RELIGION THAT REALLY WORKS - Week 3
TAMING THE TROUBLEMAKER
JAMES 3:1-12
INTRODUCTION:
Finish this statement for me. "Sticks and Stones may _____ __ _____, but _____ ____ ______ ____ ___." How long did it take you to learn that little saying may be the dumbest..and the most untrue statement? Probably not very long. I mean when we were little we might shout that to other kids just after they had called us an ugly name, and then we run home crying. Because those names, "fatso," "skinny," "four-eyes," "chicken," really were painful. So we said that little ditty to cover up how deeply it hurt. In fact, I’m sure some of you here today can mentally replay a time or two when derogatory comments were made about you. You remember the pain. I read where someone rewrote that saying more truthfully when they wrote: "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but they can soon be mended. But names and words hurt my soul and the damage has never ended." Prov. 18:21- "...the tongue can kill or nourish life."(NLT)
Well, in this 3rd chapter, James offers another of his prescriptions for a healthy soul- taming the tongue. He tells us that this small muscle in our mouths can be an terrible troublemaker because it has awesome power. And he insists that just as a Doctor asks us to stick out our tongues and say “Ahhhh....” to check for physical health, Jesus, the Great Physician does the same thing and measures spiritual health by what our tongue speaks. Now, no matter where you are in your spiritual journey, from just checking this whole God thing out or a follower of Jesus for many years, this is a message where all of us can benefit. Because like the other studies in this book, this is very practical and demonstrates once again a religion that really works.
I. THE TONGUE HAS POSITIVE POWER:
James begins by telling us that the tongue has positive power. Human speech has its dangers but the ability to speak well can be a tremendous blessing. For example, it has the power for instruction. Vs:1- “My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers, because of their talk, will be judged more strictly than others.” Now, James is not saying that no-one should teach. We need those who will give us proper and positive instruction. He is simply saying that teaching is a serious responsibility because there is such power in teaching- to mold, to mature and on a spiritual level, to offer salvation. 2 Tim. 4:16 says, “Watch how you live and what you teach...because if you do these things you will save the people who listen to you.” (SEB) In other words, it’s from our words that they learn about God’s love and how He wants them to be with Him forever. So, James is not saying, “don’t teach,” but to recognize the responsibility that comes with teaching because what we say, especially to those who are looking to us for instruction, can have such power, both positive and negative. That’s why he says teachers will be judged more strictly. How and what we teach is an awesome responsibility.
And the tongue not only has power for instruction but also has the power for direction. Look at vss:3 & 4- “We put a bit into the mouth of a horse so we can turn the horse in different directions. 4It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction.” James uses these metaphors to make the point that the tongue, although a small membrane, has large power to direct our character. This was interesting to me as I studied it because we don’t normally think of the tongue as controlling us, we normally think of the tongue as reflecting what is really down inside of us. Even Jesus said in Lk.6:45 - "Your words show what is in your heart." (CEV) In other words Jesus was saying that the most ready expression of what you are on the inside is what is flowing out from your tongue. That’s why the old saying, "The mouth is the billboard of the heart."
But James makes the point that there’s another side to that coin. Just as our speech reveals our character, our character can also be controlled by disciplining our speech. Vs: 3 says you control a horse by a bit. When we lived in Tennessee back in the 80’s, I helped at a stable and so got to ride horses quite a bit. One day I was given a hackamore bridle to try. Now those of you that have some equestrian experience will know that a hackamore bridle has no bit. It controls the horse by exerting pressure on the nose and it works well on a horse that has been trained by it. Unfortunately this horse hadn’t been trained and no one told me. It didn’t take but a moment for that animal to realize that he didn’t have a bit in his mouth and for me to realize I was in trouble. How I wished for that small piece of metal because I needed it in order to control which direction the horse would go. Just as with a rudder of a ship, the bit may be small but I had no control without it. And the tongue is certainly small but our character is controlled by how we use it. Alex Montier said about this principle: "Control of the tongue leads to master control of our lives. The control of the tongue is more than an evidence of spiritual maturity, it is the means to it." James says it this way in vs:2 “...if you control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body.”
