THE FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE
(Marriage 1)
I read the other day, about an 83 year old man who had lived his entire life as a bachelor. One day the man gathered his 4 nephews and announced that he was planning to get married. His nephews were in shock. One spoke up and said, “Uncle, are you getting married because the woman is beautiful?” “No,” he said. Another nephew asked, “Uncle, are you getting married because this woman is a great cook?” Again he said, “No.” The 3rd nephew questioned, “Are you marrying this woman because she’s rich?” “Of course not,” was his reply. The final nephew said, “Uncle, if you’re not marrying this woman because she’s beautiful, or because she’s a great cook, or because she is rich, then why are you marrying her?” He smiled for a moment and with a wink he said, “I’m marrying her because she can drive at night!” (Tom Dooley - SermonCentral.com)
People marry for many different reasons, some good, and some not so good. But, the Bible has a lot to say about marriage.
This morning I would like us to look together back in the beginning of the Bible, when God was first building everything, when He was first setting up how everything was going to work. Turn with me this morning please to Genesis 2:18-25. Look there with me as God establishes the first family, the first home, as He institutes the first marriage.
- Read Genesis 2:18-25
In this passage we are introduced to Adam and also to 2 of the reasons, some of the most important reasons for marriage.
If we were to go back and look through chapter 1 of Genesis we would learn several items about Adam. We would learn of his noble birth.
1. Nobel Birth - The Bible tells us that Adam was formed out of the dust of the earth and that God breathed life into his lungs. Adam was built out of the same stuff as the mountains and the trees, the animals and the planets. And yet Adam was different. He had something about him that made him different than everything that had been created. He was created in the image of God.
The Bible tells us that God would regularly come down to earth and walk through the garden with Adam. Now God didn’t come down and visit with the animals. He didn’t come down to talk with the fish or the birds. He didn’t even come down to view His handiwork in the landscape. God came down to visit with Adam.
Adam was of noble birth. He had a special relationship with God that nothing else in creation had.
2. Richly endowed - Adam was also richly endowed. In this passage we read that God had Adam name all of the animals. So, Adam had the ability to think and to talk. He had intelligence. He also had immortality. There was no death or disease in the world yet. Adam didn’t have to worry about getting sick. He had no fear of death. He didn’t have to worry about what to wear. He didn’t have any clothes and if he did, he didn’t have a wife yet to tell him that what he had on didn’t match.
Adam lived in a garden. There was food around him. He never had to shop. He didn’t have any dishes to do. He never had any laundry.
Adam had many of the things in life that people seek today. But, in spite of all the things Adam had, in spite of the fellowship He had with God, there was still something missing. Adam was alone. That is one of the primary reasons for marriage and the first one mentioned in the Bible. Eve was formed and marriage was instituted for companionship.
I. THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
1. Companionship - People today often think that marriage was set up so people could have children. Hey, that’s a biggie. And, it is true that God uses marriage as a picture of the church’s relationship to Christ. But, that is not why, way back at the beginning, the Bible says God created marriage. It says, God created woman because man was alone.
And you know what, it didn’t take Adam long to discover that he was alone. It didn’t take long for loneliness to set in, because Adam and Eve were both created on the 6th day.
Adam looked around, he saw all of the animals had partners, and that just magnified his loneliness. Reminds me of my single days, when it seemed like everyone else in the world had their companion, their special friend, except me.
Let me ask you my friend, how much time do you spend with your companion? How much time do you spend with the man, the woman God has given you as your special companion?
God gave us marriage, He gave us each other for companionship. Verse 18 shows us a second reason God gave us each other also. Look there with me again please.
- Read Genesis 2:18
2. Completion - Did you see what God said He was going to make Adam? God said, “Let us make him a helpmeet, or a helper.” The word translated as “Helpmeet” or “Helper” means one who answers. One who is complimentary to. In other words, one who makes up for the short falls in another and helps them. Eve, the first woman, was made from Adam. She was made from the same flesh and the same bones, yet she was different. Believe it or not, women are different than men. If you haven’t discovered that yet, you should have already left and gone to children’s church with the other young folk.
A recent author said that men were designed needing 3 things. We need a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. He says ladies, on the other hand, need to feel that they are the beauty worthy of being rescued. We complement, we complete each other. We make up for what’s lacking in each other.
If there were only men, we might be able to take out the trash, but there’d be no one there to tell us to do so. If there were only men, we might be able to build houses, but there’s be no one there to build them for and no one there to turn those houses into homes. If there were only men, we’d have no one to throw our dirty socks at.
Reader’s Digest , recently asked, “What has 6 eyes and cannot see?” The winning answer? “Three men, in a house with dirty laundry, over-flowing trash cans, and a sink full of dirty dishes.”
You ladies might be able to fix up a house and make it nice, but who would you have it to fix up for? God gives us different temperaments. One to hold and comfort a hurt child, and the other to tell him to suck it up; one to tell your children that they’re always welcome at home, and the other to tell them to get a job. In many homes, you find one who is tight with a dollar, and another who spends more freely. In many homes you find one who wants to protect the house and its furnishings because they cost money to replace, and another one who will wrestle with the children any time and any place because they don’t want to miss out on those opportunities while they are young.
My Mom had it tough when my brothers and I were growing up. My dad wrestled with us a lot. So, every one of those pretty things my Mom tried to have around the house, had glue lines in them. I don’t know how many windows and doors we had to fix from wrestling. But, Mama would be there to put us back together when any of us got hurt.
