HOW TO BECOME THE WOMAN OF YOUR HUSBAND’S DREAMS
Ephesians 5:22-24
INTRODUCTION
Ladies, this morning I would like to share with you, how to become the woman of your husband’s dreams, how to protect your marriage from the “Other Woman.” Now, for the past 2 weeks I have about marriage. The first week in this series we talked about the foundation for marriage. Last week I talked to the men about their responsibilities and I believe I was brutally honest. This morning I would like to share with you what God’s Word says about being a godly lady, about how to become the woman of your husbands’ dreams. Please turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 22. Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 22, as this morning we see together, God’s plan for a lady. Ephesians chapter 5 and beginning in verse 22.
- Read Ephesians 5:22-24 –
REASONS TO BECOME THE WOMAN OF YOUR HUSBAND’S DREAMS
Now some of you might ask, “Why should I go to the trouble of working to please my husband? Why should I work to strive to be the woman of his dreams? We get along OK, we’re married now and I know he’s not going anywhere. Why should I go the extra mile to please him?”
I believe there are 4 primary reasons why it is to your advantage to strive to become the wife God intended you to be. There are 4 primary reasons why you should work to become the woman of your husband’s dreams.
Number 1, you should strive to become the woman of your husband’s dreams because it pleases God.
1. IT PLEASES GOD – Ephesians 5:21 says, “. . . and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” And again in verse 22 he says, “Wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” These verses mean that serving your husband, pleasing your husband, is not just for your husband’s sake, but it is also for the Lord. Paul says in Corinthians 10, “Whether ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do it as unto the Lord.” Every thing we do is done for God’s sake, to please Him.
So the first reason you should seek to please your husband is because in doing so you also please God. That is a good enough reason for any Christian person to decide on any course of action, because it pleases God. But, there are other reasons to put forth the extra effort as well. Not only will your striving to please your husband please God, but also, by living with your husband as a helpmeet, as a godly lady following God’s plan for the home, you may also gain your husband’s salvation.
2. YOU MAY GAIN HIS SALVATION – 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” Now many people try many different things to try and get people they love and care about to accept Christ. Parents teach their children, husbands pray for their wives, and many people try many different things, but one of the best ways to win someone is through your example, by loving them to Christ.
Bull Bramlett said that after his wife accepted Christ, she tried everything in the world she could think of to try and get him to become a Christian as well. One evening he staggered home drunk and passed out in the bed next to his wife. The next morning when he went into the bathroom to shave, his wife had written a note for him on the bathroom mirror, in lipstick. It said, “God’s gonna get you.” He asked, “Can you imagine seeing something like that on your mirror in the morning when you’re already struggling from a hangover?”
He went to work, and everyday she packed his lunch. He went to pull out his lunch and she had left him a note in the bag. It said, “I love you but God’s gonna get you.” He said, “He’s not gonna get me, I’m gonna get drunk.” So after work he went to the bar and got drunk. When he left, he went out to the car, and there, pasted on the steering wheel of his car was a big note, it said, “I still love you, but God’s gonna get you.”
Peter says, instead of writing repent on your husband’s beer can, instead of beating him over the head with your Bible like a modern version of Aunt Ester, instead, live life as a godly wife, love and take care of your husband. Peter says that some may be won without you even saying a word, being convicted by your example.
Striving to become the woman of your husband’s dreams take work, it may hurt, and you may see no fruit for a long time, but in the end it may be the straw which leads him to be saved. Do you love your husband enough for that?
Why should you strive to become the woman of your husband’s dreams? Because it pleases God, because your husband might be saved through your efforts, and thirdly, It is God’s plan for marriage.
3. IT IS GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE – Now there are people today who enter marriage thinking only about themselves. All they are worried about is what they can get out of the marriage, what the other person can do for them. Let me tell you, if that is your motive and you want to get married, don’t come and ask me to perform the service. Why? Because that is not what God intended marriage to be, 2 selfish people thinking only of what they can get out of the deal. In verse 21 Paul said, “being subject to one another.”
That means that in marriage you are to strive to please, to serve one another. That’s God’s plan for marriage and if that is not the plan you are following, then your marriage will never be all it could be, it will never be as good as God intended it to be. You see, if things are going to work right, you need to follow the instructions of the person who invented the thing in the first place.
A number of years ago, we were given a paper to work on in one of my classes. When the teacher handed out the paper, she told us all not to complete any of the problems until we had read the whole paper. I did what most in my class did. I read the opening instructions and then began working on the problems. Imagine my surprise when I discovered at the end of the page, an instruction which said, “Do not work any of the above problems. Sit quietly in your seat and look around at all of the people who did not follow instructions.”
The same is true with marriage. God has a plan for marriage. He has a plan for the home. His plan and His instructions are in this book and your marriage will never be all that it can be, it will never be all that God intended and you hoped it would be, until you follow God’s plan.
Why should you strive to become the woman of your husband’s dreams? There are 4 primary reasons, first, it pleases God; second, you might win your husband’s salvation; third, it is God’s plan for marriage; and 4th, it is God’s command.
4. IT IS GOD’S COMMAND
In Matthew 7:12 Jesus said, “Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them.” In other words, God commands us to treat one another with kindness, to try and please one another. Again, Paul writes in Galatians 6:7, “. . . Whatever a man sows, he will reap.” If you want you spouse to treat you well, if you want him to seek to please you, then please them first.