How does that work? How can our tongue mold and mature our character? Well, let’s say for example, that you are entertaining the thought of revenge, you’re really angry at someone. But instead of allowing your tongue to spume out venom against them you speak words about them that are kind. You verbalize their strengths, you actually, on purpose, find something honest but kind to say to another person about them. And you will find that the expression of kindness will begin to alter your thinking and change your heart. That’s why Jesus said in Lk. 6:26, "Pray for those who mistreat you."(TEV) Because when you verbalize a prayer for your enemy it helps to control your attitude. Why do you think, when it comes to drugs, we teach out young people to, "Just say No!" We don’t tell them "just think no," we want them to verbalize it. A drug free habit is supported by repeatedly saying “no.” It’s why James teaches in 5:16- “If you have sinned, tell each other what you have done.”(TEV) Because verbalizing the truth is the first step to control.
Guys, let’s say that you and your wife are drifting apart a little bit, your marriage is losing it’s romance. What’s one of the ways to regain it? By controlling your tongue! You say those 3 words that will warm up her heart. "Let’s eat out!" -OR- "I love you." OR- "I am sorry." "Please forgive me." Pretty soon if you control your speech you’ll control your behavior & the feelings can return.
And one other way the tongue is a delight and that is it has, as James says in vs:9, the power to praise. We sang an old hymn today in a new way, but it said: "O for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer’s praise." Well, we don’t have 1000 tongues, but we have 1. And the highest use that the tongue can have is to praise God. And the tongue has the power to praise other people too. Someone has listed life’s most meaningful words: "I love you." "It’s benign." "The war is over." "No cavities." "Thank you." “Merry Christmas,” "God bless you." "Welcome home." "Your hired." "Your child is beautiful." Just words, powerful words because they’re encouraging. No wonder Solomon wrote in Prov. 25:11- "The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver."(CEV)
II. THE TONGUE CAN DELIVER DESTRUCTION:
But our tongues also can deliver destruction. In fact, James uses two illustrations here to point out the fact that although the tongue is small it is powerful. Look at the last of vs:5- “It takes only a spark to start a forest fire!”Now, most of us have seen the results of a forest fire. The trees and vegetation that have been turned to charcoal. And every time a blaze begins it does so with a small fire. Whether it’s from a careless camper or a bolt of lightning- it does not start with the entire forest aflame. And that’s James’ point. Much destruction begins with a small spark. Maybe when you were at camp or in the boy or girl scouts you sang... "One dark night when we were all in bed, old lady O’Leary lit a lantern in her shed. And when the cow kicked it over, she winked her eye and said, "It’ll be a hot time in the ole town tonight." And we’d yell, "Fire-Fire-Fire." It wasn’t til years later that I learned that the song was based on fact. It may not have been a cow but the great fire of Chicago began at 8:30pm, Oct. 8, 1871 by a small blaze in the barn of Patrick and Catherine O’Leary. It left over 80,000 people homeless, 17,500 buildings were destroyed and 300 people killed. What damage from such a small start. And you can carelessly speak a word that’s like a spark- and you have no idea of the ultimate damage that can be caused by your words. That’s why James writes in vs:6- “The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person’s entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself.”
