LOVE INVOLVES VULNERABILITY AND RISK
Matthew 22:23-40
Intro:
1. Read the Redneck Valentines Day Poem
The Redneck Valentine.
Collards is green,
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some’a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we’re in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo’re there fer yore man,
to patch up life’s troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin’.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin’.
Me ’n’ you’s like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it’s romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That’s impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won’t do.
Cause yor’e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT’S A NEW TROLL’N MOTOR!!
Luv, from yor romeo
2. Valentine’s Day is Tuesday and it is time to celebrate and delight in foolish as well as serious ways the very essence of what life is all about and that give us all a deep sense of meaning and value and purpose.
3. Just listen to a very small selection of the titles of songs that have been written on the theme:
• Love Is All We Need - Celine Dion
• Love Can Move Mountains - Celine Dion
• Love Will Always Win - Faith Hill
• Love Will Conquer All - Lionel Richie
• Love Will Find a Way - Christina Aguilera
• Love Divine, All Love’s Excelling – Charles Wesley
• O Perfect Love – Dorothy Gurney
4. And we could go on for days listing titles of secular and religious songs as well as poems that have been written throughout the ages extolling the ecstasy, the wonder and bliss of love as well as the pain, the heartache, the cynicism, the loneliness of those who have never found it, experienced it, or have lost it.
5. In our Gospel reading from Matthew, Jesus refers to the three essential loves that every person needs to fulfill God’s plan for us and to be fulfilled and complete as human beings:
• Love for God
• Love for Ourselves
• Love for our Neighbor
6. Now all forms of love for us are only possible because God has first of all loved us. 1 John 4:19 states, “We love, because He first loved us.”
• God is the source of all love
• He loved us into existence
• We are the visible expression of His loving and creative action
• He created us in His image so that we would love Him, love ourselves, love one another, and love all that He has made with that same self-giving, eagerness to bless and enhance others kind of love.
• When we love God and know ourselves loved by Him, we are able to appropriately love ourselves and consequently love others
• But of course SIN got in the way and warped and twisted love to the point where we turned it inward on ourselves in an exclusive, selfish, self-centered fashion that ultimately becomes like a black hole sucking into itself and able to give nothing.
• The Love of God demonstrated in Christ’s death on the Cross – where He descended to the very core of the universal “black hole” and destroyed it’s power center and then by His resurrection created the way of escape and victory for all who place their trust in Him – now makes possible for us a return to God’s original plan.
7. Because of the constraints of time and in light of Valentine’s Day and its emphasis on love for others, I want to make that our focus this morning.
8. Now just before we do that, it would be good to remind ourselves that the Greek language in which the New Testament was written has a number of different words that are all translated “love” into English but that refer to very different kinds of love:
• Eros – passionate love, sensual desire and longing for another person, sexual attraction, self-satisfying, reciprocal, give and take between male and female
• Philia – mutual affection, friendship, loyalty to family, friends, and community.
• Philanthropia – love for people, humanitarian spirit
• Storge – marital and familial love, love of husband and wife for each other, love of parents for their children and vice versa.
• Xenia – hospitality – or ritualized friendship formed between a host and guest, who could have previously be strangers. The host fed and provided accommodation for the guest, who’s only expected response was gratitude.
• Agape – self-giving, sacrificial love, gives without expecting or requiring something in return – reminds us of God’s love for us
9. And it is important to note that in order to be a healthy functioning human being we all need to exercise and experience at different times in our lives these various types of love.
• We all need to know and experience the joy of being found attractive, desirable, yes, sexy to a special person of the opposite sex and eventually experience the fulfillment of that love in marriage and the producing of children
• We all need to know the joys of loyal friendships, where we experience deep mutual affection and enjoyment of each other’s company and relationship and where even if time and distance have separated us from one another we are able to pick up where we left off.
• What makes life in our homes, our churches, our communities, and our nation a blessing to us and others is when a genuine spirit of hospitality is manifested by the greater majority of the people and strangers and newcomers quickly feel accepted, welcomed, valued and appreciated.
• We all need to know and experience that love that is given without any strings attached, without any attached price tag, or requirement or expectation of response from us. A love that comes without any fanfare or publicity just out of the goodness of someone else’s heart and their sincere desire to bless.
10. Now all forms of loving require greater or lesser degrees of vulnerability. Anyone who determines to be a lover needs to understand that there is a price tag involved for them. It will cost you in terms of your time, your energy, your resources, your pride, and open you up to possibly being wounded, misunderstood, abused and even rejected.
