Summary: God is concerned not just with your body, but your mind. Let’s look at breaking the sexual addiction that many people have just in their mind! *HANDOUT INCLUDED*

For a CD of over 100 of sermons by Darrell Stetler II (most complete with handouts), please e-mail darrellstetler2@sbcglobal.net.

"You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

"You have heard that it was said, ’YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27-30 (NAS)

Facts facts you need to remember about adultery:

1. Adultery is not just the act – it’s also “looking with lust.”

“You have heard that it was said, ’YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matthew 5:28 (NAS)

George Jones wrote in one song, “We’re not exactly strangers you and I, because I’ve already loved you in my mind.”

3. Adultery in the mind is just as serious to God.

“...the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)

Mental adultery is serious because it sinful.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...” Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

You might say, “I’ve never been unfaithful.” If you’re unfaithful in your mind, God says THAT’S what you’re really like. It’s not about how others view you, it’s about what God sees inside of you.

Just as adultery is sinful, so is mental adultery. Sin always separates us from God. Living in sin, instead of confessing and forsaking it will separate you from God, and destroy your relationship with Him. And people without a right relationship with God wind up in hell. . . you cannot get into heaven if you don’t have a relationship with God.

Let’s look at it from a spiritual standpoint.

You have a sworn enemy who you can’t see. His name is Satan, and the Bible says he is “like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” He’d love nothing better than to break up your marriage by sleeping around, and break your spouse and children’s hearts.

But adultery starts way before you hop into bed with someone you’re not married to. Jesus makes this very clear!

So long before an act of adultery, Satan is already attacking you. He’d like to get you to lust in your heart after a woman – and he can do that anywhere. At the mall. . . at work. . . on TV. . . in a movie. . . in a magazine. . . he will see to it that plenty of women pass by, wearing too little, too tight.

Mental adultery is serious because it is addictive.

How do things like this come about? Let’s look at it from two viewpoints.

First from the scientific standpoint. The body produces a hormone called adrenaline. When a person feels in danger, stressed or excited adrenaline is used by the body for a short time. This sometimes gives “super” power to an otherwise weak person. This is a normal function of the body, but this use of adrenaline is something that the body begins

to crave and becomes, in a scenic, habit forming. If you were to ask a race car driver why they drive their cars at the point of loosing control, they would tell you that they were just having fun. This “fun” as they call it, is the bodies craving for the “adrenaline rush” which gives the person a good or calm feeling.

This is basically what a person, who views pornographic material, does to their bodies. They get that “feeling good” caused by the adrenaline flow caused by excitement. This craving of the body makes the person’s desire for more, somewhat uncontrollable.

This addiction will make you a prisoner of your own making!

Prisoner of his appetite. Thomas Costain’s history, The Three Edwards, describes the life of Raynald III, a fourteenth-century duke in what is now Belgium. Grossly overweight, Raynald was commonly called by his Latin nickname, Crassus, which means "fat." After a violent quarrel, Raynald’s younger brother Edward led a successful revolt against him. Edward captured Raynald but did not kill him. Instead, he built a room around Raynald in the Nieuwkerk castle and promised him he could regain his title and property as soon as he was able to leave the room. This would not have been difficult for most people since the room had several windows and a door of near-normal size, and none was locked or barred. The problem was Raynald’s size he couldn’t fit through the door. To regain his freedom, he needed to lose weight. But Edward knew his older brother, and each day he sent a variety of delicious foods. Everyday he wheeled before Raynald on a cart, the tastiest foods. But instead of dieting his way out of prison, Raynald grew fatter from the food. When Duke Edward was accused of cruelty, he had a ready answer: "My brother is not a prisoner. He may leave when he so wills." Raynald stayed in that room for ten years and wasn’t released until after Edward died in battle. By then his health was so ruined he died within a year, a prisoner of his own appetite.

Mental adultery is serious because it is progressive.

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NAS)

Let me introduce you to something about humans. It’s called the “Law of Diminishing Returns”. . . what that means is that what used to be enough to make you excited, after a few times will not be any longer. It gets old and boring. So you need more to get the same rush.

This is true with drugs, alcohol. . . it’s also true with sexual things.

If it is allowed to continue, what has been only in the mind will start coming out more and more. It starts with viewing a few pictures, moves into viewing short film clips, on to viewing X-rated movies, and then to “porno” movies. If it only stoped there. Many move on to calling 900 phone numbers, sexual relationships, child molestation, incest, rape. . . If you think that this is reaching for extremes, just look up some court cases and see for yourself.

But like I said last week, let’s leave the negative. Let’s go positive – how can we win this battle?

But let’s talk about how to win this battle. Jesus tells us:

Get a “whatever it takes to win” attitude.

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27-30 (NAS)

WOW! What a dramatic solution. Does he really mean this?

Jesus is saying, “If you want to follow me into freedom from sexual sin, you’re going to have to have an attitude that says, ‘ANYTHING it takes to defeat Satan’s plan for my mind, I’ll do it!’” In fact, the right hand and the right eye (in most of us) are the strongest, and the most necessary. I can’t do ANYTHING with my left! But Jesus says, that’s a worthwhile sacrifice if that’s what it takes to win the battle in your mind!

