“How To Rub People the Right Way”
-Develop Winning Attitudes
Acts 4:36-37
There are some people everyone enjoys being around. They are people who give encouragement. To learn how to become an encourager we can look at the life of an early church leader that from the beginning of his ministry to the end was an encourager. His given name was Joseph. Maybe his parents called him Joe. After Joseph became a Christ follower the other disciples gave his a new name, “Barnabas – son of encouragement.”
From the life and ministry of Barnabas we learn how to rub people the right way.
We can be an encourager by seeking ways to encourage others.
First,
I. Determine to be an encourager (Acts 4:36-37)
Barnabas greatly encouraged the early church with his generous financial gift. Joseph/Barnabas was a Levite from Cyprus. Levites usually lived off the temple system. We’re not sure how Barnabas became a land owner, through an inheritance or some other means. He sold his property and gave all the proceeds to help care for the poor in the church. Barnabas later joined Paul in his tent-making business and provided for his own support rather than take financial support from the temple donations.
Think for a moment of all the people who have given to you at just the right time to encourage you.
During our first year at Asbury Theological Seminary Carollyn and I drove every Sunday 80 miles one way to Louisville, KY to help out in a FM church there. A couple in the church had invited us to come stay with them some Saturday and not have to get up so early for us drive to Louisville.
I remember one week we were out of money and food. We decided that we would give the couple a call and take them up on food and lodging. Saturday afternoon we drove to Louisville and enjoyed a great supper of Southern cooking. Sunday morning following breakfast the couple said they wanted to give us a gift. They handed us a $20.00 bill. That was enough for groceries for a week. After church the piano player handed me a $5.00 bill when she shook my hand. We indeed were blessed and encouraged.
If you want to become an encourager then hang out with encouraging people.
#In a Peanuts comic strip by Charles Schultz, Charlie Brown rests his head in his hands while lerning on the wall, looking miserable. His friend Lucy approaches. “Discouraged again, eh, Charlie Brown?” Charlie Brown does not even answer.
“You know what your trouble is?” Lucy asks. Without waiting for a response, she announces, “The whole trouble with you is that you are you!”
Charles Brown says, “Well, what in the world can I do about that?” “I don’t pretend to be able to give advice,” Lucy replies, “I merely point out the trouble!”
The first step for Charlie Brown might be to find a new friend, one who would give encouraging words.
Years ago I heard Charlie “Tremendous” Jones speak at a Sunday School Convention. He said, “The difference between who you are today and who you will be in five years will be the people you spend time with and the books you read.”
If you are going to be an encourager you must be encouraged yourself.
It’s often the small things in life that makes a difference. John Wooden coached the UCLA Bruins to eleven National Championships in thirteen years. He instructed his players that whenever a basket was made, the player who scored was required to smile, wink, nod, or point to the player who passed the ball to him. When Coach Wooden gave these instructions to one team, one of his new players said, “But Coach, what if he’s not looking?” John Wooden said, “I guarantee he’ll look.” He was right, because everyone is looking for encouragement and affirmation.”
By his sacrificial giving Barnabas encouraged the early church.
Barnabas also looked for the best in other people.
To rub people the right way -
II. Look for the best in others. Acts 9:26-27
Saul who became known as the Apostle Paul was fully committed to destroying the early church. It was under his supervision that Stephen was stoned. Saul was on his way to Damascus to find and arrest other Christ followers. Following the stoning of Stephen many Christians fled to Damascus, a major city that served as the transportation and commercial hub in Palestine and Egypt to the south. Before Paul made it to the city the risen Jesus confronted him and Saul’s life was transformed. He went into Damascus and preached in the Jewish synagogues that Jesus had risen from the dead and was indeed the long awaited Messiah.
When Paul’s life was threatened, other believers lowered him down in a large basket over the wall and he traveled to Jerusalem.
The disciples in Jerusalem would not accept Paul as a true believer. Barnabas is the man of the hour and convinces the other disciples that Paul was okay and could be trusted. The mark of an encourager is one who champions the underdog. Like Barnabas encouragers don’t look to the past but to the future. Barnabas didn’t look at what Paul had done; he looked at what Paul could do.
There are some people who seem to have a compulsion to look for the worst in people. It is often how a person sees others that is a reflection of himself or her self.
If I am a trusting person, I will see others as trustworthy.
If I am a critical person, I will see others as critical.
If I am a caring person, I will see others as
compassionate.
Some people have the habit of rubbing people the wrong way. John Maxwell in his book, “Winning With People,” tells about one time baseball manager, Billy Martin. It’s not uncommon for baseball managers to change jobs, but Martin was fired from his job as Yankees manager five times.