Having a world with only men, or only women would be like having biscuits and no gravy, sausage and no eggs, pancakes and no syrup. We compliment each other. Two primary purposes of marriage; companionship and completion.
In the Bible we find not only the purpose of marriage, but also God’s plan for marriage.
II. THE PLAN OF MARRIAGE
- Genesis 2:22
1. Built by God - In verse 22 we read that God made Eve and then brought her to Adam, much like a father gives away his daughter in marriage today. Eve was God’s daughter. The one that He had made, and He gave her to Adam as a gift.
Often we hear that such & such’s have a marriage made in heaven. Shakespeare said that God is the best maker of marriages. My friend, if you are going to have a good marriage, if you are going to have a great marriage, it must be built by God.
> Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain that build it...
My friend, when we begin a relationship, we often overlook the flaws or shortcomings in the person we love. In fact, their differences are often the very things that attract us. But, after you have been together for a while, those differences can begin to grate, they can become irritations. God has made us different. He’s given us different personalities, and different perspectives. Over time, those differences can drive us apart.
However, when you have two people in a house, both of whom love and serve God; each of them growing and maturing as Christians, you find two people, each becoming more like Christ. As they grow closer to Jesus, they grow closer to each other.
Oh my friend, if you want your marriage to be all that God intended, if you want it to be better than average, if you want it to be the best it can be and strong enough to weather the storms, it must be bathed in prayer and build upon a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
The plan of marriage. First, it is built by God. Second, it is built on love.
2. Built on love and commitment -
- Genesis 2:24
The Bible says that a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. Now the word “cleave” means to stick to, to stick with, to be close alongside. The same applies to the wife. She is to forsake everyone else. Both husband and wife are to put their new relationship before everything and everyone else, except for their relationship to God. In marriage, something new is made, a new family is created.
In marriage, your spouse is to be the most important person, the most important thing in your life, next to relationship with Jesus Christ. They are to be higher on your list of priorities than work, than your golf game, than shopping, than your parents. Sometimes it’s tough, hanging in there during the hard times. You married for better or worse, and you haven’t seen much better yet.
I’m reminded of the preacher who was visiting in a 4th grade Sunday School class one week. While visiting he asked the class, “Can anyone tell me what the Bible says about marriage?” One boy in the back raised his hand and quickly answered, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
A great marriage is built by God, it is built on love and commitment. That’s God’s plan for marriage, but notice if you will our response to marriage.
III. THE RESPONSE TO MARRIAGE
- Genesis 2:23
God said there was no suitable Help Meet found for man, so He created woman. And Adam was grateful for what God had given him. He said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”
You see, Adam realized that God had given him an incredible gift. He had given him someone like himself. God made her from Adam’s side. She wasn’t created from his head, that she might rule over him. She wasn’t created from his feet, that he might walk on her. But, she was created from his side, that she might walk with him as an equal, as a friend, as someone treasured and protected.
You know, many people today have forgotten that. They have forgotten the wonderful gift that God has given them in a spouse. They forget the loneliness, the wandering and searching they did, much like Adam, before they were given that gift.
I see so many couples today who take that gift for granted. Husbands who no longer spend time with their wives. They’re too busy doing their own thing. Wives who no longer try to please their husbands. They just assume that they’ll always be there.
Husbands, just because you’re married doesn’t mean the courting should stop. Take your lady out. Let her know how glad you are that God gave her to you. That means, don’t only shave when you’re leaving the house.
Women, remember how you worked to catch the guy you have? When was the last time you told him how glad you are that God brought him into your life? Have you quit fixing yourself up for him? Never take each other for granted.
*** Read Forever Yours ***
A few years ago my husband, Charlie, and I had some marital problems. Growing family responsibilities and financial worries took a toll on us, and we began arguing frequently, often late into the night. Even going out together for dinner was strained and full of forced conversation.
But neither of us could take the step that would end our 11-year marriage and bring heartbreak to our three young children. Deep down we knew we still loved each other, so we pledged to work it out.
The year that followed was hard. Charlie and I had grown neglectful about expressing ourselves, and for too long we had let small differences and disappointments build between us. We had stored up reserves of anger and resentment that pushed us apart. But through countless discussions and a lot of prayer, we began to close the gulf. Te more honest we were, the closer we became.
When I felt we were reaching solid ground, I asked my husband to give me an “eternity ring.” I had bought the advertising hype hook, line, and sinker: Show her you’d marry her all over again. It was not so much the ring I wanted; it was the reassurance I thought it would bring.
We went shopping on a beautiful summer day, my birthday. We left the kids with their grandparents and had a leisurely lunch before walking hand in hand along Jeweler’s Row in Philadelphia. Finally I found a ring I liked. While waiting for it to be adjusted, the jeweler took my left hand and peered at my engagement ring. “May I clean it for you?” he asked.
Charlie hunched over me and leaned on the glass case. “It really doesn’t sparkle like it used to,” he said. I slipped the ring off my finger.
A few minutes later the jeweler was back. The ring shown like new!
On the drive home, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I forgot all about the eternity ring. I just couldn’t believe how this old ring suddenly sparkled the way it had the day Charlie gave it to me. I had taken it for granted these past years, but with a little polish it could still make my heart beat fast.
And that’s the way it is with a marriage. You have to work at keeping it polished and new, or else the grime of the passing years will hide the joy. I put my hand on the seat between us and spread my fingers. Charlie covered my hand with his. As we pulled into the driveway, I said a prayer of thanks to God for helping me see the sparkle in something old when I thought I needed something new. (Anita M. Gogno, “Forever Yours,” in Guideposts, June 1994, p. 21)
