(Slide 1)30 years ago this month, I had my first car wreck. With my mom’s car. It was the first Friday of January 1976 after Christmas vacation and I was coming home from basketball practice (I was manager of the team) even through school was cancelled because of the weather.
I was not going too fast (honest) on the state highway in front of the housing plat that I lived in when I hit my brakes to slow down to make a turn and ended up panicking because I locked my wheels up on a downhill slope in the road. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind and the presence of God to avoid hitting the car in front me, which happened to be my neighbor in his beautiful jacked-up 1967 Chevelle.
I ended up in the ditch and took out a speed limit sign with my mom’s car and stopped in a huge snowdrift in front of the Ford dealer. Well, I called for a sheriff or OHP and soon was sitting in the passenger seat of the sheriff’s car while he filled out his report.
While sitting there (and he had tried to console me by telling me that I was only one of 12 accidents that day) I somewhere in my thinking knew that I would have to get home. How was that going to happen? Who would I call? What would I say to my parents about what I had done? How would I say it? What kind of a spin would I put on it? But, my dad would take care of that issue for me by showing up at the scene.
I was sitting in the sheriff’s cruiser when I looked out my window and saw my dad standing there. He and mom had been at the grocery store next to the car dealer where I had ended up. And as they left the parking lot, mom spotted the car in the ditch and then me in the cruiser.
It was a long ride home. Probably it was all of 5 to 7 minutes and a mile and a half in distance. But it was a long ride home. The only thing that dad said to me was ‘You were probably going faster that what you said you were.’
There was no way that I could hide what I had done. My parents would have found out sooner or later. Telling the truth was the right thing to do as hard as it was.
As I wrote this part of the sermon, I thought to myself, ‘Did I ever apologize to mom and dad, but especially mom for totaling her car?’ So I called her to ask her.
She said, ‘I don’t remember if you did or not, I think that you did, and we knew that you were sorry for what had happened.’ But, I went ahead and apologized for the accident anyway.
One of the most difficult things to do in life is to apologize for something that you said or did that was wrong. One of the big reasons for doing so is fear. There is a fear of retribution. There is a fear of rejection. There is a fear of legal consequences in some situations. There is a fear of embarrassment. (Slide 2)
But confession is a vital step toward God’s way of living as Step 5 points out: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Why is confession important? Why is it necessary? Why should I tell another person about my failures and defects?
Here are three very good reasons (Slide 3): First and most important, the Bible says to do this. We read in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” in Galatians 6:2 we are challenged to, “Carry each other’s burdens…” and in James 5:16 we read, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other…”
The New Testament has a great deal to say to us about the importance of supporting one another and helping one another to become and stay spiritually honest and open with the Lord, one another, and ourselves. And, while each of us has to make the personal choice to accept Christ and live that commitment out to the best of our ability with the Holy Spirit’s help or not, I cannot recall any place in the Bible where we are left alone to live out our faith. Much of Paul’s writing in the middle of the New Testament includes advice and direction on living in the community of faith.
Confession, appropriate confession, is a key ingredient in the growth of not just our own personal faith, but that of our corporate faith as well. I remember watching a TV show on the Navy’s Blue Angels a few years ago. (Slide 4) The cameras followed them to the debriefing room as they talked about their recent performance. Almost to a man, they began their assessment, ‘I am happy to be here today’ and something about the privilege of flying for the group.
It struck me as a form of confession. Confession has its benefits, (Slide 5) especially when you fly at 350 or so miles an hour and are close to one another. Here were these talented pilots, who pushed their aircraft (and themselves) to perform these great maneuvers, low to the ground, (Slide 6) expressing humility at being able to fly. Then they went on to talk about what they did wrong in their performance.
Second (Slide 7) is the wise truth of the longer you hide, the sicker you become. In Proverbs 28:13 we read, “He who conceals his sin does not prosper…” And in verses 3 and 4 of our main text for today we read of the Psalmist’s own pain in not confessing: When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.’
Confession is not only good for the soul but it is also good for the emotions, the body, and relationships! We have to be like Dennis the Menace who is depicted in one of his famous bedtime scenes. He is kneeling beside his bed and is heard to utter, ‘I’m here to turn myself in!’
In the InterVarsity Press publication, “Lifeline,” the benefits of forgiving were highlighted as follows, ‘According to the latest medical and psychological research, forgiving is good for our souls-and our bodies. People who forgive: benefit from better immune functioning and lower blood pressure; have better mental health than people who do not forgive; feel better physically; have lower amounts of anger and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression; maintain more satisfying and long-lasting relationships.’ If forgiveness is such a healthy thing, could not confession be a healthy thing as well?
