Text: Philippians 1:3-8 (NASB)
Introduction: Tonight we will be examining a brief portion of scripture from the book of Philippians. This book was the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Christians that were living at Philippi. When Paul wrote this book, as he was inspired by the Holy Ghost, he was actually writing from prison. Paul was in prison because his teachings about Jesus Christ conflicted with the popular teachings of the day. The Apostle Paul was put in jail for creating a public disturbance.
The introductory information relevant to today’s passage comes from the book of Acts, chapter 16, where Dr. Luke records Paul’s first trip to Philippi and the people Paul introduced to a living relationship with Jesus Christ. These people became the first members of the diverse congregation at Philippi Community Christian Church.
The membership at Philippi Community Christian Church included the wealthy Asian female merchant, Lydia, and her household, a Greek slave girl, and the Roman jailer and his family. Not only was the membership diverse in ethnicity, but they were diverse in socioeconomic status.
To these diverse believers Paul wrote this joy-filled letter. I want to show you what I have discovered from the letter to the Philippians that made possible for joyful relating despite differences that would otherwise become barriers or causes for relational conflicts.
From the outside, people may think that we, Intercultural Assembly of God Church, are a homogenous church. However, anyone who has been with us for any amount of time knows that diversities have at times become barriers and causes for relational conflicts.
We have generation differences, philosophical differences, and cultural differences. We have professional and educational differences, and socioeconomic differences.
We also are different in what we consider fun and what we consider important. We differ in our preference for music and preference for worship style. I imagine that some of you would think that I had not done my homework unless I referred to Calvin at some point in my preaching, while others of you would wondered why I would mention Calvin and not Hobbes in the same sentence. That is the kind of diversity we have here in this church.
Philippians 1:3-8 (NASB) 3I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, 5in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. 6For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 7For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me. 8For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.
If I did not understand the Apostle Paul, I might think he was trying to butter up the Philippians, that is to say something nice in order to get what he wants. However, I do understand the Apostle Paul, and he is not one who uses flattery to manipulate. Paul was one who desired to please God and not people. Paul was one who spoke the truth, and he had to remind himself that truth-telling needs to have the motive of love rather than the motive of demonstrating superiority.
The Apostle Paul demonstrates in these six verses, four very simple, yet important ingredients to experiencing joy in any relationship. Let us look at them in the order they show up.
I. The Practice of Affirming
A. Philippians 1:3-5 (NASB) 3I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, 5in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now.
B. Paul tells the Philippians that he values them and they bring him joy.
1. Paul counts them as partners in the important work of spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.
2. When Paul said that the Philippians were partners in the gospel, he was pointing out their valuable contribution in spreading God’s message.
3. They contributed through their practical help when Paul was in Philippi and through their financial support when he was in prison.
C. If we want to experience joy in our relationships then we must begin by affirming the people that we are relating with.
D. You cannot enjoy those you criticize.
1. This is not to say that you overlook sin, or you do not correct those who are going to hurt themselves or others.
2. Nevertheless, there is enough good in the worse of us to affirm.
3. You can only enjoy those you affirm.
4. Affirmation lubricates relationships.
E. Affirmation often takes the form of verbally praising what another does or is worth.
1. However, affirmation can take other forms also.
2. When you take time to play with your child, you are affirming her that she is important.
3. When you are patient in teaching someone a new skill, you are affirming him that he has the potential to learn the skill.
4. Husbands, when we fulfill our vow of fidelity and unconditional love to our wives, we are affirming our integrity and the value of our wives.
F. Most of us know how to affirm people, especially people who are like us or people from whom we want something.
G. Unfortunately, we often do not affirm those who are different from us or who oppose us, because to do so we suggest they are right and we are wrong.
1. Even worse, we sometimes do not affirm those who are closest to us, because we take them for granted.
H. The good news is that we can intentionally affirm anyone and everyone.
1. I have seen fathers who affirm their children but are careless with their wives.
2. I have seen the reverse also.
3. I have seen church people who affirm one another at church and are careless with their family members at home.
4. In addition, sometimes I have seen that in me.
5. I have also seen people who affirm those they work with but are careless with words and actions at church meetings.
6. The truth is God gives us enough time, resources and words to affirm our spouse, child and anybody else He brings into our lives.
I. The practice of affirming is the first ingredient to experiencing joy in any relationship.
J. Before I move onto the second ingredient, let me give a homework assignment: Tonight, before you go to bed, pray with (that means out loud and maybe holding hands) your spouse, your parents or your child, and include in your prayer for what you are thankful to God regarding your spouse or your child or your parent.
1. You will be amazed how affirming that is to them.
2. I imagine this is very difficult for some of you, so if you cannot do this with them, at least do this without them in silent prayer tonight.
3. I realize that some of you live alone and this would be impossible.
II. The correct placement of confidence
A. Philippians 1:6 (NASB) 6For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
B. Paul is confident that the Philippians will remain faithful to God and that they will continue the ministry God began through Paul even while Paul is absence in jail.
C. However, Paul’s confidence is not in the Philippians or in himself, but in the God who began the work.
D. Where or in whom we place our confidence determines how much joy we can have in our relationships, whether in church or in the family.
1. What often ruins relationships is the inappropriate placement of confidence.
2. Let me give you an example in the church.
3. If you are placing your confidence in your pastor to grow this church, to meet your needs, or to be caring all the time, you are going to be disappointed and even resentful.
