The Heartbreak of Disappointment
Scripture: I Corinthians 6:19 Exodus 2 & 3
Theme: Sometimes God allows us to be disappointed so that he can shape us and prepare us for
the tasks to which he has called us.
Seed: Devotional by Oswald Chambers
Purpose: To help the congregation realize that God wants to use their disappointments to shape
them and prepare them for greater service to Him.
Series: Thank God For Broken Hearts
Introduction: A broken heart. Few things are more painful than a broken heart. A man can die from a broken heart even though there is nothing physically wrong with him. Broken hearts are all around us and though we may try to downplay them, the truth is that a broken heart can and often does devastate us.
If broken hearts are so painful, so devastating, why then am I talking about being thankful for broken hearts? Why is the pain of a broken heart something to thank God for? Well, as I’ve said before, “God never wastes a hurt.” I’ve heard it said before that “Those who God uses greatly, he hurts deeply.”
God will take our broken hearts and use them to shape us so that we can do what he has called us to do. Sometimes God has to break our hearts so that he can use us in the way he needs to.
But we often so self-absorbed that we assume our heartaches are about us, when usually they are not. Oswald Chambers puts it like this.
“There is no such thing as a private life for a man or woman who is brought into fellowship with Jesus Christ’s sufferings. God breaks up the private life of His saints and makes it a thoroughfare for the world on the one hand and for Himself on the other”
We need to remember that,
”You do not belong to yourself”
I Corinthians 6:19b (NLT)
Often our heart breaks are so that God can shape us and use us in the lives of others. For that reason alone we should be thankful for broken hearts.
For the next few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I want to explore the fact that we should be thankful for broken hearts. There are many ways in which our hearts are broken. Often they are broken because we are the innocent victims of the evil whims of others. At times they are broken because we have made poor choices or have lived in disobedience. Mostly it is some combination of the two.
For the next three weeks I want to explore three specific heartbreaks that we can thank God for because in them he is reshaping us so that he may use us more fully.
Today I want to look at the heartbreak of disappointment. Disappointment has a way of breaking our hearts. I’m not talking about being mildly disappointed because something didn’t go our way. I’m talking about that crushing blow that sucks the air out of our lungs and leaves us wondering what just happened.
The disappointment of a child that dies in infancy.
The disappointment of a wife that just walked out on us.
The disappointment of a career lost due to downsizing.
The big hitters of disappointment can crush us and break our hearts into a million pieces. But in the midst of our disappointment, God is working. One of the greatest stories of disappointment of all time is the story of Moses. He was a man that was destined for greatness but found disappointment instead. A young man, primed for leadership he lost everything he had and was relegated to a life of being forgotten for forty years. Let’s explore the life of Moses and discover how and why we can thank God for the broken heart that comes from disappointment.
Historical Background: How the Hebrew people came to be in Egypt
How Pharaoh feared them as God blessed them
Pharaoh’s command to kill all Hebrew male babies
The Story of Moses
Moses was born to a young Hebrew couple. His mother, as any loving mother would, refused to kill him as Pharaoh had commanded. Instead, she hid him. When he was too old to remain hidden, she wove together a basket and waterproofed it and placed it in the reeds along the Nile River. She didn’t leave him alone though, she had her daughter, Moses’ big sister, go down to the river to keep watch on the baby.
She was a wise woman. She knew that this would be a safe place to hider her son. The current along the edge of the river was non-existent and the tall reeds would hide the basket making it virtually invisible. However, the reeds along the shore could not hide the cries of a baby. And here is where, in my opinion, the wisdom of Moses’ mother proves to be pure genius.
The spot on the river where Moses lies hidden in the reeds is the same place that Pharaoh’s daughter comes to take her bath. Historians debate over the exact identity of Pharaoh’s daughter. Some believe that she was Hatshepsut. Her husband was Pharaoh Thutmose II. It was known that she could not have children and so her husband had a child through another woman. Thus the son of another woman would be heir to the throne. She would have considered finding a baby in the river to be a gift from the Gods because she now had her own son who would be heir to the throne.
Others believe that the woman who found the baby was the daughter of Rameses II. I tend to believe the first theory. I think that Moses’ mother knew that the princess could not have children and I think she knew where and when she bathed. I personally think she placed her son where he would be found and, trusting in the instincts of a woman who wanted to be a mother, she knew he would be cared for under the protection of Pharaoh, the very Pharaoh who had ordered his death. In this amazing story I see the hand of God guiding and granting wisdom to a concerned mother and in the process, not only was a baby spared, but an entire nation was saved.