Together we have looked at some reason for becoming the woman of your husband’s dreams, let’s look now at the requirements for being the woman of your husband’s dreams. Look with me please at Ephesians 5:33.
- Ephesians 5:33
REQUIREMENTS FOR BEING THE WOMAN OF YOUR HUSBANDS’ DREAMS
I. _Honor Your Husband_
> 1 Peter 3:2b . . . as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
> Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
> Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.
1. _By Your Life_
Live a godly life. Become a woman your husband can point to with pride.
2. _By Your Actions_
> Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
a. Be _Encouraging_ - Ladies, the gift of encouragement is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give your husband. Build him up. Point out the successes in his life. The world has a way of pointing out our failures, and of reminding us when and where we come up short. You need to be your husband’s greatest cheerleader.
I once knew a youth pastor who did a terrible job. It was a relief to his pastor when he finally left. Some time after he left, he and his new wife returned to their former church for a visit and while there, he was telling the pastor of what was going on with the youth group at his new church. His wife later said, “Isn’t he a great youth pastor?” Now, what she said wasn’t necessarily true, but it sure helped her husband and it helped build their home.
Ladies, you’re on his team. You’re his teammate in this thing called life and marriage. Be encouraging.
b. Admire his _Accomplishments_ - Your husband may not be the best at everything, but each of us have successes in some areas. Ladies, admire your husbands accomplishments. Build up the things he is good at. ... It will help him, and you will find that it will help build his image in your own eyes. ...
c. Admire his _Attempts_ . Growing up, my dad wasn’t much into Christmas shopping. He usually left all of that up to my Mom and then on Christmas morning he would encourage us to open our packages so he could see what he had given us. One year, however, I remember he had decided to give me a new mirror to replace the broken mirror on my truck.
My Dad actually made a suggestion for Christmas. He was attempting to get with the program. My Mom went with it whole hog. Why? Because he was trying. ...
II. _Let Him Lead_
> Ephesians 5:22 Wives be subject to your own husbands as unto the Lord.
The word “Submit” means to _Willingly Respond, yield._
Have you seen some of what is considered dancing these days? My goodness, those people are jumping around all over the place, sometimes to the point where you can’t tell who they’re supposed to be dancing with. In the old days, when a couple danced together, they would usually hold on to one another, and dance as a couple. When they wanted to dance, one had to lead and one had to follow that lead.
The same is true of marriage. If you don’t care what the marriage is like, if you don’t care what your home and family is like, everyone can do their own thing. But, if you want a marriage that is working like a well-oiled machine, if you want a marriage that is working toward a common goal, one that is growing and maturing, only one can lead.
Ladies, encourage your husband to lead the home, encourage him to lead the family.
III. _Share Passion_
- 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
A prominent doctor made a list of 6 things he desired most upon his arrival home each night.
1. Have house presentable
2. Be attired in a negligee
3. Provide 20 minutes for me to relax before being presented with
the crises of the day.
4. Be attired in a negligee.
5. Have meal ready within an hour.
6. Be attired in a negligee.
Note: If negligee is black, items 1, 3, & 5 may be omitted.
Ladies, this may come as a surprise to you, but men are usually much more sexually driven than women are. I’m kidding. I’m sure it comes as no surprise. One of the things you can do to help build your marriage is to share his passion. That means a number of things.
Fix yourself up. I know everyone but me is getting older, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work with what you have. I am grateful that my wife takes the time, every morning, to put on her makeup. Why? Because she wants to look good for me. Can I tell you what it means to your husband to know you’ll do your best to please him?
Show some enthusiasm when your husband gets a gleam in his eye. That may mean you have to turn off the TV and get some more sleep. It may mean you have to turn off your soaps, or put away your romance novels because no man can live up to those fictional characters people write about. Whatever it takes, share your husband’s passion.
IV. _Forgive__
> Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Nothing will destroy the sweetness, the spirit of a home more surely than unforgiveness. Forgive your husband. Yes, I know we sometimes make mistakes in the things we say. Yes, I know sometimes hurt you and don’t even know it. But you must forgive.
Forgive the mistakes we make. Several years ago I made an investment I was convinced would pay off well. Instead, we lost money. Now, if Gladys threw that up at me every time things were tight we never would get beyond it. It would remain a wall between us to this day. But, in every area of life, we make mistakes.
Forgive.
V. _Take Pride in Your Home_
> Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
> Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
> Titus 2:5 . . . be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, to love their children, . . .
Invest your time in building your home. Invest time in making your home a place that your children and your husband want to return to. Be a helper and defender to your husband. ...
CONCLUSION
A lady in Virginia once wrote to a columnist saying, ‘ If we lost everything tomorrow, we would love being together and starting all over and enjoy getting here just as much the second time around. After 14 years of marriage, which seem like 1, my heart still jumps when my husband comes home and I let him know it. My husband is color-blind so I lay out all his clothes every day without feeling or acting like a slave.
My husband couldn’t find another woman that would be as good to him,” she continued. “He knows it and he tells me in so many ways. He is home every night or out with Me. Now which is the bigger fool – my friends who tell me I am a doormat or me?”
