The Heartbreak of Frustration
Scripture: I Corinthians 6:19
Theme: When our hearts are broken by frustration, God will use that pain to teach us faithfulness,
brokenness and perseverance, shaping us into what he wants us to be so that he can use
us for His glory.
Seed: Devotional by Oswald Chambers
Purpose: To help the congregation understand that God is faithful to us and even though situations
and people in life may frustrate us; God will use the pain of our frustration to teach us
patience, obedience and faithfulness so that we may be more fully made in the image of
Christ.
Series: Thank God for Broken Hearts
Introduction: Frustration. The word “frustrate” means; To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire. Let’s face it, frustration can be…well…frustrating. No one likes to be prevented from accomplishing a purpose. None of us want to be prevented from fulfilling a desire. Our desires, our purpose help define who we are and when we cannot achieve them we feel empty, hurt and broken. In short, frustration can break our hearts.
This week I’m concluding the series of messages entitled “Thank God for Broken Hearts.” Over the past two weeks we’ve seen how God can take the pain of disappointment and the pain of abandonment and use them to shape us so that we can be used by Him.
We don’t like pain, we don’t like broken hearts and often we wonder why God would even allow such pain into our lives if he loves us. But the fact is that God is not as concerned about your comfort as much as he is concerned about our character. And our character is best shaped through the painful circumstances of life. C.S. Lewis once said that “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” God loves us so much that he is willing to allow us to endure the pain of a broken heart in order that we might become more than we currently are.
As I’ve said for the past two weeks. Our pain is not our own. Our broken hearts are not about us. We have a tendency to believe that our pain is our own, that it’s about us. But if we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior then our pain is not our own.
I mentioned Oswald Chambers’ remarks two weeks ago, but let me revisit them for a moment. He puts it like this.
“There is no such thing as a private life for a man or woman who is brought into fellowship with Jesus Christ’s sufferings. God breaks up the private life of His saints and makes it a thoroughfare for the world on the one hand and for Himself on the other”
The Apostle Paul, in the book of first Corinthians states it this way,
”You do not belong to yourself”
I Corinthians 6:19b (NLT)
Your pain is not your own. God uses our pain, our broken hearts, for the good of others. He uses our pain so that we may be a part of his plan for redeeming this fallen world. The pain of disappointment is not yours alone. Moses discovered that. The pain of abandonment is not yours alone. Joseph discovered that. And the pain of frustration is not yours alone either. David discovered that truth.
Today, as we explore the heartbreak of frustration, we are going to explore the life of David. David was one of the greatest kings Israel ever knew. David was considered to be a man after God’s own heart – God said that, not David. But David’s life was full of frustration. David understood what it meant to have your heart broken by frustrating circumstances and frustrating people.
Let’s take a look at David’s life and see what lessons we can learn in frustration. Let’s see what we can thank God for the broken heart of frustration.
[Tell David’s Story Here]
• David was anointed by the Prophet Samuel to replace Saul as king of Israel. David is a young man…in his late teens
• David is summoned by Saul (who doesn’t know David has been anointed to replace him) to play music for him and calm his troubled mind
• David goes to visit his brothers in the army and fights Goliath
• David is made a national hero and becomes a part of Saul’s royal court. David and Saul’s son Jonathon become close friends…a friendship that will last for the rest of Jonathon’s life.
• Saul becomes jealous of David’s popularity and attempts to take David’s life.
• David is forced to flee from Saul to save his life.
• David is invited back by Saul, but again Saul tries to kill him.
• Jonathon gives David information about his father’s plans that saves David’s life.
• David must live in the wilderness and hide from Saul and his army to stay alive.
• David begins to draw the disillusioned to him and thus he begins to lead a small army of about 400 to 600 men.
• David is offended by Nabal and sets out to kill him, but Abigail intervenes. David Marries Abigail after Nabal’s death.
• David has two opportunities to kill Saul (once in a cave, once while Saul is sleeping in his camp with his spear and water jug by his head) but David spares Saul’s life
• Eventually Saul and Jonathon are killed in battle against Israel’s enemies and David is made king of Israel
David was a man who was well acquainted with the heart break of frustration. David experienced a lot of frustration in his life, but in his frustration he was mold more fully into the image of God. He was made a man after God’s own heart. Let’s explore some of the lessons David learned through the broken heart of frustration. In these lessons we’ll see that we can thank God for broken hearts, even the broken heart of frustration.
In frustration, David learned…
• … LOYALTY, to God and others.
As Saul is hunting down David he asks the priest Ahimelech why he has aided David. Ahimelech’s reply is…
Your Majesty, none of your officers is more loyal than David!
I Samuel 22:14a (CEV)
David remained loyal to Saul year after year while Saul hunted him down and tried kill him.
On at least two occasions, David had the opportunity to kill Saul, the man who was hunting him down. Twice it looked as if God had delivered Saul right into David’s hands, and yet on both occasions David refused to take Saul’s life because David was a man who was loyal to God and to others.
The LORD rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness. The LORD delivered you into my hands today, but I would not lay a hand on the LORD’s anointed
I Samuel 26:23 (NIV)
Key Word: FAITHFULNESS
When I say faithfulness, I don’t simply mean being faithful to an individual or even maintaining an allegiance to God. When I refer to faithfulness I mean that we remain faithful to God and his plan. We seek to carry out God’s plan and we trust him and the actions he has taken before us.
David would have proven unfaithful to God if he had taken Saul’s life when given the opportunity. God had anointed Saul as the king of Israel and David trusted God enough to know that God would remove Saul in the right time. Even though God had rejected Saul as king due to Saul’s rebellion, even though God had anointed David to be the king that would replace Saul, David was willing to wait and let God do things in his own time. In the meantime, David would remain faithful to God by honoring God’s appointed leader and remaining loyal to Saul as king.