Moses big sister was pretty wise too. When she sees her baby brother discovered by the princess, a woman who doesn’t have children, she inquires as to whether or not she would like for her to find a nurse maid to help raise the child. The princess says yes and Miriam, the baby’s sister goes and gets his own mother to help raise him.
Moses grew up in the household of Pharaoh and it is very possible that he would have been in line to lead Egypt one day. He was undoubtedly a prince of Egypt and had power, education, prestige, wealth and all of the trappings of royalty. On top of the blessings of royalty, he had his own mother raising him and no doubt teaching him the truth about God. We know that he knew his heritage because as the story continues we see Moses make an attempt to save a Hebrew who is being abused.
The Bible tells us that many years later, after Moses had grown up, he went out to visit “his own people” and he saw an Egyptian slave master beating and abusing his fellow countryman. So Moses murdered the Egyptian and hid his body in the sand.
One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.
Exodus 2:11-12 (NIV)
This is Moses first attempt to rescue the people of Israel. But it fails miserably. Moses uses his own strength and his own poor planning to intervene and rescue and Israelite and is disappointed by the results. Moses knows his plan is ill conceived because he tries to hide his actions. He looks around to make certain know one is looking and then he kills the Egyptian. Doing things his way doesn’t work.
His own people refuse to follow him and his plan is found out. When he encourages one of his fellow Hebrews to show kindness and restraint to another he is greeted with disdain and the revelation that his actions are known to others. We find out that Pharaoh has discovered what he did and wants to have Moses killed. As result he has to flee. Moses runs for his life and goes to live in the barren desert of Midian to the east of Egypt.
While there Moses meets a young woman who becomes his wife and Moses goes to work for his father-in-law herding sheep in the desert. From the prince of Egypt to a shepherd in the desert. He had it all and he lost it all. Moses was a man who experienced crushing disappointment.
He was the man pegged by God to free the Israelites, but they didn’t listen to him and he was forced to flee his home, his comfortable life and everything he knew. He was stuck in the desert herding sheep. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Moses was supposed to be the leader of a great people, not a herd of sheep.
Moses now understood the heartbreak of crushing disappointment. Why? Why had God taken a man who had everything, who had the position and the influence to lead His people to freedom and disappointed him by stripping everything away? Why this heartache?
I believe that God allowed Moses to be broken hearted through disappointment for at least three reasons. God disappointed Moses in order to:
• EMPTY Moses of himself.
I tend to believe that, based upon his upbringing, his environment and the action he took to rescue the abused Hebrew slave, the Moses was full of himself. I think he felt that he could, on his own, make a difference, maybe even ending the suffering of his people. However, Moses could do nothing on his own. Moses needed to be emptied of himself.
Key Word: HUMILITY
Moses was rich, powerful, and influential. He was a member of Pharaoh’s household. He has very little in common with the Hebrews except for his DNA. He certainly can feel sympathy for their plight but he can’t fully understand their heartache and their disappointment. They knew they were special, chosen by God. They knew that they were descendents of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They knew that Joseph had once been ruler of Egypt. But now they find themselves as slaves, oppressed by the heavy hand of Pharaoh. Even their children were not safe.
Moses had no experience with their pain and suffering. Moses had too much Moses in him and as such he was unqualified to lead them. However, God has a way of disappointing us so that we can learn to depend fully upon him.
In disappointing Moses through his exile into the desert he helps Moses identify with the disappointment of his people. He helps Moses to realize that alone, he is not capable of doing anything. He makes Moses nothing so that he can use Moses.
God likes to use the things that the world wouldn’t use. It keeps us from getting too full of ourselves.
But God chose the foolish things of this world to put the wise to shame. He chose the weak things of this world to put the powerful to shame. What the world thinks is worthless, useless, and nothing at all is what God has used to destroy what the world considers important. God did all this to keep anyone from bragging to him.
I Corinthians 1:27-29 (CEV)
And the disappointment works. Moses goes from being the self-appointed savior of his people to the reluctant leader of God’s people, able to do great things in the strength of God.
As a young Egyptian prince he commits murder to aid his people, now when God calls him is response is very different.
“Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?
God answered, “I will be with you.”
Exodus 3:11-12 (NLT)
Before God can use us, we have to be emptied of ourselves. He can only use us when we are completely dependent upon Him. Thus God sometimes breaks our hearts with disappointment so that we can become humble enough for him to use.
I’m thankful for hearts broken through disappointment because they empty me of me so I can be useful to God.
God disappointed Moses in order to:
• POSITION Moses so that he could experience God.
Often the things we experience that are disappointing and painful and devastating are orchestrated by God, or at the very least allowed by God, in order to put us in the right place at the right time to experience God and to hear him leading us.
