Love is a word that is bandied about to describe our feelings towards everything. We love our cars. We love our homes. We love our this and we love our that. The problem is that we use it freely to describe “things” and “places” but when talking about other people, we often use negative words. Why do we do that? Because we have negative feelings towards others.
A man was driving down the freeway one morning in rush hour traffic and he noticed the car in front of him starting to weave back and forth. Trying to pass it, he got even with it and looked over to see a woman applying make-up with one hand and trying to steer with the other.
He thought, ‘How dare she put others at risk with her carelessness. She should just stick to paying attention!’ About that time, she veered toward his car and he got so shook he dropped his cell phone into his cup of coffee.
It would seem that we are quicker to be negative about others than we are to be positive about them. We are quick to judge others negatively because of the weird music they listen to, but we enjoy our country music that is about cheating and drinking.
We accuse others of being materialists and spending their money on selfish ‘things’, and then take our money and go out to the casino or to the horse track. What a different world this would be if we would look at others and zero in on their positive traits rather than on their negative traits. But, that would mean we would have to love others, wouldn’t it?
Since Valentine’s Day is this week, let’s talk about love, shall we?
1. WHAT IS LOVE?
If we are going to talk about love, we should first understand what love is. I would think that love is when you want the very best for another without any thought as to getting anything in return.
In 1 CORINTHIANS 10:24, it says
‘Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.’
Not only should we always be thinking of others in a positive way, we should always be acting on the behalf of others.
1 PETER 4:8 tells us,
‘Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.’
A couple had a marriage that seemed to get worse with each passing day. The wife finally saw a lawyer and said she wanted a divorce. But she told the lawyer that since her husband had hurt her so many times, she wanted to really put it to him and make him hurt really bad before she divorced him.
The lawyer, a Christian man, told her to go home and start pretending to love him a lot. He told her to do things for him as if she were totally in love with him. He said if she did this for three months, he would let down his guard and then she could spring the divorce on him and he would be devastated. So, the lady took his advice and went home and for three months she did everything she could to convince him that she loved him.
Three months later, she called the attorney. He asked if she still wanted the divorce and she said that she didn’t, because she had fallen madly in love with him all over again.
Love each other deeply, as it covers a multitude of sins. Think about the other person above yourself – without expecting anything back. When we do these things, God also instills that love in our hearts and when something is in our hearts, it is in our words and in our actions.
We are talking about love, but some do not love. Lets’ talk about those who have ….
2. A HEART WITHOUT LOVE
1 TIMOTHY 1:5-7 tells us about people who do not love.
‘The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart, and a good conscience, and a sincere faith. Some have wandered away from these and turned to meaningless talk. They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.’
In 1 JOHN 3:10 we are told who is and who is not a child of God.
‘This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.’
Some consider themselves good Christians, but actually have no room in their hearts for love. They are so wrapped up in what they want or need that they have no room left to think about what somebody else needs or wants. I will tell you right now that is not a sign of Godliness.
These people know all the right words and they know all the right moves, but they don’t know anything about truly caring about other people. They want to be looked up to and to be considered ‘the good men and women of the church’, but in truth, they have let their hearts become cold and hardened.
This same mind set plagued the Pharisees. They knew the rules but they had long forgotten the reason for those rules. Without love, all is for naught.
Love is so vital to our salvation. I know that as we go through life and suffer its dings and craziness, we all tend to get hardened around the edges. I am not saying it is right, but I am saying it happens to all of us to one degree or another.
But I am also saying there should be no higher priority in our lives that opening our hearts up to the true love of God so that we can manifest that same love in our actions towards other people. Why? Because a heart without love is a sure ticket to hell, and none of us want to go there, and none of us want anyone else to go there.
Now, for those who do feel love towards others, we must focus on …
3. GROWING YOUR LOVE
Love is not like mildew; it will not grow if left unused. The more we use it the stronger it grows. I have put a list together of some things you will want to do if you want your love towards others to grow stronger.
Make them a homemade card for no particular reason, expressing how much you value them.
Call someone on the phone and tell them the only reason you called is to let them know how important they are to you.
Write them a letter telling them how glad you are they are in your life.
You may not feel like you would want to do these things, but I assure you that if you do, the love in your heart will start to grow instantly. Especially with those of you who never understood the need to tell others how you feel about them.
1 THESSALONIANS 3:12-13 tells us about growing our love and the importance of doing so.
‘May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May He strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all His holy ones.’
1 THESSALONIANS 4:9-10, reinforces the need to love others.
‘Now about brotherly love, we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you brothers, to do so more and more.’
A man was walking down the street and passed a book store. He glanced in the window as he passed and saw a book entitled, “How to Hug”. Being somewhat of a romantic, he purchased the book. When he got home, he noticed that it was not a book about how to hug, but just one of a set of encyclopedias that ranged from the word ‘how’ in the first volume to the word ‘hug’ in the last volume. He felt cheated because he thought the book would tell him how to hug.
That shows how many people feel in church. They know that church is a place where love is supposed to abound, and they come looking for Godly love from Godly people only to find an encyclopedia on theology.
1 JOHN 3:18 tells us,
‘Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.’
Let me emphasis one thing that is so very important in a church. We get comfortable and forget. We forget what it is like to be new in a church where you do not know anyone. When you see a new face in church, it is not only nice, it is your Godly responsibility to welcome them with a loving smile and friendly handshake.
We know that not everyone who visits us will come back to make this their church home, but we must make sure that every person that visits us sees, hears, and feels the love of God, manifested through us before they leave.
Here is a list of what some school children gave as their definition of love.
My grandmother has arthritis and can’t bend over to paint her toenails, so even when my grandpa has arthritis in his hands, he paints them for her.
Love is when someone hurts you, but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.
Would the Victory Singers please come back on stage?
We brand cattle so we know who they belong to. We put our names on our belongings so we can identify them later. In olden times, before they had keys and locks, they would cut out a sliver of wood from their door post and hide it. If there were later a question of ownership, they could match that sliver to where it was cut out of, and prove they were the owner. We do all kinds of things so we can prove ownership, too.
There is also a mark that Jesus puts on us so we can be identified as belonging to Him.
JOHN 13:34-35 tells us what that mark is.
‘A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, all men will know that you are My disciples – if you love one another.’
I have been talking about love tonight. Let me close with just one more story.
If you have ever been around a neonatal unit in a hospital, you will notice what they tell the parents and other relatives of these tiny babies who are preemies and are hooked up with every kind of tube possible.
They tell these people to visit daily and regularly. They tell the families to touch the babies’ arms and abdomens and legs with their fingertips. The families are also told to softly and gently say, “I love you” to those babies who are fighting for their lives. Why are they told to say that?
It is virtually impossible to voice the words ‘I love you’ to a helpless baby without feeling those words taking hold in your heart. And the more you have the love in your heart for them, the more the baby will feel that in your touch.
By touching and talking to those babies, you are actually giving them the will to live … all because you are letting them know they are loved. No matter how old a person gets, they still have that baby inside them; they still have the need to hear they are loved.
How long has it been since you told your loved ones that you really love them? When is the last time you actually said ‘I love You’ out loud to God? If things in your life are not where you would want them to be today, I urge you to tell God you love Him.
INVITATION