The third reason (Slide 8) that we need to confess to a trusted other is that we all need wise counsel. In Proverbs 19:20 we read, “Get all the advice and instruction you can, and be wise…” I have blind spots in my way of thinking that need the aid of others to show me where I need to take a second look. Outside of the Lord, Susan is my main advisor, and there are several other adults, lay and clergy, whose counsel I need to hear and process.
Last week I shared with you my personal experiences of doing two fourth step inventories and then sharing them with trusted others. One of the side benefits of doing that housecleaning is that I realized that I needed to have a group of others that I could talk with to and process various issues and situations. I found a group of clergy that I met with regularly and it was really helpful for mel. But it was hard for me, because I have always been somewhat of a loner and being honest with myself, about myself, has not come easily to me. But, the benefits outweigh the risks.
A fourth reason for confession (Slide 9) is for the purpose of healing. If we are not honest with our doctor when we are sick, how can he or she help us get better physically? If we are not honest with God and a trusted confessor about our soul sickness, how can we get better spiritually? The first half of James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other…” The second half of James 5:16 indicates the benefit of such confession,”that you may be healed.” For just as seeing a doctor can help us to get better physically, doing appropriate confession can help us to get better spiritually.
Taking this step can help us end the isolation that guilt and shame creates. It also allows us to become more open and honest with God, ourselves, and one other human being about us. I learned that when I did my inventory and shared it with two men that I trusted.
Another benefit (and it is a benefit although at first it does not seem like it is) is that we have a greater awareness of specific faults, or ‘shortcomings,’ (some call them defects of character) that we now can address more clearly and directly. This is the focus of the sixth step: (Slide 10) We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
We need to pay attention to the wording of this step because it is important to understand this step and the implications of this step. It is a decision point step. All of them really are, but at this point, you have to answer a key question, ‘Are you really ready to change? You have to decide if you are ready and willing (a key word) to change.
Another way of looking at this step is thinking about ‘counting the cost of change.’ In Luke 14 Jesus brings up this issue of counting the cost in verses 28-32: “…who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if there is enough money to pay the bills? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of funds. And then how everyone would laugh at you! They would say, ‘there’s the person who started that building and ran out of money before it was finished!’ “Or what king would ever dream of going to war without first sitting down with his counselors and discussing whether his army of ten thousand is strong enough to defeat the twenty thousand soldiers who are marching against him? If he is not able, then while the enemy is still far away, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace.’
Now, what would cause the man to go ahead and build and the king to go to war…without counting the cost? A major reason is pride or, what some call, ‘arrogance,’ and ‘conceit.’
Another reason could be anger. It could be that this man is angry that his competitor had built a better facility and drawn more business and that angers him. It could be that the rival king was once an ally who has grown stronger and has taken some desirable territory that this king thought was his.
Pride and anger are defects of character. They are the results of the sin in our world and in our humanity. How do these defects of character come about? (Slide 11) There are three sources: First is the gene pool.
Now I have yet to draw a full conclusion about the whole issue of genetics, habits, and behaviors but we all have genes that predispose us to something. And we do not fully understand the full extent of the moral fall of the human race and its impact on our genetic structure.
Yet in the Old Testament is an oft-quoted passage about the impact of people’s choices on future generations. It is Exodus 34:7 ‘I show this unfailing love to many thousands by forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. Even so I do not leave sin unpunished, but I punish the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generations.”
I have pretty much interpreted this passage that our behavior affects our future generations just as the behavior of those before us has affected us in a cause and effect way. But, I think that it is possible (possible) that there could be some genetic issues as well. One painful illustration of this influence is fetal alcohol syndrome. Quoting from the Center for Disease Control website, ‘Children with FAS may have physical disabilities and problems with learning, memory, attention, problem solving, and social/behavioral problems.’ In other words, alcohol consumption creates health risks for unborn children.
A second source of character defects are circumstances. Last week I spoke about the environmental issues that create ‘ruts’ in our lives. When I was in seminary I had to interview three people as a course assignment that dealt with how people make moral decisions.
The story was a story about a parent who steals some drugs because they have a gravely ill child that needs the drug to get better but they cannot afford it. I cannot remember all of the responses but I do remember that the morality of stealing (or not stealing) came into play. Circumstances affect our character and we sometimes we are negatively influenced by circumstances that create a capacity for anger or lust or sadness that make them a defect of character.
The third source is choices. We never loose our ability to choose unless death or a severe disability takes that ability away from us. And in that ability to choose comes the liability with our choices. Character defects become active here.
