Islington Baptist Church February 19, 2006
Proverbs 5 Proverbs 6:20-35
How to lose your health, wealth, and reputation all at once
On Wednesday Keith dropped by my office. In the midst of our conversation he asked me what I was doing to protect myself from sexual immorality. In case you are wondering what “sexual immorality” is, it is sexual sin. Sexual immorality involves a violation of how God intends us to express ourselves sexually. Sexual immorality includes such things as: Pornography, adultery, pedophilia, lustful thinking, rape, swinging, flirting, pre marital sex, homosexuality, phone sex, internet affairs, etc. The reason Keith asked me this was because in the last 2 months two pastors who I personally know have been caught cheating on their wives. This is tragic. It has hurt them and their churches.
In the book of Proverbs, which I hope you started to read this week the topic of sexual purity and faithfulness in marriage comes up in a big way. i.e parts of chapter 2, all of chapter 5, the majority of chapter 6, all of chapter 7 all focus on sexual purity.
The portion of God’s word that we are going to consider this morning is Proverbs 5.
Proverbs 5 is all about adultery and how the committing of this sin can quickly wreck a persons life. Hence the sermon title.
Info on adultery
Statistics would seem to indicate that up to 1/3 of those who are married will or have committed adultery.
Only about 3 percent of those who get divorced for their “lovers sake” actually marry the person they were cheating with. The divorce rate amongst these people is 75%
READ PROVERBS 5
Introductory comments
-the intention of this text is not to pin the blame for all affairs on women. This is simply not true.
-The reason for the particular perspective of this text is because it is the words of a father to his son—hence the warning to watch out for seductresses.
The consequences of adultery
Divorce
Cheating on one’s spouse will most likely ruin the marriage. In the Bible, sexual immorality is one of the very few acceptable grounds for divorce. Matthew 5:31-32.
Regret
In Proverbs 5:10-14 it says ….. What’s the dominant feeling? Regret at such foolishness and lack of wisdom.
Impoverishment v.10
Sex is not cheap. The sex industry rakes in billions of dollars a year. It empties people’s pockets.
One of the quickest ways to become poor is to have an affair. The affair will most likely lead to divorce. Divorce is the quickest way for 2 people to get poor.
Illness
If you go through life and remain sexually pure and then get married to someone who has had the same commitment before God, the odds of you contracting a sexual disease are virtually zero. Now, on the other hand, if you view sex as a bargaining chip and are keen on sowing your wild oats and experiencing all sorts of things, you might as well book an appointment with your Doctor now.
Sexual immorality makes people sick physically, mentally, spiritually.
Embarrassment and shame
Once the word is out that a person has cheated on their spouse their “stock” drops. Their kids, parents, relatives, co workers, etc all look at that person in a different light—and rightfully so.
Note Proverbs 5:14
Heartbreak
-of your own heart, your spouse’s, your children, your parents, etc
You become a target
If the person you are cheating with is married, how do you think their spouse is going to respond? In Proverbs 6:27-35 it says ‘Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house. But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away; for jealousy arouses a husband’s fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. He will not accept any compensation; he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.
Judgment
“For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.” Proverbs 5:21-23
Do you want to get in trouble with God? A quick way to do so is to disobey the rules He has laid down as it regards one’s sexuality.
To be under God’s judgment is a fearful thing. Each person should concern themselves with getting right with God and being at peace with Him.
HOW TO GUARD AGAINST ADULTERY
1. Watch out for those of the opposite sex who have silky speech
Proverbs 5:3 “The lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil”
It seems that those who have sex on their mind will say almost anything to get it. We need to be on our guard. If someone is singing your praises and flirting with you with their words, watch out.
2. Don’t be a fool and think you can be married and have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex.
Here’s something I think is true. Do you agree or disagree? “If you have significant contact with members of the opposite sex (regardless of whether you are married or unmarried) the odds are pretty good that you are going to fall in and out of lust (not love) with some of those people over time.”
If you are married you would be wise to not become close friends with someone of the opposite sex. You will save yourself from trouble.
If you are single, you need to remember that probably half the time, the feelings you are experiencing towards the person of the opposite sex is lust not love. If marriage is your goal- take your time with the opposite sex. Build a friendship. Stay away from the physical- it only confuses things. If you want to know what love is, read 1 Corinthians 13.
3. If you’ve got kids, educate them about sex and marriage and love
Proverbs 5:1 “My son,….”
My son is 9 years old. Unfortunately, in the Art Gallery, on T.V, and on the internet, he’s already seen naked people. It’s my job to talk to him about this stuff and warn him about the dangers associated with pornography. In addition to this I need to teach him about what it means to be a good husband, etc.
4. Guard what is coming into your mind
If you watch T.V with sexual content, surf the internet for porn, read sexually charged novels, hang around people who talk about sex a lot, and hang around in the wrong kind of places, you are going to have “sex on the brain” and are going to be polluted and unclean spiritually.
We need to guard what comes into our minds.
Better yet, we need to do what Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, what is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.”
5. If you are married, romance your spouse v.15-19
A fire will only get hotter if you feed it. The same is true in a marriage relationship. A marriage needs feeding.
Marriage is the one place alone wherein one has the sanction by God to express themselves sexually.
Sex is God’s invention. While sex does and procreation go hand in hand, a big part of it has to do with plain old fun and intimacy.
If you are married, keep the flame of romance alive. Also, don’t go about blaming your other half if your marriage and the sex is not going according to your plans. It takes two to tango.
Some verses
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. I Corinthians 7:1-7.
CONCLUSION
The quickest way to blow your health, wealth, and reputation is to commit adultery.
Are you married? Stay faithful. Guard what is coming into your mind. Build your relationship with your spouse. Don’t make close friendships with members of the opposite sex.
Are you single and looking to get married? Stay away the marrieds and guard your treasure! (This comes from the movie “Win a date with Tad Hamilton. Explain) Keep yourself sexually pure and remember that you are not your own- you were bought by Jesus at a price.
Are you cheating? Are you with another man’s wife or another woman’s husband? Confess and repent of it. Get the help you need
Are you thinking about cheating or heading down that path? Confess and repent of it. Turn back before it’s too late.
Are you in a relationship that you know you shouldn’t be in? i.e. Dating a non Christian, having sex outside of marriage, with someone who is married, or involved in the homosexual community? If so, you need to tell God you are sorry and do a 180.
