UNLIMITED INTERPERSONAL FORGIVENESS
Matthew 18:21-32
INTRODUCTION
ILLUSTRATION SOURCE: Philip Yancey in What’s So Amazing About Grace
Butt-prints in the Sand,
One night, I had a wondrous dream;
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
"Those prints are large and round and neat,
But, Lord, they are too big for feet."
"My child," He said in sombre tones.
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.
You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk-of-faith you would not know.
So I got tired and fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt,
Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."
One of the areas in our Christian life that we must learn is that of forgiving others. Much of the problems in relationship can be resolved if we only practice the virtue of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that God gave His children to use when needed. We should be humble enough to grant unlimited interpersonal forgiveness. Let us find out why as we read Matthew 18:21-32.
EXPOSITION
Matthew 18:15-20 talks about the process of dealing with the person who sinned against another. Jesus emphasized the need to be reconciled with an offender and win the person back into the relationship. The disciples, knowing the demands of the process, would like to know how many times they should forgive one another.
It was the practice of the Jews that a brother might be forgiven a repeated sin three times but on the fourth, there is no forgiveness. Therefore Peter thought that his suggestion is already gracious enough. Jesus however emphasized that they should not set a limit on the frequency of forgiving one another. Instead interpersonal forgiveness should be unlimited. The idea of seventy times seven implies unlimited and wholehearted forgiveness. (vv. 22, 35)
Why should we grant unlimited interpersonal forgiveness?
1. God wants to release us from the curse of sin. (vv. 22, 33)
Our sinfulness affected not only our relationship with God but with men as well. God forgave us so we can be restored in our relationship with Him. In addition, he wanted us to practice forgiveness to one another. The forgiveness we received and experienced should be shared with those who wronged us. As humans, we commit relational sins and forgiving spirit is one of the means by which reconciliation will happen. Sin destroys relationship and forgiveness restores them. See Matthew 6:12.
ILLUSTRATION One of the simple but great inventions of man is the eraser. It acknowledges the fact that no one is perfect. It also reminds us that there is hope and new possibility for those who mess up their lives and relationships with others. Forgiveness enables us to experience freedom, peace, and inner joy.
Warren Wiersbe said that “The world’s worst prison is the prison of an unforgiving heart. If we refuse to forgive others, then we are only imprisoning ourselves and causing our own torment. Some of the most miserable people I have met in my ministry have been people who would not forgive others. They lived only to imagine ways to punish these people who had wronged them. But they were really only punishing themselves.”
Unforgiving spirit results to other sins – anger, critical spirit, bitterness, and indifference, not to mention the various illnesses associated with unforgiveness. See Ephesians 4:30-32. We reveal the true condition of our hearts by the way we treat others. The context of this paragraph is forgiveness between brothers in Christ but we know that the principles apply to other relationships.
Whom do you need to forgive today? Perhaps you need to forgive your fellow church member, your parents, your siblings, your co-workers, your spouse, and your relatives. Release yourself from the prison of unforgiving heart and from the curse of sin. How do we forgive?
a. Understand the meaning of forgiveness – to cover, to erase, and to send away the sins of the offender. Therefore when we forgive we are actually giving the persons a clean sheet of paper – we release the person from the penalty of sin.
ILLUSTRATION Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me. —Archibald Hart
b. Understand that forgiveness is not toleration but preservation – we forgive because we would like to recognize the person’s admission of guilt and the desire to change. We forgive because we would like to encourage the person to start a new but right way of living and relating with us thereby resulting to preservation of the relationship.
c. Understand that forgiveness is not forgetting but healing – we forgive so that healing will begin to happen. Healing is a process that requires patience on the part of the offender. When it is completed, it may leave some marks but the pains are gone.
ILLUSTRATION In his book Caring Enough To Forgive / Caring Enough To Not Forgive, David Augsburger suggests that forgiveness is a “journey of many steps” taken carefully and thoughtfully, the steps including:
1. To see the other as having worth again, regardless of wrongdoing;
2. To see the other as equally precious again, in spite of the pain felt;
3. To cancel demands on the past, recognizing that changing the unchangeable is impossible;
4. To work through the anger and pain felt by both in reciprocal trusting and risking until genuineness in intention is perceived and repentance is seen by both to be authentic;
5. To drop the demands for an ironclad guarantee of future behavior;
6. To touch each other deeply, to feel moved by warmth, love, compassion, to celebrate it in mutual recognition that right relationships have been achieved.
d. Pray, Talk, and Forgive – if the person is unrepentant, follow the example of our Lord and pray, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
2. God forgave us far more than we will ever forgive (vv. 24-25, 28)
The master in our parable was disappointed because of the attitude of the unforgiving servant. He owed the master of thousand talents and unable to pay but the master cancelled the debts and let him go. It was estimated that his debts is about 12 million dollars without considering the inflation today. Compared to what he owed the master, his fellow servants debts are just a drop in a bucket and yet he was unwilling to cancel it and put him into prison.
In like manner, we should grant unlimited interpersonal forgiveness because God forgave us far more that we will ever forgive. God forgave all our individual sins. See Colossians 2:13. God provided forgiveness for our past, present, and future sins against Him and our fellow humans. He only requires us to forgive the actual sins of our brother. God’s forgiveness is far greater than what we need to forgive others. And yet because of hypocrisy and judgmental attitudes, we hesitate to forgive others. This is not right. How can we avoid this mistake?
a. Realize that we are simply channels of God’s forgiveness – forgiveness did not originate from us but God. Share what you have received and don’t hoard God’s forgiveness.
ILLUSTRATION There’s a great ministry in our generation. It’s called Prison Fellowship, directed by Chuck Colson. After his time behind bars, he realized the awful lifestyle that’s facing the criminal who now is out, pardoned, and trying to get his or her life back together. I found these words in one of Colson’s pieces of literature: “Nothing is more Christian than forgiveness … demonstrating trust in one who has fallen.”
b. Remember to be a catalyst of peace and order – realize that as we forgive others we are actually expanding an environment of peace and order in our society.
c. Always be thankful for God’s acts of mercy and grace – being grateful will help us to humble ourselves because we know that we are simply one of the recipients of His forgiveness.
ILLUSTRATION A four-year-old was praying one night, having been listening at church: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
3. God punishes those who refuse to practice unlimited forgiveness. (v. 34)
Unforgiveness is a sin and an act of disobedience to God. Those who deliberately deny others of forgiveness will suffer the consequence of his behavior. God expects us to follow His example. In the case of the wicked servant, he was turned over to the jailer to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed. Jesus sees no conflict in the actions of a heavenly Father who forgives so bountifully and punishes so ruthlessly, and neither should we.
Indeed, it is precisely because he is a God of such compassion and mercy that he cannot possibly accept as his those devoid of compassion and mercy. This is not to say that the king’s compassion can be earned: far from it, the servant is granted freedom only by virtue of the king’s forgiveness. Those who are forgiven must forgive, lest they show themselves incapable of receiving. See Matthew 6:14-15.
CONCLUSION
We have the responsibility to practice and promote unlimited forgiveness. Forgiveness is a not an option but a decision that we must follow. We have nothing to lose if we grant them therefore be gracious in releasing forgiveness to others.
