Matthew 1:18-25 – Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Today we are continuing our series on fear. Four times in the Christmas story, someone is told not to be afraid. Today we are looking at the story of Joseph from Matthew 1:18-25.
Now, there is a lot said about Mary, the topic of last week’s message. There isn’t so much on Joseph, though. But that’s too bad, because he was a good man put into a difficult situation.
He was engaged to Mary. An engagement was a binding commitment, which could only be broken by divorce. They would soon be married, but they were not married yet.
So a real problem for Joseph arose when Mary came to him and told him that she was going to have a baby. Well, Joseph knew that the baby was not his. Of course Mary told him that she had not been unfaithful. Of course she told him that an angel came to visit her and told her that she would have a baby by supernatural means. Of course Mary told Joseph that the baby inside her was not from another man, but from the Holy Spirit. She was carrying the Messiah inside her womb.
I have no doubt about these, and I have no doubt what Joseph thought at that moment. “Yeah, sure. Sure you’re carrying the Messiah. Sure you are a one-in-a-million miracle mommy.” I mean, what would he think? What would you think if someone told you she was pregnant, and it was God’s?
Now, the problem here is that Joseph had a dilemma on his hands. Let me read a couple of OT verses to you. Deuteronomy 22:22 – “If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.”
And then there’s the verse right before this one, describing a man who turns against his new wife because he believes that she has been unfaithful before marriage – “If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.”
So here were Joseph’s options upon finding out that Mary was pregnant, and the baby wasn’t his. 1) He could confess that he was not the father. Then, Mary would be condemned as an adulteress. 2) He could lie and claim to be the father. Then, the reputations of everybody involved would be tarnished, and the qualifications of Jesus as Messiah would be null and void.
This was Joseph’s problem. He did not know what to do. He did not want to lose Mary, but he also knew what he was supposed to do in that situation. He felt that his hands were tied. He felt, likely, as we all do sometimes, that whatever we do will be the wrong decision. If we do nothing, that will be wrong. But what our options are don’t seem any better, either. Whatever choice we make, whatever decision we lean towards, whatever step we take – it will be the wrong one.
I think this is the real reason that the angel told him not to be afraid. He was afraid of how things looked, because things looked pretty grim. There are times in our own lives, as well, when things look pretty bleak. There are times that we feel we don’t really have any good choices to choose from. There are times when we feel like giving in, when we want to just throw up our hands in defeat.
There are times when, like Joseph, the right decision looks so bad. Joseph was a righteous man. That means that he wanted to follow the OT law of justice. But he was also filled with love for Mary, and after all – love is part of what righteousness is all about. So his sense of justice and his sense of mercy were facing off against each other.
We get that way. We want to love that person. We want to forgive them for all they’ve ever done to us. We want to show compassion and mercy and give them another chance. But then there’s that feeling of, “But if we let them get away with this, what else will they do?” I wonder if Joseph thought that maybe Mary would again be unfaithful to him. I wonder if he was afraid that by forgiving Mary for the 1st offense, she would take advantage of that and be unfaithful later.
That, of course, is the scandal of grace. By not making people pay for their sins and by giving forgiveness so freely, people sometimes tend to take advantage of the generosity and keep doing what they were doing. That’s the problem of grace, but that’s still how God does it.
So Joseph was afraid of how things looked. They looked bad. They looked scandalous. They looked no-way-out. But the truth is, sometimes things are not always how they look. Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.
Maybe you’ve heard about the driver who was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car.
"What are those for?" she asked suspiciously.
"I’m a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act."
The officer wanted to be sure, so he said, "Well then, please step out of the car and show me."
So the driver got out with the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.
Just then, another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "Oh my goodness. I have got to give up drinking! Look at the tests they’re giving now."
You see, it looked to Joseph that Mary had been unfaithful, but he was wrong. It looked to Joseph that he could never be with Mary, but he was wrong. It looked to Joseph that they would never get through this mess, but he was wrong. "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."
Joseph and Mary were not nearly in a mess as bad as he had thought. Mary was not unfaithful. She was telling the truth. The baby inside her was not from a man, but from the Holy Spirit.
And it turns out that the religious leaders either overlooked things or didn’t notice things. After all, Mary and Joseph moved around a little, and maybe they escaped the public eye because of it. Either way, the only person who wanted them to die was not a religious leader, but King Herod, who was actually more interested in killing the newborn king, anyway.
I’d like to pause here for a minute. There are 4 specific times mentioned in the Bible that Joseph received direction from the Lord. The 1st was the announcement of Mary’s pregnancy. It was in a dream. The 2nd was after the wise men came from the east, and after Jesus’ 8 day dedication to the Lord. An angel of the Lord told Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and run away to Egypt to escape King Herod. This too was in a dream.
The 3rd time was another visit by the angel of the Lord, telling him to go back to Israel, because Herod was dead. This was also a dream. And the 4th time was in deciding where to live. Joseph was warned that Herod’s son was ruling in the district of Judea, so Joseph settled in the district of Galilee. This too was a dream.
Four times Joseph received specific instructions, and all 4 were in dreams. Now, God didn’t always speak to people in dreams. God used a talking bush and a talking donkey. He used a pillar of cloud, a pillar of fire, and fire from heaven. He used prophets and angels, writing on the wall and writing in the sand.
The point is that God speaks to different people in different ways. He may speak to you through prayer. He may speak to you through music. He may speak to you through His Word. He may speak to you through other people giving biblical advice. But the point is, you have to figure out how God wants to speak to you. He may speak to you through dreams, and he may not, but I don’t recommend just sleeping all day, waiting for it to happen. Look at your life, and figure out when you hear God the clearest. And expose yourself to that as much as you can.
Now, getting back to Joseph, he had to cast away his fear of how things looked. The problem with going by appearances, with only how things look, is that sometimes things are not as they look. That’s why Romans 4:17 describes God as One “calls things that are not as though they were.” That means God sees things better than you do. He sees the end, whereas you only see the now, and even then just a portion of it. He sees what hasn’t even happened yet, and He speaks of it as if it already has.
So the situation you’re in now may look pretty bleak, but there’s more than what you see. More goes on than what you know. In 2 Kings, the prophet Elisha and his servant woke up in a valley, circled by the enemy. Things looked bleak, but Elisha said that things were not so bad. It wasn’t just plain optimistic thinking. No, turns out, the hills were filled with invisible horses and chariots of fire, all serving the Lord, ready to destroy the enemy. And Elisha said to his servant, "Don’t be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Again, there’s more than what you see and what you think you know.
So don’t be afraid of how things look for you. Don’t be afraid that things are beyond hope. Don’t be afraid that nothing good can come from what you’re going through. I’m not going to tell you that no harm will come, or that the thing you fear the most will not happen. I’m not saying that your life will be pain-free. I’m saying that God knows more about your situation than you do. I’m saying that He has not given up hope. I’m saying that where there’s a shadow, there’s a light.
So don’t be afraid. Trust God that He will bring healing into your pain. Trust God that He will bring you comfort into your hurts and loneliness. Trust God that your grief will not be wasted in God’s plans. And trust God to move in ways that you just can’t see yet.