(Slide 12) As we make the step of taking stock and the step of confession, taking this step of willingness to change requires two very important attitudes.
First we must say to ourselves and to another trusted person, ‘I must be completely honest.’ Second we must say, ‘I must be willing to change.’
I bring us back to the ‘Rich Young Ruler’ in Luke 18. He had done just enough to ‘be good.’ “Good teacher, what should I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “Only God is truly good. But as for your question, you know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery. Do not murder. Do not steal. Do not testify falsely. Honor your father and mother.’” The man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was a child.”
The man was honest to a point about his life. But, he need to make further changes if he wanted to possess the ‘eternal life’ that he inquired about and ‘being good’ was not enough. Deeper changes had to take place from within.
For the man, a change of identity and of letting go had to come about. “There is still one thing you lack,” Jesus said. “Sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” But when the man heard this, he became sad because he was very rich.’
For this man (and I want to make that clear) this man, his wealth exposed a defect of character. Most of us would probably call it greed. It held him back from experiencing the eternal life that Jesus said was his if he would sell all that he had.
What if the man had decided to let go and sell all of his possessions and follow Jesus? It would have been hard and painful. It would had been difficult facing family and friends who think that you are crazy and have gone mad! It would have been a challenge because a whole way of life would need to be discarded and a new way of life embraced.
But think about Peter for a moment and the changes that he made during the three years that he was with Jesus. He had his struggles and moments. He had his defects of character and they came out as he watched Jesus being arrested and tried.
But Jesus loved Peter (just as He loves us!) And He gave Peter another chance to ‘be coming willing’ to give up his defects of character, those chokepoints, those habits that put him in his ruts, and truly let go and let God be first in his life and make the changes that need to be made. And look at the difference, especially later in his life when he would write in 2 Peter 1:5-8:
‘As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature.
(Slide 13) So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Peter would have not been able to write these things if he would have given up and said, ‘This is too hard. I can’t go through with it.’ (Can’t Peter or won’t?)
Following God is hard at times. Letting Him change us is difficult and demanding. But maybe this statement from Rick Warren (Slide 14) will give us some helpful perspective. ‘God gave you a new life and a new nature when you accepted Christ. Now, for the rest of your life on earth, God wants to continue the process of changing your character.’
Now this may not give us comfort. It does me because it helps to realize that my relationship with the Lord is a lifetime process and not a 100-meter dash. So, my expectations are now based on the belief that I will always be changing as God works with me until the day I die or He returns.
It used to depress me just admitting to my defects and at first glance the future looked bleak. But that was then, this is now!
The focus in these steps to God’s way of living is now beginning to shift from the past, to the present, and with the last three steps, to the future.
The first two deal with our present state. But, they are rooted in the past because our present state is based on our past. The ruts we find ourselves in did not appear over night. They are the result of circumstances, factors, and choices that have taken place over a period of time. The next two steps help us to reflect on our past and deal with those issues that have created our ruts. These two steps help us to bring our past into the light of God’s grace and power and to clearly see what trips us up and hinders us from experiencing the life that God has for us.
We are halfway through our series and through the steps. Maybe you have made the decision to take these steps as you have heard about them and begin to do the hard, yet important and rewarding work, of cleaning house and truly getting right with God and with others.
Maybe you have decided that you want this year, still in its first month of existence, to take these steps and really begin to live God’s way. I believe that God wants to help you take the next six steps into a life of greater peace and purpose.
But, it requires a surrender, a letting go, and a willingness to let God begin to truly change us. Are you willing? Are you ready to change?
At a time (Slide 15) like this I am reminded of Romans 8:28, ‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.’ It is a reminder that when I am willing to change as God wants me to change and in the ways that God wants me to change, God will make it so even though it may take awhile for some change to occur. God is able to take the good, the bad, and the ugly in our lives and bring us to a greater life in Him.
In the ‘Big Book of AA’ are these words that some of my 12 Step friends have told me gave them hope and help when they had to face a new obstacle and there was no shortcut around it. I think that we can understand it as a paraphrase of Romans 8:28:
‘If we are painstaking about this phase of development we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness… We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear… Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us… We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.’
Jesus did come to give ‘us life more abundant.’ The question we need to ask ourselves is, ‘Do I want it? And am I willing to let God change me to possess it?’ Amen.
Sources:
InterVarsity Press, quoted in Lifeline, Summer, 1997 and from Sermon Central.com weekly newsletter, January 16, 2006.
Warren quote is from The Purpose Driven Life.
Big Book quote is taken from the on-line version of the Big Book at www.aa.org. Chapter 6 pages 83 and 84.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome quote is taken from www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fas/
