Dealing with disagreement. Philipp 4:1-3 WBC 12/03/06am
Fantastically useful, practical and real passage this morning.
I want to take you through it- through the three main characters in it
PAUL
He’s the one with the birds-eye view in this… and he starts by saying
PHP 4:1 Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!
Now- it’s hard to tell if this is
- closure on ch 3- standing firm by following his example
- what he is about to explain to them. Standing firm in the Lord by being united- and allowing no chink in the armour
Truth is it doesn’t matter
He really waxes lyrical about how much he loves them. More than almost anywhere else. Why?
- well- they are in for a rebuke, challenge from him
o people need to KNOW they are loved FIRST to receive any such thing
o need to be in the right frame of mind to HEAR
- any rebuke must COME from love
o there are traditions of rebuke that just don’t work, perhaps because they don’t come from love or are not shown/preceded by love
o Illustr: one of the candidates we interviewed for YP. Spoke a lot of how he had been rebuked, and rebuked the youth (and was kind of proud of it- in a spiritual way, not nasty way). I realised it was because he was from a certain kind of Pentecostalism where you "needed your daily rebuke" part of their ’heritage’. Like ’ a rebuke a day keeps the devil away’. (but doesn’t work if it’s not needed or done for love)
So, he genuinely describes them as those he loves and longs for (to see)… how they are his joy and crown
- they make him happy
- they are the festive garland on his head (sign of joy) OR
- victor’s wreath. Fruit of his victorious labours- and a jewel in his crown when he gets to heaven. His reward
o they have made all his labour worthwhile, not in vain. They are so special to him
Well- Paul’s the one who brings the situation to light and is about to blow the cover on it. What situation? What can we learn from it?
- two important folks were quarrelling
- it had to be worked out
- and it happened. In the early church. In the ’good old apostolic days’
o they had issues/people just like us. It’s not the end of the world. Nothing unusual. Can be worked out
" Paul knew this as he was working it out with Barnabas (over John-Mark, Acts 15)
Maybe you are like Paul- you know about a situation that needs dealing with?
EUODIA AND SYNTCHE
Here’s the next character (s!)
- these two ladies. Both Christians. "names in the book of life"
- good, committed folks. Godly folks. "fellow workers"
o had worked with Paul (don’t know how)
o loved by Paul
They’ve had a bust-up. Quarrelled. Fallen out. Big-time
- I’ve seen it happen! Two VERY godly friends of mine. Over something quite small. Were best friends
Can see why it tears Paul apart
- and might THEM… and the church. Which is another reason why he addresses it. For the greater good
o Illustr: we’ve seen that happen, too. Churches split. People leave, lose faith… and unbelievers look on and the name of the Lord is defamed because of it.
o "By this will all men know…"- well, the opposite happens!
You can see- it’s a big issue. In fact, maybe the biggest. 9/10 issues in employment are relational
He addresses it, and the Bible does. It gives "rules of engagement"
- states these things must be dealt with.
o Not by hiding, burying them, avoiding them. Not by ’weak love’
o Not even by ’confrontation’ (some like that)
o But by dealing with them- in a loving, firm and right way
- It states dealing with these things is more important than worship… can hinder your worship
MT 5:23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
- And Jesus gave directions on how to deal with it. mat 18. Start small. Deal with it privately. One on one. But get help if that doesn’t work. (it’s all very respectful, actually)
MT 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
- And just after this Jesus deals with forgiveness- 70x7
The Bible shows us what God expects of us in conflict/disagreement- and how to do it
- certainly that’s what Paul is talking about when in Ch 2 he says ’if you have any blessing- then be like minded’ How- your attitude should be the humility of Jesus
So- why had they fallen out? No idea. But people do- for (to them) very good reasons
- Christians feel passionately about things!
- Illustr: MW. When talking about forgoing things for the sake of unity one leader said "you have to understand- we paid a high price for these things that might just be ’given away’"
o I understood, and respected them
- Illustr: and it IS true> There are some things we can’t agree with others on. Mustn’t compromise on. Jesus! (if you don’t love our Lord then I can’t work with you. It’s all about Him.)
However- most often find people fall out over- non crucial things. No n fundamentals. Personality, personal things!. Misunderstandings
- hence why loving relationship is so important beforehand! You then don’t misunderstand… misinterpret… take it personally
- certainly pastoring gets easier (?) better after a few years as you know where people are coming from
Now the difficult bit in this. Paul asks them to (lit) "have the same mind in the Lord" (like Phil 2 "likeminded")
- what does that mean? Well
- 1) our faith, the Lord- is the reason we work things through. We do it "in the Lord".
- 2) but what of "have the same mind"?
- - what if you can’t? Surely he knows you can’t always! Yes- but he knows
o you can agree to disagree -in a Christian manner. Fittingly
o you can… DO… have the same mind "in the Lord"
" about the Lord. About Jesus!
" About what matters. The big thing (s)
" And part of maturity… being godly… is ’not getting het up (passing judgement) about disputable matters (Ro 14:1)… or personal matters
" Letting your personality, personal opinions, get in the way
" Lots of personal stuff needs to be sacrificed to Jesus
So- in summary it means (just as the NIV interprets): find one mind.. agree with one another… find peace… in the Lord… because you are Christians
- (because this is, in the end , where the rubber hits the road)
Maybe you’re not Paul in this. Maybe you are one of these folks. Needing to get sorted?
But there’s a third person. Maybe you’re them
SYZGUS
His name isn’t there in the NIV. It’s in the foot note- because loyal yoke-fellow could be loyal-Syzgus. As yoke-fellow was a name
Don’t know if this actually IS his name- and this is a pun; "loyal Syzgus- be just what your name implies and come help. Help these friends of mine through this"
Or maybe he’s invoking someone’s involvement cryptically. Someone he doesn’t want to name- but he knows this label will stir them
- maybe it’s buck-shot. Maybe there are 10 people hearing this letter who think it’s them
- (probably there are 30 here who do!)
Whatever- these are people who are peace-makers (and they will be blessed)
- most often: loyal, mature. Those who know the Lord and people well
o but maybe don’t know Euodia and Syntyche too well. Are independent, detached
- mediators
Paul- who blows the cover on this… brings it into the light for it to be dealt with… says "help them! They mean a lot to me and we have worked together. Help them work this through!"
Is that you? Called to help? Or invited to help?
Or maybe you are Euodia and Syntyche- needing to be reconciled with someone
Or Paul- the one who lovingly sees things and brings them into the open
Let’s pray and see what God says to us
Songs:
- we bow down and confess
- brother, sister, let me serve you
- the Church’s one foundation
