Oenver Milan 11-4-2005
Thank you Kevin for that song, “I won’t complain.” For it was the theme of your father’s life in his later years of life. If you’d asked him a number of years ago how he was doing, “ he would say, “I can’t complain.” If you’d have asked him when he first got sick, how you’re doing Milan, he would say “I can’t complain.” If you’d ask him a couple of years ago after he had become a double amputee how you doing Milan, he would have say, “I can’t complain.” If you’d ask him the same question, while in the hospital struggling for life itself, he would have found the breath to say, “I can’t complain.” Those were not the words of a super optimist. Those were the words of a man of faith who truly believed, in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purposes.
The Scriptures tell us Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 6your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
In other words, none of us just happened. We came into this world, having been put together by God to make a difference in the lives of others and to make a difference for God. It’s amazing the different ingredients God uses to put us together in our mother’s womb. God must have been thinking, I’ve got to put enough vivaciousness in him, to make him the life of the party. I’ve got to make him loud enough to wake up a sleeping church. I’ve got to make him friendly enough so that people will flock around him. I’ve got to give him enough insight to keep him vision oriented for the future. I’ve got to give him enough self-confidence and determination to be a risk taker.
I’ve got to pour in enough compassion, to make him a caring soul and a peacemaker. I’ve got to put in enough seriousness in him to let him be a straight shooter in his dealings with other. I’ve got to throw in the seeds of appreciation, that He might always be thankful not only for what He has, but for where He came from. I’ll throw a tiny amount patience, that will grow tremendously once he’s aged with wisdom. I’ll give him just enough stubbornness to keep others from walking over him. That should about do it. I’ll leave a touch of my spirit, that He might know he came from me and one day he’s to come back to me. Get ready world, here comes one of my special gifts to you.
We are all a gift from God to the rest of the world. Life is the process of opening that gift and using that gift to enrich the lives of others. Unfortunately, far too many of us think, that the gift is to be an end in and of itself. All efforts are directed back on the gift itself. Oenver Milan was a man who understood that life is not found in seeking to simply please one’s self. The more lives you touch, the more enjoyable life becomes. In a day and a time, when a good man may be hard to find, I want you to know there are still some good men and that Milan was one of them. He made some mistakes as a father, but he did his best to try to make up for them.
When Milan met Estelle, she had a son by the name of Michael. For some reason, Milan fell in love with this little boy. Mike said, “he became my dad, before he became my mother’s husband.” Milan made him feel special. Then came that day in the driveway, when the father who had left Michael, met the new father who had entered his life. Milan asked him, “do you mind if I adopt him? The answer to the question began one of the greatest love relationships that a father and a son could have. The adoption took place.
Men, Milan showed us that it’s possible to take the word step out of step son and out of step father, and just be known as father and son if you both want it. Milan even saw to it that they were matching outfits, so that when they went down the street together, people would say, “like father, like son.” Without Milan, Michael would not be the man of faith that he is today.
With Carmelita, he loved his little girl and didn’t mind spoiling her. Growing up, she wanted to be out in the yard with her dad. When the car broke down, she wanted to be under the hood trying to fix it with her dad. She learned about football, watching the game in the basement with her dad. Everything was going okay until she got to be a teenager. That’s when we Dad’s really notice that other guys are looking at our little girls.
All of a sudden, the answer to all of her request to go somewhere, were no, to do something was no, and to try something was no. She thought her dad had lost his mind and begged her mother not to leave her with him. Well she got through those teen years, and when she made it to college, she understood him a little better. She felt her dad went above and beyond in seeing her needs were taken care of through her college years. He was more than a father to her.
Milan’s love for his daughter Nita was unique and special all of its own. When he was ill and you were trying to discover if he was fully aware of his senses, you simply asked him a question about Nita. If he could tell you who Nita was, then you knew his mind was alright. Estelle would say, he might not remember who I was at times, but he sure remembered Nita.
Kevin, your banana pudding made his body fell good, and your eagerness to listen to his stories about the south did his soul a world of good. Sometimes as a man, there are things you want to say, but you just can’t find the words to express it. Kevin spoke of one of the last times he went to see his father in the hospital, and his father grabbed his hand and just would not let it go. That grip of love was no doubt Milan’s way of saying, “I love you son, and I want you to know just how proud I am of you.” Here was a man who loved his kids. Who provided for his kids. Mike described his father as a man who was “a great sacrifice.” He was a man who was willing to pour out, much more than he tried to take in.
