As we continue in Ephesians, today we look at the family life of Believers. I begin with a simple test to see how stressed family is for you. The top 1o signs of family stress:
10. "Family get togethers" are sometimes called "group therapy sessions" and involve seeing a psychiatrist.
9. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
8. Family members say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that they have said it before.
7. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated coffee.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. Family members say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that they have said it before.
2. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
1. You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-4: 1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.
2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise.
3 And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.”
4 And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.
In the Book, The Gift of Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent, they write: “What does it mean to honor your parents? We can see that if we will look at the word honor in the Scriptures. In Hebrew, the word for “honor” is kabed. This word literally means, “to be heavy, weighty, to honor.” Even today, we still link the idea of being heavy with honoring a person.
When the President of the United States or some other important person speaks, people often say that his words “carry a lot of weight.” Someone whose words are weighty is someone worthy of honor and respect. However, we can learn even more about what it means to honor someone by looking at its opposite in Scriptures.
… The literal meaning of the word “curse” (qalal) was “to make light, of little weight, to dishonor.” If we go back to our example above, if we dishonor a person we would say, “Their words carry little weight.” The contrast is striking!
When Paul tells us to honor our parents, he is telling us that they are worthy of high value and respect. In modern-day terms, we could call them a heavyweight in our lives! Just the opposite is true if we choose to dishonor our parents.
Some people treat their parents as if they are a layer of dust on a table. Dust weighs almost nothing and can be swept away with a brush of the hand. Dust is a nuisance and an eyesore that clouds any real beauty the table might have. Paul tells us that such an attitude should not be a part of how any child views his or her parents and for good reason. If we fail to honor our parents, we not only do what is wrong and dishonor God, but we also literally drain ourselves of life!”
From this text, we learn…
1. Children are to obey their parents. How many of you had an obedience problem growing up? Our sin nature hates the word, “obey.” Yet, Paul said it is the right thing to do.
Colossians 3:20 also makes the point, “Children, obey your parents for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”
How do we obey our parents? By honoring them, respecting them and never causing them pain. We have obedience training for dogs, perhaps we need if for people.
I read someone’s comments concerning what would happen if the dog were the obedience trainer, what we would learn:
“If a Dog were your teacher, you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a car ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
As you enjoy the wind in your face, do not restrict your capacity to drool.
When it’s in your best interest -- practice obedience.
Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily, if not by the minute.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the cool grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a tree.
When you take a drink of water, find a human to drip the extra on.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often or severely you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Don’t stop when you’ve had enough.
Be loyal.
Tolerate cats -- humans love that.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it, where ever that leads you.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.”
Some lessons there that not only apply to obedience, but to life. Children are to obey their parents, why?
2. Honoring parents comes with a promise.
We all like to be blessed, and by honoring our parents we are blessed with a long life full of blessings.
I was a rebellious youth, the only boy in a house with 6 sisters and at times a defiant problem for my parents. In elementary school I think the principal had my parents phone number on speed dial. Although I had acceptable grades, I was the class clown, always getting the wrong kind of attention it seemed. I can come up with all kinds of reasons for my behavior, it is easy to justify what we do. As I moved up into high school I saw the benefits of family. Having run away from home, and spending time in foster care, friends of my parents who turned me into the household slave, I reflected back on how good I had it, and like the prodigal son, returned home and got my act together. Today, I appreciate the decision I made because my parents are also good friends. In their twilight years I work hard to honor them and as a result I realize the blessings I have, primarily in being their son and sharing the moments of their lives. I told them the greatest inheritance I will ever receive from them is the opportunity to spend time with them. It is too bad, when we are younger, we don’t understand the value of honoring and the promise which comes with it. That is why I like the lesson from the dog “No matter how often or severely you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.” Later in life, our parents should be our friends as well as mom and dad. It is a choice as one of their children we make.
I realize not all of you came from a happy family environment, the key is, we do our part and the rest falls on the side of our parents, for Paul did not just command us to obey alone, he also pointed out to the primary infraction breaker, the fathers, thirdly…
3. Dad’s do not make your children angry.
This is not one sides, where children are lorded over and expected to be cast in the role of slavery. In fact, God has quite the opposite plan in mind. Slavery was the common servitude for children in that day. There were no child labor laws when Paul was writing, so from morning to night, children were put to tasks.
This also does not mean children should not be disciplined. Years ago the Duke of Windsor said, “Every in America is controlled by switches—except the children.” We read through Scripture what happens when discipline is not employed. Eli had two wayward sons, David son Absalom tried to overthrow his father, Isaac pampered Esau and his wife showed favoritism to Jacob. Things have not changed and our society is a reflection.
Proverbs 13:24 points out in the New Living Translation, “If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.”
This is not about abusing them. If children are in an abusive environment, they need to talk to someone who can help them, a pastor, a teacher, a principal, a family member whom they can trust, to help them. Children must be disciplined, and it must be done in love, with the concern for the child’s present and future well being.
Hebrews 12:5-13 comments, “And have you entirely forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his children? He said,
“My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don’t be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes those he accepts as his children.”7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Whoever heard of a child who was never disciplined? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children after all. 9 Since we respect our earthly fathers who disciplined us, should we not all the more cheerfully submit to the discipline of our heavenly Father and live forever?
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. 13 Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.”
If we learn discipline in the family, there may be less reason to learn discipline as a life experience from God since we would have received reasonable training as a child and youth.
William Barclay wrote: “Luther’s father was very strict, strict to the point of cruelty. Luther used to say: “Spare the rod and spoil the child—that is true; but beside the rod keep and apple to give him when he has done well.” Benjamin West tells how he became a painter. One day his mother went out leaving him in charge of his little sister Sally. In his mother’s absence he discovered some bottles of colored ink and began to paint Sally’s portrait. In doing so he made a considerable mess of things with ink blots all over. His mother came back. She saw the mess but said nothing. She picked up the piece of paper and saw the drawing. “Why,” she said, “it’s Sally!” and she stooped and kissed him. Ever after Benjamin West used to say: “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.” Encouragement did more than rebuke could ever do.”
Children and parents, we read in these four verses God’s truth on how we should live our lives as a family of believers. With knowledge comes responsibility and we are never too old that we cannot apply the truth to our lives.
PRAYER