Then he uses a second illustration in vs:8 saying that the tongue... “is full of deadly poison.” Poison is deliberate but it is deceptive. A malicious person can secretly put a little poison in your food or a small amount in your drink and do great harm. And people can interject just a little bit of poison along with the truth into the conversation and it will spread and destroy. In fact, James tells us that there are several different kinds of words that are negative and can do harm. In vs:9 James mentions cursing. That’s destructive. We call people undesirable parts of the anatomy, we challenge their ancestry, we tell God to damn them. That’s certainly out of place for a believer. Eph. 5:4 says, “It is not fitting for a Christian to use language that is obscene, profane or vulgar. Rather speak positive words of thanks."(SEB)
Then in vs:5 James mentions another damaging form of speech- bragging or boasting. Boy, when you do something good it’s hard not to brag about it, especially if you don’t think anyone knows or has noticed that you’ve done a good thing. But somebody once said, "When you toot your own horn, you invariably get the tune too high." And James is telling us not to be a boastful people. How many of you want to go out to lunch today with a conceited jerk? Someone who only talks about themselves and how great they are? Me either. But I am so impressed by someone whose life is marked by humility. God feels the same way. He says in Psalms 75:4 & 6, "To the arrogant I say, boast no more, and to the wicked, do not lift up your horns.. No one from the east or the west can exalt a man but it is God who judges." (NIV) If God wants you to be exalted He’ll do it, don’t boost yourself up.
Another poisonous use of the tongue is lying, or twisting the truth. Some lies are blatant and we recognize them. But some are more subtle and are purposefully there for selfish reasons. Many think it’s okay as long as our falsehoods are just “little white lies,” but even the littlest untruths can bring hurt. Prov. 26:28 reads, "You don’t have the other person’s best interest at heart when you lie. Flattery can bring ruin." (TEV) Gossip is another destructive use of the tongue. Prov. 26:20 reads, "Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and tensions disappear when gossip stops." (LB) You see some of us begin with the assumption that it is okay to talk about someone else as long as it’s true or we think it’s true. That’s not a mature nor accurate definition. Great hurt has been caused even from something true that should not be shared. Here’s a better definition of gossip: "Gossip is sharing anything about someone when the act of that sharing it is not a part of the solution." And please understand, the Bible teaches that you are just as guilty of gossip when you willfully listen to it. Prov. 17:4- "Evil people relish malicious conversation, the ears of the wicked itch for dirty gossip." (MSG) In other words, don’t even listen to gossip/rumor, find a way to turn the conversation around.
So our tongues are filled with poison when they express cursing, boasting, lying and gossip and James says when you do these things you are a hypocrite. Vs:10- “We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn’t right.” And in vss:11 &12 he asks some questions that obviously expect a negative answer. “Can clean water and dirty water both flow from the same spring? 12Can a fig tree produce olives or a grapevine produce figs? Does fresh water come from a well full of salt water?” James is saying when you understand you should use your tongue for the positive but use it in one of the ways we just mentioned then you are acting out of a divided heart. And if you claim to be a Christian and do this, then you are producing fruit that is contradictory to the kind of tree you say you are.
III. TAMING THE TONGUE:
So, is anyone ready to say that they’ve never had a problem in any of these areas? I’ll be the first to admit that my tongue has hurt others as well as myself. So, the question is not, what have you done? But how do we improve? How can we discipline this powerful instrument? Here are 3 practical suggestions.
(1) Recognize the seriousness of the problem. The solution must start with this basic truth because there are a number of people who don’t think how they use their tongue or of things like “little white lies” or gossip as a problem. In fact some think of these kinds of things as harmless or even fun.