Wherever he went Martin caused problems. He was involved in several bar fights. His fistfights were often reported in the sports section of newspapers. Sports writer Jim Murray said of Martin: “Some people have a chip on their shoulder. Billy has a whole lumberyard.”
The life and ministry of Barnabas teach us how to rub people the right way.’
Barnabas saw great potential in people. On a scale of 1 to 10 he put a (ten) above every person he met.
One of the best clubs you might form or join is a “Compliments Club.” You might call your club the “Barnabas Club.” Look for the best in other people and find different ways to compliment them.
#Years ago Dr. George W. Crane, a psychologist, taught an evening class in Chicago at Northwestern University. Most of his students were older and worked during the day.
After class one evening a young woman who had moved to Chicago from a small town in Wisconsin confided in Dr. Crane that she felt lonely and isolated. She had no friends to turn to.
The next day Dr. Crane announced to his class that they were going to have a special club, a Compliment Club. For the next month they were to pay an honest compliment to three different persons. They could compliment more but they had to compliment a minimum of three people every day for 30 days to qualify for a class grade.
“Then, at the end of the thirty-day experiment, I want you to write a theme or paper on your experiences. Include the changes you have noted in the people around you, as well as your own altered outlook on life.”
Crane’s students discovered that their sincere compliments had a positive impact on the people around them. And the experience made an even greater impact on the students themselves. The girl that felt lonely and isolated blossomed into a real people person. One girl that hated her boss began to compliment him through clenched teeth. Eventually not only did his surliness toward her change, but so did her bitterness toward him. They wound up taking a genuine liking to each other and were married.
Barnabas not only saw potential in Paul he asked him to become part of his ministry team. Barnabas became Paul’s mentor and coach. (Acts 11:22-24) After the stoning of Stephen believers were scattered. One center of spiritual revival was Antioch. The Jerusalem church sent Barnabas to give oversight to new believers in Antioch.
When Barnabas observed the number of people coming to faith, both Jews from the area and Greek speaking Jews from outside the area he decided to travel to Tarsus and recruit Paul to come work with him in Antioch. Saul was back to his home area in Tarsus – the center of tent making industry.
Acts 11:25-26 Barnabas and Paul worked for a year in Antioch. Disciples were first called “Christians” in the church at Antioch.
Let’s determine to rub people the right way, 1. Be determined to be an encourager. 2. Look for the best in other people.
III. Look at Life from the Perspective of Others.
Acts 15:36-40
Barnabas believed in giving people a second chance. Barnabas had the gifts of grace and mercy. He wanted to do all he could to help out his cousin, John Mark (Colossians 4:10) Paul believed John Mark has wimped out on them when the going got tough. He was opposed to having John Mark rejoin their missionary team.
Barnabas saw something in Mark that Paul didn’t see. Barnabas believed in giving John Mark a second chance. Later we know that John Mark became an assistant to the Apostle Peter and recorded Peter’s view of the life of Christ in the Gospel of Mark. Later in life Paul also saw the value of John Mark. In his letter to Timothy he says, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” (2 Timothy 2:11)
Christian workers may not always see eye to eye and agree on strategies and personnel. But that shouldn’t keep them from continuing to go forward in serving the Lord. In the case of Barnabas and Paul instead of one team there are now two teams going out in missionary work.
Barnabas felt so strongly about young John Mark that he was willing to leave Paul and overlook Mark’s youthful mistake and give him another chance.
Aren’t you glad you have a Savior who never gives up on you? Regardless of the times you fail, Jesus is there willing to give you another chance.
We all need a Barnabas in our lives to love us and encourage us for who we are and not for what we do.
#In the Peanuts comic strip Lucy was always around to remind Charlie Brown of his many mistakes. In one comic strip Lucy put her hands on her hips after Charlie Brown had made another mistake, and said, “Charlie Brown, you are a foul ball in the line drive of life! You’re in the shadow of your own goal post! You are a miscue! You are three putts on the 17th green! You are a 7-10 split in the 10th frame! You are a dropped rod and reel in the lake of life. You are a missed free throw, a shanked nine iron, and a called third strike. Do you understand? Have I made myself clear?”
John Mark needed someone to believe in him. We all need people to come along side us and believe in us. If anything the local church, the Body of Christ should provide that kind of atmosphere.
If you want to rub people the right way be interested in others, believe in their potential and try to see things from their perspective.
Determine to be an encourager
Look for the best in others
Look at life from the perspective of
others
