HOW TO KEEP FINANCES FROM FIZZLING THE FLAME
Howard Dayton said, in a report released in 1986, that at the time, 56% of all divorces were a result of financial tension in the home. (Howard Dayton, Homemade, June 1986)
Let’s face it, how we handle money makes a great impact on our home life, on our families, and on our marriages. When we make wise choices and wise decisions, our marriages benefit. When we make unwise decisions, they suffer.
So, how are we to handle our finances in the home? What do we do to keep our money problems from destroying the romance? How do we keep finances from fizzling the flame?
This morning I would like to share with you 5 biblical principals to wisely handling money in your marriage; 5 ways to keep finances from fizzling the flame.
1. Consider your spouse.
> Matthew 7:12 Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you,
do also the same for them ...
God has wired us all differently. He has made us with
different priorities, different dreams, different personalities. Some of
us are spenders. Some are savers. Some of us think one thing is a
good deal, while others think we’re wasting money. God has made us
different. When you’re thinking about your finances, when you’re
talking about money, consider your spouse.
For instance, most of us preachers love books. We seldom
see a book we don’t want. Tom told me that after attending
seminary, he knew the Lord wasn’t calling him to be a preacher
because he was willing to sell his books. Our wives don’t always
share our fascination with books. I know a student whose wife
placed a book on his plate at the supper table one night because she
told him they didn’t have money for groceries. He’d spent it all on
books.
Well, he needed to consider his spouse before he continued to buy what was important to him.
Gentlemen, you need to consider your spouse when you’re making financial decisions. Ladies, you need to consider your husband and his feelings, try to see things from his perspective when talking about money. If you continue to spend, imagine the helplessness your husband or your wife feels when he or she can’t see you ever getting ahead.
If you want to keep finances from fizzling the flame, consider your spouse. If you want to keep finances from fizzling the flame, count the cost.
- Luke 14:25-33
In this parable, in this instruction, Jesus is primarily talking about the importance of counting the cost of following Him. He says, “If you are going to be His disciple, you must count the cost.” The principle He leaves us with, however, is that everything has a cost. When we make a decision we must count the cost.
2. Count the Cost - “Think for a moment of the most worthless, unnecessary purchase you have made in recent years. Perhaps it was an electric shaver that now sits in the garage or an article of clothing that will never be worn. It is important to realize that this item was not purchased with your money; it was bought with your time, which you traded for money. In effect, you swapped a certain portion of your allotted days on earth for that piece of junk that now clutters your home.” (Dr. James Dobson & Ron Blue, Four Principles of Money Management, Family.org web site).
For that purchase, you traded time you could have spent with your family, that you now have to spend working. Let me ask you, how many of your son’s ball games will you have to miss working overtime, in order to buy that bigger house? How many of your daughter’s recitals will that new computer cost you?
When God placed Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden He told them to tend the garden. There is nothing wrong with work, we need to make productive use of our time. But, remember that everything has a cost.
Do you remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? A man was robbed, beaten and left for dead on the side of the road. The Good Samaritan came along, doctored the man, took him to a hotel and paid for the injured man to stay there while he healed. I wonder. How many of us would be able to do that today? I am afraid that the debt load that many carry in order to have the latest, or newest, has cost them the ability to minister to those in need. The treasures we’re paying on here, often keeps us from accumulating treasures in heaven.
Gentlemen, ladies, count the cost. To keep finances from fizzling the flame, consider your spouse, count the cost, and third, choose what matters most.
3. COMMIT TO GOD WHAT’S HIS
> Job 1:21 Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.
> Leviticus 27:30 A tithe of everything from the land ... belongs to the Lord; it is holy to the Lord.
Job had the right idea. He understood that everything he had, everything he owned had been given to him by the Lord. He understood that God had given him the strength and the drive to accomplish and to accumulate what he had. He had no doubts about where his blessings came from. He said, “It’s all God’s.”
From what we have been given, God commands that we give a portion back to Him. In the Old Testament, the giving back to God started with the tithe. In the New Testament, Jesus approves of the tithe as well.
This church gives more than 15% of all undesignated offerings to support ministries outside the direct ministry of this church. We do that because it is important that we send missionaries around the world and support their work, but we also do that because we remember that all we have as a church has been given to us by God. We never want to forget that we are just stewards of what God gives us.
That same idea applies to the home. We need to be giving back to God, a portion of what He gives us. It reminds us that we are not just living for ourselves. It reminds us that God is the giver of all we have, and it carries a blessing as well.
Listen to what the Lord says in the book of Malachi.
- Malachi 3:8-11
Oh my friend, when we are faithful with what gives us, He can make what we have remaining stretch much further.
How do you keep finances from fizzling the flame? You do that by considering your spouse. You do that by counting the cost. You do that by committing to God what’s His, and last, you do that by cherishing what you have.
4. CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE
- Philippians 4:4-7
In these verses Paul says we are to pray about what we need. But he says we are to do so in a certain way. In verse 6 Paul says, “Ask God, with thanksgiving...” In other words, we need to take time to be thankful for what we have. You must cherish what you have.
Oh, I wonder how much financial pain, how much financial bondage we could escape, if we would only take our eyes off of our neighbor’s stuff, if we would only take our eyes off the things we don’t have, and instead spend time counting the blessings God has already given us?
If you thanked God for the things you do havel; if you thanked God the house He has already given you; if you thanked Him for the clothes you have, the food you eat, the luxuries you already enjoy; if you would take the time to thank Him for the blessings He has already given, what peace He could bring to your life and your home. In verse 7 Paul says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".
Thanking God for what He has already given you, brings peace. Look there, further down the page at what Paul says in verses 10-13.
- Philippians 4:10-13
Do you see what Paul says? He says, “I have learned to be content.” What a blessing it is to learn to be content. To have that peace regardless of your situation.
Today, you can have that peace. Today you can know that freedom. Today, you can have that help in your home. Today, you can have the strength to consider your spouse, to count the cost, to commit to God what’s His, and to cherish what you have. You can quit spending. You can get that monkey off your back. The key, the secret, is in strengthening your relationship with Jesus Christ. Look there in verse 13.
> Philippians 4:13 I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.
How many things? All things! Can you break your addiction to shopping? Yes! You can do all things. Can you escape the home shopping network? Yes! You can do all things. Can you escape the new car trap? Yes! You can do all things. Can you quit buying things simply to impress your friends and neighbors? Yes! You can do all things. Can you escape the premium channels, can you say no to more books, can you be content with the tools you have? Can you have financial peace in your home? Yes! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
The question this morning then is, “will you?” Will you make the changes necessary in order to have that peace?
