THE GOOD FATHER
TEXT- Proverbs 22:6
INTRODUCTION
I told my Wednesday Night class that I have been preaching in Whitehouse for 5 years, and this is the 1st Father’s Day sermon that I have preached. The reason is I always take these 2 weeks in June for my vacation, but not this year.
I hope you will take the time to read the bulletin this morning. I had asked several of our members to write a few sentences about their Father, and I included it in our insert. I found the response very interesting and I’m sure you will to. Some may ask why I didn’t ask everyone to do this, and it was because I was putting a bulletin together and not writing a book. I will ask others to respond in the future to certain questions, so don’t feel left out.
When God created us, He brought a certain structure to mankind, and he did this for our good. God put man into a family, which includes a Father, Mother, and Children. Each one of these is given a role to play in order that the family will function properly. The family is the basic building block of all civilization. If we allow others to destroy the role of family in our society, then I will worry about the future of our civilization. We are born into a family and the Father is the head of the family.
Some may question the Father’s role and ask why? The answer is because God made him the head of the family, and it is his role and his responsibility to lead the family. It is not an easy job!
This thought came to mind this week when Travis and Traci where spending a couple of days with Lynn and I. I am very picky about my computer and Traci is always wanting to play or write on the computer. So, I said, “ alright, but you treat it right and don’t mess up my computer because it is very important to me.” Well, a little later I was walking through the room and I didn’t like the way she was treating my computer, and I said, “Traci if you mess up my computer you and I are going to go 5th city.” She just looked up at me and said, “Pepaw where IS 5th city?”
Mark Twain once said, “When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21. I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.”
Bill Cosby wrote about the difference in being a Father and a Grand Father. He said, “Now that my Father is a Grand father it is amazing how he just wants to give away money to his Grandkids. When I was a kid I would ask him for 50 cents, and he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5;00 every morning when he was 70 years old and walk 23 miles to milk 90 cows. And the farmer didn’t have a bucket, so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and walk 8 miles to the nearest can. All for 5 cents. So , the results was I never got my 50 cents.
Now, when I see my Father say to his grand kids to here and let’s how much money Granddad has for his WONDERFUL grand children, I just wait for him to turn his back and I call my kids over and snatch the money out of their hands BECAUSE THAT’S MY MONEY!
Nearly all dads have one thing in common and that is the way that they talk. How many times have you heard you Father say the following things?
1- This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.
2- Quiet. I’m watching the ball game.
3- Don’t forget to check the oil.
4- Bring back all the change.
5- How should I know? Ask your Mother.
6- I’m not made out of money.
7- When I was your age I walked 5 miles to school every day and it was uphill both ways.
8- You are going and you WILL have fun.
9- Who is paying the bills around here anyway?
10- If you break your leg don’t come running to me.
11- Don’t put your feet on the furniture. Your Mother will kill you.
12- Get down before you kill yourself. Alright, GO HEAD!
13- Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!
14- Why? Because I said so!
SERMON
When I finished this sermon, I discovered that I was not a perfect Father. I don’t think us humans have every produced the perfect Father. When we consider the characteristics of a good Father, I know I didn’t live up to all of those all the time. There was times, when I probably failed miserably.
The best advise about raising children comes from the Bible-The Word of God. It tells us how to be good Fathers, if, we would read and apply it. Here is 10 Characteristics of a good Father, anf they all come from God’s Word.
1- Love your wife-Ephesians 5:28, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;”
Your children watch how you treat their Mother. They WATCH…and they learning and forming their concept of marriage from YOU. You are creating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children everyday. If they see you show disrespect for your wife…your son will carry that into his marriage.
If you verbally or mentally or physically abuse your wife…your daughter will expect that in her marriage. If you mistreat their mother like she isn’t worth very much… you are degrading the home, the family, and marriage…which they will carry into their future homes, families and marriages.
But, If, They see you show love and respect for their mother…your son will learn how to be a good Father and husband. If you honor your wife…your daughter will never accept a man who dishonors her. If, you cherish their mother as a valuable part of not only your life, but their life…they will carry that model with them for the rest of their lives.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER….LOVE YOUR WIFE.
2- DON’T EXPECT PERFECT CHILDREN—Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”
Don’t expect them to meet all of your expectations…to fulfill all of your goals for them. To many Fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. They want their sons to be the football star that they never were. They want their daughters to marry into money and success that they never achieved.
Every child is different..they are not clones of you. It’s natural for a child to make mistakes…spill their milk…acccidently break things…do poorly on a test…get angry…
They’re not perfect like we are not perfect, so we need accept them for who they are….whether they are clumsy or athletic…scatterbrained or brainy…shy or a motor-mouth…goofy or sophisticated…
Instead of constantly criticizing their imperfections acknowledge their imperfections…and love them. They are not perfect…they never will be perfect…don’t expect them to be perfect.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FAHTER-DON’T EXPECT PERFECT CHILDREN
3- ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN- Psalms 127:3, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
Children are given to us to enjoy…not to be a burden…not to avoid…not to ignore…BUT to enjoy. In order to enjoy them you have to be with them…have fun with them…share your life with them.
Now, we have all heard people say, “ The quality of time is more important than the quantity of time.” I believe I have used that line before, but I really believe that it is wrong. The Quantity of time that we spend with our children tells us how important they are to us… whether they are just an afterthought…or an inconvenience…or a disruption to our BUSY schedule. We should not give our children the leftovers.
