you put yourself on the scale according to your level of endurance?
Compared to Job, most of us would have to confess that our level of endurance is very low.
Job suffered the destruction of family and all possessions, the heartbreaking deaths of all his children, and finally, the loss of health and happiness. On top of all this came the discouraging presence of his friends. His friends were determined to use their discomforting words to wrench out a confession of guilt from him. In their view he must be guilty of sin to undergo such suffering. From Job chapters 3 through 37, Job listens to his friends rant and rave about his lack of righteousness and his sinful ways.
Eliphaz sums up Job’s problem in chapter 22:
• You are suffering because you have sinned (Job 22:1-11).
• You’re a hypocrite because you’ve hidden your sins (Job 22:12-20).
• You need to repent because your sins are obvious to everyone (Job 22:21-30).
Job believed in his heart that his so called “comforters” were wrong and did not have their facts straight. Even though Job was being criticized unjustly, he demonstrated grace under pressure.
I would confess that early on in my ministry my endurance level for criticism was low. In my first church in Kansas City, Kansas where I began my pastoral ministry, we relocated from 20th and Quindaro ten miles west to a growing area of the city. We built a new parsonage and a new church at 7303 Yecker, KCK. When the church was being built I experienced some challenging times as a new pastor.
When the parsonage was nearly completed we needed to order a telephone so I ordered a white telephone to match white walls. I reported the order along with other items to the church board. The church treasurer spoke up and said, “Why didn’t you order a black telephone? It’s cheaper that a white telephone!”
In my lack of experience and immaturity I responded with comments that did not help the situation. My endurance level was way too low.
A debate followed in the church board, some for the white phone and other for a black phone. Eventually the majority went for the white phone.
What was the problem? We were so involved in the building project we lost sight of our primary mission – to carry on the work and ministry that Jesus started. When our primary mission is forgotten the most insignificant things can cause polarization.
There are several things we can do to experience endurance when confronted with criticism.
1. Before you respond, think how important the issue is in the light of eternity. What significance will this issue have fifty years from now?
2. Take a break from the issue. Suggest the group calmly look at the pros and cons of the issue.
3. Postpone discussing the issue until a later time when people’s brain have a time to catch up with their emotions.
4. You can love your critics, but that doesn’t mean you have to hang out with them. Spend most of your time with positive, encouraging people who practice the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
5. One of the keys to having endurance and grace when under pressure is to keep and maintain balance in your life.
Job is an excellent model for us to demonstrate how to experience God’s grace when under pressure.
II. Job Responded to Life’s Challenges with Class
How do you respond to life’s challenges? Job responded with trust. In spite of going through trials that severely tested his faith, Job maintained his trust in God. Job’s theme in responding to his critics might be stated this way, “I am unable to locate the presence of God, but I trust You, Lord.”
Job knew that God was for him and not against him. Job says, “If only I knew where to find God, I would go to his throne and talk with him there. God would give me a fair hearing. (Job 23:3, 6b) Job knew that if he could talk to God, God would not say to him, “Shame on you!” God would understand him, forgive him, and commend him for facing the truth.”
We have the assurance that when we come to the Lord he accepts us just as we are, shows us His love, and forgives our sin.
From time to time we all feel like Job and say, “If only I knew where to find God, I would go to his throne and talk with him there.” When Jesus appeared to Thomas following his resurrection, Thomas believed when he personally saw the risen Lord. Jesus said to Thomas and included all of us here today when he said, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who haven’t seen me and believe anyway.” John 20:29
Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up some moonlight night, look out your bedroom window, and see some skywriting that says, “Dear Ray, I hear you. I’m right here. I’m still in charge of the universe. I love you, Signed God”
Or it would be nice when you come home, turn on Fox news, and hear Jesus interrupt the news and say, “Before you listen to the news, Ray, I want to talk to you a few minutes and give you really great news.”
The fact is our walk with the Lord is a walk of faith. Our walk of faith is not blind faith, it is reasoning faith that is based on the fact of God’s Word and the evidence of God and His creation.
We can respond like Job, though we don’t see our Lord, like Job we trust him. Job could say to Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, “You can say whatever you wish against me. God knows my heart. God knows the truth. God and I are on speaking terms. I trust Him. I believe in Him. Furthermore, after these trials are over, and God has accomplished His purpose within me, ‘I shall come forth as gold.’”
Here is something you can count on. When you hold steady during times of testing and the trial is past, you will come out a deeper and richer person. Here is bedrock truth! Here is the foundation you can stand on when tested. You can say with Job, “I’m unable to understand the plan of God, but I trust Him.”
When going through challenging times remember these action initiatives:
1. Resist the temptation to explain everything; God knows.
2. Focus on the future benefits, not the present pain; God leads.
3. Embrace the sovereignty of the Almighty; God controls.
We live by faith and not by random chance or fate. There are many things we cannot explain, but we know that someday all things will come together and make good sense.
III. Job’s Critics Became His Friends
Job 42:7-10 “Job prayed for his friends.” It is with the help of the Lord that his critics become friends.
We all needs friends. Job could have used friends who encouraged him rather than criticized and accused him of evil actions. One thing about his critics, they did spend time with Job.