Milan was a country boy from Mississippi, and he always loved going home. He loved going back to that little place in the middle of nowhere. He was crazy about his family. He loved his sisters and brothers. He especially loved his mother. Milan’s Mom knew how to make everybody feel loved and wanted, and she passed that trait on to her son. He loved his mother so much, that he broke one of the marriage rules by hiding a little secret from his wife. It seemed that each year, around Christmas time, Milan went to visit his mother. Estelle was happy to know that Milan enjoyed being with his Mom.
What she didn’t know was how Milan was able to pay for it. One day one of the RTA workers called around Christmas time, and innocently asked how they were going to spend their Christmas bonus. Estelle, said what bonus. The worker explained that each year they got a Christmas bonus. All I can say is that it’s a good thing Estelle was his wife and not some lady that knew Karate
Let me tell you about a great love story. There was this tall good looking black guy who could be the life of every party. The brother simply had charisma, and was always loud enough to be noticed. There was this astonishingly beautiful sister who somewhat quiet and shy. They first met, when he came over as a favor to a friend, to pick her and her cousin up to take them someplace. When he arrived and his eyes saw Estelle, and when Estelle saw him, absolutely nothing happened. But then there was a period afterwards in which nothing continued to happen.
When I asked Estelle, what was it that got her attention to Milan. She said, “well he was nice and friendly, but what really got my attention was the way he was always stuffing his shirt back down into the back of his pants.” If that’s not romantic, then I don’t know what is. He would have never guessed it in a thousand years. I wish I had learned how to stuff my pants from him before he died. When they finally did get together, Milan almost lost the treasure of a lifetime, but declaring to Estelle that she was too young for him. There was a whopping 6 years age difference.
But thank God, he did come back to his senses before it was too late. Estelle can’t remember how exactly he proposed, but she does remember having to think about it, because there were a couple of other prospects available at the time. Well she too came to her senses, and the two of them began journeying through life together as a team. For years they have traveled as one, changing and impacting the lives of others along the way. Both sides of the family came to realize that each had made a wonderful choice in choosing the other one.
Milan fully captured Estelle’s heart, and Estelle captured his. She appreciated his devotion to his family and how he was constantly looking ahead as a means to provide for them. At times it was a little scary, but she admired his ability to take risk. Milan had all kinds of financial dreams. He was quite the hustler at times, trying to sell Amway, Sasco, Ala Vero, and a number of other ventures. As a testimony to his visions, some of the supplies are still sitting in the basement.
Oenver and Estelle knew what it was like to have fun. They were entertainers. They were in societies and clubs. They were travelers. But even more important, they loved and they cared about each other. In our Men Who Excel group, Milan often boasted about he knew he had a good woman. I can still hear him saying, “naw, they don’t hardly make them like that anymore.” Estelle did accuse her husband of being cheap. The last time she told him he was stingy, he told her “well you ought to be happy because it’s all yours now.”
They worked together not only in the home but in the church as well. Their lives were an example of Jesus Christ making a difference in them as individuals as well as a couple. Together they taught their kids to be independent and they introduced them to God. Together they prayed to the point of seeing their kids actively serving the Lord in the church. They never let things become more important than people. They never left anyone feeling as though they were somehow beneath them. One of Milan’s saying, “was treat everybody right, you never know when you’re going to need someone.”
They held true to their vows in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Estelle, the love you have demonstrated to your husband these past few years has been at the heart of what commitment is all about. You stood by your husband, whether it was the nursing home, the hospital, the doctor’s office or wherever and spoke up when he could not speak for himself. You righteously and rightfully demanded that others treated him with dignity and respect wherever he was receiving care. You gave him the gift of your presence when it was easy and when it was not. Know that you were loved and appreciated by him. Thank you both for loving each other so much that heaven placed you as an example in our midst of a marriage to follow.
What made the difference in Oenver Milan, that sets him apart from so many fathers, so many husbands, and so many men today? It’s simple. He had enough vision to make his life want to count. One day he heard a voice that called him to die. I’m not talking about the death he had yesterday, but one that he heard a while back that said, if anyone wants to become my disciple, he must pick up his cross, deny himself and come follow me. Oenver Milan heard the call of Jesus Christ. He made a decision to give his life to follow after Jesus Christ. It was a decision of his heart and of his mind.