As David remained loyal to those God had anointed, he witnessed the loyalty of others and he witnessed God’s loyalty to him.
• David remained faithful to Jonathon
• Jonathon remained faithful to David
• David witnessed Abigail’s loyalty to her husband
• David witnessed his men’s loyalty to him
Through all of his trials and his frustration, David remained loyal to God. He trusted Gold and he stayed faithful to God’s plan for his life and for the nation of Israel.
Through the broken heart of frustration, David also learned that God is always faithful to us. As we read through the Psalms, most of which were written by David, we see his praise offered to God for His unfailing faithfulness
The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all those who keep his covenant and obey his decrees
Psalm 25:10 (NLT)
For the word of the LORD holds true,
and everything he does is worthy of our trust.
Psalm 33:4 (NLT)
O Lord, Your loving-kindness goes to the heavens. You are as faithful as the sky is high
Psalm 36:5 (NLV)
Frustration can break our hearts. But in frustration we learn the power of loyalty. In our frustration, if we are loyal to others, even to those who don’t deserve our loyalty, God will reward us.
We also see in the midst of our frustration that God is eternally faithful to us. I don’t know what frustrations you are facing in life right now. (Financial, spiritual, marriage, other relationship, etc.) But I do know that when your heart breaks from frustration we can thank God anyway because in it he shows us the value of our faithfulness to him and to others and the reality of his undying faithfulness to us.
The broken heart of frustration also taught David…
• …DEPENDENCE upon God and others.
Time and time again David found himself being dependent upon others.
• David had to depend upon Jonathon to give him information so that he could flee in safety.
• He depended upon Abigail, (even though he didn’t know it at the time) to prevent him from committing senseless murder.
Perhaps one of the greatest episodes of David’s dependence upon others is when David has to ask Ahimelech, the priest, for food and for a sword.
Even though he was anointed as the future king of Israel and even though he led hundreds of men, David still had to depend upon others.
David could not become the king on his own. David could not even stay alive on his own. He had to depend upon others. And in so doing he chose to depend upon God because God was actively using others to guide and protect David. However, that only worked because David was willing to depend upon strength other than his own.
Key Word: BROKENNESS
Unfortunately for most of us, we will never depend upon others until we are broken enough to realize that we cannot do it alone.
Too often we think we have all the answers. We think we can take care of our problems alone. And often, when faced with the heartbreak of frustration, rather than seek out others to help us, we bang our head against the wall and insist on fighting through believing we are capable of resolving the situation on our own. And in the end we find ourselves broken.
That brokenness is where God wants us to be because in our brokenness he draws near to us.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:17 (NIV)
When our frustration breaks us, we can take that broken heart to God and he will begin to heal it. He will show us that we must depend upon one another to become all that he has designed us to become.
When we reject the help of others we are also rejecting God, and ultimately He is the one we must depend upon.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Psalm 62:7 (NIV)
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Psalm 20:7 (NIV)
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 28:7 (NIV)
I don’t know what frustrating situations you are dealing with right now. I don’t know what kind of frustration you are experiencing with people. But I do know this. You can’t solve it on your own. You must learn to be broken. You must learn to depend upon others and upon God to help resolve your frustration.
David learned that he had to depend upon others and upon God to survive and lead.
When frustration breaks my heart, I can thank God because in it he is teaching me to depend upon others and depend upon him so that I may be more than I am today.
The broken heart of frustration also taught David…
• … PATIENCE with God and with others.
David was anointed to be the next king of Israel when he is in his late teens, but he does not become the king until he reaches the age of 30. For more than ten years David has to deal with the frustration of knowing he has been chosen by God, but not being able to assume that role. It’s a period of time in which God is teaching David to have patience.
One of the greatest ways to learn patience is through frustration. So often we want God to give us patience and we want him to give it to us NOW! But patience isn’t given. Patience is learned through experience and through the heartbreak of frustration.
For more than a decade David was hunted like an animal. He lived in caves, he slept in the open field, he lived in exile in the neighboring country, he did whatever was necessary to survive but he never tried to take the throne from Saul. Even when he was presented, on two occasions, with opportunity to take Saul’s life he remained patient and waited for God to move.
David’s frustration led to David becoming a man of patience.
Key Word: PERSEVERANCE
When our hearts are broken due to extreme frustration we must learn to persevere. Perseverance is defined as: Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.
Regardless of the frustrations we face, if we will persevere – with the help of God (dependence) – we will begin to develop patience.
Patience is a trait that every follower of Jesus Christ is to be developing. As we are shaped more and more in his image, patience becomes a virtue that we possess.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
An interesting thing about patience is this; When you respond properly to frustration, you learn patience and as you learn patience, you will become less susceptible to frustration. Learning patience helps us to overcome the heartbreak of frustration.
I don’t know what frustrations you are facing in life, but if you will persevere in them, God will begin to build patience into your character. You can thank God for the broken heart of frustration because it will produce true patience in you.
Conclusion: Frustration is a part of life. People will frustrate you, world events will frustrate you, your own circumstances will frustrate you, and you will even frustrate yourself. Frustration can break your heart. But when your heart is broken you can thank God because through that pain he will shape you, teaching you patience, dependence and loyalty.
Through the pain of frustration he will shape you into the person he wants you to be so that you can be used to bless the lives of others and bring glory to God.
Over the past three weeks I’ve talked about expressing thanks for some tough things.
• Thanks for disappointment
• Thanks for abandonment
• Thanks for frustration
When our hearts are broken by these things we can let it destroy us and make us bitter or we can thank God and ask him to use our broken hearts to make us more like him. As we enter this Thanksgiving week, let me encourage you to give thanks to God for all that is good in your life. But don’t forget to thank God for broken