4. I am not neglecting my responsibilities as a pastor.
5. I am just not that capable.
6. If I place my confidence in you to be there when I need you, to change when I teach you a life-changing truth, or to serve one another without complaining, I would be so discouraged I would not last very long.
7. I am not a pessimist, but I have an accurate and biblical assessment of humanity.
8. Likewise, if we place confidence in ourselves we will eventually be disappointed or we will manipulate others to achieve our own goals.
9. Not placing our confidence in each other or in ourselves is not to say we don’t count on each other or try to follow through with our commitments whether in our responsibilities at home, at school, at church or at work.
10. Not placing our confidence on each other or oneself is a realistic evaluation of our fallen nature.
11. We are not perfect, only God is.
12. There is only one God, and I am not Him, and neither are you.
13. That means we are going to forget our spouse’s birthday or our wedding anniversary; that means our children will sometimes not act their age; that means as much as we want to be promise keepers, we will sometimes be promise breakers.
14. In addition, if we expect each other to be perfect, then we will experience great disappointment rather than great joy in our relationships.
E. The correct placement of our confidence in God frees us to enjoy each other and rejoice in our periodic successes.
F. The God who began a good work in us continues it throughout our lifetime and will finish it when we meet him face to face.
1. God’s work for us began when Christ died on the cross in our place.
2. His work in us began when we first believed.
3. Now the Holy Spirit lives in us, enabling us to be more like Christ every day.
G. Do you sometimes feel as though you are not making progress in your spiritual life?
1. When God starts a project, he completes it!
2. As with the Philippians, God will help you grow in grace until he has completed his work in your life.
3. When you are discouraged, remember that God will not give up on you.
4. He promises to finish the work he has begun.
5. When you feel incomplete, unfinished, or distressed by your shortcomings, remember God’s promise and provision.
6. Do not let your present condition rob you of the joy of knowing Christ or keep you from growing closer to him.
H. The second ingredient to experiencing joy in our relationship is the correct placement of confidence -- in God.
III. The presence of community
A. Philippians 1:7 (NASB) 7For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me.
B. When you have people in your heart, it matters not whether they are in your presence.
1. Paul was reliving the joyful relationship shared with the Philippians in his heart even though he was many miles away in a prison cell.
C. The presence of true community exists in the heart.
D. If the relationships you have exist only in the presence of formal gatherings, you have a crowd, not a community.
E. The presence of community starts in the heart, whether or not the relationship is revealed in a gathering.
1. Scheduled programs and decorated facilities bring organization and appeal to the senses, but they can never produce joy in relationships; only the presence of community in the heart will.
F. The presence of community is a by-product of sharing our lives together with one another in positive experiences.
1. The practice of affirming one another and the placement of confidence in God instead of others or ourselves make the sharing of our lives together much more enjoyable.
2. From this enjoyment, the presence of community develops.
G. The Philippians shared with Paul the grace of God.
1. Both placed their confidence in God’s goodness.
2. From this enjoyment, the presence of community grew.
H. Take time to share your life with your family, in your work place and in this church.
1. Otherwise, you live as one among crowds and not one in the presence of community.
I. For a starter, take five seconds to look around this congregation and make a mental note of who is not here.
1. Then go home and call or drop the person a note to let him or her know you noticed their absence.
2. Alternatively, go out to lunch with a different family or individual one Sunday out of the month and spend time getting to know them.
3. This would be a small, but a good beginning to share your life with others in the presence of community.
4. Some of you already do this on a regular basis, and you can testify to the joy that this brings you and those you spend time with.
IV. The principle of reciprocity
A. Philippians 1:8 (NASB) 8For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.
B. Reciprocity is the doing to others what has been done to you.
C. Paul is saying, the same way Jesus loves me, I love you.
1. This is more than Paul loving all the Philippians as Jesus loved all the Philippians; this is Paul loving all the Philippians because Jesus loved Paul.
2. In other words, Paul was being honest in how he could love everybody in the Philippian church.
D. If you say that loving people is easy, you have not tried to love everybody.
1. Moreover, in the church, the gathering place of sinners who know they are sinners, very few are lovable without some serious effort, including your pastor.
2. So how can I say with all honesty that I love all of you?
3. I love all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
E. 1st John 4:19 (NASB) 19We love, because He first loved us.
1. As Christians, we love everyone because of the great love that God has for us.
F. The statement has been made that says, "We can’t love until we’ve been loved, and we can only love to the degree to which we have been loved."
G. That is the principle of reciprocity regarding love.
H. You do not love someone at this church?
1. Check to see how much God put up with you when He loved you enough to send Christ to the cross on your behalf.
I. You do not love someone at your work?
1. Go back to Calvary, where Christ hung on our behalf.
J. You cannot forgive your family member who hurt you?
1. Look at how much God has forgiven you!
2. The nails did not keep the Son of God on the cross.
3. The nail was in some sense cosmetic.
K. His love for you and me kept the Son of God on the cross.
L. Payment for sin by the Judge Himself was the only solution for the coming together of holy God and sinful people.
M. Love in response to something or someone who deserves love is reward.
N. Love in response to being loved is reciprocity and that is the kind of love that every Christian has to give another because God has loved tremendously.
Conclusion: Joyful human relationships are the method that God has ordained in order for lost humanity to be restored to a right relationship with Him. The way for us to have joy in our human in relationships is to affirm others while correctly placing in our confidence in God that will enable us to have the presence of community in our hearts by reciprocating the love that we have received from Christ to other people. If we will do these things, we will find that our relationships will be more joyful than ever before.
