RELIGION THAT REALLY WORKS - Week 4
CONTROL YOUR CRAVINGS
JAMES 4:1-8
INTRODUCTION:
Several summers ago the Cleveland Plain Dealer ran an article entitled "The Gold Circled Ring." It told about some Kent State University students that were arrested because of their involvement in a conspiracy to steal from their employers. The students stole over $150,000 worth of goods. They took everything from VCR’s and clothing to small items such as Pepto Bismo and Aspirin. Some of the goods were given as gifts to their friends but most were kept for themselves. One girl had 32 pairs of shoes closeted away in her room. Now, these were not some of the campus hoodlums but these were some of the brighter students and to add a touch of irony, many of them were criminal justice majors. It was especially disturbing to read the student’s comments when they were interviewed in the article. There seemed to be little or no remorse. Nobody said we were wrong. But some did comment they regretted that some of their group got careless and got caught. Most expressed anger that certain members of the group couldn’t control themselves. One student said, "You know, certain individuals just seemed to get so caught up in it all that they didn’t know where to stop."
That story is indicative of the cravings that we all have. Maybe you do not have a desire to steal but all of us have yearnings that we struggle to control. James 4:1 asks, "What starts wars and fights among you?" Is it not because you crave many things and are fighting to have them?" Now, if your like me, in my more honest moments I have to admit that I am a part of a society that wants a lot of things. America is a desire driven culture. Some of you have been pushed all your lives to succeed. You are goal oriented, highly motivated, type “A” personalities. You were taught to want and then go get it. But even if that doesn’t describe your temperament or upbringing, all of us are living in a very success oriented culture that drives us to fulfill our desires no matter the cost. And many people have been so consumed by their cravings that they have sacrificed their integrity, their family, even their health. When our cravings and ambitions are out of control it can cause havoc in nations, families, business’, even in the church. Last week we discussed bridling our tongue, today we want to talk about bridling our desires, keeping them under control.
Once again we find that God, through James, offers us some very practical and needed advice. And no matter where you are in your spiritual journey we can all use this installment of religion that really works. PRAY
I. CONFESS YOUR CRAVINGS:
{Video Clip - LOTR - Two Towers (Ext.ed) Start: Chp. 28:1:37:51 - End: Chp.29:1:41:04 = 3:13}
Now, you may not crave a ring, and I certainly hope you don’t struggle with a split personality like poor Smeagol. In fact, if you know this story you know that Smeagol’s victory over his alter ego Gollum, is short lived and he cannot maintain the victory over his evil desires. But that struggle we just saw is a vivid reminder that we all have cravings and desires that must be controlled. And that’s why James wants us to begin by admitting the reality of our inner cravings or desires. We all have wants that battle for our priority. Some of us have a passion for possessions. We have a desire within to own a large, comfortable home, a particularly nice car, we want that boat or vacation home. Some of you may have a goal to be a millionaire or are continually hoping to win the lottery.
Some of us have a craving for pleasure. We aren’t necessarily caught up in being rich, we just want above all else to feel good. I just want the simple pleasure’s of life- to have the freedom to play a round of golf whenever I desire, or to go fishing or play tennis or just to eat out at McDonald’s in Hawaii once in a while. Some have trouble controlling their desire for sex or booze or drugs, those things that bring the body temporary gratification.
Some of us crave influence or power. We are not driven by possessions or pleasure but we want to be esteemed. We want people to respect us because of achievement and accomplishment. “She runs her own company. He makes 6 figures. She has her doctorate you know. He preaches at the largest Church in town. He’s the captain of the football team.”
But it’s important to understand that these desires are not evil in themselves, they just need to be harnessed. It’s older, but it’s a classic. J. Wallace Hamilton wrote a book entitled, Ride the Wild Horses. In it he explains that the “Wild Horses” are our untamed impulses or cravings that are a part of our human nature. Hamilton writes, "Although we do not accept the animal philosophy of life we all acknowledge that we have a bit of the wild stuff in us. Often in common speech, we say of one another, "He’s as sly as a fox"- “He eats like a pig"-He’s as stubborn as a mule"- or "proud as a peacock." The resemblance is there all right; sometimes, we suspect, it is a bit unfair to the animals." So the question is not do we have these cravings, we all do. But, "What do you do with the Wild Horses of natural instinct, the desires that beat within the heart every human being?"