We should enjoy being a Father and make sure they enjoy you being their Father. We should want for our children to remember that their Father was FUN to be around.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER-ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN
4- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
Give them our undivided attention..not with one eye on the TV and the other eye on them. When they have a problem…when they are worried..when they are sad…when they are lonely…they don’t need a cartoon, or a video game, or a best friend..they need their Father.
Get involved with your children, and know what is going on in their lives. Listen to them…even when they are not talking because they are speaking volumes. If they come to you with their small problems, then they will come to you with their big problems.
Proverbs 1:5-“A wise man will hear and increase in learning.”
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
5- PROVIDE FOR YOU CHILDREN
1 Timothy 5:8, “but if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Even the lost take care of their own family..but..you can’t be a good Father and not take care of your children,
I don’t mean they should get everything they want..most say that this is one of the worst things you can do. One very smart man once wrote, “ We are living in a generation when we rob our children of WANTING-WORKING-and WAITING for material things.” I guess I never thought of it quiet like that, but I think he is right. He went on to say, “ We have spoiled our children by giving them INSTANT SATISFACTION.
Too many Fathers think they can BUY OFF their children with things…and thus relieve their conscience for not being the kind of Father they ought to be.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER- PROVIDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN
6- TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN
Ephesians 6:4, “And Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
We must teach and train our children to respect authority in the home…or they will not respect authority at school or in the world. We to teach them that there are boundries..rules and regulations..a line that they will NOT cross. They will test us, but if we move the boundries farther and farther out, eventually we will move them away from God’s Standard. If, we keep enlarging the boundaries they could end up the authority and we will find ourselves in submission.
Train our children to respect authority. Earn their respect..be consistent…discipline them with love..or they will never respect the authority of God in their life.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER—TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN
7-PRAY FOR YOURSELF
1 Chronicles 15:11, “Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his face continually.’
We don’t have all the answers to our questions..we can’t solve all of their problems. We don’t have all the wisdom, love and patience that we need to be a good Father. Without God’s help, we can never be the Father that God wants us to be. We need help! We can’t do it by ourself.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER- PRAY FOR YOURSELF.
8- PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN
Psalms 55:17, “Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice.”
You can’t be with your children all the time, but God can. You can’t protect them every place they go..God can. You can teach them right from wrong, but you might not be there when they are put to the test….but God can.
Pray for your children! Lift them up to God to do for them the things that you can’t. We all know that as parents that we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. We must ask for God’s help in making our children into a person that will be acceptable to Him.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER-PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN
9- BE A POSTIVE ROLE MODEL
Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
We are role models for our children..whether we like it or not. I know there some times that I did not live up to that, and would imagine that you feel the same way. They will in one way or another pattern their lives after ours. Whether we realize it or not, we all have inherited characteristics from our Fathers…good or bad… and our children are inheriting our some of our characteristics.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER—BE A POSTIVE ROLE MODEL
10- PREPARE YOUR CHILDREN
Proverbs 23:24, “the Father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”
You are preparing your children to leave home. They will take what they have learned from you and begin applying in the REAL world. They say, you have approximately 18 years to get them ready.
Preparing them for life away from you is only part of the picture. If you have not spent your time preparing them for eternity, you have failed as a Father. There is other way to say that. God did not give you children just to make a Doctor, teacher or plumber, but to prepare them for eternity.
You can’t choose the path they will take…but you can show them the way to heaven. They will have to choose for themselves the path they will take, but you can have a Godly influence on their choice.
We will take great pains to teach them about their physical needs, their emotional needs, their social needs, their economic needs, then why would we not spend a great deal of time to teach them about their Spiritual needs and their eternal destiny.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER- PREPARE YOUR CHILDREN FOR ETERNITY.
CONCLUSION
It’s not easy being a good Father and many times we will make mistakes, and all we can do after the fact is pray forgiveness and ask God for wisdom and strength to do better. We have do what they old song says, “Get up and shake your self off and get back into the game.”
No, it’s not easy to be a good father, but it’s not impossible either. It takes hard work, hard praying, and making hard decisions. You can’t do it alone. God doesn’t expect you to. God doesn’t want you to do it alone. Don’t leave Him out of your adventure in Fatherhood.
Think about these tips from God’s word and apply them:
1- LOVE YOUR WIFE
2- DON’T EXPECT PERFECT CHILDREN
3- ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN
4- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
5- PROVIDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN
6- TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN
7- PRAY FOR YOURSELF
8- PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN
9- BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL
10- PREPARE YOUR CHILDEN
If, we follow these tips maybe we will receive a letter like the one this Father received from his son, and is titled, “A Letter To Dad”
There are so many things I’d like to tell you face to face
I either like the words or fail to find the time or place.
But in this special letter, Dad, you will find at least in part
The feelings that the passing years have left within my heart.
The memories of childhood days and all that you have done
To make our home a happy place and growing up such fun.
I still recall the walks we took, the games we often played;
Those confidential chats we had while resting in shade.
This letter comes to thank you, and , for needed words of praise;
The counsel and the guidance, too, that shaped my grown up days.
No words of mine can tell you, Dad, the things I really feel;
But you must know my love for you is lasting, warm, and real.
You made my world a better place, and through the coming years;
I’ll keep these memories of you as cherished souvenirs….
INVITATION