{Video clip: “Gossip” Start: Chap. 3 - 7:06 - End: 9:05 - 1:59}
Now, we’re going to deal with some of that character’s “thesis” in a moment but there are a lot of people who would agree with him. “People are just people, they do what they do” and gossip or telling little white lies or using our tongue in a number of wrong ways is not all that bad. After all, it’s only words right? But, we know better. Words can hurt. In fact, if you’ve seen that movie you know that words can cause years of pain. So, let’s start by coming clean and understand that this is serious stuff. Don’t rationalize, "Well, I’m a little flippant with my speech, I’ll admit that. But at least I’m not a murderer or an adulterer. I mean, I might enjoy a juicy rumor and I maybe swear once in a while but nothing serious." James is trying to get us to understand that the tongue is a lethal weapon that does a lot of damage. In fact, in Prov. 6:16-19 there are listed 7 things that are detestable before God and 3 of the 7 have to do with our speech. “A lying tongue, giving false witness and a man who stirs up discord among brothers." So, the first thing we need to do is recognize how serious this is, admit the problem... and the second we need to do is:
(2) Lead with your ears and follow with your mouth. In other words, let’s make a commitment to change the way we talk. James wrote in 1:19 - “Everyone must be quick to listen and slow to speak..”(TEV) Anyone else besides me ever had a problem with that? I can react so quickly. When I’m arguing with my wife I don’t always listen real well and spout off before I’ve really listened. James’s adage here has been backed up by many. Abraham Lincoln said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Calvin Coolidge said, “I’ve never been hurt by anything I did not say.” Let today be the day where you take this stand: “I’m going to spend more time listening and less time talking.” So, first, recognize the seriousness of the problem. Then second, make the practical commitment to lead with your ears (listen) and follow with your mouth (talk less) and then the 3rd suggestion is:
(3) Surrender your tongue. James says in vs:8 "No one can tame the tongue." In other words, you can’t do it on your own. We need to ask for help. First, ask God, He wants to help you. Say the prayer David did in Psa. 141:3- "Lord, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what I say." But secondly, we also need the help from people who are close to us. We need to be accountable to those who know us. One of the humorous things about the ministry is that people really tend to talk differently around you when they find out you’re a preacher. I had a guy not long ago that cussed, then found out my vocation and he immediately said, "Oh, sorry for that earlier, preacher." But isn’t it amazing how people can control their language when they discover that they are around people to whom good talk is important? If you’re really serious about doing better than talk it over with someone close to you. Say to them, "Look, I’ve made a vow to God that I’m going to quit gossiping, I’m going to quit profanity- lying, so when I say something that’s wrong will you point it out to me?" They’ll be happy to help! Now, when they do, don’t get mad, be mature enough to be grateful.
And then as a part of surrendering your tongue take some speech therapy. Before you say anything that might even have the potential of being harmful ask these questions. 1. Is it true? So many people don’t take the time to investigate something and just repeat it. Let’s go back to our video clip. Derrick Web says a couple of interesting things in his response to the professor. For example: (play clip where he says, “Gossip and news are the same thing. They’ve always been the same thing.” Chap.3 -8:23) Is that true? Is news always without fact or certainty? When the news reports that someone has died or that the roads are slick because of snow is that gossip? Or how about this- (play clip where he says, “When you read the Gospels, they are just a bunch of stories that completely contradict each other?”) Really? There are things in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John that are different but do they completely contradict each other or do they, as witnesses see the same thing from just different angles? As an ex-police officer I can tell you that eye-witnesses see things differently and rather than being contradictory, they give additional truth. The first thing we must ask before we repeat something is “Is it true?” If we don’t know, if we haven’t investigated it then don’t say it! That would stop a lot of troublesome speech in it’s track.
Then, if you know it is true, ask yourself question #2: “Is it necessary?” What is the reason that you need to say these particular words? Are they careless words or carefully thought out? Question #3 is “Is it beneficial?” Is what you are going to say going to build up someone or possibly tear them down? Eph. 4:29 says, “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.” (TEV) Question #4 - “Do I have permission to share it?”This would stop a lot of gossip... If I don’t have the explicit permission from the source to share this with someone, I won’t. I won’t even pray for someone around others unless the source knows and has said it’s okay. And then after all these questions ask #5 - “What if the tables were turned?” If this was someone else talking or sharing and it was about you... how would you feel? Would you like it? Would you be uncomfortable that it was being shared? How would it feel if the tables were turned? Now these questions aren’t fool proof but they can go a long way in helping us surrender our tongues, keeping us from trouble and others from hurt.
Let’s close by repeating this verse together from Col. 4:6: "Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others through our conversation, not put them down or cut them...." (MSG) I think it’s time to open our mouths, stick out our tongues and say "ahhhh..." not so much for checking our physical health but to see what it says about our character.
{All Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, Contemporary English Version unless otherwise noted.}