Hamilton uses the illustration of a cowboy in the wild west that gets a hold of a wild stallion. When that happened the cowboy had one of 3 options. First, he could eliminate the horse. Just shoot the ornery thing and walk. And some people’s ideas of what they are to do with their desires is self-negation. They must eliminate their cravings at all costs. And so you have monasteries or elaborate methods of losing yourself in a trance-induced escape. It works as long as you never come out of the trance or leave the monastery.
The second option for the cowboy, was instead of eliminating the horse to eliminate the rider and allow the horse to run wild. This option is self-indulgence. And some people’s idea of what they are to do with their desires is to satisfy them at all costs. "If it feels good do it!" “It’s my life, I’ll live the way I want.”
But the third option, is the option that James would recommend: to ride the wild horses. You see the experienced cowboy knows that the solution is to tame the horse and use it for good. So our response to our desires is not self-negation, it’s not self-indulgence, it’s self-control. Nothing wrong with possessions. God has given us that desire so we can provide for our families and have enough to share with others. It is not sinful to want pleasure. Indeed, the desire for sexual pleasure is one of the primary motivations for getting married and pleasing your mate. It’s not wrong to want to be influential. If no one wanted to have influence there would be no leaders. But all these desires must be controlled or much like Smeagol, they will consume us.
The apostle Paul, probably the greatest missionary that ever lived, is an excellent example of a person who had great desires that were eventually controlled. He wanted to be influential, recognized as a great leader in the Jewish political scene. So much so that he persecuted and killed Christians. But God broke Paul’s pride. He blinded him, showed him that he was wrong. And Paul later wrote in Phil.3:7-9- "The things that I used to think as the most important have now been thrown away as I put my hope and trust in Christ. Not only that, I think everything is worthless compared to knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. I’ve changed my priorities because of Him." (SEB) Paul’s desires were not negated, they were just channeled. So, let’s begin by confessing that we all have cravings, and understand that they must be channeled rightly.
II. CONFIRM THE DANGERS:
It is this need to channel our cravings that brings James to make the point that there are dangers that can result from uncontrolled desires. He says our uncontrolled cravings create conflict with others. For examples uncontrolled wants can create national conflicts. Where do wars come from? Desires. Why did we go to war with Iraq the first time? The Gulf War started because Saddam Hussein desired more land and so he invaded Kuwait. And if we are honest with ourselves I think we will admit that part of the reason we sent our military over there in the first place was to keep Hussein from monopolizing the oil market. Our desire was to keep oil prices stable, which obviously didn’t work all that well. But, our conflict in this region is not unlike all national conflict. Most wars are started from the desire of individuals within a country to want something they don’t have... land, wealth, power.
Our cravings not only create conflict with other nations but with other individuals. Abraham Lincoln’s two sons were once bickering with each other and someone asked, "Abe, what’s wrong with your boys?" He said, "The same thing that’s wrong with the world. I’ve got 3 walnuts and each of them wants 2." And so many of our desires depend on the denial of somebody else’s. In order for me to get the kind of success I want, someone else has got to fail. For one team to win the world series another team has to lose. For you to own the largest business in your field means someone else has got to be the second largest. For you to win a promotion someone else has got to go home and tell their family they didn’t get it. Now, don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying it’s wrong to win a ball game or succeed at your job. I just want us to acknowledge the fact that when that happens it can lead to conflict.