One of the loneliest times in my life was when my mom and I moved from Gypsum to Sterling, KS. I started High School in a class that was much larger – In Gypsum there were 8 in my class and in Sterling there were 31. I had purchased an English racer bicycle. I rode the bicycle to school and my welcome after school was to find my bicycle bent all out of shape. Someone had taken an iron tool and bent the bicycle so it was not ride- able.
I found encouragement and friendships at the Missionary Church where we started attending. The pastor’s son of the Reformed Presbyterian Church also became a good friend.
True friendship and fellowship are found in the Body of Christ the local Church.
Someone has said that friends make a rainy day a sunny day. A friend is someone who walks with you when the whole world walks out on you. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”
All of us need friends. Admiral Richard E. Byrd, the famous explorer, published a little book describing his experiences during the several months he spent alone at a weather base in the Antarctica. Originally Byrd had looked forward to the solitude, but once he settled down in his frigid accommodation he found himself longing to be with other people. He wrote in his diary, “This morning I had to admit to myself that I was lonely. Try as I may, I find I can’t take loneliness casually. It is too big, I must not dwell on it; otherwise I am undone.”
It is possible to be alone, but not lonely. It is also possible to be lonely though surrounded by many people. On several occasions I have attended large meetings attended by thousands of people, but I didn’t know anyone there. I didn’t know anyone to talk to with on a personal level.
I remember a time when I was on a trip to Israel. We stopped a couple of days in Cairo, Egypt. Our hotel was close to the Gaza Pyramids so I walked about a mile to see the pyramids up close. By the time I reached the pyramids the sun set and it became dark. As I walked around the mammoth stones I was alone, 10,000 miles from home. Yet I wasn’t lonely – I was caught up in the historical moment. The excitement of the site pushed all fear out of my mind – I thought, Moses probably walked near the same site thousands of years ago. I was alone but God’s presence felt very near.
Several years ago I read about a bricklayer who needed a friend. The bricklayer wrote to his boss applying for sick-leave. He wrote:
“When I got to the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked off some bricks around the top so I rigged up a beam with the pulley at the top of the building and hoisted a couple barrels of bricks. When I had fixed the damaged areas there were a lot of bricks left over. Then I went to the bottom and began releasing the line. Unfortunately, the barrel started coming down jerking me up. I decided to hang on since I was too far off the ground by then to jump, and halfway up I met the barrel of bricks coming down, fast. I received a hard blow on my shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers pinched and jammed in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground, hard, it burst it’s bottom allowing the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel. So I started down again at high speed. Half-way down I met the empty barrel coming up, fast, and received severe injuries to my shins. When I hit the ground I landed on the pile of spilled bricks getting several painful and deep bruises. At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go of my grip on the rope. The barrel came down fast, giving me another blow to my head and putting me in the hospital. I respectfully request sick leave.”
Yes, indeed, here was a bricklayer who needed a friend.
Jesus modeled friendship to a lonely man, Zacchaeus, (Luke 19). Zacchaeus was a lonely man. As a tax collector and hardened IRS agent he didn’t have many friends. All his wealth did not bring him friends. He was lonely and searching for meaning in life. He had a magnificent house with the finest furniture and well trained servants, but personal friends did not gather around his table.
Through the Jericho gossip line, Zacchaeus heard that Jesus was going to pass by. He had heard about Jesus and was curious to see what Jesus was all about. He was a short man so he had to climb a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus pass by.
When Jesus passed by, he saw a lonely and searching heart, and walked over to the tree, looked up and said, “Zacchaeus, don’t waste any time. Come down for today I am coming to your house.” (Luke 19:5) It’s just like Jesus to give his time to one person who is searching for a true friend. In Jesus, Zacchaeus found a friend. Jesus may have said to Zacchaeus, “Zacchaeus, others may not love and appreciate you as a person. I know you have become rich by swindling your fellow countrymen. Even so I want you to know that I love you and appreciate you. I want to be your friend.”
As they sat at his dining table Zacchaeus listened to Jesus and surrendered his life and resources to Jesus. He said, “Lord, tomorrow I am going to give half my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anyone out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” (Luke 19:8) Because of Zacchaeus’s faith and radical transformation Jesus said, “Today salvation has come to your house.” (Luke 19:9)
On another occasion Jesus traveled through Samaria. He stopped outside the city of Sychar near Jacob’s well. Jesus rested by the well while the disciples went into the city to find food. While Jesus waited, a woman came to the well at a time when other people were not usually around. The woman was living a lifestyle that was despised by all decent people in the city of Sychar. Jesus spoke kindly to her and asked her to give him a drink. He shared with her the way to eternal life. Jesus was a true friend to the woman and her life was transformed. Because of her witness many other Samaritans also believed and became Christ followers. (John 4:1-42)
True friends are givers and not takers. Learning to give is the first step to a successful friendship.
Handle criticisms by praying for your critics. Pray that God will bless your critics. Through God’s love, God’s grace and prayer, critics can become friends.
You may not understand why you are being unjustly criticized, but you can continue to trust the Lord. Be open to making changes that might help to get everyone on the same page.
In every situation Jesus is available to help you. You can be a person of courage – living with grace under pressure.
Closing Prayer of Commitment