• It all happened to Jesus who was able to love without the intermingling of sinful attitudes and desires and motives – so we should not be surprised as and when it happens also to us.
11. The first part of our Scripture reading deals with the Sadducees posing the hypothetical question to Jesus of a widow who outlives seven husbands. Now I know some ladies in this congregation have outlived more than one husband – but seven, that sure sounds like survival of the fittest!
• The Sadducees were referring to a law in Deuteronomy 25 known as Levirate marriage which required that the brother of a deceased husband was to raise up children with the widow so that land and other property should remain within the family and there should be an inheritance for them. Remember there was no such thing as Social Security or life insurance or Medicare or Assisted Living to rely in those days and the responsibility was there on those closest to care for the most vulnerable within the community who were widows and orphans.
• And God’s heart has always been particularly attentive to the cries of the vulnerable and it should be the same with us.
12. And so as we celebrate the Love Festival of Valentine’s Day, I want us to ask ourselves who within our more immediate sphere of influence God would consider the most vulnerable and how we might best risk reaching out in love to them.
• There are those within our reach who are widows and widowers because they have lost a loved one to death
• There are those among us who have lost a loved one to divorce
• There are children who are separated from one or the other or both parents for one reason or another
• There are those who still live together under the same roof but have not heard a loving word or received a loving embrace or even a look of affection and tenderness in years – whose hearts have shriveled, dried up, and withdrawn from lack of attention and who no longer even have the moisture for tears.
13. I believe that the first step to making a difference in these lives is for each of us to notice who such persons are that God has brought within our immediate reach
• Who is there within your family?
• Who is there next door or across the street from you?
• Who is there in your Care Circle or bridge or book club or at your table at the Senior Center?
• Who is there that you have had a connection with over the years?
• Who is there that is new to our community and appears to be alone?
14. Recognizing the needs we all have to feel special, appreciated, beautiful, attractive, worth loving – let us ask God to guide us by His Spirit to speak the appropriate and most beneficial and genuine words that will lift a tired and weary soul, and help him or her to start seeing themselves in a new light.
• A woman or man who no longer has a spouse does not suddenly stop having the need to feel appreciated or valued or attractive. So where are they supposed to go to get those psychological needs met?
• While I understand that there are some needs we are just going to have to trust God to meet by His amazing grace, when a broad cross section of caring people within the church are willingly taking the risk to speak and give actions that uplift and boost the spirit and enable that person to feel good about who they are (like a Holy Hug), then we are doing the work of God.
• Stopping by with some home made cookies or a flower or a magazine of interest to them or an invitation to share a meal at your home or at a restaurant or just simply the words “I’d like to just hang out with you for a while” can all convey a precious gift of importance and value on that person. Just take it one small step at a time.
• And when that care and love is being demonstrated by a group of people then not only is the load is easier, but there is also less likelihood for unhealthy attachments to just one individual to develop.
• And don’t quit giving if your overtures of love and affection are not immediately responded to positively with gratitude and warmth – and may even be rejected. Sometimes folks who have had to go without those expressions for some time can have enclosed their emotions with such a hard shield because it was just too painful to daily deal with the loss.
15. Now not only does one have to become vulnerable to give love, there is also a vulnerability required of those who wish or need to receive love.
• It takes courage to risk being wounded or hurt all over again.
• Like the tortoise that longs for some food, water, sunshine, and companionship but is afraid that if it sticks its head outside the shell again some other aggressive animal is going to bite it off – so it stays inside where it is safe – but will also die there if it never takes the risk.
• And that is where others of God’s people lovingly, gently, patiently and protectively encourage and provide sufficient confidence for little risk steps to be taken.
• Remember the kids song we sing that “Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more” and no matter how little you may feel you have to give, as you risk doing so, God rewards your faith and multiplies it.
16. I hope that you realize that none of us is in a position of being totally whole. We’ve all got wounds and battle scars and limps and disabilities and imperfections of one kind or another.
• We have all had good intentions and then fouled things up to one degree or another somewhere along the line.
• Don’t ever let that lack of perfection hinder you from making the effort to show love.
• Don’t wait till you think you have it all together and you’ve perfected your act. For the perfection only comes through the acts of loving and stumbling and being forgiven and getting up and taking another step forward.
• So look around you in just a moment, as we gather in our circle and ask the Father to identify for you at least one person you can bless with a word or action before we leave here today.
AMEN