And our cravings cause conflict even in the Church. Bob Russell tells of preaching a revival at a church that was split right down the middle. One elder and his family sat on one side of the Church and went out the side door. Another elder and his family & friends sat on the other side of the Church and left out the back door so they wouldn’t have to speak to each other. And Bob said, that conflict between those two groups killed the Church. No spirit of love, no attitude of forgiveness. The source of the conflict? One of the elders coached the church softball team and had benched the other elder’s son. No wonder James says in v.2 - “You want something but cannot get it, so you fight...”
And our cravings not only create conflict with others but also creates conflict with God. James says in the last of vs:2 "You do not have, because you do not ask God." You get so caught up in the pursuit of worldly desires that your spiritual life gets negated. And when you do pray your requests are completely selfish. V.3: “...if you do ask, you do not receive because your reasons for asking are wrong. You want these things for selfish motives.” We pray things like: "Lord, please help me to win the Colorado Lottery. If I do I’ll give away 80% and keep a mere five million for myself." And in my weaker moments I’m thinking, “Would that be all that bad?” But the problem is our motives. James is saying, "You aren’t praying for God’s will to be done, you’re praying that God will do things your way. That he will fulfill your earthly desires, what you want when you want it, and then you become angry when He doesn’t respond in the way you want.”
And James warns us in v.4 that we can become so friendly with the world that we actually can become enemies with God. “Do you not know that to love the sinful things of the world are to be a friend to them is to be against God? I say it again, if your purpose in life is only to love this world, you can’t be a friend of God.” Now, since God loves us intensely, He is jealous and angered when we flirt with the world. That’s why 1 Jn 2:15 reads: "Don’t love the world and what it offers. Those who love the world don’t have God’s love as their priority and thus make God their enemy. 16The things that the world offers - physical gratification, greed, and extravagant lifestyles - are not from God. They come from the world, and 17the world and all that people crave are passing away. But the person who does what God wants lives forever." (SEB)
III. CULTIVATE CONTROL:
So, since we know that we all have cravings and since we recognize their dangers the big question is how do we develop control over our desires? I want you to see in this passage 3 suggestions that should help us cultivate control- help us ride the wild horses of human instinct.
First, identify your values, in other words choose what you really want out of life. Make a decision of what is the first priority in your life and then don’t look back. Vs:4 says, "...if your purpose (choice) in this life is only to love this world..." But you know what? We don’t usually make the decision to love the world, to make this life our priority immediately. It’s usually a gradual decision. We make a choice here, a choice there and before we know it we’re sucked into the value system of this world.
Andy Stanley has written a great, little book entitled, Choosing to Cheat. He writes: “It sounds bad but it’s true, we all must choose to cheat. It’s simple, the problem is not a lack of discipline or time management, it is simply lack of time. With only 24 hours in each day, we cannot do everything. We think we can give 100% to our family, 100% to our job, 100% to our hobbies, 100% to our leisure, but that’s 400%! It can’t be done. Any time we set a priority we have said that something else in that moment is less important. Anytime we say ‘yes’ to something we’ve also said ‘No’ to something. It’s a fact of life, we have to choose to cheat. The key is learning when and where to cheat.” It’s true isn’t it? We are faced with choices all the time that put one thing over another. Oh, many of us would say our priorities are God, family, work and leisure, but how many really live out that verbiage?
What I would say to you this morning is that it’s time to make an irrevocable choice of what we really want most in life. Now, what I’m about to say is tough- I prayed a lot before I decided to say this. But, I an convinced it is what James is saying here. You need to decide what is most important in your life and then go all out for it. If you decide that you want, more than anything else, the pleasures or the possessions or the popularity of this world... then go get it. Don’t mess around, become entirely materialistic, get all the possessions you can get. Live completely for pleasure, do anything and everything to feel good. Become totally engrossed in your social climbing. Let nothing stand in your way of being #1. Because if that’s what you really want then you’ve only got a short time to get it. But.. at the same time be honest enough with yourself to understand that one day the things you most desire are temporary enjoyments. Because even if you get everything you want, one day you’ll die and it’ll all stay here. You know, I’ve never heard anyone on their death bed say, “I wish I ‘d spent more time at the office.” “I wish I had finished just one more report.” I wish I had just used one more person for my gratification.” Never heard that. But I have heard, “I wish I’d spent more time with my spouse.” “I wish I’d given more of my life to my kids.” “I wish I has spent more time growing closer to God.”