If you’ve always had a casual attitude toward sin, let me tell you how to get this “anything it takes” attitude: Realize what’s at stake.

Heaven and hell are at stake.

Your marriage is at stake.

Your family is at stake.

Your happiness is at stake.

Nothing is worth going to hell over. NOTHING.

Not a glossy picture of a centerfold, not a lustful look at a girl who is dressed immodestly, not a one-night stand. . . NOTHING.

Here’s how that attitude works itself out:

1. Get rid of anything that makes temptation overwhelming.

“...do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.”

Matthew 6:13 (NKJV)

Jesus is saying “Stay away from the edge. Get rid of whatever it is that drives you to sin!”

The people of a certain town had a cliff at the edge of town that people and kids kept falling off. They’d be out playing, and wander too close to it, and fall! So they had a town meeting, and several people stood up. “We need to pay to keep a couple ambulance drivers at the bottom of that cliff at all times.” Lots of people voiced their agreement. . .but finally someone stood up and said, “wouldn’t it be better to just build a fence?”

You need to build fences in relationships you have. Don’t let it happen. . . long looks, little pats, a gentle squeeze of your arm, a meaningful glance, a lingering gaze, a quick hug, a short embrace, and eventually you have been led down a path you never intended to walk.

It might be something you read or watch that needs to go to have a fence between you and temptation.

I heard about a man who decided he was going to go on a diet and so he cut out sweets. He did pretty good until one day he arrived at his office with a huge coffee cake in his hand. It was not just any coffee cake, it was oozing with icing and nuts. “I thought you were on a diet,” one of his co-workers asked. “Oh this is different,” replied the man. “You see this morning, I was driving by the bakery and I said to God, ‘God if you want me to stop please allow there to be a parking spot in front of the bakery.’ And sure enough, my seventh time around there was a spot.”

2. Keep the home fires burning hot.

“Drink water from your own well -- share your love only with your wife. . . Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:15, 18-19 (NLT)

If you’re married, lust is a great gift! Feed it. . . be willing to do anything to preserve it. Wear his favorite lingerie, don’t cut him down with your words, know what turns him on. . .

Guys, I’m a long ways from the perfect husband, but I think we know what it takes. . . Guys, take pains to be romantic and make it HOT! Do whatever you have to do to be desirable – take a shower, wear cologne, get her roses, send her a card, call her from work just to say, “I love you and can’t wait to get home.” . . . anything.

3. Listen to your spouse.

She’s got a sixth sense that tells her when another woman is trying to get on her property. Don’t write it off as jealousy. Take it

4. Immediately tell on someone who comes on to you.

Squeal. Rat. Tattle. . . don’t wait to see if it happens again. You and your spouse are both in this marriage together, and you’d better do your best to protect it. Enlist their help.

Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve flirted with your spouse, or been flirted with. But no matter how enjoyable it seems, get over it! Tell on them before the sun goes down, and ask your spouse to help you stay out of it.

5. Be accountable to someone for this area.

“Two are better than one. . . For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)

I personally have someone that I meet with on occasion. If I’m being tempted in this area, I will give this person a call and say, “Pray for me, I’m really facing some temptation right now.”

Sometimes we get together over lunch, and share what God is doing in our lives.

6. Fill your mind with the right thoughts.

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

“Don’t think of pink elephants.” What did you just think about?

If you spend your time ONLY fighting and trying to keep lustful thoughts OUT of your mind, you’ll fail.

Instead, get really fascinated with God. Think about Him. When you find those thoughts invading your mind, choose to think about your wife! That’s filling your mind with the pure, lovely and admirable!

Try memorizing a Scripture that focuses you on God, and then quote it and think about it whenever you’re tempted.

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HANDOUT

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God’s Plan for Sex - continued..."You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

Jesus expanded on this commandment by telling us what God meant:

1. Adultery is not just the act – it’s also “___________ _______ _______.”

“You have heard that it was said, ’YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 (NAS)

2. Adultery in the mind is just as _______________ to God.

“...the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)

* Mental adultery is serious because it ______________.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...” Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

* Mental adultery is serious because it is ______________.

The physical reason: Arousal causes our body to use the hormone _____________________. Our body starts to crave that “high.”

* Mental adultery is serious because it is ______________.

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NAS)

Let’s talk about how to win this battle. Jesus tells us:

Get a “__________________________ to win” attitude.

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27-30 (NAS)

How to get that attitude: Realize what’s at stake.

- ______________ and ________ - Your _____________

- Your _____________ - Your ______________

Here’s how that attitude works itself out:

1. Get rid of anything that makes _________ ___________.

“...do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.”

Matthew 6:13 (NKJV)

2. Keep the _______________________________.

“Drink water from your own well -- share your love only with your wife. . . Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:15, 18-19 (NLT)

3. Listen to your _____________.

4. Immediately ______ ___ someone who comes on to you.

5. Be _____________________ to someone for this area.

“Two are better than one. . . For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)

6. Fill your mind with the _________________.

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 (NLT)