Key Word: OPENNESS.
Joseph had this sense of openness. He recognized that God had more than just his comfort in mind as he allowed events to unfold. Look at his response to his brothers when they come seeking his forgiveness after they have betrayed him, beaten him and sold him into slavery.
You tried to harm me, but God made it turn out for the best, so that he could save all these people, as he is now doing.
Genesis 50:20 (CEV)
Joseph understood disappointment. He went from being his father’s favorite son to a slave that was thrown in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
We’ll learn more about Joseph in a couple of weeks, but just know that sometimes God allows us to be thoroughly disappointed so that we can be in a position to experience Him. As long as we are comfortable and happy and as long as we feel secure, we have a tendency to not look for God and a hesitancy to be open to him.
When life is good we have a way of taking credit for it and ignoring God. Because of that natural human tendency, God will allow us to be disappointed so that we can be in a position to experience him and be open to him.
The burning bush that Moses experienced was very unusual. He had been tending sheep for 40 years in the barren, empty, unchanging desert. Suddenly a bush that’s on fire but isn’t burned up appears. That gets his attention. He had no distractions because of his disappointment.
If Moses had remained in Egypt, he may have never seen the burning bush. There was so much going on in Egypt. There was so much to see and do. Moses had the trappings of power and influence and these things have a way of keeping us focused on ourselves. In the desert, Moses had to care for the sheep. He had to protect them and so he had to keep his eyes off of himself and keep them on his surroundings. With his eyes off of himself he was in a position to experience God at an intimate level.
If Moses hadn’t been disappointed, if Moses hadn’t become a lowly shepherd in the desert, perhaps he misses the burning bush because he is not in a position to experience God.
So often we are not in a position to experience God because we let ourselves be distracted by the business and the rush of our lives. We are going in 100 different directions at once, we are unable to experience God because we are not in a position to experience Him. But often, he’ll disappoint us and leave us alone and wounded so that we can focus on him without distraction. Then we are in a position to experience Him and discover what he is doing. Then we can join him in that work.
I’m thankful for hearts broken through disappointment because they position me so that I can experience God.
God disappointed Moses in order to:
• PREPARE Moses for the task God had called him to.
As a young prince of Egypt, Moses was not prepared to lead people. He was educated and well connected, but he was not prepared to lead a rag tag bunch of exiles into the desert.
When God allowed Moses to go into exile in the desert for forty years, he wasn’t just putting Moses in a holding pattern. He was preparing Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
Key Word: TEACHABLE
When we are disappointed by God, we must have a teachable spirit. If we will, he will prepare us for greater things than we can imagine.
Many people aren’t aware of this, but sheep and people are very much alike. Herding sheep is very similar to leading people.
Sheep can’t be driven, at least not well. If you try to drive a herd of sheep like you would drive a herd of cattle, the sheep will scatter. Sheep must have a shepherd out in front to lead them.
People work much the same way.
Sheep have a tendency to wander away and get lost because they are easily distracted. People too tend to wander.
Sheep respond well to love and care. People do to.
Sheep are stupid. Need I say more?
Moses spent forty years in the desert herding sheep so that he could spend forty years in the desert herding people. His forty years as a shepherd taught him how to find food, water and shelter in the desert. Forty years with sheep taught him how to lead people and guide them safely through the perils that a place like the Arabian Desert would offer.
Moses didn’t know it, but his forty years of disappointment were forty years of on the job training to prepare him for the greater task God had in mind for him: The task of leading the Israelites to freedom.
God often disappoints us and in the situations that we hate, those situations that break our heart and cause us to come to a standstill, God is preparing us for the greater task to which he has called us.
God wants to use you in a mighty way, but first he has to prepare you.
I’m thankful for hearts broken through disappointment because they prepare me to be useful to God.
Conclusion: Nobody that I know likes broken hearts. By nature a broken heart hurts. It interrupts our lives. It wrenches us free of our comfort zone and forces us to deal with the harsh, painful realities of life. But that is exactly where God needs us to be.
God has called me and God has called you to be and do greater things for him than we currently are and do. But to be fully used by God we have to be shaped by God. And pain, the furnace of affliction, is how God most frequently shapes us.
While we don’t like broken hearts we can be thankful for them nonetheless. I don’t like it, but I’m thankful to God for the broken heart caused by disappointment. In my disappointment he empties me of myself, he positions me to experience him and he prepares me for greater service.
The pain of a disappointment certainly breaks our hearts. But a greater pain still comes in the disappointment of not being used by God for the great work to which he has called us.
Let me encourage you today. Don’t run from disappointment, but let God use it to make you ready for service.
Let’s Pray.