But.. there’s a better way- a better choice. And that is to make an irrevocable decision that you want more than anything, to follow Jesus Christ and then you don’t look back. That doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect but you make that choice and you never waver on who you want to be. And here’s the truth that a number of us in this room will tell you. When you make following Jesus Christ your top priority, all kinds of things fall into place. Your family, because the Bible tells us to take care of them above everyone else. Your work, because the Bible tells us that a worker deserves his wage. Your personal relationships, because the Bible tells us to treat others like we want to be treated. My prayer for you is that you will say like Joshua of old. He said: "So, honor the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever your idols... But, if you are unwilling to serve the Lord then decide today who you will serve... But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15-17 NLT) And no mistake, God will let us choose. There’s no force here. But the 1st step, in controlling your cravings, is to make a once and for all choice, identify what you will value above all else.
Then, secondly, implement those values. It’s not enough to just say what I want first in my life, you need to begin concrete changes that reflect that desire. For example, if you are sitting there today saying, “I say I want to give my family my priority but I’m actually cheating on them for work.” Then sit down today and talk with your spouse and setup a schedule. Schedule regularly a date night, a family day, put it on your calendar as your most important appointment and let nothing takes it’s place. Maybe you need to go in and talk to your employer. Say, “I’ve gotten into a bad habit and it’s hurting my family, can we talk about how I might be able to adjust my work schedule?” You may be surprised how many people, including your boss, relate to your problem. If you decide that you haven’t given God His due then schedule a daily or at least weekly quiet time. Call us and ask for books to read or study. Make a commitment with your family like Joshua. “We’re going to honor God above all because He’s honored us by giving us so many blessings, so here’s what we’re going to do. We’re not missing church unless their an emergency, we’re going to have a family devotion time... etc., etc.” Do you see the point? Begin to make some concrete plans to implement the values you say you want as the most important.
Then one more thing. Involve God in your values. Look through this passage and see how James suggests we do that. In vs:2 he says, “Ask God for help.” "You do not get things because you do not ask for them." Now, he’s not suggesting that God become our magic Genie. He’s saying, “Listen, God wants your best so involve him in your desires.” You know what I’ve found? When I talk to God about having things often He’ll rearrange my priorities even during my prayer. Talking to Him about what I desire often makes me think about what I really need over what I think I want.
And then vs:7- "Submit yourselves to God.." That word "submit" is simply a military word that means, "get into proper rank." You’re not the general, He is. You’re a private at best. And "Resist the devil and he will run.." Now, if you’re here just checking God out you might think the devil is something pretty mystical. But please understand the Bible teaches us that the Devil is real and one of his greatest weapons is to make the things of this world really attractive! To distract us away from God. But James gives us a promise- he says if you resist the devil he will run. But he also says something in vs:8 that is even more important.
“Draw close to God..” And if you’ll do that... “He will come close to you.”Someone has said that there are two views that the everyone ought to want to see: One is the devil’s back as he is leaving and the other is God’s face as He is drawing near. Now, how do you draw near to God? Well, you do it continuously by pursuing 3 things: 1.Intimacy with God by honoring him regularly. You do that by coming here, by having your own quiet time where you read the Bible and talk to Him in prayer.
2. Connection with insiders, that is, you associate with others in a small group who are drawing near to God, so you can rub off the value systems of the world and come nearer to Him and each other. And 3. You pursue influence with outsiders, you share with others what God is doing in your life. But please don’t miss this. If you will draw near to God, He promises He’ll draw near to you. In fact, He’s just waiting for you to come. He makes this promise in Jer. 29:13 - “When you seek me you will find me. If you will run wholeheartedly after me, you will find that I was always there. Draw close to me and I will draw close to you.”(NLV)
Song: O Lord, Draw Me Near (Selah with background video)