He gave much of his life to the work of the church. This church has been infected with the life and commitment of Oenver Milan. There was a time when he was the lone voice shouting “well and amen” during a sermon. Some wanted him to be quiet and more dignified in worship. But it was in his heart to praise God, and praise God is what he did. He gave of his best in the choir, even when he didn’t hit all the right notes. He was there with his presence to at least make the men look good up front.
He gave us wise counsel when he served as both an elder and a deacon in the leadership of our church. He was always on the side of the underdog. His used his votes to keep moving the church ahead. He and his wife have fully supported the work of the church financially. He didn’t just talk tithing, he practiced it. Whatever project that needed funding in the last 16 years since we have been here, the Milan’s have been at the forefront in terms of sacrificing financially to make things happen. God’s not going to have to ask him, why he didn’t give more. He was a true team player in every sense of the word. He was eager to learn the word of God. He was a man that knew that Bible Study was important if you were going to mature as a Christian.
Some men retire, and spend the rest of their lives just resting and playing golf. Milan retired and spent the rest of his life impacting the lives of others and giving of himself to the ministry. You can look in any direction and see some of what he’s done. When we first got here, our church really needed a lot of repairs. God blessed Pastor Toby and I with a group called the three amigo’s other wise called the three musqueteers. They were Lloyd Simmons, Eugene Thomas, and Oenver Milan. These three were ready to work at a moments notice to get a project done.
They let me become an insider in the group, and we became the four horsemen of Glenville. It was one of the best periods of my life in terms of friendship and comrade with other men. Eugene Thomas had the vision of what needed to be done, Lloyd came up with the Strategy to do it, Milan was the peacemaker working out Gene’s visioin and Lloyd’s strategy, and I was simply the do this and go get that man. We had a riot laughing at and with each other while doing some work. Together we organized the rest of the men and the church for remodeling much of the sanctuary, the upstairs, the fellowship hall, and the ceiling.
Milan gave of himself until he just could not give anymore physically. There he was lying in bed with both of his legs gone, apologizing to me that he was sorry he couldn’t be at the church to help out anymore. I kept trying to tell him that he had already done more than his share. Yet I knew in his heart he still wanted to do more. He loved God, he loved the people of this church, and he loved the church itself. He always wanted to know “What’s that Pastor Rick up to now.”
When Estelle would tell him about different people asking about him, he would say, “everbdody loves ole Milan.” One thing he didn’t like was women kissing him on the forehead. The only person he would allow to do it was Pastor Toby. When asked why she got to do it, if he didn’t like it he responded, “It don’t matter, she’s going to do it anyways. That’s just how she is.” Milan knew how to accept people just as they are.
Oenver Milan has left behind a legacy of ordained days and has gone home to be with Jesus Christ. You may think, with all the joy and laugher he brought into the lives of his family and friends, and with all the love and commitment he gave to his wife, children, and grandchildren, that Oenver certainly deserves to go to heaven
But if could speak to us today, he would say that’s not quite true. You see, according to the Bible, none of us deserves to go to heaven. Did you know that according to Jesus, most people will not go to heaven?
Jesus said in , Mat 7:13 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Entering into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to enter that narrow gate. All you have to do is to admit, "God, I have done a lot of things I should not have done. I realize I cannot pay for all that I have done. I ask you for forgiveness. I accept that when Jesus Christ died on the cross, He being holy and righteous, paid the penalty for my sin. I invite him to come into my life and take control of it." Milan made that decision years ago and has not regretted it since.
You will make numerous decisions in your life between your birth and your death. But the only decision that will still be personally affecting you a 1000 years from today, is what did you do with Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches there will certainly be a resurrection of everybody from the dead, and then comes the judgment of God.
Oenver Milan is prepared for that Judgment. Like the Apostle Paul she can say, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
We may say of Oenver Milan , that he was my friend, he was my uncle, he was my brother, he was my father, or he was my husband, but the greatest truth of them all is that Oenver Milan is and forever will be a a child of God who has now completely returned to God. For those of us who die without knowing Jesus Christ. Oenver Milan will only be a memory, a very good and loving memory. But for those of us who do know Jesus Christ, Oenver Milan. is simply waiting to meet us on the other side.
For the Bible clearly teaches,
1 Th 4:13 Brothers and sisters , we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men and women, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
